Redeeming Olivia
by Chronicleofabutterfly
Summary: When Elliot snoops into Olivia's past without her permission, can he handle what he finds? Will Olivia's decision to use herself as bait to catch her father get her killed? Careers will be on the line and perps are in Olivia's crosshairs as bad gets worse
1. Chapter 1 Great Expectations

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL WRITTER. I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS CHAPTER. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHT. THANKS.

CHAPTER ONE: GREAT EXPECTATIONS

As Elliott drove his black Acura to Olivia's house he thought to himself that it was an exceptionally beautiful evening in New York City, the sky was seductively clear, the breeze was soft and perfectly romantic. Elliott hoped that the weather would be just as good when they went to Jersey as it was here. He wanted this particular night with Olivia to be beautiful, romantic and of course memorable. As he pulled up to Olivia's apartment and placed the car in park he pulled out a small box from his jacket pocket and opened it . It was the most perfect diamond ring Elliott had ever seen. In reality Elliott would have never seen it had he not been working on a case.

Elliott and Olivia were partners investigating sexually based offenses in New York City. They had been together for years as partners and then slowly they became more. Elliott and Olivia both agreed that the only down side to their relationship was having to keep it away from all of their friends. No one in the squad room could know that they were seeing each other. If anyone found out, they would be putting their jobs on the line.

For the last year they were running away for secret rendezvous in Jersey. Elliott entered the apartment building and headed for the elevator, pushed the button and walked in. The little black box was still in his hand as the doors closed. Elliott remembered the first time he laid eyes on Olivia, her incredible brown eyes and sexy skin. He smiled as he remembered their first kiss, her lips were as soft as rose petals against his lips. Her scent was exotic and electrifying.

"Sir...excuse me?" A voice called into the elevator.

Elliot looked up and to his alarm saw more people than could possibly fit in the elevator waiting for him to get off.

"Sir, is this your floor? Are you okay?" The voice called again.

Elliott quickly put the ring back in his pocket and walked down the hall to Olivia's apartment and rang the door bell. His stomach was beginning to churn. He loved when his stomach fluttered because he knew it only performed such acrobatics when Olivia was around. Or when he talked to her on the phone, thought of her, looked at her or anything that involved her.

The door began to open and there she stood. Olivia, a goddess bar none.

"Elliot, your early, come in, come in." Olivia said as she took Elliott by the hand and brought him in her apartment.

"_Shes gorgeous_" he thought to himself.

Olivia was a very attractive woman, at 32 she was Elliott's Cleopatra. Elliott loved to go swimming in her beautiful brown eyes. Her perfect olive skin was soft against his. She was a strong, sometimes stubborn woman but at the same time entirely fragile. At times Elliot thought he saw a certain pain in her eyes, a pain that was masked by her beautiful smile but a pain that could not be hidden from him.

Olivia had never entirely opened up to Elliott other than a stranger had raped her mother and that was how she was born. He was almost certain there was more to the story but Olivia held back her tears, refused to cry, even in front of him. He never pushed her to tell the whole story but accepted the parts she could tell. One day he hoped she could open up completely, he was confident his patience and love would provide her with a warm landing.

"I am almost ready, let me get my shoes." She told Elliot as she went into her room.

"No rush, you look fantastic tonight." Elliott said. He loved it when she wore that black skirt. It fell just above her knee. Her shirt was in typical Olivia style. She wore her standard white shirt under the softess form fitting sweater Elliott had ever had the pleasure of touching. He never could figure out what the white shirt was for. He noticed no other women had dressed that way specifically but he couldn't figure out why she absolutely had to have it. He had asked her about it once or twice but that pained look came back into her eyes so he didn't ask again but he defiantly knew something was wrong when not only did Olivia continually make excuses for not making love with Elliott, one night, while watching their favorite movie, Olivia was laying in Elliott's arms. Elliot tried to slip his hand under her shirt to rub her stomach and Olivia cringed, pushed his hand away and asked him to leave. She wouldn't see him for a week but Elliott took her back no questions asked. He loved her.

"Alright, ready!" Olivia came out of her room and joined Elliott in leaving the apartment building.

Elliot and Olivia took their seats at one of their favorite resturants in New Jersey overlooking the menu as the waitress came by.

"I heard the staek here is amazing." Elliot said.

"Really? Hmmm, I guess I'll have staek, medium rare." She told him smiling.

"Great, we'll have two staeks, her's medium rare, mine well done and your best wine please." Elliott told the waiter

"Okay, My name is Melissa and I'll be your host. Please let me know if you need anything. I'll be back with your wine shortly." The waitress informed the two.

"Did I tell you that you look incredible tonight, I mean really beautiful?" Elliot took Olivia's hand in his.

"Elliot? Whats going on? Why are you so serious tonight?" She asked him, searching his face.

"Olivia, I have been doing a lot of thinking. I can't sleep because you are always on my mind. I am always wondering if you are okay, if you are hurting, I wonder what you are doing when I am not around. I want to wake up next to you every morning, because I can't think ofanything more beautiful than looking into your face at the start ofeach new day. I am asking you to start each new day with me; Olivia Benson... will you marry me?" Elliot was looking expectantly at Olivia, however, he was not prepared for her reaction.

Olivia's eyes welled up with tears. She was trying to hold it in but was starting to loose the battle. She was staring at Elliot dumbfounded. Slowly she pulled her hand out of the grasp of his.

"Olivia?" Elliot was immediately concerned. What did he just do? Did he just throw away one of the most beautiful relationships he has ever had? What was happening?

" I...I am sorry...Elli...I um, I have to go. I have to go now."Olivia frantically picked up her purse and grabbed her keys off the table, knocking over a glass of tap water. She was walking almost running out of the restaurant just as Elliot grabbed hold of her arm.

"Liv, please wait! What iswrong?" He grabbed her and spun her around, forcing her to look at him.

"Sweety what is wrong? Why are you running?" She was starting to squirm out of his grasp.

"Please Elliot leave me alone! I have to go! I am so sorry." She spun around quickly and stepped out into the busy street. SSSSCCCRREEAAAACCCCHHHHH

"OLIVIA WATCH OUT!" Elliot screamed out to her but it was to late. The driver of the red Honda didn't see her in time to stop. Olivia slammed hard into the vehicle. Her head shattering the safety glass of the front windshield. Olivia was not moving. Elliot ran over to her calling out her name. "Olivia? Livie? Baby answer me!"

Elliot rolled her lifeless body over towards him. "Liv, answer me sweet heart, open your eyes." Slowly he saw her head begin to move forward and back, "El?...El...please, it hurts." She managed to tell him. "Help...me El." she muttered "I will Liv don't you worry."


	2. Chapter 2 The truth is what I saw

I DO NOT OWN ANY SVU CHARACTERS WHICH SADDENS MY HEART

"Elliot Stabler?" a deep voice rang through the waiting room.

"Yeah, yeah right here doc, oh man how is she? Where- can I see here please?" Elliot was frantic, almost crying. "This wasn't suppose to happen, not like this, not today. What is going on." He shouted to himself inside his own mind.

"Sir, I need you to settle down, I am doctor Johnson who are you in relation to Ms. Benson?" He asked Elliot.

Elliot stared at the doctor. He just realized that he couldn't tell him he was her fiance because, well, the simple fact was Olivia didn't respond the way he had anticipated, he couldn't tell the doctor he was her boyfried either.

"I...I... I am dectetive Elliot Stabler SVU, I am her partner. Will she be okay?" Elliot was boring a hole through the doctors eyes.

"Sir were doing everything we can, she sustatined a serious head injury, shes in a coma." Elliot could feel his legs weaken under her. He sat down on the blue chair and stared at the ground.

"The good news, Mr. Stabler, is that she has no broken bones. She is in a coma but there is the possibility of waking up in the next few minutes, days or weeks. Mr. Stabler there is something I would like to ask you about, something we found while we were evaluating her in the E.R." The doctor took a seat next to Elliot.

"Self mutilation is starting to become a common factor in society." The doctor began, "Its unusual to see it in someone of Olivia's age. What do you thin..." The doctor was cut off.

"WOW, what are you talking about? Mulilation? Olivia isn't a cutter! What are you talking about? Elliot was standing straight up at this point. "What are you talking about?" He demanded again.

"Sir what would the numbers 08,26,95 mean to her?" The doctor asked

"I don't know. I still don't know what you are talking about?" Elliot was frusterated.

"Detective Stabler, when we cut away away Olivia's shirt these numbers were carved into her abdomon. It's a large cutting. It required stitches, from the scaring it looks like over a hundred, more or less. Is she still cutting?" The doctor asked again.

"I am telling you, she's not a cutter, there is an explanation to this, I just don't know what it is. Let me see her! What room is she is." Elliots voice was growing louder.

"Shes in 828 but sir, you can't go in there, things are still touchy, there..." Elliot grabbed the doctor by his white jacket and held him closely to Elliots face. " Let me tell you something doc," Elliot was angry and hurting " That woman, your patient, is my partner, I love her, without her I am nothing, so how about you retain some of that ivy league information your bound to have floating around in your brain and put it to good use. Don't let her hurt or I swear to you, I will hurt YOU, got it?" Elliot cut the doctor loose and made his way to room 828.

Beep, beep, beep, it was a slow and steady sound, It was the sound of the machines sustaining Olivia. Elliot took her hand into his carefull of the IV and kissed her softly on her forhead. " Liv, baby, I am right hear." He sat close by her bed and continued to hold her hand. "Olivia can you hear me?" He asked her. Suddenly there was a gently pressure against his hand, what was this? Olivia was squeezing his hand. "I am right here, open your eyes."

"El...Eliot?" Came the grogy sound of Olivia's voice.

"Liv! I am right here. I love you. Do you know..."

"Elliot? What happened? Where am I?" Olivia cut him off with questions that Elliot knew would be painful to answer.

"Liv, you were hit by a car outside of the resturant...your head went through the windsheild of the car." Elliot paused. He noticed Olivia was shivering. The doctors didn't have her in a gown, they had layers of gauze that covered her chest. Elliot assumed it was the shards of glass from the window the had cut her beautiful skin. To keep her warm they covered her with a thin hospital blanket.

"Liv, are you cold? Your shivering." Elliot asked

"Lil bit" She managed to get out between labored breaths

Elliot reached into the portable closet in the room and pulled out a white blanket, it must have just been placed there because it was still warm to the touch. He began talking to her as he turned around

"Liv I got..." Olivia was asleep again. Elliot walked over to the bed and pulled down the old blanket. Elliot had never seen Olivia naked, he difinately wanted to make love to her but she would shut down anytime he tried to make a serious move so still trying to honor her request he tried to avert his eyes then realized her breast were covered with bandages. He took a deep breath as he changed her blanket. He shuttered when he saw it...

"_What the heck happened to you baby_?" Elliot thought to himself

There it was across her stomach, covering her left to right. "082695" What was this number? She couldn't have done this to herself, theres no way. Elliot continued to place the warm blanket over her body and put the old one over that to keep the warmth in.

"See you tomorrow sweat heart." Elliot kissed Olivia on the forehead and walked out of the room. He reached into his pocket to pull out his phone when his fingers recognized the engangement ring he still had. He pulled it out, looking at it intently and walked back into Olivia's room. He gently slipped it onto her wedding finger and walked back out of the room reaching into his pocket for his cell phone.

"Yeah, hey Cap, sorry to call you so late, it's Olivia she's in the hospital."


	3. Chapter 3 Its a date

I DON'T OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS

"Hi, I am detective Stabler, I am here to pick up my partner detective Benson." Elliot was ecstatic that they were letting Olivia come home, it had been a week since the accident. Elliot already told the Captain that Benson was going to be staying at a friends house until she can come back to work. The truth was he would be staying at her house, to help her out until she was one hundred percent but he couldn't afford a comforting visit from anyone at the station. Elliot walked into room 828 with the required wheel chair needed for her release.

"Alright Liv, rise and shine, were blowin' this popsicle stand." Elliot was happy to see her, she was doing better. He had visited over the week but the drugs kept her tired and not wanting to talk to much. Staying with her he realized she talked in her sleep – nightmares. He realized a new pain within Olivia – what was going on?

"Elliot," Her voice was serious. "Today was the first day I was able to get out of the bed and look in the mirror." she took a deep breath, " I was looking at the cuts on my face, when I noticed something in the mirror."

"What, what did you notice?" He asked her whispering softly. He continued "You look beautiful and the cuts aren't bad

not bad at all." He was trying to reassure her.

"Elliot?" The hallow tone of her voice commanded his attention. He turned around to notice she was holding up her left hand, displaying the diamond ring to him. Her chin was trembling and her eyes were watering but she would not cry, even now.

"We can talk about that when we get home okay? Here sit down and lets get out of here." Olivia sat in the wheel chair and closed her eyes as Elliot wheeled her out of the hospital.

The car ride to Olivia's house was silent. The look on her face told him she was in pain so he didn't force a conversation, he simply reached over and held her hand. She turned her face from him and stared out the window but she did not withdraw her hand from his.

Rrrrrrrrriiiiiiinnnnnnngggggg. Elliot rolled over on the couch and turned off the alarm clock. Elliot had been over to Oliva's house enough that he knew his way around the kitchen. Pancakes were Oliva's favorite and it just so happened they were his expertese. He was almost done, in fact pouring a glass of orange juice to accompany the pancakes, when he saw her out of the cornier of his eye standing in the threshold of the kitchen.

"Hey, your feeling better huh?" Elliot asked as he dried his hands on the hand towel and walked over to her. She smiled up at him bashfully.

"You made me pancakes?" She asked him softly "I love pancakes." she said as she placed her hand on his chest. She still had some minor scrapes and bruises but nothing that wouldn't heal up.

"I know you do." He said, leaning into her. It had been a week since he had felt her lips against his and he missed her. He leaned in closer to her, closing his eyes, but just as he was about to feel the sweatness of her mouth she pulled away from him. He was surprised but didn't let her know he was disappointed, instead he gathered her up into his arms and held her.

"Your breakfast is getting cold" He told her as he let go and led her to the table. They both set down at the table and looked at eachother. Olivia turned away. Elliot could not remember a time when Olivia looked away from him in shame. But here, there was a great deal of it and Elliot couldn't stand to see her in this state.

Olivia finished breakfast and sat on the couch. Elliot walked over to her and kneeled down infront of her.

"Baby, whats wrong? Is it the accident?" he asked holding her hand in his. He was aware she was still wearing his ring. "_Thats a good sign he thought to himself, isn't it_? "

"Elliot?" Her eyes were welling up again. "When I was in the hospital, what happened? I woke up in clothes that weren't mine, doctors scrubbs, who put them on me? Did you?" Her chin was trembling her eyes were panicked.

"No, Liv, the nurse dressed you, why?" He thought he knew what she getting at but he wanted _her_ to tell him. He didn't want her to know that he saw the gruesome site on her abdomen. "111881" what did that mean? He had thought about it over the last week and ruled out the possibility of a phone number, he went so far as to think of account numbers or lock combinations but quickly dismissed them.

"So they saw me naked?" She bowed her head.

"Liv, your a beautiful person, inside and definatly outside, don't worry about it. It's the nurses job." Elliot was busting at the seems wanting to ask her what the numbers meant but he didn't want her to know he had seen her. He remained as cool and level headed as he could.

"I want to lay down for a while and rest El, is that okay? My body is aching all over." She was getting more and more tired.

"Absolutley, hold on I'll get you a Tylenol." Elliot left the room and return shortly thereafter with two Tylenol and a glass of water.

"Here ya go. This should help with the pain and let you get some sleep." He handed her the pills and water. She drank half of the glass and Elliot put it on the coffee table. He gently ran his finger through her hair softly carressing her cheeck. "I love you Olivia, I need you to know that." He told her as she fell asleep.

Elliot turned to pick up the glass when he noticed Olivias favorite picture on the coffee table. It was a snap shot of her on her graduation day from the Police Academy. She looked as beautiful now as she did then. "When was this picture taken?" he wondered to himself. He looked in the lower right corner of the piture and saw the date 11/18/95. Elliot placed the picture back on the table and walked into the kitchen.

"Wow 95' she looked so happy then. She's still the most beautiful woman I have ever met." He continued to talk to himself " I wonder if she will ever answer my wedding proposal. I want to spend the rest of my life..." Elliot suddenly stopped in the middle of his thoughts. He began speaking out load.

"Ninety-five, ninety-five? Why does that sound familiar?" He was thinking like a detective now. Tracing his steps for the day.

"Ninety-five?...Olivia? 082695," Elliot was starring at her as she slept. "The number, its a date August 26, 1995? What the heck happened?" He couldn't stop starring at her as she slept. He couldn't fight it anymore. He was going to get to the bottom of this with or without the confessions of Olivia. He walked quickly into the kitchen hunted down a pen and paper in what Olivia refered to as the clutter dwar. The problem was that there was absolutley no clutter anywhere in her apartment. "Liv" he began writing, "Got a lead on an old case, going to do some follow up be back in no time. Love you more than you know, 'E'."

Olivia turned on the couch once to her left then over to her right, before she gave into the fact that she wouldn't be sleeping. She sat up on the couch and brought her left hand to her face. The ring was gorgeous, stunning in fact. She realized it was the same ring she and Elliot had seen in a hawk shop. They were following a lead looking for a guy who was peddling child porn. She caught the glimmer of this ring just by chance and told Elliot she thought it was beautiful.

"He remembered." She thought to herself. It had been a year since that case. Was it possible he bought the ring that long ago? "Has he wanted to marry me all of this time?" Olivia looked to see a folded piece of paper sitting on the coffee table. The out side said "Olivia" She opened it and read "Liv, got a lead on an old case be back in no time, love you more than you know. 'E'. She folded the paper and held it close to her body as she brought her knees to her chest. She couldn't take it. The emotions from this week were to much. She was finally alone now, alone to cry. As a single tear fell down her cheeck she hung her head in seeming defeat.


	4. Chapter 4 Making up for lost time

THE ONLY CHARACTER I OWN HERE IS LARUE THE OTHERS BELONG TO DICK WOLF.

"LaRue! Whats happening man?" Elliot called out to his friend.

"Elliot! Hey man how the heck have you been?" Its been a couple of months! So nice of you to remember me." LaRue said sarcastically. LaRue was a tall man, light skin, and curley hair. He was half french from his mother's side and was a good friend of Elliot and Olivia. He was, in fact, the only cop that new about the relationship between the two.

Elliot first met LaRue when they worked as partners in the homicide division in Jersey. Elliot, moved on to the Special Victims Unit in New York and LaRue became chief of dectectives in Jersey.

"Alright I am guilty of not coming by or calling, but I am in love with the eighth world wonder, what do you want from me?" Elliot said giving a strong hug to his friend.

"I'll let it slide this time my friend, but next time you and Liv better stop by for dinner huh? Speaking of which, how is she doing?" LaRue asked Elliot as they sat down in La Rue's office.

"Actually, thats why I am here." Elliot was serious now. "La Rue, no one can know what I am going to tell you. And if you don't want to know either you had better tell me know because Liv doesn't even know I am here." Elliot waited for his reply.

"Huh?" he said leaning back in his chair looking at Elliot. "Let me get this straight your going behind Olivia's back about something obviously, if your willing to betray her, thats pretty detremental. Secretive if you are willing to come all the way out here to ask for my help." LaRue paused. "I am in." he quipped. "Whats going on." He leaned into Elliot in an effort to keep their voices down.

"Last week", Elliot began, "I asked Liv to marry me..."

"Wow way to go. Oh I get it you want me to be best man, well I am hon-"

"LaRue! I am not done." Elliot was getting impatient. He had to get back to Liv soon so she wouldn't become suspicious.

"Sorry. Go ahead, what did she say?" LaRue asked

"No." Elliot responded bleekly. "It spooked her so much she ran out of the resturant and was hit by a car." Elliot was shocked to find his eyes blurring with tears. "When she was in the E.R. They cut away her shirt and there were old scars all over her body. There was a series of numbers carved into her abdomen LaRue. Along with stab wound and burn marks. I ruled out most possibilities and I think its a date. I think the numbers 082695 are actually meant to say August 26, 1995. She has never said anything about it, but this explains why she would never let me see her in a bathing suit, why she wears those white undershirts, why she would cringe when I would try to touch her...why she wouldn't make love to me." Elliot sat back in the chair looking beaten.

"Wow, I don't know what to say. Elliot, you two have dated for two years and you haven't made love?" LaRue always was committed to the search of one thing...sex.

"Rue, shut it!." Elliot said exasperated. " I need your help, I need to know what happened she's a locked safe man." Elliot was fighting not to cry but he was desperate.

"What do you need man?" LaRue was now sympathetic and serious.

"Olivia graduated the N.Y.P.D acadamey in Novemeber of 1995, I want you to check into her record and see if you find any abnormalities. She told me it took her two extra months to graduate. When I asked why, she shrugged and said 'Stuff'. It couldn't be her performance, she's as fit as a linebacker, and her shooting ability and knowledge of the law is off the charts. Theres something there but I can't just go poking around. I need your help here man." Elliot

"Alright bud, I'll see what I can do."LaRue replied.

"Liv, I am here." Elliot called out to her closing the door.

No answer.

"Olivia?" Elliot noticed the sliding door to the balcony was open.

"Liv" he called to her softer so as not to startle her. She was looking down over the city. Elliot had spent many a night on this balcony with her. He knew it was a place of tremendous comfort to her. She came out here when they had particularly difficult cases.

"Elliot," she turned to look at him. "I want to marry you but I am scared." she blurtted out but she couldn't look at him. She was overflowing with shame and she did not want him to see her cry.

"Tell me what scares you Liv." Elliot said to her just above a whisper. "Tell me what is hurting you." he walked closer to her. She still avoided his eyes.

"I am scared if you saw who I really am you'll leave." She told him with a tension in her voice that he had never heard from her before.

"Olivia look at me." He stood even closer to her, she didn't have anywhere to go, but she still couldn't look at him."Liv what ever it is, you can conquer this." Elliot was trying to be strong for her. She looked at him and then down at the cement floor again.

"Elliot, my entire world is the pain that is inside me." She was struggling to get the words out.

"Then let me into your world, so you won't be alone." He walked closer to her but she could not raise her head.

Elliot placed his hand on her cheek, forcing her to look at him. He ran his thumb over her lips. "I love you. I love you because you are strong, beautiful, and intellegent. I love you because, every time I see you my heart almost explodeds with excitement, my stomache fills up with butterflies, and I know that without you by my side, I am useless. I love you because your Olivia, and I don't care what is in your past, it wont ever make me leave you. Ever!" He leaned in closer to Olivia seperating her lips by resting his thumb on her chin. Their lips met, for the first time in what seemed like forever to Elliot. She relaxed in his embrace as he placed one hand on her waist and the other he kept near her face. Olivia always kissed with her eyes wide open but this time, they were closed, she was trusting just a little bit more. They parted lips and Elliot took a step back, he didn't want to overwhelm her, but Olivia followed, bringing him back to her mouth. She knew Elliot loved it when she 'did that thing with her tongue' as he would say. She slowley ran her tongue over his teeth and playfully bit down on his bottom lip.

"Why Ms. Benson, are we feeling better?" Elliot asked feciciously

"Lets just say I am making up for lost time Mr. Stabler." She blushed and laid her head on his chest. "I want to marry you Elliot, I just need time." She said as he held her.

"Take all the time you need Liv." he said, "I am not going anywhere.


	5. Chapter 5 August 26, 1995

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS A VERY GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF RAPE I RATE THIS PARTICULAR CHAPTER AS MATURE. IF YOUR UNDER EIGHTEEN YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T READ. JUST KNOW THAT SHE RECOUNTS HER RAPE WHEN SHE WAS IN THE POLICE ACADEMY AS SHE PREPARES FOR A SHOWER.

Olivia was scavaging through a basket of clean clothes looking for her favorite towel.

"Ah ha! Found it" she spoke aloud. It was morning time and Elliot had already left for work. She still had one day of sick leave and she needed to run errands before she returned to work. She was appreciative of him sleeping on the couch. She knew she was lucky to have a man like him by her side. She ran the shower water and begin to take her clothes off away from the mirror. Olivia never changed in front of a mirror that could show more than her face. A towel was always strategicially placed over the full length mirror hanging on the wall of her bathroom. She hated seeing her stomach and chest. She took off her flannel pants and lace underwear and placed them in the laundry basket. She started to unbutton her shirt when she turned and faced the mirror. She opened the shirt and let it fall to her feet. She stared at her body in the mirror and traced the scares with her fingers. In the past she had tried everything to get rid of the scars but no amount of scar reduction cream seemed to help and the doctor's said laser treatment wouldn't help and she couldn't have a plastic surgery without the squad room in the mix. She was relieved that the visible damage of the wreck was gone from her body but she wanted the scars gone too. She continued to trace the numbers with her middle finger. "August 26, 1995"she said as she traced her war wounds. Thats what she called them. Because the torture she went through that night resembled torture that a prisoner of war would have endured. The burns, the slaps, the knife. It all came flooding back to her.

It was an streamlined warm August as Olivia recalled. She had just finished some classes for the police academy. She stopped by the market on her way back to the apartment. As Olivia stood in front of her door she had begun to feel sick. "Wow" She thought to herself. She shook it off as she shifted her bag of groceries and placed the key in the door. Olivia nudged the door shut with her foot and walked into the kitchen to put the groceries away when she noticed a curtain flowing like a cloud. "Huh, I don't remember leaving the window open." She wondered aloud. She placed the carton of eggs she held in her hand on the counter and walked over to the window to close it. Just as she put her hand on the window she felt a tremendous pain rip through the back of her head.

"Uhhh..." was all that she could murmur before her vision blackened and her knees gave way. Olivia was out cold.

Olivia woke up to a rude smell that was close to her face. She could vaugely make out a figure holding a vile of something to her nose. She shook her head away from the smell and moaned in a great deal of pain. The pillow she was laying on was warm with what Olivia knew was her own blood. Her head was throbbing, she tried to massage the pain away but realized, to her own terror, that her hands were handcuffed to her own bed. She tried to move her feet but they were bound. She was laying there a human 'X'.

"Glad to see your awake beautiful." A voice came from the corner of the room. Olivia didn't know the voice. It was deep. Sadistic.

"Who are you? Is this some kind of joke? Come on you guys, theres no hazing in the academy. Guys I am bleeding." Olivia spoke not fully cognascent of her surroundings. All she knew was she was tied up in her room, bleeding on her favorite sheets.

"Honey, what I am about to do to you, is no joke." He told her as he grabbed a briefcase and placed it on the dresser next to her bed. He opened it up and pulled out what looked like a scarf or handkerchief. The pattern on it was like the oriental carpets Olivia use to look at in the stores. However, there was something familiar about this scarf. Something that sent shivers throughout her body. Olivia began to squirm and the closer he got to her the more she began to yell. She was suddenly aware that she was in a great deal of trouble. He placed the scarf around her mouth and tied it tight.

"Wouldn't want you to get loud." He told her with a demonic smile on his face.

To Olivia's utter horror, this human demon climbed onto the bed. Climbed on top of her. She tried to fight, to scream, but it was useless against the handcuffs and binds. His weight was suffocating her. He was at first ironically gentle with Olivia. He was enjoying her body. His hand was oddly warm as he placed it under her shirt stroking her

stomach and messaging her breasts.

"This can't be happening" she thought to herself her mind was racing but there was nothing she could do. He was strateling her with both knees on either side of her. He ripped open her buttoned up shirt, and as she heard the buttons fall to the hard wood floor he pulled out a pocket knife, it was large, perhaps a four inch blade. She couldn't make it out but she knew this was going to be a fight for her life. He was moving quickly now, he cut her bra down the center and smiled as her breast were uncovered before him. Olivia couldn't look at him. She tried to study his face, but laying naked before a man whom she did not know, nor did she want was degrading to Olivia and she knew it was going to get worse. The room was too dark to get definitive features of the man but she knew he was white possible late 40's. He grabbed her by the jaw squeezing hard.

"Don't you dare turn away from me. Your gonna look at me and your gonna enjoy it, got it." He let go of her and started to remove her pants. Olivia began to silently cry, there was nothing she could do.

"Why Ms. Benson what pretty panties your wearing. I am so glad you went with the black instead of the red. Black hides the blood, wouldn't you agree." He asked her as he pulled them down around her ankles. She was completely exposed and in spite of the warm summer, she was cold.

Olivia was suddenly mortified, just yesterday she was standing in a lingerie store debating between the black panties and the red ones. She decided on the black. She came to the stark realization that this creature, this thing had to have been following her. What else did he know she wondered.

He unbuttoned his pants and pushed them down around his calves, he still had his shoes on. The knife was still in his hand. He climbed on top of her, she tried to hold her legs closed but he managed to separate them as he forced himself into her. She could feel herself tear. She tried to shout out but all that was heard was a muffled cry. The more he continued to thrust the harder she cried and squirmed. The handcuffs were cutting into her wrist.

"Stop moving you dumb broad." He followed his order with a brutal backhand. She felt her lip split.

"I am gonna cut the gag but if you scream I'm gonna have to cut _you_ understand." He was still inside of her. "Sweetheart your lips is bleeding, let me get that for you." He said as he began to kiss her. He was thrusting more and more.

"You feel so good, I could have you all night long." he told her. "Tell me I am your daddy." He commanded.

She was silent.

"I said tell me I am your daddy!" He said as he shoved the pocket knife into her chest. She cried out but he covered her mouth. "Tell me I am your daddy or I keep stabbing like a butcher. " He was moaning and grunting as he raped her. "Who's your daddy?" he shouted.

"You are" she replied quietly

"Louder" he told her as he cut her again.

"YOU ARE!" She yelled and sobbed uncontrollably. He withdrew and pulled up his pants in a very manner of fact way.

"You were terrific sweetheart." He congratulated her on a job well done.

"Your sick." She told him. He picked up the gag and placed it firmly over her mouth again.

"Just wanted to give you a little something to remember me by love bug." He picked the knife up again, lighted a cigarette and began to carve. Olivia screamed in agony 0...8...2...6...9...5. He extinguished his cigarette on her bare skin. She passed out from the pain and woke up in the hospital. Over 150 stitches, besides the numbers there were over 39 slash marks and 4 stab wounds. It took two months before she could return back to the academy. She was different though, refused to let people close, absorbed in her work, obsessed with improving her shooting skills. She emerged physically and psychologically a much stronger person, but emotionally she was a crushed butterfly, that refused to be comforted, avoided her own body and owned a stockpile of white undershirts.


	6. Chapter 6 Rue? She was a virgin

HEY YOU GUYS THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING THIS FAR. I HOPE YOU ARE ENJOYING THIS AND I BEG FOR YOUR FEED BACK, LET ME KNOW WHATS GOOD AND WHAT SUCKS. I HAVE SEVERAL OF THE CHAPTERS ALREADY TYPED I AM EDITING AND ADDING AS I GO. SORRY I DON'T CATCH ALL THE MISTAKES. I TRY TO CATCH AS MUCH AS I CAN. BY THE WAY THOSE WHO HAVE PROVIDED FEEDBACK YOU ARE ALL SO ENCOURAGING THANKS.

"Stabler." Elliot answered his phone as he walked out of the cafe, coffee in hand.

"Elliot, I did some digging." It was LaRue

"And?" Elliot stopped dead in his tracks.

"Get over here." LaRue's voice was serious, so serious in fact that the hair on the back of Elliot's neck stood up.

Olivia stood silent in front of the mirror, the memories haunted her mind, but the scars haunted her future. She thought to herself...

"If Elliot ever finds out what happened, he'd run." "If he knew what happened he wont want me." She came to the conclusion that he could never find out, but now she realized she couldn't avoid the marriage proposal forever and then there was the issue of making love. She didn't want him to see. "Perhaps he wont notice if I wore my shirt." She thought about the odds of a man not noticing the woman he's making love to wearing a shirt then rolled her eyes and finished getting ready.

"LaRue whatdya got for me?" Elliot's voice was tense.

" I spoke with the former commander of the particular academey that Liv went to. He happened to be a friend of mine. He confirmed that there was an attack on a female recruit at the same time that Olivia would have been attending the academy. He wouldn't confirm the identity of the victim but he told me the hospital they took her too..." LaRue paused and looked down.

"What? Whats wrong?" Elliot Picked up the file from LaRue's desk.

"I pulled some strings at the hospital Elliot, my rear is in the sling if I m caught." He wanted to make sure Elliot understood the risk he took. He loved Olivia like a sister.

"I understand, thanks." Elliot was ready to open the file when he noticed the name on the tab, ABIGAIL LAYTON 08/26/95.

"Abigail Layton? Who's that?" Elliot was confused.

"Abbi, is Olivia Olivia is Abbi." LaRue answered and then continued. " I asked the hospital to pull up all the records of females patients for the date you specified. Olivia Benson wasn't on the list. I went through the files one by one, there actually weren't a lot for that date. It was the second to the last in the pile, her picture fell out of the file. It's bad Elliot, he really worked her over." He shook his head as Elliot turned around to face away from LaRue. He opened the file and had to take a seat. He flipped through the papers that were filled out, White female, average weight, five foot nine...blah blah blah, he took hold of the pictures and his eyes welled up as he saw Olivia; cut, stabbed and abused.

"Theres an OBGYN report here?" Elliot knew exactly what that meant. "Olivia was raped." He thought aloud. "Vaginal tears... _torn_ _hymen?_" Elliot looked up at his friend. "Rue, Liv was a virgin...?" he couldn't say anymore. It must have been devastating for her to have that ripped from her.

"Elliot, I am sorry man." LaRue's words were not comforting. Elliot felt the tears stream his face.

"Thats why she couldn't make love, thats the reason for the shirts, to keep me from seeing this." Elliot closed the file sharply.

"Police report?" Elliot just switched into detective mode. "She was raped, stabbed and mutilated, there must be a police report. Where is it?" If ever there was someone he wanted to kill it would be the perp who did this.

"I figured you would want it, I had it pulled...Elliot, they never caught him. The photos and detectives notes are there." LaRue stopped and changed the topic slightly."Elliott what are you going to do about Olivia now that you know?"

" I am gonna continue to love her unconditionally, extend her my patience and a place as my wife. Nothing changes, Shes still Olivia, the one I love, shes still beautiful inside...and out." Elliot stood and placed the files in his carrying bag and turned to leave.

"You have to tell her you know...otherwise, your patience is a lie. You know that right?" LaRue brought up a good point. Elliot went behind her back and at the same time spouted off to her that he was patient. This was a catch twenty two.

"I know, but first I am gonna find him." Elliot Dialed his phone.

"Hey cap? Stabler. Hey, Benson is returning to work tomorrow and I really need a few weeks off. Do you think that's possible I have time on my books?" Elliot asked as he walked to his car.

"Why so much time Elliot? Don asked

"I have some family issues that need to be tied up. Its important, closure, you know how that goes." Elliot was hoping the Captain would bite and he did.

"Yeah, tighten up the loose ends and get back here when you can. But no longer than two weeks, I don't want a tough load on Benson right now. Understand?" Don waited for Elliot's reply

"Absolutely Cap, thank you." Elliot closed the phone and drove back to Olivia's.

Elliot walked into Olivia's apartment and thought to himself. "_I can't wait until I walk into_ _our apartment_." "Olivia" he called out "You home?" There was no answer but Elliot saw a note on the Refrigerator. Olivia had teased Elliot because, for some reason he went straight to the refrigerator each time he came to her apartment, opened the door, looked around and closed it. She knew any messages that needed to be left were sure to be found on the refrigerator. He read it aloud to himself. "El: Running errands, be back at five for dinner. I love you more than you know. "L". " Elliot looked at his watch 4:15, better set the table for her he thought. 'Paper plates' he thought to himself. 'Liv hates dishes'. He scouted about the kitchen looking and decided they must be in the pantry. As he rummaged through the pantry he noticed a box on the last shelve. "Box? In the pantry Liv? That might be considered clutter" he chuckled to himself.

The box was like the ones used in the evidence rooms. Usually contains crime scene pictures, evidence, personal effects, and reports. Olivia was a work workaholic, but what case was she working on without him. Usually they collaborated together on cases. Elliot kneeled down and pulled the box toward him.

"Lets see, what case do we have here Liv." He was talking to himself.

The liable read S. BENSON RAPE. Elliot hesitated, Olivia had told him the bare bones story. It went something like. "My mom was raped. Thats how I was born." Then she switched subjects. Elliot had seen some of the case file but never had full access to it like this. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and took the lid off. He leafed through the folder casually, then picked up a manila envelope. It was still sealed. The phrase, "PHOTOS DO NOT BEND" were printed on the front. Just above that was handwriting. "Olivia, I hope you find what your looking for." there was no signature or indication of where it came from. But the official label indicated crime scene pictures. Suddenly the lock to the front door turned, Olivia was home. Elliot stumbled to get the box back in its natural order and quickly walked toward the kitchen.

"Whatchya doing?" Olivia was smiling at Elliot as he walked out of her room.

"Just setting the table for you. You mentioned dinner, so I thought I'd help." Elliot held her at the waist and kissed her. He could kiss her all day long if she would let him.

"Oh, thanks, thats sweet!" She told him when he released her from his intoxicating embrace. "Want to order Chinese?" She asked.

"Sounds good to me." He told her. He walked away hoping he had just dodged a bullet, he knew that that Olivia was extreamly preceptive and he was walking on thin ice as it was. He didn't like going behind her back, this was the first lie ever in the relationship and it was anything but white.


	7. Chapter 7 Crap! It's the Captain

Elliot and Olivia were half way through the sweat and sour pork when there was a knock at the door. They both looked up at each other.

"You expecting someone Liv?" Elliot asked

"No." she and Elliot walked into the front room. Elliot stayed a bit behind while Olivia answered the door. He didn't want to invade her space but he was curious as to who was stopping by. Olivia looked through the peep hole as the mystery guest knocked again.

"Oh crap!" Olivia said in a loud whisper. "It's the captain!" she told Elliot. He immediately ran into her bedroom and gently closed the door.

"Just a second!" She yelled in the direction of the door. "Ill be right there" She double-checked to make sure Elliot performed the proper vanishing act and then nonchalantly opened the door.

"Hey cap, how ya doing?" Olivia said with a fake smile plastered on her face.

"I should be asking you the same thing." He responded scooping her up into a friendly hug. "You look good, healed up and ready to terrorize the squad room again?" The Captain was a father figure for Olivia. She loved him and he loved her she suspected like a daughter.

"Oh, Liv. I am sorry am I interrupting?" Don asked gesturing to the two plates of Chinese food on the table.

Olivia stared at the dishes, Elliot cringed in the privacy of the bedroom. "Come on Liv, you better sale this babe." He thought to himself.

"Huh? Oh no, no...not at all, my um... Well you know, this is my first day back at my place since the accident and um...my friend that I was staying with um he err.. she brought some food, but forgot the movie so she went to the rental place to pick it up. She's a good friend huh?" Olivia was flushed.

"Yes she is." Don proceeded, "So are you up for coming in tomorrow?" He asked.

"Yeah, I am looking forward to it, going stir crazy without a case ya know?" She was making polite conversation, as much as she liked him, she didn't want him and Elliot there, he had to go!.

"Is there something specific cap? It's a bit late and I want to get an early start." She said

"Oh, what about the movie?" Don was looking at Olivia suspiciously

"Um well, I don't want to be rude to her, she helped me so much after the accident. I'll probably sleep through it on the couch." Olivia felt herself sinking. Was it starting to get hot in her apartment she wondered.

"Okay, well I'll make it short, Elliot is taking two weeks of vacation for some family stuff. I am going to keep your load light as possible until your one hundred percent. You can work with Munch if you'd like." Don waited for the 'OK' he was expecting, but instead saw a very confused Olivia.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Um Yeah, I didn't know Elliot was taking time off. He didn't mention it." Her voice was startled. '_What is up with Elliot_' she wondered.

"I am sorry, I figured that was what he came by for today." Don said

"Wha? Came by, what do you mean Elliot came by here?" Olivia was feeling cornered now,

"Well, Isn't that his work bag on the chair?" He asked

"Oh yeah, yeah, bag, um I didn't want to go out today but I needed some groceries and so he brought them by for me. He must have left it. But um, no he didn't say anything about taking time off." Olivia's heart was racing. '_O crap_' was all she could think to herself.

"Well, hey cap it was good seeing you, I am looking forward to coming in tomorrow and I'll give Elliot a call and be sure to give him a ration of crap for not letting me know he was having problems." She held the door open and Don stopped in the threshold.

"Are you sure your okay? You look a little peeked." He was concerned

"Yeah just really tired. Thanks for coming by though, here's Elliot's bag. I'll cya tomorrow." she ushered him out, but as she handed him the bag she noticed a file sticking out. All she could make out was AYTON, '_huh, new case_' she thought and closed the door. She waited a few seconds to make sure he wasn't coming back.

Olivia walked into her bedroom to see Elliot sitting on the bed. "Elliot," she asked, "What's going on? Why didn't you tell me something was wrong? Tell me what's wrong, how can I help you." She was kneeling in front of him looking intently into his eyes.

"What's wrong Elliot?" She repeated. "And what's the Ayton case?"

Captain Donald Cragen was walking out to his car. He opened the door of the Toyota Camry and went to place Elliot's bag in his car when some files fell out onto the ground. Don bent down to pick up the file. ABIGAIL LAYTON, the tab said. "_I don't remember a Layton case."_ He thought to himself. He opened the file to refresh his memory.

"What the hell?" He spoke aloud. He flipped through the file more rapidly. "Liv?" He was confused and he couldn't believe what he was saying. He crammed the file back to bag, placed the bag in the car and reached into his pocket for his cell phone.

"Elliot what's going on, what's happening with your family? And why didn't you tell me we caught another case?" Elliot told Olivia everything in hopes that she would learn to tell him everything. But Olivia found herself having to ask several questions. "Elliot? Talk to me...please!" She looked at him, searching his face for answers.

"Olivia, I have to talk..." RRRRIIINGG. RRRRIIINGG. RRRRIIINGG. Elliot's cell phone was ringing.

"Stabler."

"ELLIOT WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" It was the captain.

Elliot froze and silently mouthed the words "It's the captain" To Olivia. Olivia could hear that he was yelling at Elliot of the phone. 'Ayton...bag...Olivia...vacation' Olivia grew concerned.

"Well, yes sir, I am at my apartment right now packing... well sure, stop on by and we'll talk." Elliot closed the phone.

"Liv, when the cap was here, did he bring his car or go on the rail?" Elliot was running around her apartment gathering his things.

"His car why? What's going on?" she asked.

"Captain is on his way to my apartment, he's pissed. I think with traffic I can beat him if I go on the rail. I'll call you later. I love you. As he ran to the door, stopped in front of her, and put his hand on the small of her back '_Man her waist is sexy_' he thought bringing her close to him. He kissed her passionately on her mouth and left.

Elliot was sprinting as soon as he stepped off the subway. He was only a block away. His calves were burning and his heart was pounding. He was breathing harder and harder. After only a matter of one maybe two minutes he was in front of his apartment building. There was no sign of the captain's car. Elliot frantically put his key in the door and ran to the elevator. "Out of Order?" CRAP! Elliot yelled as he turned and bolted up the stairs. Living on the sixth floor suddenly wasn't appealing to Elliot. When he finally reached apartment 633, his apartment, he was relieved. He jammed the key in the door and opened it frantically. Elliot raced into his room stripping on his way. He changed into jeans and a faded polo shirt. He was almost about to relax when he realized he told the captain he was packing. Elliot ran back into his room and yanked a suitcase out of his closet knocking over several other items. He tossed it in the middle of the living room and returned to his room. He opened the first drawer of his dresser and hurriedly grabbed a handful of boxers, socks and undershirts. Holding them in his hands he went over to his closet and grabbed jeans and shirts like kids grab candy from a broken piñata. He returned to the front room and tossed them all inside the suitcase and flopped himself on the couch. Only seconds later there was a knock at the door.

"Ah crap you got to be kiddin' me." Elliot was exhausted and he knew he was going to get his butt reamed as soon as he opened the door.

"Hey Cap, what's happening." Elliot was smiling

"Can it Elliot!" The captain said as he walked past Elliot into his apartment.

"Cap. Look it's a delicate situation.." Elliot followed him into the living room.

"I went to Olivia's apartment today, your bag was there so I thought I would do something nice and bring it to you on my way home. When I got out to the car a file fell out. When I picked it up I didn't recognize a case by the name of Abigail Layton." The captain was pacing as he continued hammering Elliot. " Imagine my surprise Elliot, when I opened it up to refresh my memory and saw Benson's naked and mutilated body!" He was standing only inches from Elliot at this point. "Start explaining NOW!"

"Take a seat captain...hope your up for a late night." Elliot sat down and took a deep breath...

PALEESEEEE REVIEW MORE TO COME I PROMISE.


	8. Chapter 8 I never want to see you

Olivia was tossing and turning in her bed. She was wondering what was happening with Elliot and the Captain. What was Elliot keeping from her? She was the one that was used to holding out from Elliot, but as far as she knew Elliot never held out on her. In fact, she knew more about Elliot than he probably knew about himself. She suspected Elliot was trying to lay the ground work for her to open up and tell Elliot about her past, but in order for her to open up to him about something that deep, she was gonna need more than just knowing fact. She was going to have to know that he loved her unconditionally, that he would stay with her. He had done everything right, she knew that, but she couldn't bring herself to open up to the shame and humiliation that would be waiting for her. She couldn't take the tossing and turning anymore. Olivia sat up in bed and looked around her bedroom. She was restless, to kill that restlessness she decided to work on an old cold case that had never been solved. She walked to her kitchen, grabbed a bottled water from the refrigerator and grabbed an old evidence box out of her pantry. Olivia sat in her bed and opened the box.

"Would you like to have some coffee? Water or juice?" Elliot asked his unwanted guest.

"No Elliot, I want to know what the hell is going on, what is the deal with this file?" Don responded to Elliot as he threw the file to the coffee table.

"Look, Captain, with all do respect I don't think Olivia wants us to know this file even exists.

"Well, if that's the case then how did you get a hold of the file Elliot?" The captain was frustrated.

"Olivia had been acting a li...?." Before he could finish his private cell phone rang.

"Hey sweetie." It was Olivia,

"Oh hey mom how ya doing?" Elliot was pretty sure the phone was loud enough that the captain could hear the voice on the other end, Elliot walked into the kitchen.

"_Mom_? Well that's attractive." Olivia was being sarcastic "I take it he's still there huh? I just wanted to tell you bye before you went on your family leave. I hope everything is okay?"

'Oh yeah Mom, everything is fine, I'll call you shortly, I am right in the middle of something right now okay?...I love you too...bye." Elliot was definitely winging this whole situation, Elliot ended the phone call by pushing the same button he always did, but he hated this new phone, it was too loud, and he often forgot that the buttons were not in the same place. With that he slipped the phone into his jacket and returned to the captain.

Olivia placed the phone down on her bed and began to pull files from the box. As she was flipping through the files she noticed the light on her phone was still on. Even better, Elliot pushed the wrong button. It occurred to Olivia that he probably didn't want her listening in on his conversation, so she held the phone to her ear to make sure what she was hearing was actually Elliot. When she was satisfied that he had made a mistake with his phone she went to hang up. When she heard the captain say her name in the conversation.

"I want to know exactly what is happening with Olivia, why was she calling her self Abigail Layton?" His voice was loud and Olivia was suddenly overcome with disbelief. Was she hearing this correctly? How did the captain know about her alias. She had only used it as an Alias for that time she was in the Hospital. She didn't want that following her everywhere. Apparently though it just reared its ugly head. She continued to listen to the conversation.

"Cap, have you ever noticed the sadness in Olivia's eyes when you look at her?" Elliot was looking squarely and seriously at the captain who was suddenly as soft as freshly dried clothes.

"Yes, sometimes, during certain cases, I notice she doesn't have the same spark, but..." "Captain, I am with Liv, twelve to twenty hours a day. Its more than just occasional, and its more than just during certain cases. It a constant pain that she has." Elliot stared at the ground. "Nothing I've done has been enough to make her feel comfortable enough to open up to me. The doctors told me there was some scaring on her stomach..."

Olivia dropped the phone in her lap, she starred in shock, "He knows" she spoke out loud, "Oh no, he knows." She picked up the phone again and held down one number producing a loud obnoxious noise. "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa."

"What's that?" The captain began searching the room with his eyes.

"That noise, Elliot, you hear that?" The captain looked at himself

Elliot realized it was his phone. He reached in and pulled it out. It was still beeping.

"Hello? Hello who is this." Elliot was too tired for what was happening.

"Its your mother Elliot." A shaken voice came from the other side...it was Olivia.

It occurred to Elliot that he pushed the wrong button to hang the phone up and she heard everything. She knew Elliot had been poking around in her business. Elliot was shocked he couldn't move.

"I never want to see you again Elliot." Olivia said as she hung up the phone.

"Olivia... err... Mom, stay right there I'll be there as soon as I can." Elliot turned to the Captain,

" I am sorry sir, but I have an emergency, I have to go. Thank you for bringing my bag but I seriously have to go NOW!" Elliot was running around his apartment gathering keys and such.

"Don't think were done with this conversation Elliot" Don told him.

"Wouldn't dream of it Captain." Elliot smirked as he and the Captain walked out of the apartment.

"Need a ride to your mom's?" Don asked

"My mom's? Huh..Oh no, no I'll be fine thanks though." Elliot and Don separated and Elliot climbed into his car racing to Olivia's.


	9. Chapter 9 My ego needs Ice

As soon as Olivia hung up the phone with Elliot she grabbed a duffel bag out of her closet and filled it with various clothing and necessities she would need to spend the night somewhere else. She finished gathering her attire and walked out of her apartment. As she turned the corner of her apartment and headed for the elevator she thought of Elliot. Suddenly the elevator door opened. When Olivia looked up she saw him standing there right in front of her.

"Liv, we need to talk." He was entirely seriously

"What's there to talk about Elliot? Oh, I know, maybe we should start by talking about you not trusting me to come to you when I was ready, or maybe we should talk about your betrayal of me, by snooping around in my personal business." Olivia was clearly angry. The doors to the elevator began to close so Elliot stuck his arm between him allowing enough time for him to step out of the elevator.

"Olivia: I love you so mu..." Elliot was cut off by something other than Olivia's words. There was something about hearing him say he loved her, something about him knowing and still loving that enraged her. Before she could calm down she balled her fist and swung at Elliot. Her fist collided with his lip. Elliot's head snapped back the opposite direction, throwing him off balance and onto the floor.

"Okay, alright, Liv, I deserved that. Now can we talk? Please?." Elliot stood to his feet and looked at a clearly shaken Olivia. She stood there with her right arm folded as her other hand covered her bowed face.

" I am sorry." she whispered. "Would you like to come in and put some ice on that?" She didn't wait for a reply, instead she gathered her belongings and began walking to her apartment door.

"Only, if you have enough ice for my ego too." Elliot was trying to ease the situation, but was also half serious. Guys had hit him and it did far less damage then her love tap did. "Where did you learn that liv?" He asked as they walked in to her apartment.

"Karate class...ten years now...no one knows, I'd like to keep it that way if you don't mind." She smirked at him.

"Hey no problem here, I suppose that explains those submission holds you love to put perps in but when you kick Munch's butt, let me watch, I can make a lot of money off of others not knowing." Elliot was smiling as she handed him an ice pack from the freezer. He put it on his face and grimaced at first. He sat down on the couch and called out to Olivia. "Liv, please come and sit with me, let's talk this through." Elliot made room for her to sit next to him. She sat down and Elliot couldn't help but notice she was shaking. He wondered if that was because of what was about to happen or if it was from her laying him out in the hallway.

"Your right Liv, I should have waited for you to tell me. When the doctors told me about your scar though, they were accusing you of doing it to yourself. I knew you couldn't do that so I starting poking around. I had no right, I am so sorry, please forgive me. If you can find room for forgiveness ple..." Olivia cut him off.

" I am glad you know. It's a load off. I wanted to tell you so many times but I thought you would leave me." Olivia was facing Elliot but she couldn't look at him, not eye to eye, not after knowing that he knew.

"What all do you know El?" She asked ready to expose to light, the areas that were dark to him.

"Just what's in this file...Liv?" Elliot couldn't bring himself to say it. "What?" She whispered. "You were a virgin weren't you?" He asked her. She lowered her head and noded yes. "I wanted to wait untilI was married." she was trembling more.Elliot grabbed the folded file from his jacket and handed it to her. "I know they never caught him." Olivia shook her head no, she was fighting back tears "I am sorry Liv." "Olivia took the files from Elliot and stared at the cover knowing full well that everything she hid from the world was summed up in two files.

"Liv, open it." He reached out and held her hand "I'm not going anywhere." Olivia had never seen the contents of these files, she never wanted anything to remember the rape by, but here it was, right in front of her. She took a deep breath and opened the hospital report. The doctor report did a good job on the summary. Vaginal tearing, torn hymen multiple stab wounds...stitches...head trauma...rape kit...rape kit?

"They did a rape kit?" She questioned out loud.

"You don't remember?" Elliot asked.

"No, I was admitted unconscious from the loss of blood." She looked at Elliot, "If there's a rape kit...there's DNA evidence. I could find him Elliot." She stared at him, "I can find him." She repeated.

"Are you sure you want to? The statute of limitations is up, what would it do for you to find him Liv?" He wanted her to think the whole situation through before she subjected herself to more pain and possible let down.

"Elliot, my mother was raped by my father, they never found him, they never found the man who did this to me. I need some type of closure, it's ruining my life. Please understand me." Her eyes were filling with tears, but this time she did not look away. "Elliot, the statues of limitations are up for the rape, not the attempted murder...he left me there to die El." She was crying now, silently, but nonetheless she was finally crying.

Elliot had been so preoccupied by the rape that he hadn't stopped to think that Olivia almost died. That bastard had left her there bound and bleeding to death.

"What's the police report say?" He asked. '_Its pretty thin, not a lot of leads_' he thought to himself.

She opened up the file and flipped through the detective's notes. Her eyes came to the crime scene photos. It was incredibly painful for her, when she looked at the pictures memories flooded back. The blood on the bed, the handcuffs still on the headboard, the gag still lying on the bed. The gag. Olivia stared at that gag.

"Elliot, this looks familiar to me, I've seen it somewhere." She showed him the picture.

"Liv, maybe it looks familiar because you are now seeing for the first time what he used."

"Yeah, maybe...but I remember it vaguely from the attack... I think Iv had enough for now." She closed the files and put them on the coffee table.

It was almost four O'clock in the morning and Olivia was exhausted. She had to get up early for work, which reminded her...

"Elliot, you still haven't told me about your family what's wrong? She asked as she laid her head on his chest.

"Liv,..."he paused "There was no emergency, I wanted to spend some time, looking for the guy who hurt you. I am sorry I lied to you... I am so sorry." Elliot began to cry silently as he gently squeezed Olivia in his arms.

" I forgive you" She said as she closed her eyes for rest. "But guess what?" She asked

"What?" he was curious as to what form of punishment she would ask for so that he could be reconciled to her.

"You have to go to work now detective Stabler." She said facetiously as she fell asleep.

" Spending the day with you, isn't work, its what I look forward to." He told her as he pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and laid it over them. They slept there for the one-hour they had left before work. For Elliot he was happy just to be close with her, he almost lost her and he didn't want to ever lie to her again. For her, it was the most peaceful sleep since the attack.


	10. Chapter 10 It's not what it looks like

RRRRIIIIIINNNNNGGGGG.

"Liv, honey – your pager is hollering at you." Elliot looked at the woman who was asleep virtually on top of her. Olivia had fallen asleep in his arms while they laid on the couch.

" How do you know its mine?" She asked playfully

"Because i haven't called the cap and told him I was coming in so..." Olivia jerked up and grabbed the pager.

"Yep me, got to go. I hate that your playing hooky today." She told him.

"Why? I am gonna be working anyway, I'll just do it from my apartment." He told her as he stood up from the couch and pulled her close to him.

"I have to take a shower." She told him softly "I am gonna be late" Elliot smiled at her and kissed her lightly on the lips. "Come back as soon as you can and well have dinner." Elliot told her.

"Absolutely." She replied seductively and retreated into the bathroom.

Elliot retreated to the kitchen and prepared a small breakfast for Olivia, knowing she rarely gets the opportunity to eat a good breakfast, and he rarely gets to cook it anymore but he wanted her to know that he was hers and he would do anything for her. Just as he slid her over easy eggs onto a plate she emerged from the bathroom. Damp hair, perfect makeup and oh man, that sexy skin.

"Wow, breakfast again? A girl could get us to this." She told him as she poured her coffee. He put the eggs between two toasted pieces of bread and wrapped it in a paper towel handing it to her.

He stood in front of her and held her hand. "Liv, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I'll wait forever if I have too." She looked intently at him and responded after a short pause.

" I have to go, I'll see you tonight." With that she walk out the door.

Elliot didn't even wait to hear her lock the door from the outside. He walked straight to the pantry and pulled the evidence box out. He placed it on the coffee table and and grabbed the manila envelope from the box.

"Elliot?" it was Olivia, she had come back and was standing less than ten feet from him. He was so consumed with this box he hadn't heard her come back in.

"Olivia?" Elliot was absolutely dumbfounded. "This is not what it looks like." He began to stammer.

"Really Elliot, cause I got to tell you it looks a lot like you went into my pantry, pulled out an evidence box and went through it with out my permission. Did I miss something detective Stabler?" She cocked her head and folded her arms in front of him.

There were two things in life that Elliot hated. One was when Olivia called him detective Stabler in that tone that said she was about to shove her boot in sensitive areas. The other was when she struck that pose that said give me a reason why I shouldn't shove my boot in sensitive areas.

"Liv, I know I should have asked." He was walking over to her.

"You bet your butt you should have asked." She was angry, her vain was popping out of her forehead and she was clenching her jaw.

"Liv, you got to let me in baby, you have got to let me help you figure this out. Please!" Elliot's emotions were filling him to the brim. Olivia softened as she saw the tears flow from his eyes. She had never actually seen him cry. She walked over to him and placed her hands on his cheek. He was looking down, avoiding her glance. He felt like a failure for betraying her but he didn't know how to help her. She forced him to look at her.

" I love you Elliot." She whispered to him softly and took his hand. She led him back to the coffee table and they sat on the couch.

" Why did you come back this morning?" Elliot asked her.

"Apparently the case that I was called in on went immediately to the FBI. Cragen told me that I would be on call I couldn't argue with that, not when I have you waiting for me." She told him. Olivia leaned over to the evidence box and began to pull out various items. Elliot grabbed the manila envelope again and asked her why she had not opened it.

"I came to a place where I just accepted that they would never find my father. The box use to always be at the foot of my bed, when I couldn't sleep, I reviewed it. After, I gave up on it, I put it in the pantry on the bottom shelf but out of site did not mean out of mind". Olivia paused and then took a deep breath and continued. "I never opened up the envelope, its crime scene photos. I couldn't see my mother like that, but I think now its time." Olivia took the envelope from Elliot and opened it spilling the photos on the table. She flipped through them, at first they were standard pictures, indicating scale of injuries and so forth, then pictures of devices used in the crime had been photographed individually. Olivia flipped through and then gasped stopping immediately.

"Oh my goddness...Elliot" Olivia's chin started to tremble.

"What, let me see, what is it?" Elliot asked as he viewed the picture. "I don't understand its her shirt Liv." Elliot was clearly confused.

"El...where's my file? Wheres the file with my crime scene photos?" She got up looking frantically around the apartment, Elliot handed them to her and asked again what the matter was.

"Elliot, they're the same look!" She said as she thrust the picture from her crime scene. It was a picture of the gag her rapist used to keep her silent.

"Liv...your mother's shirt...was your gag?" He asked dazed.

"El, this means that...my mother's rapist...my father...raped me?" Olivia's knees gave out and she collapsed where she stood.

Elliot kneeled next to her and took her into his arms as she sobbed uncontrollably. Elliot had never seen her cry like this. He was greatfull that she finally allowed her armor to be penetrated but he was also enraged that she had to feel this. He held her tightly.

"Sweetheart, we don't know that they are one in the same, we can't confirm it." Elliot was grasping for straws he didn't know what to do so he continued to hold her tightly and it was there on the floor of her apartment that the two sat and cried together.


	11. Chapter 11 Road to Redemption

"LaRue?" Elliot was walking out of Olivia's bedroom. She had fallen asleep in his arms from the tremendous amount of sobbing she had done. Elliot had picked her up and laid her on her bed leaving a note next to her that read.

"Hey sexy: I love to watch you sleep but I have gone to investigate this matter a bit further. Call me when you awake if you need me. I love you more than you know. 'El'"

"Yeah hey is this Elliot?" LaRue asked

"Yeah, look I need another favor. Olivia and I found a connection between her rape and the rape of her mother." Elliot said as he started down the freeway.

"What? How could there be a connection, your talking about two decades of time between the two." LaRue was confused

"Look all I know is Iam bringing you two pictures, one from Olivia's rape and one from her mother Serena's. They have the same item in them." Elliot told him " I need your best lab tech on this, I'll be there shortly." Elliot hung up the phone and continued his drive.

"Rue? Got that labtech?" Elliot said as he opened the door.

"Absolutely, follow me." LaRue led him to the lab where is was greeted by a young man maybe 28 or 29.

Detective Stabler" LaRue began. "This is Ryan Lancer our best labtech here. He is knee high to a grasshopper but his record is out of this world." LaRue finished the introduction "Ryan this is Detective Stabler, what were doing here today is a matter of utmost confidentiality and if you don't want to help thats okay, but if you do, you will have a lot of eternally greatful people on your hands." LaRue knew Ryan was straight laced by the book but he hoped he would bend today.

"Don't give me names or details, I don't want to know anything imperative about the case, promise me that much and I'll do it." Ryan said hesitantly

"Absolutley" Elliot quipped and handed him the pictures

"Okay" LaRue said

Elliot began to explain "One picture is from one crime scene and the other from one about twenty years later, I need to know if this gag came from this shirt. The way the shirt is photographed you can't tell if it has a piece missing. I need to know. " Elliot looked at Ryan seriously. "Can you do this?" He askd

"Please dude, I thought you were asking for a hard task or something, this is childs play, I could have had my pet monkey do this." Ryan said sarcastically.

Elliot was loosing his cool, but knew he shouldn't bite the hand that was feeding him. Ryan placed the picture from Serena Benson's rape under a high powered microscope and compared it to the picture from Olivia's.

"Oh yeah, definatly one in the same detective." Ryan said with utter confidence

"Are you absolutely sure Ryan?" Elliot asked, he thought he made his conclusions a little to soon.

"Absolutly Ryan responded, here see for yourself. Ryan motioned for Elliot to look through the microscope.

"What am I looking at Ryan" Elliot asked as he looked into the microscope.

"See how the fabric of the shirt is laying, zoom in and you can see that there is no bottom on the left side of the shirt. Your seeing the front but immediately underneath is the table that the shirt is photographed on." Ryan continued. "Now look at lable of the shirt it's 100 cotton." Ryan was smiling at the fact that he solved whatever this case was. Hower, the smile faded when Elliot spoke.

"Well all that tells me is that a cotton shirt was ripped, which may be consistant with the fact that she was raped." Elliot spoke frusterated.

"Well, hold your horses there Mr. Grumpy dwares." Ryan spoke and then continued with his instruction. "Look at the picture from the gag. Not only is it the same length as the missing piece but it has a tent of yellow on it and it is one hundred percent cotton and contains shavings of plastic." Ryan stopped when Elliot looked at him.

"The piece of cloth was stored in a plastic bag which causes discoloration of cotton." Elliot spoke tensly his eyes narrowed. "Oh no, Liv, I don't want to have to tell her this." He spoke aloud.

"Olivia? I am here, I need to talk to you." Elliot walked into her bedroom after receiving no response. She was still asleep and Elliot knew she needed her rest, especially for what he was about to drop in her lap.

Elliot returned to the coffee table and sat in front of the box. The box that was systematically dystroying the love of his life. He pulled out copies of the detectives notes and, overcome with emotion, burried his head in his hands and began to weep. He was beginning to understand what a torent of pain Olivia had been carring all of these years.

The sound of Elliot weeping in the livingroom woke Olivia. She walked out of her room and saw Elliot sitting on the couch, his back to her crying. She walked to him slowly and sat next to him.

"Elliot? Talk to me. Whats hurting you?" She searched his face putting her pain away and focusing on him.

"Olivia, I don't ever want to hurt you, I would never do it, but what I have to tell you is gonna tare you apart. I can only offer you my arms as a safe landing. Know that I love you." Elliot kneeled down to Olivia and looked her squarely in her eyes as he held her hands. "Olivia, whoever raped your mother, may have been the one that raped you."

Olivia shook her head in acknowledgement and even as tears began to stream she continued to listin. "I had the photographs analyzed and its been confirmed by a top lab tech." Elliot continued "The fabric is the same." He stopped.

"El, I knew as soon as I saw those photos and saw the same fabric." she paused "It hurts, and it's tearing me up knowing my own father raped me. But I know that with you by my side, I have a fighting chance to conquer this." Elliot looked at her in shock. This was the first time she expressed hope that she had a future to fight for.

Elliot and Olivia sat outside on the balcony eating hoagies that Elliot bought from the corner vender. They were cops and they enjoyed a good hoagie. As Elliot opened Olivia's bottle of water, she started to brain storm the recently found connection.

"Elliot, the thing I don't understand is that when he attacked me, I could have sworm he was in his forties. Which would have meant he would have had to be very young when he raped my mother." She expressed her concern to him.

"Liv, in the box, the detective notes described them talking to a young man, a next door neighbor, he was about 16 to 18 maybe." Elliot was still chewing his food, he swallowed hard and flipped to the correct page of the file and showed it to her. Olivia stared at the name and description intently. "Victor Lias, 16, white, reported the crime." Olivia closed the file and placed it on the table.

"Elliot, since it was a rape and attempted murder, the physical evidence would still be in storage, and according to the police report on my case, there is a rape kit in storage..." She paused to take a breath when Elliot completed her thought.

"If there was DNA on the shirt and the gag, and we can match it to Victor Lias, then we've got him Liv." Elliot looked at her with compassionate hope. "Liv, we can get him." He told her again holding her hand.

"Lets go get him." She told him as a single tear dove from her eye. Olivia was on the road to redemption.


	12. Chapter 12 Her name is Olivia

Captain Cragen sat in his office leaned back in his chair looking at the picture of him, Elliot and Olivia that he kept on his desk from a previous christmas part. He was worried sick about Olivia and he thought to himself_ "What do I do? I don't want her to know that I know but I love her as if she were my own child, I want her be able to have someone to protect her. What do I do?"_

"Cap you got a sec?" Olivia asked as she knocked on his office door.

The Captain looked up at Olivia who looked serious. "Absolutely what'dya got Liv?" Cragen asked, hoping his face wasn't showing the worry, angst and frustration he was feeling right now. Olivia closed the door, and the shade and sat down in the wooden chair opposite the Captain.

"Sir, I want to re-open an old case from 1995, I've found a connection with a cold case rape from 1974. Were talking rape and attempted murder sir." Olivia's leg was trembling and she did not look at the Captain. She thought of him as a father and she knew this was going to hurt him.

"If you feel you have tangible leads, be my guest, what's the pertinent information?" Don asked as he reached for a legal pad and pen.

Olivia paused and cleared her throat, holding back tears. She didn't want to say it but she had to in order to utilize valuable resources the state had.

"Liv… the victim's name please." Don asked looking at her expectantly, he knew she was having a hard time so he didn't mind nudging her along.

" Serena Benson. Rape. Impregnated by her attacked in 1974. Refused to abort the child." Olivia looked down, her chin trembling. She would not cry, this was just another case, where she didn't get to pick the vic. "The victim died in an unrelated accident, we're not seeking charges for her rape, the statues has ran out obviously, but there is evidence from her crime scene that leads us to believe her rape is connected to the rape and attempted murder of another woman." Olivia stopped. The lump in her throat felt like she just swallowed the largest mammal in the world.

"Liv?" Cragen asked "Are you telling me you think you may have found your mother's rapist?" Cragen leaned back in his chair. "I didn't know you were ivestigating it." Cragen said manipulating his pencil.

"Its never left my mind sir." Olivia replied

"Okay, open up your mother's case but how does that connect to this other victim? Whom I'll need a name for?" Cragen asked in a matter of fact way. He had no idea what he was about to step into.

"The evidence from my mother's rape leads us to a 1995 case. As I said, rape and attempted murder. The attacker was never found but the same material was found at both crime scenes. We like a perp for it." Olivia paused

"Care to enlighten an old man Liv?" Cragen asked

"Timothy Lias" He called in the rape of my mother and he matches the description of the '95 rape." She looked down again, her legs were out of control and she was starting to grind her teeth. It was a tall tale sign that she was loosing her composure. "So Cap? What do you say can I open it?" She asked trying to sound normal.

"Absolutely" The captain responded. Olivia tried to leave the office without giving a name of the last victim but Cragen stopped her before she could escape her impending humiliation.

"Liv?" He spoke louder. "Come on, I need to know the name of the vic for my paperwork." He looked at her

Olivia looked down at the tan linoleum and back at Captain Cragen. The victim's name is Olivia Benson, the daughter of Serena Benson. She turned the door knobb and left before he could say anything.

Captain Cragen sat in his office his eyes filled with tears. He picked up the phone and dialed.

"Jacobs, this is Cragen…I calling in a huge favor." Cragen said. He was going to do anything to help Olivia, even if it meant putting his career on the line.

"Liv? Are you okay?" Elliot asked her "You look peeked." He told her.

"Elliot, I told Cragen." She looked down staring at the balcony's railing of her apartment. The wind was cool so Elliot and her came out to discuss their new case.

"Liv, I wish you would have told me, I would have went with you." Elliot told her, happy she had let someone else know but confused as to why.

"El, I was sitting at my desk this morning and I was thinking that there would be no way we could access the resources we needed to catch Lias. We would have had to lie to everyone here." Olivia paused. "My whole life has been spent covering up what happened to me, constantly lying. I love Munch and Fin like my brothers, Casey like a sister. I can't keep adding to that. The attack is enough." Olivia was looking at Elliot. "He granted us full permission to research both cases El." She told him. Elliot was now, completely confidant that this woman that he was looking at was the strongest woman he had ever met.


	13. Chapter 13 She never took it off

"Benson my office." Cragen shouted as he walked into the squad room heading for his office.

"What? No Good morning?" She replied jokingly.

"Now Benson!" He hollard again.

"_Ah man what did I do this time_." She thought to herself.

Olivia found herself in the same chair as yesterday. The same circumstances applied only this time Cragen pulled the blinds and shut the door.

"Whats going on Cap?" She asked bewildered, she couldn't understand the tone she was taking with him. She hadn't been at work long enough to do anything wrong.

"Liv, don't worry about the yelling. I am in no way upset, but I don't want people asking you questions because I asked to speak with you privately, especially with Munch here. His conspiracy theory would have been in the next edition of the New Munch Times." Cragen joked and offered coffee.

"Well captain, I may have to change my pants now, but thanks for the consideration." She chuckled.

"Liv I wanted to talk to you about yesterday." Cragen said. Olivia stiffened up in her chair and stared into her coffee, noticing her reflection. She noticed she looked fifteen years older than she did two months ago.

"Okay, whats up." She tried to sound normal.

" I need to know if Elliot knows?" Cragen asked

Taken off guard she replied, "He's my partner sir, I confided in him. Yes." She answered unsure of the consequences.

"Liv, I am not here as Captain Cragen, I am here as Don. No formalities for now." He told her walking to the door.

"Sir..err Don I…" Just then Cragen opened the door "Stabler, my office now!" Olivia cringed at the increased decibel level and grew increasingly nervous. "_Does he know about Elliot and I_?" She thought "_Oh crap, here it goes, right in the fan_." Olivia sunk into the chair as Elliot walked in. "_What the heck is going on, he didn't tell me he was coming in today." _

"Weasel" she mumbled

"Whats that Liv?" Elliot asked

"Hm? O nothing just surprised to see you here, how was your family situation." She looked at him as he sat down

"Good." He started "Everything's taken care of and th…" Elliot was cut off

"Oh can the crap you two. What's it been now, one and a half two years you've been seeing each other now?" Cragen looked at them with a look that caused both of them to speak simultaneously.

"Sir, were not sleeping…err…seeing each other." She protested

" Yeah, _Olivia_? I'd have to be nuts," Elliot responded smirking. Olivia shot him a glance that said "Guard the sensitive areas buddy."

"Stop the bull crap you two, I know, I've known for the last year and your ring doesn't provide a way out now does it Olivia." Cragen asked gesturing to the ring she had on her left hand.

"_Oh crap_" She thought, "_I forgot I was wearing it_." she looked at Elliot who was ironically smiling. "_She never took it off. She wants to marry me. But oh man are we in a sling._" His mind was racing. Could he make his mortgage on unemployment? Would Olivia want to be with an unemployed cop?

"Don't freak out, if I wanted your badges, I would have had them already. But just because I know doesn't mean anyone else has to. I'd appreciate my butt not being on the barbecue. Got me." Cragen asked making sure everyone was in agreement.

"Now, with that out of the way, lets talk about the elephant in the room shall we?" Cragen walked over and took an envelope out of his jacket pocket that was hanging on his coat rack. He returned to his seat. "I am giving you two a special assignment, the only people who know are those in this room. Munch and Fin will be taking over your case load and we're borrowing Cassidy and Jefferies from narcotics for as long as we need them."

Olivia and Elliot were stuck like deer in headlights. "Sir, whats going on?" Elliot asked.

"Elliot, your not the only one with connections and _LaRue_ is not the definative source for evidence." Cragen looked at Elliot.

"LaRue?" Olivia looked at Elliot "Whats he got to do with this?" she was confused

" Nothing, go on Cap, whats the assignment?" Elliot tried to dodge that bullet. He didn't want Liv to know that he went to a mutual friend for her case files. Besides, he promised LaRue. How did Cragen know? "_The man is good_" Elliot thought to himself.

Take this envelope. It will provide you with the information needed to collect every piece of evidence and information, to solve your case, addresses, names, phone numbers, weather or not they pick their nose." Cragen looked at his two best detectives.

"Sir, you still haven't said what you want." Olivia was trying to make since of this. Was he just trying to occupy her so she didn't focus to much on her own case. Since he knew about her and Elliot was he providing time alone for them. What was the deal here she wondered.

"I want you to use every resource available to apprehend Timothy Lias. I don't care what lengths you go through to find him, jump through hoops if you have to. But your gonna find him and bring him in. Then were gonna nail is ass to the wall Liv." He finished his instruction looking at Olivia. She couldn't believe it. He was putting his career on the line by giving Olivia unrestricted time, and access to investigate her own case.

"Sir can you do that?" She asked tears of gratitude welling within her.

"Probably not, however, I called in a favor for that information, and I will continue calling in favors until I have exhausted them." He continued "Olivia, you never sleep for your victims. Its our turn to never sleep for you. Let me do the political worrying now you two just go and do what you know how to do. What you do best." They all three stared at one another knowing that the minute Olivia opened that envelope everyone's career was on the line.

As they walked out the door Cragen spoke up again "Liv?" He smiled at her as she turned around "The ring." He reminded her. She slipped it off and placed it on her right hand. It would be known in the squad room as the ring willed to her after her mother died. Out side it would be known as the ring that the only man she ever loved gave to her.


	14. Chapter 14 Treasure in the sea

"Pass the pizza box will ya?" Olivia asked him as they sat on the floor both staring at the envelope Cragen had given them.

"You gonna open it?" He asked as he handed her the pizza box.

"I don't want to be responsible for your careers El" She replied somberly

"Fine" Elliot said reaching for the envelope. "Then I'll open it." He slid his pocketknife under the sealed flap and cut it open. Olivia froze.

"There ya go, responsibility is mine…Liv?…What's wrong?" Elliot had the pocket knife in his right hand along with the paper he pulled form the envelop. The blade was still out and he was unintentionally waving it too close to Liv who was as stiff as a board. He realized her eyes were tracing the movement of the knife. He quickly retracted the blade and pocketed it. Wishing he didn't pull it out in the first place.

" I am sorry Liv, I had my head up my a-" She cut him off.

"Its okay, its fine, you were just so close, I am sorry, I froze." She stood up and retreated to the couch pulling her legs into her chest. She rested her elbow on the arm of the couch and her head on the palm of her hand. Elliot stood retreieveing the blanket form the back of the couch and draped it over them both as he sat next to her.

"You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for Liv. Want to talk about it? He asked gently

"I thought he was going to kill me El, I thought I was going to die." She blurted

"But you didn't die, you're here with me, today Liv." Elliot shifted his body so that Olivia could lay her head in his lap. She was comfortable thinking in this position. They brainstormed cases time and again as she lay there rested on a pillow in his lap his arms protecting her from the world.

"I was coming home from my last class at the academy. I had some range work to do the next week and then I would graduate." Her voice was solid, not quivering, she was trying to distance herself from the emotion. "I felt a wave of sickness come over me when I was openig up my door. I know now God was trying to warn me not to go in." She paused for awhile.

"Iam right here Liv, you don't have to be afraid anymore. Let it out." He reassured her as he stroked her hair lightly. She continued " I was hit from behind, he brought me to with smelling salts." She took a breath and shifted her head on the pillow. The pillow smelled like Elliot she thought. "He raped me 'El' it seemed like a long time but I don't think it was. He made me call him daddy." Her body stiffened and she began to tremble. She was on her left side laying across his lap facing away from him, but he knew the agony that must have been on her face.

"I guess it makes since now, why he made me do that. He had been following me. He mentioned things that I had done the night before, but now that I know it wasn't a random act, I am certain he has been following me all my life." She took a deep breath. "I thought it was over when he got off of me, but then he picked up the knife again." Olivia cried and buried her head into the pillow. When she resurfaced to finish her story Elliot kissed her on her head. "You don't have to talk anymore if you don't want Liv." he whispered

"No, El its time. Its been 11 years. Its time." Exughsted she took another breath. "He told me he wanted to give me something to remember me by. He called me love bug. Like a father would call to his child."

As the night went on Olivia continued her story. "He started cutting into my stomach. I didn't know what he was cutting, but it hurt so bad I kept moving. He started to slash me all over my chest. When he was done with his 'master piece' he put his cigarette out on my stomach. I had passed out and woke up in the hospital. The neighbor heard my muffled crys and called the ambulance. Because I was done with the classroom stages and only had to take my shooting test they let me graduate with the next classfrom the academy. Thats why it took me two months longer" She paused " I am ugly El" she began to sob quietly and Elliot did something he knew was either going to make or break their relationship. He shifted his hand from hair and followed her body down to her waist and abdomen.

"Olivia, your not ugly, you're the most beautiful person, I know. Your heart is as big as one can get. There is nothing ugly about you Liv." He placed his hand under her white shirt.

"No please Elliot" She said holding his hand at bay. She turned her body to look at him.

"Elliot, I am damaged, used, sunk in the ocean." She still held his hand.

"The biggest treasures are at the bottom of the sea." He told her. Her grasp loosened slightly but still did not allow permission for him to explore her hurt.

"Olivia…I love you." Elliot told her softly but sternly. She removed her hand from his giving him permission to touch her. He did not look at the scars but held direct eye contact with her. He traced the scars with his fingers under her shirt. Her body was a battle ground, a 'no man's land'. He explored her body softly. He could feel the rise and fall of her body, she was breathing hard, paniced. She turned her gaze from him has his hand brushed against the burns.

"Look at me Liv." He told her, still touching her. She hesitantly looked into his eyes "I will never hurt you. I will never leave you, and you will never be used goods to me."

He withdrew his hand from her shirt and kissed her cheek. Her tears pooled around his lips, he moved down her neck gently, not wanting to capitalize on her emotions, he just wanted to let her know that he loved every corner of her body, no matter what she thought of it.


	15. Chapter 15 The devil is in the DNA

"Liv wake up, we need to be somewhere." Elliot ran into his own bedroom where Olivia was asleep in his bed. He had camped out on the couch looking over the information Cragen provided.

"Huh? What time is it?" She sleepily asked

"5:OO am" He told her jumping in the shower.

"Five O'clock, that's sac religious" She protested as she got out of the bed and remade it. She figured Elliot probably hadn't made the bed last night… or the night before so she would help him out, plus she couldn't just leave the bed unmade after she got out of it.

"Where could we possibly be going so early in the morning?" She asked putting toothpaste on her toothbrush. Elliot pulled back the shower curtain enough to show his face. "To pick up evidence. The envelope cragen gave us set up appointment times for us to pick up evidence from some storage facilities." She looked at him as she brushed her teeth. "Were picking up your rape kit, the gag and shirt." He told her washing his hair with one hand and holding the curtin with the other. "Were taking it down for DNA testing Liv. Were gonna get the bastard." He said snapping back the curtain and rinsing his hair. Olivia finished washing her mouth out and dabbed her lips.

"But El, even if we get a match, we don't have his DNA to match it to." She told him. Elliot stepped out of the shower; covered waist down with a towel. This was actually the first time she had seen his body. "_Wow, that's an impressive upper body I wonder what they lower…oh shut up Olivia._" She told her self, trying not to stare. Her heart was racing and her face was flush.

"Wrong Liv." Elliot said

"What do you mean? " Olivia asked. She knew of no evidence that could provide a match.

"We have you." Olivia knew Elliot was right. Mitochondria DNA can prove she was the descendant of the man who raped her mother. She was the daughter of the man who raped her. It would be enough for a warrant.

"Showers all yours" Elliot smiled. He knew standing in a towel, in front of her was making her blush, but he couldn't help it he loved to see her blush. Olivia gathered up her clothes and waited for Elliot to exit. Olivia stood in front of the mirror that showed her entire body. She undressed for the first time unafraid of what she saw in the mirror.


	16. Chapter 16 At first glance

"Well, here we are." Elliot put the car in park "Ready to do this Liv." He asked her as she looked at the grey precinct building. "Absolutely" She said as she got out of the vehicle. Olivia and Elliot entered the precinct building and asked for a man by the last name Jacobs. After sitting in an interrogation room a man came in with a single sheet of paper in his hand.

"You must be detectives Benson and Stabler" He said. His voice was deep. He was a tall man, almost dwarfing Elliot. He was stern.

"I want you to know that there would be no way in God's green earth that I would do anything like this for anyone else besides Cragen. Even he had to twist my arm. Which ever one of you is Benson, he loves you like a child. He told me that and it swayed me to help. Take this down to the evidence room, since it has my signature they won't require anything from you. I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about this. I am putting my neck on the chopping block here." He looked at them and smiled "Don't you have a case to solve detectives?" with that he turned and walked out of the room.

Olivia looked at Elliot, "Lets go." They walked out of the interrogation room and got on an elevator en route to the evidence room. "Elliot?" she spoke up, "Yeah?" he replied reading the sheet he had been given by Jacobs. " Thank you for seeing me for who I am and not my circumstance." She lowered her head. "Liv," he said "raising her chin, I never saw you as anything less that the woman who stole my heart at first glance." He told her.

"At first glance?" She asked skeptically. "I bet you don't even remember what I was wearing." She challenged him. The elevator bell rang and the door opened at their stop, Elliot walked out first with Olivia directly behind her. As they walked down the hall he told her.

" Black leather jacket, custom made to your form, the deepest blue form fitting shirt I have ever seen, below it, a white undershirt and of course those black Calvin Klein pants. A Massimo Belt, and your scent at that time was Sunflowers by Elizabeth Arden." Elliot continued walking smiling to himself but Olivia stopped dead in her tracks.

She was in shock. He described her right down to her belt. She watched him pick up the evidence box from the desk but could not move. Elliot returned to her "O and I forgot" he said as he pushed the call elevator button. "Doc Martin shoes, black of course, with black socks." He stepped in the elevator looking at her smugly "Did I get that right.?" He asked laughing as he held the box. Olivia stepped in the elevator and looked at him. She was blushing. She found a man that could make her blush. "Wow" was all she could tell herself. "Wow."


	17. Chapter 17 Well Mr Spaceman

CHAPTER 17

"Hi I am detective Benson, this is my partner detective Stabler, were here to pick up some evidence regarding a cold case we have a lead on." Olivia was doing that thing she did with cops when she had to finesse them. She wasn't flirting or flaunting, but there was something about her that put any man in a trance. Elliot wondered if she even knew the powers she possessed.

"Right, here you are, Commander Richardson already signed it out for you so your good to go." The young officer replied drunk with Olivia's presence. Elliot thought he would have to shine the kids shoes with all of the drool he had on them. It was small. She knew it was her rape kit. The uniform officer went to hand the box to Elliot when Olivia hurriedly intercepted it. "I'll ah I'll take this. Thanks though" she replied returning to the car Elliot in tow.

"You okay?" he asked

"Yeah, its just a little awkward, caring my own rape kit ya know?" she said. She took the top off and inspected the evidence. The doctor did a great job considering it was during a time when kits weren't required. He could have forgone it especially with all the trauma she had.

"Elliot, were gonna have to interview a lot of people aren't we?" she asked

"Yeah, you okay with that?" He asked her

"Yeah, I can handle it" She spoke aloud "I hope" She wondered to herself.

"This is the lab I went to in order to have your photos examined. The lab tech is a genius." Elliot was trying to reassure Olivia. She seemed to be getting nervous. Maybe it was having all of this new evidence that she could never track down herself. Maybe she knew this was going to be a long haul.

"Ryan whats happening my man?" Elliot greeted the lab tech

"I got another fun filled day for ya son." Elliot secretly enjoyed making quips about his age. Ryan chuckled to himself and responded "Well grandpa, I hope you brought me something worth solving this time." Ryan smiled softy, relishing the fact that he nailed Stabler in front of a very attractive woman.

"Hey Ryan?" Olivia asked "Where is LaRue?" Elliot stiffened.

"Man what is it with you New Yorkers, everyone's got a thing for LaRue. Must be the exotic name." He paused and continued "Well, Mr. Exotic man, told me to head up the lab while he was out and then he went on vacation…anything I can do for you?" he asked

"No, just old friends, I wanted to say hi." She told him. "Alright well are we ready for this?" she asked

"Absolutley whatdya got." Ryan was ready for a challenge

"I need you to match DNA from this gag, this shirt and this rape kit." Olivia told him.

"Okay, but what am I matching it too? The invisible man?" Ryan was being sarcastic

"Sort of, " Olivia continued " Your gonna match it to the blood sample you take out of my arm." She told him looking down at the evidence she laid at the counter.

Ryan looked up, knowing if he was matching the DNA to the rape kit and the Kit to her she was the victim.

" I am sorry Ms. Benson" Ryan spoke sympathetically surprising Elliot.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Ryan" She eased his concerns and pointed him back to the task at hand. "Lets get this ball rolling." She stuck out her arm. After Ryan took the blood sample her cataloged it with the rest of the material. I'll have the results for you in three days Ms. Benson.

"Three days?" Olivia was shocked. It normally took a month. "Why so soon?" She was curious

"Ms. Benson, you have been known to do lectures here and there correct?" Ryan asked

"Yeah why?" Both Elliot and Olivia stared at him

"I had the pleasure of sitting in on one. You have a passion about your job Ms. Benson. You're a special woman. This is my number one priority. Ms. Benson…three days, I promise." Ryan excused himself while Elliot walked with Olivia back out to the car and they headed back home.

Elliot and Olivia returned to his apartment with more paperwork to sift through. They sat down at the kitchen table and began to sift through the remaining evidence that they had in their possession. Elliot knew that Olivia was beat emotionally. She was tired and undoubtedly hungry. For a woman with her body she definatly ate for more than one person. Elliot smiled to himself as he continued in his own thoughts he watched her unpack the box of files she had in her hands.

"This woman is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. When will she trust me completely? Will she ever trust me completely?" He continued observing her. He tried hard to think of something her beauty compared to but he couldn't think of one. "Her lips he continued thinking to himself. "Her lips, the way they move, the way she bites her lower lip when she's in thought. I could look at those lips for my whole life, I could kiss them for eternity. I won..."

"Hello? Earth to Elliot?" He had been watching her so intently that he had not heard her calling his name.

"Sorry Liv, what were you saying?" he asked her.

"Well, Mr. Spaceman..." She joked with him as she walked over to him.

"I was asking what you wanted to have for dinner, I am exhausted and I am starving."She looked at him but for some reason when he looked back at her there was a different look about her. He didn't think she could get more beautiful than she already was but here she was, sexy as ever and for the first time Elliot found himself blushing in front of her.

"Elliot? Your blushing." She laughed "Whats the deal?" She took his hand playfully. Elliot took a deep breath and said "I've never seen someone so beautiful or so strong as you Olivia. Thank you for trusting me with your pain. Thank you for letting me into your world." Elliot was sweating and he couldn't figure out why. His heart pounded faster as Olivia stepped closer to him. She had her hands about his cheeks feeling the strength of his face. "I love you Elliot." She whispered as she merged her lips with his. They melted into one another's arms and Elliot walked her backwards until she was leaning against the counter. He was still kissing her softly, she moved her hand from his check down his body feeling his chest and abs. Elliot had his hand embracing the back of her head deepening their kiss. He felt her reaching for his belt.

"Liv?" Elliot broke the kiss. "Liv, I know you want to wait..." Elliot was breathing hard

"I know you have been waiting for me a long time you must be about to explode Elliot." She smiled at him

She raised a good point. " Liv, I love you and whats important to you, is important to me. I'll wait until our wedding night." He swallowed, looked down and closed his eyes, bringing Olivia to him, hugging her. Olivia was shocked, she had never been treated with this much respect. What man turns down sex she thought. Am I not attractive? Do I have bad breath? She thought to herself

"Your sexy and I want you, I've wanted to from day one. But I want what you want too." Elliot said. Answering her private thoughts.

"God, what did I do to deserve this man?" Olivia thought to herself " I can't loose him."

"Chinese again? She asked lightening the mood. "Yeah Chinese." They both laughed out loud as she picked up the phone and dialed.

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	18. Chapter 18 Eat the damn cookie

Chapter 18

As Olivia placed her dinner order she walked into Elliot's room still talking to the gentleman.

"Yes, please don't forget that fortune cookie." She reminded the man and hung up. Olivia took a few more minutes and then walked out into the dinning area where Elliot was studying files from the evidence box. Olivia passed behind him placing her hand on his shoulders and taking the seat directly across from him. She opened the file in front of her and let out a little laugh when she saw the expression on Elliot's face.

"Well, I take it you found my shirts without a problem." Elliot told her with a huge smile plastered across his face.

"Yeah, comfortable boxers too." She smiled back. Both Elliot and Olivia sat quietly across from one another reading page after page of old detective notes. Olivia moved her foot until she touched Elliot's. He had been tapping his pencil but stopped when he felt her. It was a moment of intense silence until a knock at the door caused them both to jump.

"Ah, dinner" Olivia announced. "Elliot can you take plates out to the balcony please. Paper, I don't want to do dishes." As she walked to the door.

She opened the door and spoke softly "Which cookie is it?" The young man held out a small plastic bag with a single cookie in it. "This one, it was hard to do it you know. I hope he appreciates the cookie." The delivery boy told her.

"So do I" Olivia whispered as she paid him from Elliot's wallet and closed the door.

Elliot and Olivia were nearing the end of their meal when she stood up and walked to the railing of the balcony. She loved Elliot's place, the view was captivating and relaxing. Olivia was shaking, nervous and trying not to break the cookie in her hand. Elliot finished his last bite of orange chicken and walked over to Olivia. He slipped his arms around her from behind and held her close, pressing his cheek into hers. Her scent was electrifying.

"I have something for you Elliot.'' she said, turning around to face him.

"What? You didn't have to..." Elliot stopped and smiled as Olivia held a fortune cookie in the palm of her hand.

"Oh no, I can't eat another thing" Stepping back and pushing the cookie away.

"Elliot, you have to eat this cookie." She said, her smile slightly fading.

"Liv, honey I am not built like you, I can't eat another..."

"Elliot..." Olivia interjected "Eat the damn cookie!" She wasn't smiling at all.

Elliot reluctantly took the cookie from her hand and mumbled, "Well, heres to indigestion and heart failure." He was being sarcastic. Elliot broke open the cookie and straightened the small paper inside.

"Whats your fortune Elliot?" She asked softly looking at him.

He looked up slowly at her. Tears in his eyes. "Read it to me El/" She whispered to him. A single tear fell from Elliot's eye as he spoke at a near whisper. "The woman in front of you would be honored to be your wife." Elliot was smiling, "You want to marry me Liv?" Elliot was looking at smiling ear to ear. "If you'll still have me." She smiled back at him. He kissed her softly on her lips. She placed one hand on his chest and the other on his face. Elliot separated his lips from hers and smiled looking into her eyes. "Your sneaky" he joked with her. "Yeah? Well..." Olivia looked back at him. "Next time you'll eat the damn cookie." Elliot and Olivia hugged each other while both smiled smiles that they had never smiled before. Olivia just made Elliot the happiest man alive and he would spend the rest of his life thanking her.


	19. Chapter 19 Must of been some kiss

Olivia was wakoned by the rude sounds of her cell phone. She fumbled around the nughtstand until her fingers recognized the shape in the dark.

"Benson." She mumbled

"Ms. Benson, your DNA tests are done. "The voice was familiare

"Ryan?" Olivia looked at the clock

"Ryan you do know it's four fourty in the morning?" Olivia could feel her body was exaughsted. The last several weeks felt like she's been riding an emotional rollercoaster. "I thought three days? What happened? How did you do it so fast?" She pelted him with questions.

"Ms. Benson," Ryan spoke, " I am sure they told you that I am a genius, but what they didn't tell you is that behind every good man theres a great woman...my wife works in the FBI crime lab. Brillant woman in her own right. Love her, one time sh..."

Olivia cut him off "Ryan? Should I remind you that its four forty in the morning?"

"Right, sorry. Ms. Benson, with what I am gonna tell you, our jobs are on the line. Meet me at the coffee house on 68th and 3rd at 8:00am. Bring Elliot." Ryan was ready to hangup when he spoke again, "Oh yeah, make sure one of you brings a wallet. Your buying. Bye." He hung the phone up and Olivia closed her cellphone ending the call. She took a deep breath "_Well, so much for beauty sleep_." she thought to herself.

Olivia walked out of the room still wearing Elliot's shirts and boxers she had previously stolen from his dresser. Elliot had pulled out the sofabed and was passed out. Olivia watched him as he slept deeply, he was wearing his boxers and an 'A' shirt. He had fallen asleep on his side allowing Olivia to look at him, she noticed he was smiling in his sleep. She smiled as she thought "What in the world is he dreaming about?" She gently laid next to him, careful not to wake him and while he didn't wake up he pulled her close to him wrapping his arms around her and hiding his head in the contours of her neck. "He's dreaming about me." She thought to herself as she smiled.

Olivia's cellphone was chirping only fortyfive minutes after she fell asleep. "Oh, cellphones are evil." She thought as she quickly answered trying not to wake Elliot who simply turned over and continued his sleep.

"Benson." She answered mid-yawn. "Okay...um I have to be somewhere at eight but yeah I am coming right now. She rescued her track pants from her bags and changed. She set the alarm for 6:15am to allow Elliot to get ready. Olivia placed a note next to is bed, kissed him on his lips and walked out.

Beep...Beep...Beep. Elliot jolted up at the sound of the alarm clock. "I didn't set..." he began to speak as he saw the note. He calmed the clocks angry cries and and read "Hey Dreamer: Went for a Run with Novak, meet me at the cafe on 68th and 3rd. P.S. Bring your wallet, your buying. "L"

Casey Novak was Olivia's best friend whom she ran with usually on a daily basis although she had missed the past few weeks due to the accident and emotinal hurt she's been experiencing.

"Dreamer? She saw me dreaming about her." He spoke aloud placeing the note back on the coffee table.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT NO MORE I CAN'T" Casey Novak said panting for air. "Why are you such a bundle of joy?" she asked Olivia.

Olivia stopped and bent over placing her hands on her knees mimicing Casey. "What do you mean?" She was trying to slow her breathing. Both of them sat down on the grassy knoll catching their breath.

"Come on Liv- I practically have to drag your carcass around the park every since weve been running and today your like Clark Kent on speed. What gives girl? What the hell are you running from?" She was looking at Olivia with a look that said "Spill it."

Olivia took a deep breath "Casey – I've been keeping something from you... theres this guy." Olivia paused trying to feel out.

"Right- Elliot, how is he anyway?" Novak asked

"What? Eli...Stabl...huh? We'er not um." Olivia was teetering, about to fall from her verbal cliff when Casey interrupted.

"Come on Olivia- we've been best friend for what three years now? I see you play footsies with him..."

"I am stretching my legs" Olivia protested

"Right" Novak started "And your just being a servant of the community when you get his coffee or dabb his tie when he spills? Save it Liv the way you look at one another is as conclusive as DNA." Novak was laughing.

Olivia was freaked out "Casey – how did you know?" Olivia looked at her intensley.

"Remember the Robert Aruba case?" Novak continued "You asked that I call you immediately when I got the warrants signed. I wanted to see your expression when I handed it to you so I had just got off the elevator on your floor. Imagine my surprise when I saw my best friend locking lips with a certain detective." Casey arched her eyebrows.

Olivia knew the exact kiss she was talking about. It was their first kiss, right outside of their apartment. Elliot had teased her for keeping her eyes open.

"I don't understand," Olivia continued "You paged me to come to the presinct." Olivia was confused.

"Earth to Olivia," Novak joked. "I am not a dummy – that must have been some kiss. I wanted you to enjoy it so i got back in the elevator and paged you from my cell...relax liv...my lips have been sealed since day one. I want you to be happy." Novak said as Olivia pulled on the grass.

"Casey were getting Married." Olivia said calmly

"Hey that's great...wait...your not smiling...what is it Liv?" Casey extended her hand touching Olivia's hand.

"Casey, theres something else, your gonna hear about it soon enough but I want you to hear it from me first." Olivia inhaled deeply " Casey eleven years ago...I was...raped." Olivia said looking down. "I was a virgin...I haven't been with anyone since." She lowered her head still picking at the grass.

"And your scared you won't be able to make love to Elliot." Casey verbalized what Olivia was holding in. "Have you told him?" She asked her.

"He knows about the rape, being a virgin and he supports my decision to wait until I am married...but...I don't know if he understands my angst." Olivia's eyes were watering.

"Liv, it sounds like Stabler loves the snot out of you if he's already been waiting...I think he'll understand that your timid and inexpierienced." Novak looked at Olivia reassuradly.

"Take my advise Liv-when it happens-just go with it."

"You don't think I am weird still not having made love to someone?" Liv asked half laughing and halfbeing serious.

Casey took Olivia's hand "Absolutley not Olivia, hell...I wish I had waited."

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	20. Chapter 20 Then who was it?

CHAPTER 20

Ryan Lancer was waiting patiently in the coffee shop sipping his Latte when Elliot walked in.

"Hey Stabler...pssst...Stabler." Ryan said. "Come, on sit down, wheres Ms. Benson?" Ryan was looking past Elliot in hopes of seeing her.

Elliot knew they were meeting someone but didnt' know it was Ryan. "Hey Ryan!" Elliot called out deviously, "Had I known it was you we were meeting I would have brought the highchair so you could sit up at the table." Elliot was smirking.

Ryan smiled back tilting his head to one side. "Hardy har har Mr. Receeding hair line." Elliots face straightened up and his jaw clenched. Just as he was about to capitalize on Ryan's remark, Olivia walked in.

"Sorry I am late guys," breathing slightly faster than normal "I had to change in the restroom on my way." She sat next to Elliot and was facing across the table from Ryan.

"Sounds like tricky business" Ryan laughed.

"You don't even know the acrobatics you have to do." she said giggling as she stirred her coffee. "Alright Ryan, whatchya got for me." She asked removing her spoon and placing it on the napkin.

"Ms. Benson..." Ryan began I've got good news and I've got bad news." he paused

Olivia looked at him and took a deep breath. "Ryan, please call me Olivia, your making me feel old. Tell me, what did you find?" She asked, her voice was serious, her face was intense. Elliot took hold of her hand under the table.

"Ms. Benson...err...Olivia, well, heres the deal. The rape kit matches your DNA, I know thats not a surprise to you right?" He waited for her to respond

"No, Ryan it's not." She said furrowing her eye brows.

"The blood taken from your mother's shirt provided us with DNA consistant with hers. However, when we tested the hair flolical from the hairs removed form the shirt, they were not consistant with hers. They yeilded a male DNA profile." Ryan was speaking intensly. He was passionate about his work and it showed. He continued. " I know this isn't surprising either right?" Ryan asked

"Right, all that does is establish a perp and a victim with a case we already knew about." Elliot looked confused. "This isn't what you brought us here for is it?" Elliot was growing irritated. He felt Ryan was too young to be what he was doing and he hated that he was so full of himself.

"Well, actually, this all brought me to the bad news." Ryan opened the cover to the lab report looking for specific information, his eyes danced around and then locked into whatever it was he was wanting to share.

" Okay, Olivia,I lifted four different DNA samples from the gag that your perp used to keep you quiet." Ryan paused when Olivia quipped. "Four? What do you mean four?" She was searching his face trying to get answers.

"Ryan you might want to explain" Elliot said gesturing to Olivia who was obviously rattled.

"Right, sorry. The first blood sample I found matched your mother. No surprise, it was her shirt. Blood probably came from being cut or something. The second was hair samples that were consistant with the strand we extracted DNA from. The third was a blood starin...again matched to you. The fourth was also a very small drop of blood. The perp probably cut himself or skinned himself during the attack. Whatever the case, he bled on the gag. I matched the DNA from that stran to the DNA from your fingernails in the rape kit." Ryan paused making sure they were all on the same track.

"And?" Olivia asked impatiently "Who the hell did it match?" she was growing frusterated.

"Olivia, the DNA profile that was yeilded from the clippings and the blood stain match one another...but...they do not match the man who raped your father." Ryan said.

"Are you saying that her father is not her mother's rapist?" Elliot asked intensly.

"Well originally that was what I thought but I compared Olivia's DNA with her mother's attacker and he is definatly her father." Ryan replied.

"Okay, well, if my father didn't rape me, who did Ryan?" Oliva's voice was starting to quiver.

"Olivia, I ran mitochondrial DNA on your father's sample and the unknown perp's DNA, they're a match as you know mitochondrial DNA provides us with lineage...the man who raped you Olivia, is not your father, but he is related to him." Ryan finished speaking and closed his file, placing the bottom file on the top and openeing it up.

Olivia sat in her seat dumfounded. "So then it's back to looking for a needle in a haystack, is that what you brought me here to tell me Ryan?" Olivia's eyes were watering but she kept herself grounded, focused on Ryan's words.

"No, Olivia, I have more for you." Ryan licked his right thumb and index finger and begin searching through the file papers.

"Oh, no, what else could there be?" Olivia asked rubbing her temples.

"I called my wife at midnight, woke her up...she wasn't a happy camper, but anyway. I asked her if she could pull your background check up in the FBI archive. She faxed it to me at the office." Ryan flipped through and grabbed a sheet of paper from the file.

"Here it is" He said handing the paper to Olivia

"It's my birthcertificate, so?" Olivia said.

"Look closer Olivia, my wife was kind enough to inform me that when you applied for the Police Academy you checked 'lost' for your birthcertificate. Why?" Ryan asked

Olivia answered his question with her eyes closed, still rubbing her temples. "My mother said there had been a fire when I was young and it was dystroyed. She gave me a copy when I applied and said that she got it from down town."

"Well, it's a forgery Olivia." Ryan said matter of factly. Pulling out another birthcertificate. "This is what it should look like" He handed it to her. "Hold it up to the light...see the watermark?"

"Yeah." Olivia said starting at the document.

"Now hold your up." He instructed and she complied.

"There's no water mark." She said as she slowly lowered the paper. "Why would she fake my birth certificate?" she asked bewildered.

"Well that's what I asked myself. I called the hospital you were born at. They were grumpy too, it was only like two in the morning. People are grum..." Elliot cut him off.

"Stick to the task Ryan, come on, focus." Elliot reminded him.

"Sorry, i get carried away." Ryan repeated as he searched the file again

"It's okay, just tell us what we need." Elliot responded.

"Okay they faxed me a certified copy of your certificate that the hospital is required to keep on file." He handed her the certificate. "Look closely, notice anything?"

"No, but then again I don't know what I am suppose to be looking for Ryan." Olivia told him. Placing the document in front of her.

"The hospital has your birth listed as a multiple birth Olivia." Ryan said softly

Olivia stared with her mouth agape. "What?" she whispered

Ryan replied "Olivia, you have a fraternal twin... a male, whose DNA matches the gag."


	21. Chapter 21 Five doors to the right

CHAPTER 21

Elliot looked at Olivia. Her world had just been turned upside down...again. Olivia continued to stare at Ryan. Her mind could not process the news that she just heard.

"Are you telling me that I was raped by me brother?" Olivia's voice was disgusted. She was panicked, flushed when she turned to Elliot.

"El, is that what he's saying? Did I hear it?" If Olivia had any hope for a future, Elliot thought he saw it flee from her eyes in that moment.

"Olivia, you look nothing like your mother...everything like your father. Since he's a twin, it's reasonable to think your mother was scared to raise a son that looked like the man who raped her." Elliot hoped that logic could sooth her. He hated to see her hurt and he knew that right now her guts were being ripped out.

"My wife," Ryan spoke up again "She did most of the leg work in tracking the bastard down Olivia."

"Wait, wait." Olivia was trying to make since of what was happening. "Are you trying to tell me that you know who he is?" Olivia's eyes pierced Ryan's eyes. For the first time he saw the pain that seeped through her eyes.

"Well apparently our boy did time in Sing Sing for breaking and entering, he beat the hell out of the home owner, leaving his DNA." Ryan reached for Olivia's hand. "The profiles from that case and your rape...match. Olivia, he's your perp." He released her hand and sat back in his seat, signaling for the waitress to bring more coffee. As the waitress filled the coffee cups the conversation continued.

"Olivia, we pulled his parole file." He said lidding it over to her side of the table. Olivia stared wide-eyed at the file. "Everything you need is right there Olivia, name, address...photo." Ryan's voice was empathetic to Olivia's situation. Elliot noticed that he started to change from the hot shot kid scientist to someone who generally cared about capturing Olivia's perpetrator.

Olivia opened the file taking in a deep breath and forcing herself to release the photo from the paper clip. She stared at the man's void existence in the picture. "El?" Olivia slowly turned toward Elliot, keeping her eyes on the photo in her hands. "Does he look familiar to you? she asked showing him the photo.

"Liv, sweetheart, he's your twin, he's gonna bare a resemblance to you..." Elliot's voice was soft

"No, that's not what I mean, Ive seen this guy before, I know him from somewhere." She said looking at the ceiling trying to mentally recall any location they met. "He should look familiar to you Olivia." Ryan's voice was tense as he continued, "He lives five doors to the right of your apartment."


	22. Chapter 22 What about Vegas?

CHAPTER 22

Olivia and Elliot sat in his black Acura in front of her apartment building. The trip back from the coffee house had been quiet. Olivia was wearing her sunglasses to hide the tears that threatened to burst out at any moment.

"You don't have to go inside you know." Elliot spoke lightly.

"I know." Olivia began to speak "But, if I don't, then that means that he is winning. I've already givien him way to much ground and it's time I get that back." She told Elliot.

"Do you want me to come up with you Liv? I can reclaim my spot on the old sofa?" Elliot said laughing quietly in an attempt to soften the mood.

Olivia looked at Elliot. There was a seriousness about her that commanded it attention. "I am sorry Liv, I was just..."

"Its okay" she cut him off softly. " I wanted to talk to you about that El" She paused looking at him. "Come up?" She asked him.

"Sure, absolutley." Elliot said as he got out of the car, walking around the other side and opening the door for Olivia. "May I have your hand Mrs. Stabler?" He asked her, extending his to help her out of the car. She humored him, placing her hand in his. She arched one eyebrow and smirked...

"Mrs. Stabler?" She was blushing

"Just practicing." He replied, smiling as he closed the door and set the car alarm.

"Want something to drink or eat? I am hungry." Olivia asked Elliot.

"Liv? Didn't you just eat at the coffee house?" Elliot smiled

"What? Come on El that was like an hour ago." She was smiling as she pulled an apple out of the fruit baseket.

"Satisfied? At least it's healthy." She grinned and took a bite.

"So, Liv? You wanted to talk about something?" He asked making his way into the living room. She placed the half eaten apple down on a paper towel, wipping her hands on another and walking over to join him.

"Elliot, I was wondering what you thought about Las Vegas?" She was biting her bottom lip, her body language told Elliot that she was nervous.

"Um, well, I've never been there. Why?" He asked her confused

"Well, what do you say after everything settles down here we get married...there?" Olivia continued biting her lip, squinting her eyes in anticipation of his response.

"Liv, I really want to marry you but I know you don't want some cheesy wedding, don't you want your friends and family there?" He tried to remind her of the things that were important to her.

"Well I was thinking about that, and, well...your parents live on the west coast, my parent...well...we all know that situation, and our friends are from work...their not suppose to know. That leaves you and me." She was looking at him intently.

"Wow, you have thought about this haven't you?" He chuckeled. "So, you want to get married as soon as everything dies down then huh?" He tried to make sure he understood her perfectly.

"I want to marry you as soon as possible Elliot." She told him smiling.

"Sounds like a deal." Elliot said moving closer to her. "Everyday, you make me happier and happier. I searched for year and I gave up on the idea that I would find someone like you Olivia. He said moving his lips closer to hers.

"Well, you don't have to search anymore." She whispered as their lips fell into oneanothers. He placed his hand on her neck kissing her softly. Olivia held his face in her hands and Elliot gently pulled his lips away, leaning his forhead against hers. He took her hands into his interlocking their fingers.

" I called off the search the day I saw you Liv." He whispered to her, with his eyes closed, savoring the moment, her scent, her touch, her taste. He opened his eyes to see hers closed softly. "I love you." She whispered back.

Just as Elliot was leaning back in to finish what he had started, Elliots pager went off.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me" He said, pulling the pager out. "Can I use your phone Liv?" Elliot asked already in route to the cordless phone in the kitchen.

"Absolutley." Olivia responded, "I need to change into something more comfortable anyway." She said making her way to the master bedroom. As she took her jeans and button down shirt off Elliot began to call out her name.

"Liv? Liv? You decent?" Elliot said knocking on her door.

"Just a sec" She hollered back slipping into some addida track pants and throwing on a NYPD t-shirt.

"What's with the urgency?" She asked opening the door.

"Liv somethings wrong with your phone." Elliot said looking down at the reciever he had in his hand.

"Oh let me guess, you got a beep, interferance, and then another beep all in pretty quick succession." She said. " I think it must be something with the building because about a month after I moved in it started to do it. I think I've bought something like six or seven phones but they only work well for a couple of days and then its the same ole thing." she walked past Elliot and into the kitchen. "I never called the phone company because I am never here for them to come and fix it." She shrugged.

"Liv, do you remember the reason the police department switched survelance equipment about eight years ago." Elliot said starring at her with furrowed eye brows.

"No, I was still walking a beat, I didn't even know there was a switch." Olivia replied, retrieving her apple from the countertop. "So? Your point?" Olivia asked taking another bite of the apple. Wishing it were a hotdog.

"Liv, the reason for the switch was that the equipment didn't do well in high-rise buildings such as apartment buildings." Elliot slammed the reciever down on the counter starteling Olivia.

"Elliot? That's an expensive phone!" Olivia spoke sternly, not sure of what Elliot was doing. "Whats your problem?" She asked

Elliot started to seperated the phone as he spoke calmly. "Perps under investigation were finding bugs throughout their apartments, specifically the bugs that were placed in their phones." He continued moving the chipboards and wiring. "Eventually we learned that the perps were able to recognize a specific pattern in the phone when the signals switched to the wiring system to be recorded." Elliot held up a tiny device no bigger than a thumbnail. "They would always hear a beep, interferance and then another beep in succession...it let them know they're conversations were being taped. They would find the bug and we lost our cases time and time again." Elliot stopped talking as he analyzed the piece of survelance equipment infront of him. Olivia walked over to him looking at the pieces of the phone.

"Elliot? What are you telling me?" She asked seriously, no longer concerned with her apple

"Olivia," He began to speak as he held the tiny wires up to her. "Somebody is listening to you...your phone has been wiretapped."


	23. Chapter 23 I am a city girl

CHAPTER 23

"Hey Captain, thanks for coming by so soon." Olivia said closing the door behind him as he walked into her apartment. They both walked into the living room joining Elliot who was already pulling the third electrical outlet from the wall.

"Elliot? Who knew you were an electrician." The captain said jokingly.

"Well, Cap, under other circumstances that would be funny." Elliot began to stand with another small device in his hand. He presented it to the captain. "However, this seems to be rather serious." Elliot said still manipulating the wires in front of the Captain.

"Is that what I think it is?" The Captain asked.

Olivia interjected, handing them a piece of paper that read. "Guys, don't you think that since we are being recorded we should talk elsewhere?" Both the Captain and Elliot agreed grabbing the jacket and heading for the door.

The sandwich shop was void of any customers save Elliot, Olivia and the Captain.

"Well, since were here we should get something to eat." Olivia suggested as the Captain and Elliot looked at her.

"What?" She asked defensively. "A girls gotta eat." She smiled and ordered sandwiches for all as the men occupied a table. Olivia returned with manna for the afternoon.

"Alright, someone want to tell me what the heck is going on?" The captain asked irritated that his detectives were leaving him out of the loop.

"Olivia?" Elliot got her attention as she took her first bite of her meal. "Do you want to explain." She placed her sandwich back on the tray, chewed her food and swallowed hard.

"Okay, well, where should I start, it's like a soap opera." She said whipping her hands on a napkin. She took a deep breath and started to speak. "The lab technician was able to produce four different DNA samples from the gag my attacker used on me."

"Four? Why so many?" Cragen asked

"Well, one was my mothers, one was mine, and one was the man who raped my mother." Olivia paused looking at Elliot who urged her to finish the story that had managed to weave itself into the tapestry of their lives without their permission.

"What was the fourth one Liv?" Cragen asked again gently prodding her along.

"The man who raped me. It was confirmed by matching the DNA from the gag with the DNA from my fingernail clippings." Olivia held her hand down letting out a sigh.

"Liv, I thought the perp was your father?" Cragen was confused. Perhaps this was a soap opera afterall.

"They pulled my FBI file." Olivia continued picking through her sandwich. She had asked for no pickles and there were more pickles in the sandwich than in the grocery store. "Turns out the birth certificate I submitted was a forgery. After more digging, the lab tech discovered I was a multiple birth...I have a fraternal twin...a male fraternal twin." Olivia stopped.

"And his DNA matched the gag?" Cragen asked already knowing the answer. "You were raped by your brother?" Cragen asked. It was more rhetorical than anything else. He already knew the answer.

"Yeah." Olivia whispered shaking her head still in disbelief. "It gets worse."

"How can it get any worse than that Liv." Cragen asked her sympathetically. Olivia continued to stare down at her barely eaten meal. She could not bear to put into words what the forensic evidence declared. Elliot jumped in.

"Cap, he did sometime, his DNA profile was in the system, we tracked him down." Elliot put his hand on Olivia's leg under the table to let her know that he was still there for her.

"Well, what the hell are we here for lets go pick him up." Cragen said raising his voice in angst.

"Sir, it's not that easy." Elliot was uneasy

"Whats so difficult, you get a warrant and pick him up." Cragen looked at his detectives. Had they forgot how to secure a simple warrant?

"He lives in Olivia's apartment building...five doors away form her." Elliot spoke slowly but deliberately.

"Are you kidding me?" Cragen stared wide eyed, trying to digest what his system just took it. "So, what are your thoughts?" Cragen asked.

"Well, we were going to come to you this afternoon." Olivia finally found her voice. "Elliot made a call from my apartment and that's when he noticed that the sounds the phone made was from the wiretap." She was still starring at the table. Avoiding the glances of both the men sitting with her.

"How many did you find so far?" Cragen asked Elliot as he pulled out his cellphone dialing quickly.

"Three Elliot responded. One in each phone receiver and one in an electrical outlet." Elliot was still speaking when Cragen raised his hand to silence him.

"Yeah, Douglas, this is Cragen...Good you?...Listen I need a favor, I need a wiretap detection team." Cragen shook his head and mumbled a few thankyou's and I owe you's and hung up.

"Let's go guys, they're meeting us at Olivia's" Cragen said picking up his jacket and sandwich.

"Who is?" Elliot and Olivia asked Simultaneously as they picked up their food and caught up with the captain.

"Douglas, this is Detective Stabler and Detective Benson." The captain introduced the two to Leutinant Douglas. He was a tall man approximately 6'5. Dark olive skin and shaved head. His eyes were green and his jaw looked like a models. He obviously worked out as his muscles bulged from his NYPD uniform.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you two." His deep voice billowed through the hallway outside of Olivia's apartment. " You two are all Captain Cragen talks about...Benson this Stabler that.."

"Ahheemm." Cragen cleared his voice. Elliot and Olivia looked at each other shocked that they were the topic of Cragen's conversations. "How about we stick to the situation at hand huh Douglas?" Cragen said tilting his head to one side. He was blushing that his detectives now knew he thought very highly of them. "Don't let it go to your heads people." Cragen said sarcastically.

Elliot interrupted. " Mr. Douglas, I need you to turn over every inch of this apartment, I want every crack, outlet, switch, phone line, lamp, air vent, tampon, lipstick case and whatever else there is, checked for audio and surveillance equipment."

"Wait, what are we going to when he sees that he has suddenly lost the signal?" Olivia asked.

"Good question." Elliot agreed looking to Douglas for an answer.

"Not a problem," Douglas began to explain. "Were going to loop audio feed through the taps that the perp placed. That will cover the audio part. We've matched it with audio as well, just in case, well loop a weeks worth, that should give you sometime. If you need more, well bring in more." Douglas said moving to open the door.

" I just need to get some clothes." Olivia said walking in behind the task force that was about to tare her apartment apart.

"Elliot?" Olivia asked him, noticing that they had passed his apartment about ten blocks ago. "Where are we going?"

"I have a surprise for you." Elliot spoke, hoping to brighten her day. It didn't start off well, but he thought she was entitled to a great finish. After only fifteen minutes outside of the city Elliot made a left hand turn onto a dirt road.

"Olivia, do you remember when my parents moved from New York, they left their real estate to me?" He was looking at her and the road simultaneously.

"Yeah, you sold it didn't you?" Olivia responded trying to remember what he had told her about it.

"Yeah I sold all of them except one." Elliot parked the car in front of a colonial style house in the countryside of New York State. He got out of the vehicle and opened the door for Olivia who stepped out placing her sunglasses on her head.

"Wow, Elliot, its beautiful. Why didn't you tell me you had a home? Why do you live in that apartment?" She asked looking at him perplexed.

"Olivia, the funniest thing happened. Do you remember the first time you walked into the squad room?" Elliot asked her holding her hands in his. The wind was soft providing a relaxing breeze. "I was in the process of selling this house as well when I saw you, I knew you were going to be my wife, so I kept it, knowing we would need a place to start our lives, a place for our children to run, maybe have a dog...or two."" Elliot smiled looking at his future bride. Her skin glowing in the sunlight.

Olivia chuckled to herself. "El, I don't know the first think about being a country girl. What about the apartments? I love that city feel." She asked him.

"Liv, after all that has happened to do really want to stay in your apartment? I have someone in line to sublet mine, I only live there to be close to you. We could do the same for yours." He told her trying to convince her of a life together without the business of the city.

"You knew we were gonna be married from the first meeting huh?" She smiled up at him as he stood behind her holding her.

"Without a doubt." He smiled kissing her on her cheek.

"Well," She said, " Aim in. Can I see it?" She asked him with a smile.

"Actually, the contractors are doing work on it right now, they have the key so we can't get in." he told her apologetically.

"Oh no El, it's not a money pit is it?" She asked concerned.

"Absolutely not, I am just having some friends make some modifications for us." He smiled reassuring her that all was well. She took a step closer to him and embraced his lips with hers as the wind caressed the two of them together.

Olivia's cellphone startled them as they kissed one another in the country breeze. They separated for a second and then completed the kiss before answering the phone.

"Benson." She declared.

"Liv, get over here." The voice was all to familiar. Captain Cragen wanted the two of them back at her apartment and from the strain in his voice he wanted them there quick, like yesterday.

"El, we have to go, that was Cragen." Benson told him walking back to his car.

"What did they find Liv?" He asked getting in the car and starting the engine.

Olivia Replied "He didn't say exactly, but the strain in his voice was worth a thousand words."


	24. Chapter 24 She is Fearlessness

Chapter 24

Olivia opened the door of her apartment and left it opened as she and Elliot walked in observing several men combing her apartment.

"Did you find more cap?" Olivia asked trying to sound normal but the quiver in her voice let Elliot know that her nerves were shot.

"Yeah" Captain Cragen said. His face tense with a look of concern for Olivia. He turned around leading Elliot and Olivia into the kitchen where a mound of electrical items were segregated on the table. To Olivia it looked like a robot had vomited on her dinning table.

"So far five recording devices designed to record audio." Cragen paused and then continued, "They were found in various locations of your apartment Olivia, the kitchen..." he said pointing to corner light fixture mounted in the ceiling; "The living room," He pointed to an electrical outlet and the phone line. "Then there was the balcony, restroom and um...your bedroom Liv." Cragen bowed his head not wanting to look Olivia in the eye. He hated the fact that he had to be the bearer of bad news and he knew it was just beginning. He didn't want to keep telling her what he had found.

"What is it Cap? Just tell me." Olivia said sticking her hands in her pockets. "You found something else didn't you?...Well? What is it?"

"Liv-" Cragen said before clearing his throat. "We also recovered several cameras that were also placed in your apartment...looks like six so far." Just as Cragen finished Officer Douglas placed a bundle of wiring on the table next to the others. "Heres the last six Captain, whoever did this was good. Even the detection equipment we were using was having trouble picking up the transmission signals. He definatley had help."

"What makes you say that?" Elliot asked

"A job with this much wiring and only one person would have taken awhile, too risky because Olivia doesn't have a set schedule. She could walk in at anytime; I am willing to bet two people were working here, possibly three." Douglas turned back to Cragen who was standing with his hands in his pockets...hurting for Olivia. "I got to get my team over to the Raddisson, some hotshot classified is going to be there, and us lucky ducks got the short straw to run a sweep." Cragen nodded his thanks, his mind was still stuck on Olivia, he was sneaking a glimpse of her, she was acting brave but her eyes were telling him a different story.

"Thank you for squeezing us in." Olivia said, her voice was without emotion and a broken smile was all she could offer.

" Iam sorry detective Benson...whoever did this is one sick individual." He told her. It was Olivia's experience that men weren't exactly the best at conveying how they felt but, he was trying and she appreciated that.

Elliot escorted the team to the door thanking them again as they left. Elliot turned around after closing the door behind the men that had just left. He rested the back of his head against the door, closed his eyes and clenched his teeth. _How much more can she take_? He wondered to himself. She was resealiant, he knew that, but even the most resealiant item can be broken with the right amount of pressure over time.

He straightened up massaging his eyes with his fingertips. He walked back to the dining room where Olivia stood silently looking at the equipment on the table.

"What do you want Liv." Captain Cragen was a man of action and was willing to help her in anyway possible.

"Im not sure, I need some time to process this." Olivia turned and walked into her room closing the door behind her.

"You think she's gonna ever be the same Elliot" The Captain's eyes were red, pooling with tears.

"Well," Elliot said taking a deep breath "technically she's always had this pain since we've known her – she's just barely letting us see what she feels. I think with patience, love and her stubbornness she'll come out stronger. If there's one thing I've learned about Olivia and that is that she _is_ fearlessness."

REVIEWS PLEASE


	25. Chapter 25 Elephant in the room

CHAPTER 25

The next morning Elliot awoke to sunlight flooding into Olivia's apartment. He rubbed his eyes and waited for the sleepy fog to disappear. He looked around the apartment and could find no indication that Olivia had come out of the room. _Pancakes it is_. He thought to himself as he stood walking into the kitchen. When he opened the refrigerator he thought that he had heard a yelp coming from the room. Elliot paused with his ears focused in the direction of her room. Suddenly the most ear curdling screech slammed into his eardrums.

Elliot raced to her room opening the door. Elliot paused for a split second. He was shocked looking at her as she kicked in her bed, her head was thrashing left and right. Olivia was frantically speaking. "No!" her arms waving punching in the wind. "Get off of me!" She demanded

Elliot quickly came to her grabbing her shoulders, her clothes were soaked in sweat, her hair was flat from the moisture. She was wearing her boy shorts and a tank top but her body felt like an inferno.

"Liv?" Elliot said trying to wake her. "Wake up baby, wake up." The more Elliot shook her the more violent her strikes became eventually striking Elliot in his nose. He felt the warmth of the blood trickling down his nose and lips but did not take time to wipe it off.

Elliot retreated quickly into he bathroom turning the cold water of the shower on. In the background he could still hear her yelps, her pleas for her dignity. He ran back to her trying to wake her but to no avail. Olivia was locked in some dormant hell that Elliot could not pull her out of. He scooped her up into his arms his body still suffering the impact of her hands. He held her tight and stepped into the shower with her in his arms. The cold water hit her face startling her back to reality.

"Wha...wh...what happened, why are we...showering?" Olivia was understandably frantic, she had fell asleep in her bed and woke up in the shower...with Elliot. He tightened his hold on her and spoke softly rocking her to calmness.

"Shhhh...You had a nightmare, I couldn't wake you. It's okay now Liv, I am right here with you." Elliot reached over to turn the water off, he grabbed a towel from the wall and wrapped it around her trembling body.

"Wow, how embarrassing." She whispered, shocked that it had happened.

"Want to talk about it?" Elliot asked her taking her back into his arms.

"He haunts me in my dreams Elliot... I am sorry, if I scared you...your all wet now." She looked at his clothes that were clinging to his body and noticed stains. She looked at is face..."El? What happened?" She said touching his nose.

"Ah, Liv you know me, can't chew gum and walk, I ran into the door in your room." Elliot was making it up and he knew lying was wrong but did she really have to know that she had caused him to bleed. He didn't think so.

Olivia looked away from Elliot, she was embarrassed, for having inconvenienced him, embarrassed that she was standing in front of him in wet clothes, redoubtably see through. Elliot guided her head back to his gaze, "Don't you dare, be embarrassed." He told her lovingly but sternly. "I was starting to stink anyway." He told her with a smile trying to ease her insecurity but her eyes were already filled with that liquid pain. He embraced her.

"El?...I can't stay here anymore." her voice was shallow.

"Alright, not a problem, let's get cleaned up, sit tight and I'll grab you some clothes." Elliot returned still wet but laying dry clothes on the counter for Olivia who was standing holding her face in her hands. He walked to her and lowered her hands with one of his. He placed the other at the back of her neck and kissed her cheek whispering in her ear...

"I love you Olivia Benson."

Elliot could hear the sounds of Olivia's blow dryer working. He knew she would be a couple of minutes. He started to pack her clothes, one drawer at a time. After only minutes his phone rang.

"Stabler." He answered holding the phone between his ear and shoulder.

"Elliot? It's me." the older male voice responded

"Frankie?" Elliot asked

"No, your mama...yes it's me." Frankie chuckled. Frankie was an old friend of Elliot before he became a cop, in fact Frankie was Elliot's old boss.

"Frankie," Elliot spoke "Tell me good things buddy." Elliot's voice was happy and lighthearted.

"She's all done, ready for you to do the deed my friend."

"Oh man your timing is impeccable Frankie." Elliot responded smiling even though Frankie could not see him.

"Well, what can I say my friend, I try." Frankie was laughing. They said their good byes as Olivia walked into the room.

"Hey." She was smiling and happy, she was used to the nightmares and was able to put the pain aside. "Who was that?" she asked.

"Elliot spoke as he turned to face her "No one in partic-" Elliot stopped mid sentence when he stared at the creature in front of him.

"El?...You okay?" She asked. There was something about her after she had cried that made her look even more sexy. Perhaps it was the vulnerability she allowed him to see or perhaps it was the fact that she was shedding her sorrows one cry at a time. Whatever it was, Elliot's heart raced at the site of the woman before him.

"El...hello!" Olivia was standing directly in front of him. She snapped her fingers in front of his face but his eyes did not flinch. Elliot walked to her grabbing her gently by her bukel loops. The sexual tension between the two had become the proverbial elephant in the room. Elliot wrapped an arm around her petite waist, his right and on used to trace the contours of her face, brushing the hair from her eyes. There lips came together. He walked into her guiding her body backwards. Until her back was against the wall. Elliot placed his hands on either side of her head leaning into her. He was memorizing her lips, acknowledging their seduction. He kissed her again as he thought to himself _"there cannot possibly be anyone or anything more beautiful than this woman." _

Olivia changed roles from the Kissee to the kisser and still even though she was still against the wall, there was enough room for Elliot's hands to touch her. She felt his fingertips move along the trail of her spine going lower to the small of her back and still lower he went. Olivia was doing 'that thing with her tongue again and Elliot's body was on fire. He moved his waist closer to hers until they felt one another through their clothing. Elliot could hear the softest whimpers of passion come from Olivia as her body reacted to him.

Elliot was aware he was waking up a dormant part of her soul and that was his whole plan.


	26. Chapter 26 So, thats where she got it

CHAPTER 26

"Great it's settled then." Elliot said into his cellphone. Olivia was bagging and tagging the evidence that had been pulled from her apartment during the search.

"What do you mean 'what if she doesn't want to?'...Then I'll force her...look we've come this far its just a little farther and I'll have the only think I really wanted in the first place." Elliot zipped the suitcase shut. "Alright...um sunset around eight o'clock...Bye" Elliot closed the phone and walked out of the room luggage in hand. As he placed them in the front of the door he spoke...

"Liv? All done in their? We need to get going." Eliot turned to see Olivia sitting at the kitchen table. She was biting her lip tears staining her face.

The fact that Olivia had been video taped unknowingly in her own home finally sunk in. She sat before a sea of clear evidence bags effectively labeled by her own hand. It was the last two bags that moved Olivia to weep.

"Olivia?" Elliot's voice was tender. "What is it?" she looked up at him who was kneeling in front of her.

"El...there were four cameras that were not in the common area." She said, holding an evidence bag in her hand. She continued as Elliot looked at the tiny video recorder. "These two were in my bedroom. I was somewhat accepting of that because I am never undressed in my bedroom..." Elliot looked at her as if to say 'what?'

"It makes me nervous." She replied. "But these..." She stopped speaking handing the next bag to Elliot. He was reading the evidence label when he realized what was bothering her under Location of Evidence Found, were the hand written words "Shower and toilet areas."

"Oh, no Livie, I am so sorry." He told her.

Olivia's voice was shaking, "He's been looking at me naked... everyday... every... damn... day." She leaned into Elliot's arms and wept bitterly. He tried to hold back his own tears but could not. Elliot cried with Olivia as he held her whispering in her ear "I love you."

"Olivia? Olivia are you okay?" He asked her as they sat together on the couch in his apartment. She thought to herself a moment, analyzing her internal emotions. Olivia took a deep breath "You know what? Iam actually good." she said. "Hungry, but good nonetheless." she smiled at Elliot who was looking at his watch. "Already noon." he thought to himself. " I am surprised she hasn't resorted to cannibalism." he laughed out loud at his own private thoughts.

"What's the deal Sir-Smiles-Alot?" She was sheepishly smiling. The fact that Olivia could et like a horse and not gain an ounce was a long standing joke between the two of them.

"Well..." Elliot began "If it weren't for the whole virgin situation I would be inclined to believe that you were pregnant."

"Well..." she responded "Maybe I am cheating on you." Elliot froze with a look of pure shock on his face and then the both of them burst into loud laughter.

"I better get some food into you." Elliot shook his head still laughing. "Liv you want Angelo's?" He called to her from the kitchen.

"No, they don't deliver." She responded to him from the living room, she was looking through paperwork from the evidence file.

"Olivia Benson!" Elliot scolded her - "No work today." He took the file out of her hands and placed in back in the box.

"But Elliot, I..." Olivia was in the middle of her protest when Elliot turned around cutting her off by kissing her passionately on the mouth. She leaned into him, and he pulled back, clenching his jaw.

"Man, you are amazing" he whispered. Elliot walked to the front door, grabbing his keys. "I have to run some errand and I'll be back with sustenance." Elliot told her.

"Okay, I'll see ya soon then." Olivia replied.

Elliot was doing a balancing act with the food from Angeleno's, two small packages and two items he placed in the closet after placing the smaller packages out of sight.

"Liv, I come baring food." Elliot announced as he walked into the apartment. There was no answer. "Huh?" He thought to himself. Elliot walked into the kitchen hoping to find Olivia but instead finding a note...

"Sir Smiles-A-Lot," Elliot laughed, she always had a name for him. "I went to the apartment gym, I'll be back soon. I love you more than you know. 'L'

Liv loved the gym in Elliot's apartment building. After seeing it she must have written over a dozen letters to the owner of her own apartment building encouraging them to convert the basement area into a gym. It never came to fruition and when the two of them started dating he suspected she was using him for the gym but knew after the first time they kissed that he had a running chance against the gym.

Not wanting her food to go cold, Elliot grabbed his keys and went to meet her.

Elliot opened the door to the gym, there wasn't a soul until she spotted Olivia. "What is she doing on the floor?" he thought to himself, he could only see the top of her head but knew from her height level that she was not standing. He moved quietly careful not to distract her. When he was able to see her entire frame he was shocked to see Olivia doing the splits. Elliot sat on a weight bench towards the back of the gym and walked as she got up. Elliot had thought she was just kidding about the karate classes but her she was in traditional, white canvas, karate pants, a white, form fitting compression T shirt secured by a black martial arts belt double wrapped around her waist and tied neatly where her belly button would be.

Elliot rubbed his jaw remembering when Olivia had almost broke in. She had been so furious with him and so hurt by him for poking around in her past that she had slugged him. "So this is where she got it?" He thought to himself. He smiled and continued to watch her. The way her body moved, the muscle tone of her body beaded with sweat.

"That explains the perps she's went up against." He thought to himself. He smiled, remembering when she got a write up for breaking a perps wrist during a submission hold she put him in when grabbed her breast and refused to take his hand off after she calmly asked him to. The fact that she was so calm about it was amazing to Elliot.

There was something about the focus that Olivia had at this moment that was even more appealing to him. Olivia jumped into the air with a perfectly executed kick and landed in the splits. Elliot raised his eyebrows arching his neck backwards. "Wow, with that flexibility, making love to her is going to be a phenomenal experience."

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR FEEDBACK, I AM SORRY I DON'T GRAB ALL THE ERRORS BUT I HOPE THE STORY MAKES UP FOR THAT. DON'T KNOW HOW YOU ALL FEEL ABOUT HIS CHAPTER BUT THE NEXT ONE IS AN INTERESTING PLAY ON FOREPLAY. IT'S ESCALATING. ALSO LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT THIS STORY TO BE CONSTANTLY CONTINUING OR BROKEN DOWN USING THE SAME STORYLINE OR SEQUELS. THANKS GUYS AND IF ANYONE WANTS TO EMAIL DO IT! CYA.


	27. Chapter 27 Gonna loose those briefs?

CHAPTER 27

"El?" what is with you today?" Elliot suddenly snapped back into reality at the sound of Olivia's voice. He had been so lost in his obsession with her ability to do the splits that he hadn't noticed her sneak up on him. "El? Buddy? You got to be more aware of your surroundings! I could of took you out pal." She laughed play punching him in his arm.

"Oh please!" he smirked at her taunting her in a loving way. "You can't take this." He stood up, his six foot three inch frame standing taller than normal.

"Oh yeah?" She said raising her eyebrows at him, "You want to put dinner on it?" she walked over to her duffel bag pulling hand and feet pads out.

"I already got food at the apartment, lets make it interesting." Elliot told her grabbing an extra set of pads from her gear bag.

"Whatdya got in mind?" she asked him already suited up for action.

"How about a friendly game of strip fighting." Elliot smiled strapping on head protection.

"Sounds good to me." She said shrugging her shoulders and grabbing her foot stretching her quadriceps muscle.

Elliot was shocked. "Liv? Your agreeing to strip?"

Olivia smiled back at him. "Why not? In the end your gonna be the one naked, not me."

"I don't know Liv, I hope you're wearing clean underwear." He said planting his feet and raising clenched fist at Olivia. He was planning on muscling her. Olivia on the other hand moved freely, floating on her tiptoes. She switched from left to right taunting him.

"Come on Stabler, whatchya got?" She smiled showing her mouth guard. Elliot couldn't believe she was encouraging him to attack her. He stepped forward in a full swing which he soon regretted. She evaded, easily manipulating his wrist into an unnatural position. She applied enough pressure to force him to the ground.

"Ahh...okay, alright Liv." Elliot grimaced.

"You have to tap sweetly, it's the only way I can let you go." She was smiling in a manner of fact way. Elliot tapped out and she quickly released his arm.

"You can hang your shirt over there." she said smiling at him.

Elliot was shocked and impressed, rarely if ever had he been taken to the ground. He walked over to her...

"A deals a deal" he smiled inches from her face. The elephant was definatley in the room.

Elliot pulled his shirt over his head revealing the muscular terrain of his body. He hoped she would be distracted.

"You should decide now if you want your socks and shoes to be one win or two." she smiled, distancing her self from him. "Let's go buddy" she began her dance.

Elliot charged her again with a rapid succession of punches. She quickly crouched to one knee extending the other leg, she spun her body forcing Elliot down, his head bouncing on the ground.

"Sonova..." Elliot laughed rubbing his head.

"So, about those shoes...they should probably go by your shirt huh?" She was trying to hold back her smile but Elliot knew she was laughing on the inside. He was starting to wonder what he had gotten himself into.

"Kinda makes you wish you had worn an undershirt huh?" She smiled at Elliot who was now wearing only jeans. He stood grounded and this time waited for her. When she was within distance he bent low taking her to the ground Elliot was...tickeling her.

"That's cheating." She said laughing, her face was red.

"Give up?" Elliot laughed as he continued his torment.

"Alright alright." She said tapping the ground. "I give."

"You can go ahead and put your shirt next to mine." Elliot said bent over catching his breath. Olivia walked close to him remembering how Elliot tried to shake her focus.

"You really want my shirt off don't you?" She said smiling

"Amongst other things." He stared at her with his intense blue eyes.

"Well" Olivia said arching her eyebrow and biting her lip. " I am a woman of my word." She crossed her arms in front of her grabbing at her shirt and pulling it over her head.

"Ah man!" Elliot laughed pointing at her "Now that's cheating." he said looking at Olivia, who, after taking off her shirt, was still wearing a tank top.

"No" She said walking closer to him. "That's called foreplay." They stared at one another trying to catch their breath.

Elliot stepped closed "What do you know about foreplay?" he asked inches from her mouth.

" I know..." Olivia was whispering "That...it's what has been happening all day." she tentatively arched her neck up to him.

"Liv?" Elliot spoke softly centimeters from her face.

"Yeah?" she closed her eyes waiting for the impact of the kiss.

" I am getting that shirt off." Elliot smirked and walked away.

Olivia smiled confidently, "Yeah well, here's hoping your wearing clean boxers."

"You'll never know." He told her suddenly coming to her his leg extended in a kick with a punch following, Olivia backed to the left, placed her leg behind him and simply pushed him over it, tripping him...again.

"Yep, that's a point." she smiled leaning over him. "You should probably fold your jeans to avoid wrinkles."

Elliot stood in front of her in his boxer briefs. Olivia was surprised. "Calvin Klein?" She asked. "What happened to Hanes, ten for six bucks?" She teased him knowing he was not a name brand type of guy, but boy was he looking sexy in those boxer briefs. " I hope your ready to loose your new underwear." She taunted.

Elliot lunged at her again and ended up on the floor before he realized what had happened. Olivia stood over him. "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result."

"Well, you could at least help me up since you obliterated my ego." He told her holding out his hand. She took hold of it and was surprised when he pulled her down on top of him.

"Ahhh." She was startled as she found herself sitting on his abdomen her knees on either side of Elliot. She slowly adjusted her self still kneeling so her chest was against his. Her hands supporting her weight. Olivia smiled as she leaned into Elliot kissing him on his forehead allowing her breast to be in his line of site. Both of their bodies glistened with sweat but to one another they were still the most beautiful people they had ever seen.

Elliot lifted his head slowly kissing her neck, and gently pushing her onto her side. Her perfume was amazingly seductive. He spread his hand over her waist drawing her closer to him. She shuttered at his embrace.

"El?" She whispered softly, holding the back of his neck with her hands.

"Yeah?" he asked fondling her neck with his lips.

"You gonna loose those briefs?"

REVIEW


	28. Chapter 28 Abhaya? What's it mean?

CHAPTER 28

Elliot and Olivia stared intently at one another and suddenly Elliot's cell phone screamed at them. Olivia let out a disappointed breath as Elliot stood up.

"Oh not now." Elliot said in frustration. "Stabler." He answered his phone, making no effort to change the frustration in his voice. Olivia, stood up smirking at his frustration. She retreated into the shower area to clean up.

Elliot continued his conversation in a low turn careful to keep his back in the direction of Olivia. "Yeah...Yeah tonight." Elliot took a quick look to ensure Olivia was out of the gym. He began to talk and dress simultaneously keeping careful watch of Olivia's return.

"Yeah, were gonna eat and then I am gonna spring the trap...hopefully...alright...bye."

Elliot sat down tyeing his shoes. He stood adjusting his pant legs when Olivia walked back in carrying a duffel bag.

"Ready?" She asked. "Kicking your butt made me hungry." She joked.

"Ouch." Elliot laughed. He was still a confident man...even if his girlfriend could lay him out.

Elliot and Olivia were eating spaghetti from Angelino's on the balcony. Besides pancakes spaghetti was on Olivia's top ten list.

"So-" she said before taking a drink of water. "What do you think about the evidence for my case?"

Elliot stood to his feet taking Olivia by the hand. He pulled her close as if they were both exotic dancers. "I thought I told you no work today?"

"What's so special about today?" She asked him, she was starting to get suspicious. Elliot rarely turned down work. When he did there was always something on the horizon.

"Liv, turn off your detective switch...just for tonight okay?" Elliot told her retreating to the corner of the balcony to turn on the portable radio he kept outside. He took her back into his arms as they danced with one another. Olivia held him close with her head over his shoulder. She closed her eyes savoring the moment of them dancing to "A New Day Has Come." Olivia smiled at the irony of the song, knowing that a new day had truly come when she met Elliot. Overcome with emotion she released silent tears as she listined to the lyrics...

"_I was waiting for so long  
For a miracle to come  
Everyone told me to be strong  
Hold on, and don't shed a tear  
Through the darkness and good times  
I knew I'd make it through  
And the world thought I had it all  
But I was waiting for you_

Hush, now  
I see a light in the sky  
Oh, it's almost blinding me  
I can't believe, I've been touched by an angel with love  
Let the rain come down and wash away my tears  
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears  
Let it shatter the walls for a new sun

A new day has come."

Olivia tried to wipe her tears without Elliot catching on but she failed miserably.

"Liv?" Elliot asked, "You okay?" He was looking at her- wiping her tear stained cheeks.

"No Elliot. I am not okay." She said looking at him. "I am elated." She smiled into his lips. When they separated for air Elliot pulled a small box from his pocket.

"I have something for you." He said, "Here, open it." He handed her the small box.

Olivia was smiling "El- your too good to me, I don't deserve it." She said trying to push the box away.

"You deserve more." He smiled "Open it...go ahead." he pushed it back to her with an even bigger smile.

As Olivia opened the box her eyes widened as she smiled. "It's beautiful El." She told him looking at the gold necklace that was adorned with a small gold rectangular pendant. There was an engraving in the pendant that said 'Abhaya'. She ran her index finger over the engraving. "Abhaya?" She asked him, hoping he could clarify. She had never heard of the word before and wasn't even sure it was English.

Elliot took the necklace out of the box and motioned her to turn around. He lowered the necklace in front of her to clasp it behind her neck in front of him. "The word Abhaya." he started as Olivia held her hair up as clasp the chain, "Is exactly what you are." Olivia turned around facing him with a confused look on her face.

"What do you mean?" She inquired

"Do you remember when you told me you felt like you had lost your identity, that you never really knew who you were?" Elliot asked her.

"Yeah." She whispered averting her face from him.

He held her cheek forcing her to look at him. "Abhaya." He spoke and then stepped closer leaning into her ear and softly finishing "means fearlessness." Olivia bowed her head and looked back at Elliot with her big doe eyes. "Thank you Elliot." She said with a hoarse voice and watery eyes.

As the night progressed they danced, finished eating and talked for hours. Elliot had never seen Olivia so comfortable and relaxed even around him. It took a year to get her to go out with him, five dates to hold her hand and just under another year for her to say she loved him.

There were times when she ran from the intimacy, times when she refused to see him outside of work. About a year and a half into their relationship Olivia was so uncomfortable with someone caring for her that, in an effort to put distance between the two she yelled at Elliot telling him she hated him.

It stung Elliot more than she knew but he persisted in patience and pursued her lovingly. He would not let her push him away and he certainly would not let her know she had hurt him, he knew it was her defense mechanism but it hurt just the same.

Tonight, however was a changing point Olivia was finally becoming a woman capable of _accepting_ love.


	29. Chapter 29 Who was that woman?

THANKS FOR CONTINUING YOUR READING. I KNOW YOU ALL ARE STILL ASKING ABOUT THE PERP...DON'T WORRY I HAVEN'T FORGOTTON.

CHAPTER 29

Olivia and Elliot were cleaning the kitchen and putting the left over spaghetti away when there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it." Elliot said trying his hands on a kitchen towel. He moved to the door but Olivia spoke up.

"El? It's past eight o'clock, were you expecting someone?" She was still wiping the counter top with a wash cloth.

"No" Elliot said not looking at her. Olivia was a human lie detector and looking at her while you told a lie was not a smart move, especially when you were deliberately trying to get away with something right under her nose.

"Hey – your late!" Elliot whispered sharply as he opened the door.

"Hello? New York Traffic!" A female voice barked back in a whisper. "What do you want from me? " She was being sarcastic, she knew exactly what Elliot wanted. They had been planning and plotting behind Olivia's back.

"Look" Elliot said handing the two small packages to the female voice. He was still whispering. "Whatever you do, don't loose these."

"Where's the rest of the stuff?" She asked

"Oh, I almost forgot." He whispered opening the hall closet and retrieving the items he had placed their earlier. "Here." He handed them off to her. "Now split, if Olivia sees us its over." he shewed her away, closing the door and returning to the kitchen.

"Who was that girl?" Olivia asked closing a cabinet.

"What girl?" Elliot asked stalling to make an excuse. Had Olivia seen her?

"I thought I heard a woman's voice." She responded to him with a smile. Elliot was convinced she hadn't seen her but he knew she heard the woman's whisper. "Oh crap I hope she doesn't recognize the voice, or I am busted. " He thought to himself.

"Pizza delivery girl." It was all he could come up with. "She had the wrong place so I redirected her." He said embracing her from behind, Elliot was desperately trying to throw her off the scent.

Olivia accepted his body behind hers. She leaned into him. She enjoyed Elliot's backwards hugs. The smell of his aftershave invaded her space. His arms and hands venturing through the curves of her body. It was a vulnerable position for Olivia but ironically it was a position that brought her a great deal of security.

"So?" Elliot said moving her shoulder length hair to the side revealing the back of her neck.

So?" She responded smiling as his lips pressed against her neck.

"I stocked up on your favorite popcorn. You up for a movie?"

"Whatdya go in mind?" She asked turning to face him.

"Well, do you remember the last time we rented movies?" Elliot said

"Yeah, I wanted to see that older movie with the little girl but they didn't have it." Olivia couldn't remember the name of the movie but remembered asking her mother to take her to see it in the theaters. Olivia never got to see it, every time her mother said she would take her, Olivia ended up cleaning her mom's vomit up after she'd come home drunk.

"Well..." Elliot said placing a bag of popcorn in the microwave. "It just so happens..." He took hold of her hand and led her to the living room. He picked up a DVD and handed it to her. "I found it this afternoon."

"Ah – The Wizard of Oz. I am totally up for it." She said. Olivia got the DVD ready and Elliot joined her with popcorn mixed with M&M's. Olivia had introduced him to the rather odd mix but surprisingly he enjoyed it.

As the credits began to roll at the end of the movie Olivia tried to sit up but Elliot had fallen asleep holding her tightly. She was so engrossed with the film she had not realized that he had drifted. She carefully broke his grip trying not to wake him. She pulled his shoes off, smiling, Elliot was insistent on always wearing his shoes.

"Liv?" He mumbled

"Shhhh." She responded. You need your sleep,- you did get beat up today remember.'' she smiled softly and kissed him on the lips. He responded to her half asleep, she pulled away not wanting to fully wake him. "I love you Elliot Stabler." She whispered quietly before returning to the master bedroom to go to sleep.

In a manner of an hour Elliot found himself wide awake and unable to sleep. He decided to get up and with no plan he walked about his apartment. Coming across the evidence box on the kitchen table he flipped through files thinking to himself. "_We're gonna get you, you bastard, if it takes the rest of my life, I am gonna kill you for doing this." _ Still unable to concentrate on sleep, or the case, he eventually found himself sitting in a chair in the master bedroom watching Olivia as she slept. She was curled up in the fetal position her hand tucked under her face. Elliot smiled thinking she looked great in his bed. The situation he found himself in, while she slept reminded him of her accident, he had set with her every spare moment he had. Olivia stirred slightly.

"El?" she murmured. "You okay?" she pushed her body up in the bed and locked her elbows behind her for support.

" I couldn't sleep." He responded in the darkness. He had been keeping a secret that was about to unfold and it was making him nervous. Elliot was starting to doubt the outcome of his plan. _Should he, shouldn't he, what if?_ He kept asking himself. Elliot's leg was bouncing nervously, his body language was telling Olivia he was stressed out.

"Lay down with me?" She asked him in a whisper. Elliot looked up not sure if he had heard her correctly. "Come to bed El." She said again pulling the covers from the other side of the bed down for him.

Elliot strategically placed himself away from her touch, he did not want to be tempted – not tonight. He took a deep breath just as Olivia positioned her self closer spooning with Elliot. She put her hand on his shoulder and rested her chin on his neck.

"Want to talk about it?" She asked softly.

"I am sorry Liv." Elliot whispered. Olivia furrowed her eyebrows unsure of what Elliot meant.

"For what?" She asked.

"For hurting you." Elliot replied softly, he was so tired he was falling asleep.

"What!" Olivia exclaimed. "What are you talking about?" she asked bringing him back to wakedness.

"If I hadn't went behind your back you wouldn't be in so much pain." He swallowed hard.

"Elliot Stabler! Look at me." Olivia used a stern but loving voice. "Look at me Elliot." She repeated.

Elliot turned his face to her and then adjusted his body so he was facing her completely. She placed her hand on his face caressing him softly as she spoke. " I thank God for you everyday for you Elliot." She spoke intently. "When I see you my entire body smiles." She said showing him her sexy smile. "Yes it hurt that you didn't wait for me to tell you but I am glad you did what you did Elliot." she moved her fingertips to his lips. " I am blessed that I have you Elliot."

"Why do you love me Olivia?" He asked her with his eyes shut tightly. She had never really told him why only that she did.

"I love you because with out you I literally can't function. I love that your smart and sexy. I get a kick out of the fact that you know nothing about cars but you still try to fix them. I love that when you walk into a room your presence commands attention. I love your touch and your patience. The way my heart comes to life when I hear the sound of your voice." Olivia's eyes were tearing up. She had never verbalized to Elliot what he meant to her and seeing the look on his face when she told him let her know that he desperately needed to hear it. "I love you because you looked past my facade and took a deeper look at my heart." She moved closer to him and kissed him softly on his lips. Elliot wondered if she would feel the same way when she found out what the woman at the door was really about.

As Olivia drifted off to sleep, Elliot stayed awake waiting for the phone call that would change their lives forever.


	30. Chapter 30 That's Weird

CHAPTER 30

"El?" Olivia jerked awake. "Elliot answer your phone." She said gently shaking him. Elliot tossed the covers back taking his phone call into the living room. "Stabler" He answered.

"Hi Elliot." Came the female's voice. "You ready?" It asked.

"Your late." He spoke quietly to keep Olivia from hearing.

"Late? What's five minutes? You are so anal." The voice teased.

"Im about to completely blindside Olivia – you bet your butt Im anal." He told her. "Is everything ready?" He asked adjusting his tone of voice after realizing what he had just said.

"I've spent the last week on it Elliot. I had to clear my calender and take my vacation." She responded growing frustrated with his re-enactment of the Spanish inquisition.

"Alright, I'll see you just before sunrise then." Elliot took a deep breath.

"Great it's a date." The voice said just before hanging up the phone.

**XXXXXXXXXX **

Elliot returned to the room.

"Olivia, wake up sweetheart we got to move fast. " Elliot spoke quickly and authoritatively as Olivia pulled herself out the bed.

"Elliot?" She asked. "Who in their right mind called at three in the morning." she turned the light on squinting her eyes from the shock of the light.

"We got a lead." Elliot told her as he changed into a shirt and slacks quickly almost forgetting his belt. He was already dressed and she was barely brushing her teeth.

"That's weird." Olivia said with her toothbrush in her mouth.

"What's weird?" Elliot asked searching waiting impatiently for Olivia who seemed to be taking her time.

"Well, the only two people that know about us are Casey and Cragen right?" She asked after spitting in the sink.

"Yeah so...Liv, it's a two and a half hour drive..." Elliot said tapping his watch.

"Look Mr. Antsy Pants, all I am saying is, don't you find it odd that you were called on your cellphone about a lead and I wasn't?" She asked as she wiped her mouth with a hand towel. Elliot hadn't even thought about that. "Oh crap." He thought to himself. "What now, what now." he was desperately seeking a way out.

"I don't know Liv, maybe they assumed I would tell you. Who knows all I know is were gonna be late if you don't start moving." He was growing more impatient with her. They were on a time clock and she seemed bound and determined to mess with it.

Olivia emerged from the bathroom only minutes later. She smelled incredible. She looked flawless, even when she was rushed.

"What? No coffee?" She smiled at Elliot who was already pacing in the hallway.

"Ha ha." He responded sarcastically walked out of the apartments and headed for Elliot's car.

"Well I suppose its too much to ask for a twenty-four hour Starbucks huh?" She was still teasing Elliot.

"You can sleep in the car you caffeine addict." He told her.

"Wait!" Olivia was suddenly serious.

"What?" Elliot said.

"How will we explain showing up in the same car?" She raised a good point.

"Well, don't you remember your car is in the shop?" Elliot told her, suggesting that, that would have to be the cover story, as it was, her car was still at her apartment building.

"Sounds good to me." She said opening the car door. "By the way, I am not a caffeine addict." She told him as they both got in the car. "I am a junkie. Addicts go to meetings." She laughed. "And I will take you up on your offer." Olivia reclined the passenger seat slightly and smiled at Elliot. "Good Night."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

As the vehicle came to a stop, Olivia's neck bent forward snapping her to attention. "Where in the heck are we?" She asked trying to gain her night vision. It wasn't exactly sunrise nor was it pitch black.

"Jersey Pier." Elliot said calmly getting out of the car.

"Jersey?" Olivia was shocked. " Elliot, did you get clearance? Did you let Jersey brass know we would be in their jurisdiction?" He eyes were large and she was already starting to bite her lip.

"Liv!" Elliot said snapping her out of her worry rant then changing to a softer tone.

"Don't trip potato chip." He laughed as they walked.

"Okay Elliot. Two things. No, make that three." she said matter of factly.

"Oh no" Elliot thought, "here it comes" Elliot braced for the verbal impact.

"First, You haven't even bothered to tell me what kind of case this is." Olivia stopped dead in her tracks. " Second, I know that the woman at the door last night was not the pizza delivery girl." her voice wasn't angry, she was playing with him but at the same time she really was looking for answers. " and third..." she smiled. "Did you just call me potato chip?" She asked. Elliot never had catchy phrases, that was usually her department. It made her laugh.

"Liv!" Elliot was seriously stressed out. "Will you please just follow me...please." He asked her in a stern monotone voice.

"Wow, sorry," She said. Falling in behind him allowing him to lead the way.

"See," Olivia thought to herself. "If you would have had a coffee you wouldn't be so grumpy." She smiled at her own thoughts until she realized Elliot was leading her across the sandy beach. "Okay," She continued talking to her self. "Heeled boots weren't the smartest idea." But she continued not wanting to push Elliot anymore. She had had her fun the time being.

The weather was just right, surprising for the beach so early in the morning. The fresh salt air was refreshing for both Elliot and Olivia. In the distance Olivia started to make out two structures.

"El" she asked.

"Yeah?" He responded with a lighter more balanced voice.

"Where's CSU?" She asked looking around. There was nothing on the beach except the two building structures that she eventually made out to be changing tents. Normally, changing tents were placed every so many yards to allow people privacy for changing into bathing suits. These were uncharacteristically close.

"What's going on Elliot?" She asked, this time she wasn't kidding. She wanted answers.

"Olivia, someone is waiting for you in that changing tent." Elliot pointed to the right.

"Huh?" She looked at Elliot. "And you want me to just walk in there?" She asked. "Without knowing who this person is or what they have done?" She arched her eyebrow at him.

"Olivia, you and I stood in this spot over a year ago. Do you remember?" He asked her.

Olivia looked around. "Oh, my goodness, I didn't recognize it." She said looking back at him. "This is where you told me you loved me." She smiled, blushing.

"Yep." He told her. "Now please, go into the tent Olivia...trust me." He told her, knowing those were probably her least favorite words.

As Olivia approached the tent she heard a woman's voice. "_That's familiar_." Olivia thought. There was no other voice that Olivia could hear, she assumed they were talking on a cellphone. Then it dawned on her that the whisper she heard was the same whisper she heard from the woman talking to Elliot at the door.

Olivia furrowed her eyebrows confused and continued to listen.

"They should be here just wait there." The voice said. Olivia suddenly realized she knew the identity of that voice. She pulled back the fabric door of the tent startling the woman.

"Casey?" Olivia was shocked and confused. "What the _hell is going on?_"

XXXXXXXXXX


	31. Chapter 31 He kept it this whole time?

I AM SOOOOO SORRY TO ALL OF YOU. I WENT ON VACATION AND IT HAS BEEN A NIGHTMARE TRYING TO GET AN INTERNET CONNECTION. HERE IS ANOTHER CHAPTER. I AM GONNA TRY AND GET THROUGH THIS SECTION IN THE NEXT CHAPTER AND THEN WERE MOVING ON TO THE BIG FISH...LOL THANKS FOR STICKING WITH ME THIS LONG. YOU GUYS ARE GREAT ENCOURAGERS.

CHAPTER 31

When Elliot was sure that Olivia was inside of the changing tent he walked into the tent on the left.

"Elliot!" Captain Cragen greeted him. "I guess I am gonna loose fifty bucks to Novak huh?" The captain was smiling

"I am glad you both agreed to help me with this, I didn't want Olivia to go through it alone, you know what I mean?" He asked the captain.

"Absolutely." The captain responded.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Wow, hold up Liv." Casey stood up slowly.

"What the hell is going on?" Olivia asked again. "Why am I getting pulled out of bed butt crack in the morning to stand in a changing tent on the beach?" Olivia was starting to loose her temper. _I didn't even know they still had changing tents_. She thought.

"Liv?" Casey was smiling. She was always amused when Olivia's vain popped out of her forehead.

"Oh, you think it's funny?" Olivia asked. " I got two questions, no – make that three..."

Casey absolutely hated when Olivia started a sentence like that. It meant Casey would be enduring a verbal assault shortly. She took a deep breath and let Olivia vent.

"First of all why were you at Elliot's last night whispering." Olivia never thought Elliot would cheat but why did he lie about the pizza girl she asked herself. "Second – why are you and I here?" Olivia hated surprises. She liked giving them, but absolutely hated being blindsided. "Third..." Olivia suddenly stopped when she realized Casey really wasn't paying attention to her rants. Casey kept pointing to a garment bag hanging on the bar that was the frame of the changing tent. "Thirdly" Olivia said looking suspiciously at the garment bag. "What the hell is that?" She asked pointing to the garment bag.

"Well," Casey began to speak. "Are you done with your rant or should I wait for the rave?" Casey smiled at Olivia. "Why don't you open up the garment bag Olivia, it'll answer your questions quicker than I can." Casey smiled walking closer to Olivia.

Olivia began to unzip the garment bag to reveal white plastic, which was covering something. Attached to the plastic was a card addressed to "Liv". Olivia opened the card slowly and read it aloud at a near whisper.

"You said as soon as possible. This was the soonest we could both be here. I love you more than you know. "E" Olivia held the card in her hand she still hadn't exactly understood what was happening. She looked at the white plastic that was starring patiently back at her. Olivia was too scared to open it.

XXXXXXXXXX

"What do you mean your gonna loose fifty bucks?" Elliot said as he clasped the cuff link to the bottom of his shirt sleeve. "You bettin' against the relationship captain?" Elliot asked him smiling.

"The relationship?" Cragen asked straightening his own tie. "No." He responded but Elliot knew he wasn't done.

"But?" Elliot asked suggestively.

"But...I thought for sure Olivia was gonna nail you and Casey." The Captain said with a bout of laughter. " I was bracing for Olivia to storm into my office asking for a transfer." He kept smiling pulling his shoes out of their box.

"Well she knew I was lying about the girl at the door, but I don't think she is expecting this at all." Elliot smiled to himself. "Is everything ready outside?" He asked the captain.

"As soon as she stepped foot in the tent everyone was on it...in and out." The captain said with a reassuring voice.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Open it Olivia." Casey urged her softly.

"What is is?" Olivia asked still starring at the plastic and holding the card in her hand.

"Liv, you know what it is...open it." Casey said gently taking the card from Olivia's hand.

Olivia gently separated the plastic from the hanger and gasp at what she saw.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Should I wait outside for her?" Elliot asked Cragen.

"Casey hasn't called yet. I think you should wait." Cragen responded.

"You think theres a problem?" Elliot asked

"Elliot, she's a woman...we could be here for a long time." He smiled back at Elliot.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Casey?" Olivia said running her fingers along the length of the fabric. "How long have you known about this?" She looked at Casey.

"Long enough to know that Elliot was freaking out about every little detail...He wanted it to be perfect." Casey walked behind Olivia, placing her hands on the back of her shoulders in a friendly gesture. "He had that tailor made for you Liv, he said it was the one you wanted."

Olivia turned around quickly looking at Casey with a confused look. "We never discussed this...how did he get my size?" Olivia asked.

"Do you remember when fin accidentally spilled his coffee on me about a month or so ago?" Casey asked Olivia while she began opening a box.

"Yeah...so?" Olivia replied with furrowed eyebrows.

"Well, apparently, Elliot remembered too, he also remembered that you gave me your extra change of clothes from your locker." Casey smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Apparently he capitalized on the fact that we are both the same size." Casey pulled the custom wedding dress from it's garment bag so Olivia could see it in it's entirety.

"Oh my -" Olivia stopped, she was struggling to catch her speech. "How did he know?" Olivia asked in a hoarse voice. She was struggling not to cry.

"I am not sure about that. He handed me this piece of paper all crumpled up." Casey handed it to a very surprised Olivia.

"Casey – I drew this _four_ years ago!" Olivia said holding it up to the dress. Every detail was flawless.

"What? That's impossible you two weren't even dating yet?" Casey said in protest.

"We were investigating a rape homicide that led us to this upscale bridal store." Olivia continued to inspect the dress as she spoke. " I was getting angry at the person we were interviewing so Elliot and I agreed I would wait in the front of the store. I was bored so..." Olivia turned to Casey. " I threw it in the trash when he came to me to leave." Olivia could not stop the soft tears from escaping her gentle eyes.

"He kept it this whole time?" Casey asked Olivia shocked and in complete envy. "Damn I wish I had a guy like that." She told Olivia.

"Yeah, _four_ years." Olivia said.


	32. Chapter 32 I am going to ruin his life

CHAPTER 32

Olivia stood silent as Casey zipped up the back of Olivia's dress.

"There ya go." Casey said. Olivia stood motionless.

"I don't think I can do this Casey." Olivia whispered.

"What?" Casey asked as she faced Olivia.

"I am so scared" Olivia said with water in her eyes.

"Oh, Liv that's normale for a bride." Casey rested a hand on Olivia's shoulder.

"No...Casey, I am scared I am gonna ruin his life." Olivia responded as a tear fell from her eye.

"What?" Casey said surprised. She firmly grabbed Olivia's hand and held them together. "Look at me Olivia." Casey said in a soft voice. Olivia looked up embarassed as Casey spoke.

"Olivia, you are the best thing that ever happened to Elliot." Casey continued her encouragement. "Munch told me that before you were assigned to be Elliot's partner that Elliot was so hard hearted no one wanted to be around him."

"What?" Olivia said shocked, no one had ever told her that.

"It's true, Cragen said the same thing." Casey remarked

"What? How do you know all this?" Olivia asked suspiciously

"Come on Liv, do you think I would let my best friend marry a man that I didn't have a thourough background check done on." Casey smirked

"Are you kidding me?" Olivia said in an emotion she could only see as being between thankfullness and unrealistic.

"Liv?" Casey asked holding the boquet out to her.

"Thanks Casey...for everything." Olivia replied as she held the flowers in her hands.

"No problem Liv, that's what friends do." Casey said making final adjustments to Olivia's dress. Casey stood back and admired the woman in front of her. Olivia's neckline, was strong and fragile at the same time. Her white sleeveless wedding dress hugged her body with the empire waistline. The smooth folds of white fell at her feet and continued backward forming a four foot trail. "Your gorgeous." Casey said.

XXXXXXXXXX

Elliot searched the tent for the jeans he had cast off in favor of his black tuxedo pants, his phone was ringing which meant Casey had either good news or bad news.

"Stabler" Elliot replied out of habit.

"Elliot it's Casey." She replied somberly.

"Yeah?" Elliot spoke suggestively

"Look, for all it's worth, I tried, but..." Casey was cut off.

"She doesn't want to marry me does she?" Elliot said sadly as Cragen looked at him.

"Sorry Elliot." Casey said with a long pause "Elliot?" she asked

"Yeah?" He replied glibly

"Just Jokeing!" She laughed into the phone. "Let's get this thing rolling." Casey said ecstatically.

"Remind me after the honeymoon to kill you Novak." Elliot said with a smile.

"Huh? I think that constitutes pre-meditation detective." She laughed. "Bye." She hung up the phone as Olivia was doing the finishing touches on her makeup.

"Casey, I wanted to tell you something" Olivia was speaking seriously as she put her makeup supplies back in their respectfull case.

"Go for it." Casey told her as she gently pulled Olivia closer to her. She held Olivia's veil in her hand and reached up to gengerly clip it into Olivia's hair.

"I'am sorry that I dumped all of that on your lap when we were running that day." Olivia said repentant. "I didn't mean to just blurt it out, but the pain, it was consuming me, and I didn't want you to read some report, I wanted you to hear it from me. I am really sorry Casey." Olivia looked away slightly before Casey spoke up.

"Olivia, I was honored that you felt like you could trust me with your pain." Casey's eyes were watering. "Don't ever feel like you have to be sorry...for anything that you tell me." Casey rubbed Olivia's arm in reassurance. " I think of you like my sister. I would have changed positions with you if I could have." Casey gave Olivia a warm embrace and then seperated. "Now, are you gonna get down that aisle or am I gonna have to drag your carcass?" Casey smiled as she pulled the veil over Olivia's face.

XXXXXXXXXX


	33. Chapter 33 I'd be honored

CHAPTER 33

Elliot waited patiently, as the sun started to peak over the horizon. In spite of the cool breeze coming in from the ocean it was still just the right temperature. Elliot stood with his bear feet in the sand. He looked stunning in his tuxedo. It was the classic look that he had insisted on because he said that Olivia was a classy woman. Cragen had helped him pick out the cuff links that adorned his shirt. Captain Cragen was also responsible for tying Elliot's bow tie, a feat that he himself could not master no matter how many times he had tried.

Captain Cargen walked over to the changing tent that Olivia was occuping. He waited in his dark colored suilt and matching tie. His white shirt was crisp and even the Captain opted for a shoeless event.

"Casey?" Captain Cragen called out for her.

"Yeah, were coming out right now." Casey replied grabbing Olivia's hand to lead her out.

"Wait, wait!" Olivia stopped and grabbed for Caey's hand.

"What? What's wrong Liv, you can do this." Casey responded.

"No, no I can't...not without you as my maid of honor." Olivia was smiling at Casey.

"Will you?" she asked.

"Well, I am glad I wore this dress huh?" Casey said looking at Olivia. "I wouldn't have it any other way." Casey led Olivia outside to Captain Cragen.

"Olivia?" Captain Cragen asked holding his arm out for her to take it. "May I Walk you down the aisle" Captain Cragen asked. He had never had the opportunity to walk anyone down the aisle and he always considered Olivia as her daughter. He waited expectanly for her reply.

Olivia was taken aback not just by the offer but the fact the he was in on this whole production. Here stood the only man that she had ever known as a father. He was firm and disciplined her behavior when needed but he also was relentless in letting her know that she was a woman with value and he loved her. With tears welling in her eyes she responded.

"I would be honored if you would give me away." She placed her arm around his and walked with him as he led her to her groom.

XXXXXXXXXX

The pastor of the church Olivia had attended off and on was named Samuel Bedingfield. Elliot had remembered his name from the magnet on Olivia's refridgerator, Elliot had never met him before he started planning the ceremony and was surprised to find that he was tall in stature, blond hair cut short almost shaved completely. His green eyes were relaxing and inviting as Olivia began her walk over the white fabric that had been laid by other helpers employeed by Elliot while Olivia changed.

As Olivia walked naturally down the path she and Captain Cragen eventually ended facing the Pastor with Elliot on their left and Casey on their right.

"Who gives this woman, Olivia Benson, away?" The pastor's voice spoke softly and with boldness.

"I do." Captain Cragen responded as he turned and kissed Olivia gently on the check and whispered in her ear "I love you like you are my daughter." With that he stepped back and Elliot assumed his position across from Olivia.

As Sammuel Bedingfield began with the standard speech Elliot and Olivis stared intently at one another. Elliot remembered the first time he had asked her out. He had fumbeled relentlessly for the words...she laughed at him reminding him they were partners.

Olivia was lost in Elliot's eyes letting a flood of memories infilterate her senses. She remembered the first time she had felt an attraction...certain pull to Elliot she smiled knowing what that felt like. Knowing it was what she was feeling right now.

Olivia's thoughts were suddenly interuppted.

"Olivia?" The pastor asked.

"Olivia snapped herself out of her thoughts realizing the pastor had just asked her if she would accept Elliot as her husband.

Olivia bowed her head slightly recalling all that had happened since she had met Elliot, how her heart had come back to life, how she finally found someone that could make her blush...

"Absolutely." She responded through teary eyes.

The pastor shifted his body slightly in Elliot's direction "And do you El - "

"Absolutely" Elliot cut the pastor off mid sentence.

"Um..." The pastor fumbled. "Okay, the rings then?" He asked smiling at the love that was before him.

Captain Cragen stepped up handing Elliot two small objects he had retrieved from the boxes Casey gave him. Elliot handed one ring to Olivia and held the other securly in his hand.

"Elliot, I understand you want the rings placed on the right hand?" The pastor asked ensuring he understood the unusaly request.

"Yes." Elliot responded as he took Olivia's hand. "Liv, I know that if the circumstances were different you would never want to hide our love, so I thougth it would be best if we wore our rings on our right hands. It's a symbol of our love that only you and I will understand." Olivia shook her head in agreement, the tears were chocking her voice.

Elliot presented a solid band of platinum to Olivia with his name engraved on the inside of the ring. He slipped the ring slowly over her finger and whispered "I love you Olivia."

Olivia reached for Elliot's hand and slipped a matching ring on his right hand with the engraving of Olivia's name on the inside. " I love you too Elliot." She managed to say through a tight throat.

"Very well." Came the Pastor's voice. "By the power vested in me by the state of New Jersey I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride Mr. Stabler."

Elliot positioned himself closer to Olivia and gently lifted her veil revealing a tear stained faced. She looked at him with eyes that he had never seen as stunning as today. The sun was almost fully peaking over the watery horizon, the reflection bouncing off of her skin and causing her to glow. He placed one hand on her cheeck and the other on her waist drawing her body into his. He kissed her gently on the mouth seperating her lips with his tongue. They explored one anothers mouth like they had not done before.

Casey stood with tears in her eyes. Finally Olivia had found some peace in her life and Casey was happy to be witness to it. Captain Cragen stood with a smile on his face inspite of the fact that he had put his career on the line to see the two people he considered to be his family finally get what they so richly deserved...to be with oneanother.

Elliot withdrew from Olivia's lips watching her as her eyes remained closed, absorbing the fact that she had just taken the biggest leap of her life into unrelentless trust. Olivia was trusting Elliot with every aspect of her being and Elliot knew it.

"Open your eyes." He whispered, turning her to face the fully risen sun. "It's a new day Olivia...a new life with me and you."

Olivia looked back at Elliot whispering through a smile "A new day has come."


	34. Chapter 34 Great Minds Think Alilke

CHAPTER 34

"So Mrs. Stabler?" Elliot enjoyed the way those words sounded. He opened the car door allowing Olivia to enter as he placed the wedding dress and tuxedo in the back seat. Elliot went to the drivers side taking the standard driving postion.

"So Mr. Stabler?" She responded with a smile. " I have a question for you detective." She turned in her seat to face him. She could see Casey and the Captain already pulling out of the parking lot. Elliot started to back the car when she spoke. "How long have you been planning this little shindig?"

"Mentaly or physically?" He asked her with a devious smile.

Olivia let out a laugh "Wow...um both." She was shocked to see how giddy she was.

"Mentally, I have been planning this since the day I met you. Physically I started planning it the night you asked me about Las Vegas." He smiled. "I didn't want you to get married without those who are closest to you Liv. I knew you would secretly hurt if you got married with no one with you in some cheezy Las Vegas chapel." He took her hand in his. "You deserved more than that."

Olivia enjoyed feeling his fingers interwoven with hers. She looked out of the car window at the sceanary and then gasped. "El! Your going the wrong way!" Olivia looked behind her through the rear window watching the city distance itself from her vision. "El? Where are we going?" she asked once more.

Elliot handed Olivia a black blindfold much like women wore when they slept. He didn't know the correct word for it but told her to put it on anyhow. She did so reluctantly, not exactly appreciating being blindfolded but deciding to trust her husband nonetheless.

XXXXXXXXXX

Olivia could feel the car stop and Elliot turn the engine off. "Wait just a second." He told her as he got out of the vehicle and opened the door. He took her hand allowing her to exit the vehicle slowly. She was unsure of herself due to the blindfold but placed her hand in Elliot's as he guided her. She smelled the scent of fresh cut grass, hear birds calling but the sounds of honking horns and metros were no longer audible.

"Careful, theres four stairs here." Elliot cautioned her. She took hold of Elliot with both of her hands as she navigated her way up the stairs that made noise under the weight of both of them. Olivia assumed she was walking up wooden stairs.

"Where are we El?" Olivia asked. 

"Hold on, were almost there." He told her reassuring her. She heard what sounded like a key entering a door knob and then the click of a lock releasing it's grip of the door. Suddenly Olivia felt her feet come out from under her.

"AHHHH!" She exclaimed as she felt Elliot's arms under her legs suporting her in his arms.

"It's customary, to carry the bride over the threshold." Elliot said walking her through a door and placeing her softly in the middle of a room.

"Thresh..." Elliot took Olivia's blindfold off before she could question him. "hold?" she completed as she slowly turned around taking in what was before her. "Oh...my...goodness." Olivia continued to turn. "El? This is beautiful!" She told him as he embraced her from behind.

"I had Frankie, my old construction boss and his crew come over and completely remodel it so that it had a 'city feel'. Just because were in the country doesn't mean we can have great taste right?" He asked her kissing her softly on her neck. She turned and looked at him.

"Elliot, this day is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Thank you so much." She told him taking his face gently into her hands. She stepped closer to him and kissed him softly on his lips.

"I have one more thing to show you Liv." Elliot said in between their lip dance.

"Are you kidding? You've already done so much Elliot." Olivia looked into his eyes with a feeling of love that she was not accustomed to.

"Come with me." He whispered to her taking hold of her hand and leading her down a hallway. They stopped at a closed door. "Liv," He told her taking her right hand into his . "I love you so much, I had something made for us, for our room." He nodded his head towards the closed door.

"This is the masterbedroom?" Olivia asked smiling, fully aware of what married people are capable of doing in a masterbedroom.

"Yep...I am pretty sure were going to have lots of fun." Elliot replied still holding her hand as he led her inside, she followed close behind into a very spacious room.

"Wow – it's huge!" She said looking first at nothing in particular, she noticed there was a bed and dressers but she was amazed at the size, there was no apartment in the city capable of having a room this size without costing a small fortune.

"I had a wall taken out...this is actually two rooms." He pointed to wear a wall once was but Olivia noticed what was hanging on the opposite wall directly in front of the bed on a very large wall.

"Wow, El. They're gorgeous!" She responded in amazement. She walked closer to four large scale, framed, pictures on the wall. The black and white pictures seemed, at first to have no connection, until she was within distance.

"El?" She asked as he stood beside her. "This picture?" She pointed to it. A scenic picture of a large tree in front of a lake with a small white bridge. "Where was this?" She asked him knowing full well it was familiar.

"You don't remember?" He asked her, suggesting she should take a closer look.

"This was...this was where we had our first date isn't it?" She asked him

"Yep, I recreated it the next day, same time, place and materials we had." Elliot smilied as Olivia moved to the second photo of a secluded bridge that had lights shinning in the dark.

"What is this like our fifth date." She asked smiling at the fact that he had remembered such intimate details.

"Actually that was the first time you let me hold your hand. Our first kiss later that night when I dropped you off." He smiled stepping closer to her, placing his hands on her waist. "The third one is the first time you told me you loved me Liv." Elliot said taking her into his arms and kissing her passionately on her mouth. They inhaled deeply through their noses, inhaling the very sensualness of one another.

"El?" She asked breaking the kiss but still standing as close as possible. "Why's the other one covered?" She gestured to the black cloth covering the fourth picture.

"Take it off and see for yourself." He whispered. Olivia gently tugged on the cloth and allowed in to drop to the hard wood floor. She took a deep breath as she saw a picture of the very room they stood in. The sun shinning in from the right through the french doors. The wind carressing the white billowing curtins. The cherrywood platform bed that was perfectly made in the room was disheveled in the picture, the white down comforter barely hanging on to one corner. Elliot pulled her close. "It's the first time we made Love." He whispered to her with intensity in his eyes.

He held her close kissing her softly on her forehead, cheek and lips. " I want to make love to you Olivia." He whispered quietly almost inaudible. He walked backward with her in his arms suddenly Olivia broke free from him.

"What? Did I do something wrong?" He asked, she was still inches from his mouth.

"No." She whispered. She stepped away and then called back to him. "I forgot I have something for you." She returned to the room in a manner of moments. "I didn't know what to get you so I made it, I've been carrying it around with me afraid to give it to you. I think it's kind of silly but..." She smiled handing him a small box about the size of her opened hand.

"Liv you didn't have to get me anything, you being by my side is the best gift." He said to her accepting the box.

"Well, like I said it's silly, so don't get your hopes up." She laughed. "Open it."

Elliot took the top of the box off and moved the dark blue tissue paper from the precious cargo Olivia so labourously fought to protect in the wrapping. Elliot thought to himself that this gift had to be important, had to be from her heart because not only did she go through a great deal of effort to wrap it securely...she was also biting her bottom lip as he opened it.

Once the gift was visible Elliot smiled looking up at Olivia "Great minds think alike." He let out a soft laugh. Out of the box he pulled a small frame. Inside it's borders was a piece of parchment paper much like what would have been written on by kings.

"Read it El." Olivia said with a nervousness in her voice. Elliot looked at the work which was a poem written by Olivia's hand. He sat oon the foot of the bed and pulled Olivia close to him, he could smell her as he read.

At First Glance

Walking into the room,

His blue eyes called my heart from it's lonely cave.

Walking past him, his smile released me from my perpetual doom,

At first glance my heart succumbed to being his slave.

"Hello" He sounded,

The roar of his voice urging my intellect to flee.

His moving lips perfectly rounded,

At first glance lightening struck within me.

My senses flooded by his scent,

"This is insanity." My conscience screamed from above.

This feeling so foreign to me, would not relent,

At first glance I knew love.

Elliot very gently laid the frame on the harwood floor at the foot of the bed and returned to his bride. He stood to his feet starring into her eyes, not saying a word but at the same time communicating his love to her. He covered her waist with his hands drawing her to his body. She could feel the contours of his muscels against her breast. He gently guided her mouth to his with the soft caress of his hand. Olivia's heart was beating faster as she felt his hands explore her body.

As they kissed Olivia ran her hands over Elliot's chest and slowly began to unbutton his shirt with one hand while she carressed his neck with the other. When she found herself at the last button she let out a small laugh seperating the kiss. She removed Elliot's shirt allowing it to collide with the ground. She traced his muscels with her fingertips starting from his chest and venturing down to his belt. She unbuckeled it slowly and began kissing him again.

Elliot gently removed her hands from his waist causing Olivia to step back. He smiled at her and stepped out of his shoes, slipping off his socks. Olivia bowed her head as Elliot stepped into her again and caressed her waist unbuttoning her jeans. She could feel the warmth of his hands moving around her waist and meeting eachother in the small of her back. Elliot pushed her pants down allowing her to step out of them. She stood their in front of her husband.

"I love you Olivia." He whispered to her touching the hem of her shirt. She shuddered out of fear. Elliot took her hands and placed them back at the button of his pants allowing her to make him vulnerable first. She looked at him eye to eye, pushing his pants down allowing him to step out of them. Both stood their, bare foot and half naked.

He returned to her mouth and slowly pioneered a trail with his tongue down her neck. He placed his hand on the small of her back and pulled her to him as he walked backwards to the bed. Just before he sat Olivia took hold of the waistband of his boxers. Elliot covered her hands with his and guided her in removing his last piece of clothing. Elliot was naked before his wife for the first time. Olivia did not look at him in his nakedness but instead guided his hands in the removal of her black underwear.

She stood before him still reluctant to remove her shirt. She could feel him against her as he stepped into her, pulling her tightly to him. He layed her gently on her back, his arms guiding her to the top of the bed.

He sat up pulling her into his lap her bare legs against his. Her clothed breast inches from his face. He manuvered his hands softly over her thighs following them to the soft valley of her back. He traveled up releasing her bra stap as she kissed him. He could feel the rise and fall of her chest against him. In the quietness they wanted one another.

Olivia adjusted herself so she rested on her knees still in his lap facing him. He moved his hands to her front the warmth of him over her breast. He slowly removed his hands and took hold of her shirt hem again.

"It's okay." he whispered sensing her trepadation. Olivia finally allowed him to remove her shirt, her hair falling over his face, she was naked and vulnerable before the man she loved for the first time. He kissed her softly on the lips and moved down her neck, as she arched her back he found his lips against her breast. He gently put her on her back again, her head resting in the pillows. He traced her body with one hand allowed his tongue to follow back down her body.

As Elliot's mouth glided over the scars she bore he could feel her breathing harder. He kissed her wounds softly as she placed her arms above her head. Elliot met her eyes once more and hovered his body over hers. She could feel him against her tighs, he was ready to make love.

"Please don't hurt me." She whispered to him.

"Never." He whispered back to her as he gently inserted himself into her.

Elliot allowed her warmth to envelop him. The satisfaction of his wife awakened every cell in his body. Olivia wrapped her arms around him, kissing him gently as she felt him moving within her. She arched her back when the intensity became overwhelming. She did not speak or make a sound but enjoyed the gentleness of her husband.

Elliot moved with her gently rolling over to allow her to dominate him. She moved at her own descretion running her fingers through her hair exposing her breast before him. She laid her body onto his chest allowing him to invad her deeper still. Elliot began with the softest whimpers of passion encouraging Olivia to let go of all her inhabitions. She remained silent focused only on his body against hers. In her silence she communicated her love for him. Elliot laid on his side with her infront of him, at the moment of climax they did so together facing one another. Olivia shuddered at a feeling she had never felt before and Elliot smiled seeing his wife enjoy him in such a manner. 

He withdrew himself from her allowing her to turn in the opposite direction so they could spoon with one another. They laid there for a few moments, with Elliot's arms wrapped around hers keeping her safe. She was smiling in her silence.

"Liv? Your quiet." Elliot whispered in her ear.

"I am sorry." She replied not sure if she had done something wrong. "You didn't like it?" she asked biting her lip.

"Are you kidding me?" Elliot spoke up. " You were amazing Olivia. Your sexy, being with you was like having all of the atoms in my body explode at once." He told her smiling. "I think the question is...did you enjoy _yourself_ Mrs. Stabler?"

"Your incredible." She reached behind her to touch his face. "I never knew being so vulnerable could feel so good."

"Well, we have many a year to explore one another's vulnerability." Elliot laughed pulling her closer to him. If he could he would never let her go.

"El?" She asked.

"Yeah?" he replied.

"You think were gonna catch the guy who did this?" She asked softly guiding his hand over her scars. She wanted to be happy but knew she could never feel that way as long as he was free to stalk her.

"I thought we could start on that first thing in the morning...save the honeymoon for later?" He told her.

She laughed realizing she hadn't even thought of a honeymoon and then remianed silent allowing him to hold her.

"Thank you." She said softly

"For what?" He whispered holding her tighter.

She turned her face to look at him "For redeeming me."


	35. Chapter 35 I want to hear you

CHAPTER 35

Olivia stirred awake from her sleep. Elliot's sleeping face only inches from her own. She examined the man she just made love to closely. His eyes were closed, relaxed. A slight smile adorned his lips. Olivia smiled and moved closer to his lips kissing him softly as he slept. Olivia adjusted the sheets to allow her closer access to Elliot's body. Olivia placed her tongue in one corner of his lips and and allowed it to walk to the opposite side. Elliot's lips began to respond in spite of his sleep.

Olivia adjusted her body so that she was hovering over her husband, her knees straddeling him. She kissed himsoftly on his forehead and cheeck. Elliot was still not moving although his smile was larger. The nakedness of the two allowed her to feel him. What's it gonna take to wake him up? She thought to herself. Then it hit her.

She started to run her mouth over his chest her tongue rising and falling with the contours of his muscels. His scent was walking into her nostrils. She continued further stopping to fondel his belly button with her tongue. She shifted her entire body lower her mouth kissing Elliot's legs softly, she glossed over his tigh and moved to his inner tighs and the treasures that laid there. Elliot stirred again as he felt the warmth of Olivia's tongue harassing his shaft.

Elliot's eyes embraced his surroundings jerking him awake.

"Liv?" He asked just as her mouth took him inside her. "Oooh. Liv...that-stop please." Elliot said his voice indicating that he had taken great pleasure in what was happening.

"Stop?" She asked her eyebrows raised. She looked at him utterly confused. "You want me to stop? I thought this was everyman's dream?" She told him as she pulled herself back up to the pillows beside him.

"What's wrong El?" She asked concerned.

"Absolutely nothing...I just..." His voice trailed off.

"What?" She asked

"I just want to know that you are absolutely okay with that...that you don't feel it's degrading...we hadn't really talked about it." Elliot told her in a rather matter of fact tone.

"Elliot...were married. I'll try everything once." She smiled.

Elliot could not hold back the smile that he was beaming with. "Well, in that case...I want to hear you Liv." He said smiling at her. "Let go of yourself...go with it." He encouraged her.

"I just..." Olivia's voice cracked. "I don't know what I sound like." She bit her lip.

"Well." Elliot said with a devious smile. He pulled back the sheet from Olivia's naked body. "Let's find out...shall me." He slid down over her body. Placing his hands under her knees as she laid on her back. He pushed her legs and stretched his hands over her abdomen. He took one last look at her. Her face was nervous as she continued to bite her lip. Elliot smiled at her and kissed the outter lips of the pleasant valley between her thighs. His tongue moved closer seeking out the spot he knew would make her go insane. He knew he found it when she grabbed the sheets and arched her neck back. Elliot continued to suck harder, vasilating between feeling her with his tongue and concentrating on her cliterois. Olivia's body was flush with passion, warm with desire. Her back arching higher and higher. She began to moan softly at first. She placed her hand to the back of his head deepining the movements he made. Her moans increasing in sound with each invasion of his tongue.

"Elliot.." She managed to call out his name as he inserted two fingers inside her. Her moans and whimpers were completey audible to Elliot. He was enjoying hearing the passionate agony in her voice. He could feel himself hardening just listening to his wife enjoying his mouth. Sensing Olivia's climax was close he he positioned his body over hers allowing himself to be lubricated with her own oils. He slid into her pushing himself to hear her.

"I love you Olivia." He told her inbetween breaths.

Her precious moans were her only means of communication. Just as Olivia's body became rigid with her climax Elliot's cell phone rang. He kept going.

"El..." She said still aware he was within her pressing against her cervix. She was cumming again as she said it. "You have to answer it." Her body went limp again as she felt Elliot releasing his potential within her.

"Oh, man, this better be go...I said no phone calls, for just one day." Elliot said in frusteration knowing he had to leave the warmth of his wife. He withdrew himself and reached for the phone.

"Stabler" He said trying to catch a better wind. Olivia was already running the shower water.

"Elliot, this is Ryan from the lab." Elliot rolled his eyes and threw himself back on the bag.

"Your timing sucks Ryan." Elliot said exaughsted.

"Yeah? Well, we need to meet." Ryan said mysteriously.

"Why? Can it wait?" Elliot asked him.

Ryan took a deep breath. "Old man, I hate to bring this up, but we got a big problem."


	36. Chapter 36 Wow you an addict or what?

CHAPTER 36

"Olivia." Elliot called out as he pulled back the shower curtain. He was stark naked.

"Ah" Olivia was startled, instinctively she tried to cover herself.

"It's just me." He said with a soft smile as he stepped into the shower. Olivia relaxed once she understood that Elliot was safe to be vulnerable with. "Were you expecting someone else?" He teased her turning her to face him.

"No, Diam just not use to be married." She laughed putting her arms around his neck. She leaned into kiss him softly. "You know-" She said in between their kissing. "Were a little out of balance don't you think?" She said smiling.

"What do you mean?" He asked confused but not yet alarmed.

"Well-" She playfully ran her finger down his chest. The warm water soaking both of their bodies. She was at his belly button. "You walked my happy trail – when do I get to walk yours?" She smiled as her hand stroked him.

"Well, as good as that sounds there's a problem?" He said turning the water off and grabbing for a towel.

"What?" Olivia said. She was starting to take offense. _Am I not doing something right_? She questioned herself.

"We have to meet Ryan now. He's waiting for us." Elliot placed the towel around her and helped her out of the shower.

"What's wrong El? Why do we have to go now?" She stopped him by grabbing his hand.

"Tell me." her voice was desperate.

"I honestly don't know." He told her placing his hand on her cheek. "He just said there was a problem. That we had to go now." Elliot stepped in the other room to allow her to get dressed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Olivia! How are you?" Ryan said standing as Olivia and Elliot approached him. Elliot was insulted that Ryan didn't say hi to him. He squinted his eyes.

"Good to see you too Ryan." Elliot said reminding Ryan of his manners that he was obviously lacking.

"Keep your depends on Elliot. I was getting to you. How are you?" Ryan said placing several case folders on the counter. He reached for a large rolled piece of paper. What was it? Maybe a blue print or something similar?

"Ryan? What's all this for?" Olivia asked

"Olivia, my wife called me a couple of days ago. She had just finished a conference dealing with old crimes more like cold case files and such. One of the common denominators was that more often than not the cold cases were linked with other cases providing more evidence." Ryan paused to take a quick gulp of his starbucks frapaccino. When his taste buds were satisfied he placed the half full container next to several others.

"Wow- Ryan? You an addict or what?" Olivia said pointing to his stockpile of empty Starbucks coffee cups.

"It allows me to work later." Ryan said spastically as he opened a file folder. "Olivia I want to double check the parameters of your specific case." He said looking at her waiting for her acknowledgments.

"Okay..." She said hesitantly.

"He attacked you in your home correct?" He asked avoiding her eye contact. He knew this was going to suck for her.

"Ryan? How do you know this?" She asked him.

"LaRue gave me a copy of your case file, when I explained my hunch he thought you would be okay with it...anything to catch him right?" He looked at her and Elliot.

"Are you okay with this?" Elliot asked her softly.

Olivia shifted nervously in her seat and replied. "Sure go ahead." She whispered.

"Okay, so in your home?" Ryan continued pencil in hand.

" Yes, my apartment." She replied looking at the ground. She started playing with her wedding ring on her right hand.

"He burned you with his cigarette correct?" He asked her.

"Yes." Olivia was biting her lip. As Ryan check appropriate boxes on his paperwork.

"He cut and stabbed you?" He was ready to check the next box. Olivia nodded her head in agreement but could not look at either man in the room.

"He carved the date of the attack into your abdomen after he raped and beat you?" Ryan's voice was much lower.

Olivia's eyes were watering. Elliot had enough. "Ryan! Come on is this necessary?"

"I am just double checking before I open up this can of worms Elliot. I don't want to be the one to rehash this crap but it is necessary with what I am about to show you two so unless your a monkey get off my back _Detective_._" _Ryan was equally frustrated

Elliot stood "You piece of sh-" he was reaching for Ryan.

"Both of you cut it out!" Olivia screamed in frustration.

"Elliot - can't you see he likes to pull your chain and you let him do it every time?" Olivia was frustrated. Elliot knew she was right. He sat back down slowly eyeballing Ryan.

"Ryan?" Olivia addressed him. "How about we just say that everything you have is accurate okay?" Her legs were bouncing up and down as she sat in her chair. Elliot felt like an idiot.

"Sure Olivia." Ryan said. "Here's the deal. I ran the parameters of your attack I got some matches." Ryan pulled out the large rolled paper. He ran his fingers through it straightening it. He placed his frapaccino in one corner to hold it down and case files in the other three.

"This is a map of where Olivia lived when she was attacked." Ryan began to explain his diabolical theory. " See this red arch I've drawn here?" He said pointing to the mark he made with a sharpie.

"Yeah what gives?" Olivia asked.

"Well...they're connected by motive." Ryan looked at them surprised that they were lost.

"Uh...Ryan? Were not overachievers...explain this." Elliot said

"Well, I was looking at this map and I realized that this arch, if it continued, would go into another jurisdiction. I called my wife and had her run the same parameters through the F.B.I's computer..." Ryan's voice trailed off he slowly unrolled another map, refusing to look at either of the detectives that were in front of him.

"What's this?" Elliot asked looking closer at the map.

"It's the entire state." Olivia said mortified at the red marks made on the chart.

"Olivia," Ryan's voice was barely audible. "My wife gave me two pages of cases that matched your case." He hung the map on a dry erase board usually used for brainstorming. "It took me awhile." He said using magnets to secure the map. "But I managed to chart each attack and this is what I got." Ryan stepped back allowing Elliot and Olivia to observe his wicked creation. "I thought it was the number 08." He said stepping back to the board to trace the square letters. "But then I realized that..." Before he finished Olivia spoke.

"Then you realized..." Her voice was tense, cracking under the terrible realization she just had came to. "That it wasn't a number." She walked to the board. "It's not Zero Eight" She pointed to the board and then faced Elliot biting her lip and shaking "It's my initials... O.B"


	37. Chapter 37 Are these women alive

CHAPTER 37

Olivia stood in front of the chart staring at the squared red letters in front of her. As Olivia counted the connected red dots her eyes swelled. "Eleven." She spoke out loud lowering her head and shoving her hands in her pockets. Elliot approached her gently placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Olivia, you are not responsible for what he has done." His words were equivalent to a band aid over a gunshot wound. Olivia used her thumb to destroy the tear that was vacillating between staying in her pooled eye or dropping out into freedom.

"Are these women alive Ryan?" Elliot asked him.

Ryan looked at the two detectives and pressed his lips together "Yes they are." he said bending over to pick up a large evidence box and allowing it to slam onto the counter, it caused a startle in both Elliot and Olivia.

"What's that?" Asked Olivia turning to avoid the map with her initials.

"Copies of all of the 'red dots'" Ryan responded taping his fingers on the lid of the box.

"Copies?" Elliot was offended. _Why doesn't 'Ryan the pup' trust us with the real thing?_ He thought to himself.

"Keep your blood pressure low Elliot. I got you copies because this is getting crazy. In order to nail this guy your gonna have to get things on the record Olivia." Ryan spoke as a father would to a child with a poor report card. Olivia shook her head dazed but still in agreement.

"I've managed color copies of the pictures for Mr. Anal Retentive here." Ryan told Olivia gesturing to Elliot who had already removed the map, rolled it and handed it to Olivia, who was smiling at Ryan's remark. Elliot raised an eyebrow at Olivia which made her smile larger.

Elliot picked up the box and walked to the exit using his back to open the door.

"Hey Ryan." Elliot paused in the threshold.

"Yes?" Ryan responded not looking up from his work.

Elliot smiled to himself. "Try not to choke on your own cockiness will ya?" Elliot followed Olivia out the door.

Olivia shook her head and smiled faintly. "You two, I am gonna call the honeymooners."

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Elliot walked our of the master bedroom of their home just as Olivia was placing the telephone handset back into its cradle. The hollow expression on her face told Elliot she was distressed.

"We just moved in and already telemarketers?" Elliot knew that wasn't the case but who could be calling? Elliot himself had not even memorized the house number yet.

"I called Cragen." Olivia said turning to face Elliot.

"Oh?" He said leaving the conversation in her court.

"Everyone is coming here – they're on the way." She said glibly.

"Everyone?" Elliot stepped back. "Who's everyone?" He asked her.

"With this many vics we will need Munch and Fin, and in order to get this guy in jail were gonna need to completely fill in Casey." Olivia paused allowing Elliot to digest everything she just said.

"Are you angry with me?" She whispered looking away.

Elliot took her face into his hands and kissed her, an act that startled Olivia at first. _Shouldn't he be angry?_ She thought as his lips caressed her's. He separated from her but remained close to her face. "Look at me Liv." She hesitantly looked into his eyes only inches from her own.

"Olivia, for better or for worse – remember?" He whispered to her. "I am not angry, I told you we are going to get through this together and I meant it." He brought her into his chest and held his wife.

"I guess we should look at those case file while we are waiting." Olivia suggested as she gave Elliot a final kiss on his cheek and walked to the dinning room. As she took the lid off the box, Elliot covered her hand with his.

"Whatchya doin'? He asked her playfully.

"I just told you...the case files." She responded confused.

"No I mean why here?" He smiled as he took the box into his hand.

" The dining room table is huge and we are going to need the space for all of these cases."

she said matter of factly.

"Follow me Mrs. Stabler." Elliot said as he walked down a hallway – his bare feet producing low slapping sounds against the hardwood floors. Elliot spoke as he walked "I haven't given you a full tour." He said stopping in front of a door and motioning for Olivia to open it. She did allowing Elliot to walk into the room first then her.

"WOW" Olivia blurted out as Elliot placed the box on a customized drafting desk that spanned the wall length.

"This room use to be the den." Elliot said with a smile.

"No way!" Olivia was surprised at the size of the room, the dry erase board covered the opposite wall near the desk. A filing cabinet and other various office utilities were in the room.

"The miracles of a sledge hammer and sheet rock." Elliot laughed putting his hands int eh air and declaring "Ta Da, our very own miniature one-six."

"Wow, this is amazing – no more sleep overs in the crib." She stopped close to Elliot. "Of course, we may not sleep much here either." She said taking hold of the button on the front of Elliot's pants. Elliot braced himself against the wall kissing her. He shuddered feeling her hands caress him. She allowed his pants to free fall to the floor. She slowly knelt before him and began to pull at the bottom of his boxer briefs. Olivia managed to get the waistband as far as his thighs before Elliot suddenly pulled his boxers back up covering himself.

"Elliot?" She stood up facing him. "Why are you nervous about this?" She asked him softly.

"N...n...ner...nervous? Me? No, not nervous." He said bright red.

"Right." Olivia half smiled. "You stutter because you exude confidence?" She was teasing him. "Seriously, please tell me?" She placed one hand around his neck and the other over his chest.

"I...um... my first case at SVU." Elliot swallowed hard. He never talked about this with anyone. But he would be a hypocrite if he encouraged Olivia to make herself vulnerable to him and he not do the same to her. "This is going to sound so stupid Liv." He was blushing with a nervous smile.

"It's okay Elliot. I love you." Those were the vary words Elliot had spoken over Olivia when he touched her scared abdomen for the first time. "Tell me." She whispered softly.

"A girl found out her boyfriend was cheating. To get back at him so before she confronted him she seduced him, tied him up and started to perform...you know..oral sex." Elliot was clearing his throat, Olivia recognized it as his nervous reaction.

"El, our job is stressful, and the nature of it...it's bound to mess with our minds." She said reassuring him. "And our sex drives." She added.

"She waited until he was going to climax and then snip." Elliot said turning his fingers into make believe scissors. "Since then, I have always had trouble with it, it's nerve racking." He lowered his head. He was man and normal men don't turn this act down. Elliot felt ashamed and humiliated in front of his new wife.

"What can I do to help you?" She asked him softly.

"I suppose I am just scared." He chuckled realizing that perhaps it was an odd connection to make considering they had seen so much worse on the job together.

"Elliot" Olivia whispered kissing him softly on his lips. "It's okay." She traveled his neck softly, repositioning her hands on his waistband. She knelt again slowly lowering his boxers with her body. She could feel him tense up. "Elliot, It's me. It's okay." She reassured him. Elliot removed her hands giving her reign over his body.


	38. Chapter 38 You owe me fifty bucks

CHAPTER 38

Elliot's body grew flush with desire as Olivia held him with her mouth. For Olivia this was a totally new experience. Having never done this she, at first, almost gagged. She placed her hands on his quadriceps muscles and moved rhythmically over his shaft, her moist lips providing a smoother path, she could feel Elliot becoming more enlarged as she walked her tongue from the base the the tip, fondling the head.

Elliot moaned for his wife. He slowly slid down the wall guiding Olivia to the floor where he lay on his back allowing his wife to dominate him. When Elliot's body became tense she withdrew her lips from his length and slowly pushed up his shirt exploring his cut abdomen with her lips and tongue.

When she sensed he was ready for more she returned to the once hidden treasure. She took him back into her mouth using gentle suction at first and slowly increasing the pressure. Elliot tangled his fingers into her hair. Passionately calling her name in a tender growl. The sweet agony he was feeling made his body stiffen, his neck arch and his toes curl. He was moaning louder, calling for her louder.

"Olivia." He managed to whisper hoarsely as he felt her lips over and over again.

"Olivia." He repeated causing her to stop and look up.

"Am I doing it wrong?" She asked astounded he wanted her to stop so close to his climax.

"No," He said panting. He sat up and frantically began to unbuckle her pants and remove her clothing. "I want you, I want to be inside you." He told her pulling her shirt over her head. Olivia didn't even try to stop him. Elliot pressed his lips against hers while he removed her bra and gently layed her on the floor. He was kneeling before her as he removed his shirt to reveal his chiseled physique. Olivia raised her hips allowing him to remove her panties.

Elliot straddled his naked wife. "How long do you think we have?" He asked her as he bent to kiss her softly on her neck. He loved the contours of her neck how they flowed into her shoulders and provided a new path for him to follow.

"fifteen maybe twenty" she responded shuddering as he blew lightly over her breast.

"Your absolutely gorgeous Olivia." He whispered making sure he stopped to kiss her scars. He made himself a promise to never make her feel like they repulsed him.

"I love you Elliot." She whispered through tears.

"Why are you crying?" Elliot asked concerned. He followed the trail of her tears with his lips gliding down her cheeks.

"I just never thought this could happen to me." She said wrapping her arms tightly around his naked body. She could feel him against her leg. She loved when he rested himself over her leg near her oasis of oil.

Elliot looked at her and as he slowly pushed himself into her she arched her back allowing him to put his strong hands under her. " I never thought this could happen to _me_." He told her plummeting further into her abyss. Each tap of her cervix with his head sent her further and further into orgasm. Until eventually Elliot released a moan so incredible it caused Olivia to jump slightly. He was still thrusting into her as she climaxed once more with her husband until his length and his body became limp.

Elliot withdrew himself and laid his leg possessively over her's holding her close to him her bare buttocks against his tired tool. They breathed in the sent of one another lying there naked and unashamed. Just as they're eyelids were about to close a sudden disturbance arose causing Olivia to jump so abruptly she accidentally hit Elliot in the mouth with the back of her head.

"Ah." He moaned holding his lip and checking for blood. Present.

"El, I am sorry." She told him compassionately kissing him. "Elliot we have to get dressed they're here.

Elliot jumped up grabbing for clothes. He frantically tried to dress himself. "What they heck my clothes don't fit?" He questioned allowed as he hopped on one foot trying to put on his jeans. Olivia searched hysterically for her underwear and bra. Slipping them on she looked at Elliot's predicament.

"El! Those are mine! Hurry up!" She said throwing him his and preparing to catch hers. She slipped them on and hastily pulled her shirt over her head. Elliot followed her.

"Your hair" He whispered as they walked to the door. He flattened out the disturbance and opened the door to the company that awaited them. At first there was a long and awkward pause as Cragen and the rest of the group looked at Elliot and Olivia. Suddenly, Munch began to laugh hysterically.

"Fin you owe me fifty bucks man." He said pointing at Elliot.

"Maybe he likes to wear lipstick." Munch protested pointing to Elliot.

Olivia turned to him and horrifically realized her simply sensual lipstick was all over him.

She was speechless stuck between wanting to run and wanting to wipe it off.

Noticing Olivia's reacting Munch pulled out his wallet and pulled out a fifty dollar bill handing it to Fin. "On second though you were right, they've been doing the horizontal polka."

"Oh spare me." Casey said. "Can we come in?" She asked. Olivia appreciated that she changed the story.

"Yes absolutely." Olivia said snapping out of her stupper. "Please make your selves comfortable" She said closing the front door and smiling sheepishly at Elliot. She returned to her guests... want something to drink? It's gonna be awhile."


	39. Chapter 39 Your Married? When?

CHAPTER 39

Elliot and Olivia returned to the living room where detective John Munch and the rest of the crew sat. Munch was a man in his later 40's, a full head of gray hair. He was slender, in fact, during handcuffing drills he had been known for slipping out of the cuffs. His face was worn, his skin rough. Olivia suspected childhood acme. And those ears? She could never get over how they stuck out from his head. He reminded her of the blowfish from the movie Finding Nemo. Olivia handed him a glass of tea and moved to face detective Tutuola.

Fin, was what Olivia preferred to call him. In fact, she wasn't sure how to spell his last name. Fin was short for his first name which was equally as bad as his last. Elliot had commented that Fin's parents screwed him right out of the gates. What Fin lacked in nomenclature he more than made up for in style. Surely he was the only detective to wear cuff links on the job. His three piece suits were constantly immaculate, and the tunning joke was that the shine from his shoes could give away his position in a shootout. HE pulled his hair back into a stiff ponytail and complimented his appearance with a dark goatee. Olivia finished giving the drinks to Cragen and Casey before she sat down opposite the four but next to Elliot.

"So?" Fin spoke "You and Olivia huh?" He was smiling and nudging Munch simultaneously. Olivia and Elliot blushed sheepishly...they were exposed but confidant they're friends would not report them. In fact, they seemed to enjoy the news.

"Guys, come on. Liv has something important she needs to -" Elliot couldn't complete his sentence.

"Wait. Hold up." Fin spoke "How long?" He asked again leaning into Elliot's space.

"Is it important?" Casey asked irritated he was being so nosy.

"You bet." He responded smiling a sneaky smile in Munch's direction.

"Oooooh – the power of a pun." Munch responded wiggling his fingers trying to sound spooky.

"Pun?" Elliot questioned.

Sensing this conversation was going nowhere fast, Olivia blurted out the answer. "Two years boys...geez."

Fin smiled a toothy grin and extended his hand palm up to Munch. He wiggled his middle and forefinger. "Pay up dough boy."

Munch reached into his jacket pocket. "Your worse than Uncle Sam." He muttered, opening his wallet and placing another fifty dollars in Fin's hand. Fin smiled and snapped the crisp bill.

"I've been eying this new tie." He said tucking it securely away.

"You bet on us regularly?" Olivia said shocked at Fin's accuracy.

"Only when it pays." Fin chuckled out loud.

"Gee, are there any more pools Olivia and I should know about?" Elliot said raising his eyebrows at Fin.

Munch started to return his nearly empty wallet to his jacket pocket when Fin stopped him. "Ya may as well keep it out. I'll be collecting here shortly." He said still looking at Olivia and Elliot.

"Fin!" Was the simultaneous outcry of Olivia and Elliot. Olivia shook her head smiling at his bluntness.

"Okay last one." Fin promised. "When you guys getting married?" He asked.

Olivia, Elliot, Casey and the Captain all gave one another awkward stares.

Fin's smile disappeared as he extended his palm to much. "Maybe I can get that new shirt too." He said disappointed he had not been invited to the wedding.

"Pay up? She didn't say anything." Munch protested.

"Look at them John – it's obvious. I was off by two months you were off by years..pay up." Fin insisted still looking at Elliot who could not return his stare.

"You guys are married?" John screeched in surprise. "When?"

"Yesterday" Olivia responded in a whisper.

"Yesterday?" Munch replied suddenly realizing Casey and Cragen weren't shocked. "They knew?" He asked obviously insulted. Olivia and Elliot shook they're heads as John folded his arms in front of him. "Congratulations." He muttered sarcastically. "Sorry I couldn't make it." He followed up.

"John, Fin." Olivia began. We weren't trying to hurt you – we just didn't want to jeopardize you're careers." She said gently hoping they understood. Both men pressed they're lips together.

"It's cool, I guess." Fin said.

"Yeah." Munch followed suit.

"Alright! Good. " Olivia began. "I didn't ask you all here to discuss my relationship with Elliot..." She looked downward taking in a large gulp of air. We brought you here for a case Elliot and I have been working." Fin and Munch leaned in close to absorb the words Olivia formed.

Olivia began her story from her mother's rape. She counted this as an ice breaker because everyone already knew about Olivia's conception. Olivia reached for Elliot's hand, feeling his fingers tangle together with her own gave her a source of strength. She would need all the strength she had to get through this conversation. She tried switching to cop mode but eventually broke and became Olivia again.

There was laughter with the chronicles of 'The fortune cookie' but even that laughter was overshadowed by the complexity of the case that blue printed Olivia's life. How do I tell them that Iam responsible for the rapes of eleven other women? How do you ask your friends to hunt the man who raped you?


	40. Chapter 40 I found your dot

CHAPTER 40

If a pin were to fall from the sky and collide with the hardwood floor the sound would be equivalent to a sonic boom in the Stabler's living room. Even Casey could not respond. She sat with her mouth agape. Having already known Olivia had been raped saddened her. Knowing it was Olivia's brother enraged her. The group sat together in awkward silence. Elliot held Olivia's shaking hand tighter in his grip, ensuring her that even if no one else accepted her, he still did.

Casey broke the silence. "Liv?" She said walking over to her and kneeling in front of her by the love seat she and Elliot were sitting on. Casey took hold of her friends hand. "Liv – your an awesome person!" She remarked with watery eyes. "I'll help you in any way I can. This doesn't change my opinion of you. Your still Olivia, your still strong, and your still a beautiful woman." Casey said reaching out and hugging Olivia in a warm embrace.

Munch and fin took they're dress jackets off and draped them over the sofa.

"I'm in Liv." Fin said.

"Whatdya got for me?" Munch replied looking at Olivia.

"Follow me." Elliot said standing to lead the group to the Mini one six.

"Hold on for a second." Cragen spoke donning his jacket. "Keep in mind this is an official case. Things need to be legitimized Olivia, if you know what I mean?" Olivia and Elliot knew Cragen meant that the physical evidence would have to be returned and rechecked to make it all look official. This could take weeks. "You all have a lot of work to do, I suggest you get started." Cragen walked over to Olivia and wrapped his fatherly arms around him. " I love you Olivia, hang in there." He said kissing her on the cheek and retreating back to the office.

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Elliot walked back into the miniature one six in their home carrying two extra chairs for Fin and Munch who were already looking over the files of the eleven other victims. Olivia was placing the last magnet on the map to secure it to the dry erase board.

"If you plot the location of the rapes this is what you get." She told Fin and Munch as she tapped on the red section.

"What's zero eight suppose to mean?" Fin asked.

"It's not zero eight, it's OB, my initials." Olivia said. "That's what I meant when I told you I had a lot of people's heartache on my hands."

"But the dates on these?" Fin spoke looking at various files. "Liv – they span over ten years." He spoke shocked.

"What?" Elliot asked. "Let me see those." Elliot walked closer and examined the dates. "Theres no connection with these dates." Elliot shook his head.

"Well, there may not be one with the dates but get a load of these." Casey had taken the pictures from the files that she had read. Casey posted them on the dry erase board. "Notice anything?" She asked sarcastically.

Olivia, Munch and Elliot stood staring at the pictures. "What the h-" Elliot was speechless. He quickly placed the pictures from the files he had in his hand next to the ones Casey already posted. Munch and Fin followed with the rest as Olivia stared in absolute shock.

"They could be my sisters." She spoke in a near whisper. Each girl looked nearly exactly like Olivia. The big brown eyes, bone structure, nearly the same height and weight. "He got it right down to the changes in my hairstyles." Olivia said staring through the board. She pointed to various pictures. "My graduation from the academy." She moved her finger to the next photo, "I cut my hair like this when passed my detectives exam." she continued to the third picture but Elliot cut her off.

"Wait, wait, wait." Elliot said looking for the list of dates Fin had compiled. "Liv – when did you graduate the academy?" He asked her grabbing a sharpie marker from a box and walking to the chart.

"November 25, 1995." She said furrowing her eyebrows, not following his train of thought.

Elliot wrote the date down next to the corresponding dot on the chart that represented the victim for that date. "Okay and when did you pass your detectives exam?" He asked ready to write the date.

"May 3, 1999." She said as she watched him write the next date. "Is there anything for October 16, 1997?" She asked starting to understand Elliot's theory.

Elliot looked at her with an apologetic face. "Yeah, what's that date mean?" He asked her writing it down.

"I received a medal from the commissioner for saving a young girl while I was off duty." She responded taking a deep breath. "He's followed my entire career hasn't he." She asked already knowing the answer.

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After two hours of brain storming the group finally established eight other dates that all corresponded with a significant moment in her life as a cop. All attacks came within seven days of Olivia's good fortune. From her sharp shooter medal to her acceptance into the SVU squad. Every success she had would now be overshadowed by a rape in Olivia's memory.

"This guy is a lunatic El." Olivia's mind was on overload. Her rapist attacked eleven other women that looked just like her in order to relive his time with her. "He's sick El."

"This has to be good enough for a warrant huh Casey?" Fin asked

"Well, wait a second." Casey responded searching for Olivia's file. She reopened the file after she'd set it aside unwilling to see Olivia in the condition the pictures spoke of.

"What? Come on Casey that's plent - " Elliot was cut off.

"El – just hear me out!" Casey said fed up. Sometimes Elliot didn't respect her because she wasn't a cop, but Olivia was hurting and she was willing to go to bat for her friend.

"Look..." She said holding a picture of Olivia's abdomen after the attack causing Olivia to wince and touch her own stomach.

"Yeah?" Elliot was lost in Casey's logic, why would she just pull out a picture like that., didn't she have any compassion? He thought.

"Look close..." She said letting them all see the picture she held. "He made it a point to put the dashes between the numbers of the date. It's hard to see but there are two puncture wounds here and here." She said pointing in between the 08 and the 26 and the 26 and the 95. Elliot hadn't noticed them, they were hard to see in the picture between the dried blood and sutures.

"Thats was why I didn't automatically understand it as a date." He said rubbing his chin in frustration.

"Elliot," Olivia finally realized what Casey was suggesting. "If she's right...there should be two more attacks." She walked over to the chart. Grabbed a blue marker and made a dot between the 'O' and the "B'. "When someone writes their initials they place dots between and after." Olivia turned to look at Elliot. "There has to be two more." She repeated. "Thirteen...an unlucky number." Tears pooled in her eyes.

Fin stared at the chart. "Can you think of any other important date Liv? It might help us track these two down."

Olivia rubbed the back of her neck and rotated her head as if working out a kink. It was her way of saying she was getting ready to break.

"Maybe we should take a break?" Elliot suggested.

"No, wait...My mother." Olivia said suddenly. "My mother died on August 11, 2004 check that date within seven days." She said in confidence.

"Liv, that doesn't match, it doesn't relate to your career and...it wasn't exactly happy." Elliot reminded her.

"El, Cragen told me she died while I was at work, I still closed that case out with that girl who faked her rape. He'll want to make sure I don't see that day as successful, check the dates El." She insisted again.

"Alright I'll call." He said reaching for his cellphone.

"No need." Munch spoke monotone starring at the chart with such intensity Elliot thought it would ignite.

"What do you mean?" Casey said trying to see whatever it was the Munch saw.

"Tamara Summers." Munch replied still looking at the chart.

"What?" Elliot asked "Whose that?"

John Munch pointed to the small space between the 'O' and the 'B'. "Tamara Summers was the young woman who was brutally raped and murdered here...I found your dot." Munch turned around to face his audience of stunned faces. "Her abdomen skin had been cut away...a trophy." He said looking down knowing that Olivia must be ready to collapse. It wasn't just rape now...now there was a murder.

"That doesn't explain the absence of the second dot." Olivia pointed to the chart. "There are no other important dates in my life." She rubbed her temples.

"Yes there is." Elliot whispered. The shock made his speech automatic.

"Excuse me?" She was stunned that perhaps Elliot knew something of her life that she didn't.

"Liv, yesterday you married me...a cop." He clenched his jaw.

Olivia turned to look at the chart speaking out loud but softly to herself "He's gonna kill again."


	41. Chapter 41 Let's do this

CHAPTER 41

"Fin call Cragen tell him to get back over here now!" Elliot began to bark out orders. "Casey get on the phone and get someone to get us a search warrant for his apartment. John, I need you to work you magic and legitimize every piece of evidence we have here. There can be no loop holes!" The detectives and Casey scurried about on their cell phones pacing to and fro like cockroaches when the lights are turned on.

Olivia left the room for a moment just as Casey got off the phone. "Okay, here's the deal guys." Casey returned the phone to her briefcase. " I got one of the guys at the office to write up the search warrant, I have to go an pick it up right now and have a judge sign it." Casey picked up her briefcase and left the room.

Casey stepped out onto the porch where Olivia was standing arms folded and head bowed. From the back Casey could see her shoulders shuddering. Olivia retreated out hear to cry.

Casey walked to Olivia placing her bag down beside the porch railing. She extended her hand to touch Olivia's shoulder. Olivia turned to her best friend.

"What have I done?" She whispered through tears. "So many women, it's my fault." She could not hold her composure. Olivia leaned into Casey and allowed herself to be comforted.

"This is not your fault." Casey said sternly with love. "Were gonna get him." She said holding Olivia tighter. "Go ahead, cry, get it all out." She said rubbing her back in a comforting motion.

Wondering where Olivia was Elliot had made his way to the porch observing the interaction between the two friends. After several minutes Olivia broke the embrace encouraging Casey to go about her duties to obtain the search warrant. Olivia turned, wiping her eyes only to run into Elliot.

"You okay Liv?" He asked her rubbing her arms trying to bring her some sort of comfort. He knew she was hurting. Her eyes were filling with tears again. "It's not your fault." He whispered pulling her closer to him. "It's not your fault." He repeated kissing her lightly on her forehead. She embraced Elliot warmly.

"How much time do we have?" Olivia straightened up and wiped her tears. "This crying crap has got to go." She mumbled letting out a small laugh.

"Three to six days." Elliot responded following Olivia back to the mini one six. "Olivia?" Elliot called for her to stopped in the hallway.

"Yeah?" She answered him.

"Promise me, you won't close up again. Promise me if the tears come...and they will come... that you'll let them go." He stood closely to his wife. Olivia was emerging from a twisted cocoon and Elliot did not every want her to close herself off again. Olivia looked at him searching his face intently and then stepped into him taking his face into her hands.

"I will always be real with you Elliot." She said colliding her lips with his. She broke the kiss and whispered in his ear "I promise."

Olivia walked back into the mini one-six and observed Fin still pouring over the material.

"Where's Munch?" Olivia asked noticing his absence.

"He's taking the evidence back to the other precincts to have the proper paper trail completed." Fin said standing up. All three stood staring at the chart in the room. They had less than a week to arrest her brother before he murdered one more woman in Olivia's memory.

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"Stabler." Elliot responded answering his cellphone.

"Elliot its Casey." The voice came over the line and Elliot mouthed Casey's name to Olivia and Fin who gathered the necessary belongings.

Olivia placed her badge on her belt and placed her holstered weapon on her hip. As she clipped the holstered .9mm she felt the cold steel of the handle. "_Could I kill my own_ _brother?_" She asked herself. She placed her hand over her shirt feeling the scares beneath it and answered her own question. "_Yes_."

"Alright were leaving now." Elliot said into the phone. He closed the flip phone and returned it to his pocket. "Let's go to your old apartment Liv, Casey is gonna meet us there then were gonna nail him."

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Elliot, Fin, Olivia and Captain Cragen sat in Olivia's old apartment. The surveillance loop was still running so there was no way he would know they were waiting for Casey Novak to deliver the search warrant. Munch had called only moments ago and was on his way back to Olivia's apartment as soon as he could.

"Are you able to do this Olivia?" Elliot asked her.

"El, he took so many years of my life...I want him." Her face was brilliant with determination. She was ready just as the knock came at the door. "It's Casey" She said exhaling and walking to the door. Olivia opened the door to find Casey holding two blue warrants in her hand.

"Two?" Olivia questioned allowing Casey to enter the apartment.

"I explained the case Olivia, here's your warrant..." She said handing one blue brief to Olivia and then followed with the next. "Heres your arrest warrant." Olivia slowly took it from Casey and took a deep breath turning to the rest of the team she spoke "Let's do it."


	42. Chapter 42 Thats him

CHAPTER 42

Olivia stood in front of the apartment that was five door to the right of her own. He took a deep breath and wrapped her knuckles on the door. "Police Department we have a warrant to search the premises." She yelled through the door confidant he would be at work. There was no answer so she repeated the process. Satisfied he was not home she turned to landlord who they had called before leaving her apartment. He inserted a key and turned allowing the door to open.

Olivia thanked the landlord assuring him she would return the keys. In the distance Munch was walking down the hallway. Looking at the door he laughed. "Well, then shall we get started?" He reached into his pocket pulling out a pair of latex gloves.

Olivia walked slowly through the hallway of the man who raped her. The house smelled of stale cigarettes and generic PinSol. Olivia stood in the middle of the apartment and looked carefully for anything that represented her. There was nothing.

The floors were hardwood, the walls were and void of any photos or paintings. No dishes in the dish strainer. One setting of plates in the cuburds. Olivia walked slowly into the bedroom. It felt too small. There was no bed only a futon. The closet reveled only the suits and ties of a man with good taste. Elliot soon joined her.

"Find anything?" He asked her.

"No, you?" She asked still looking around the room trying to determine why it did not seem correct to her.

"No we haven't found anything. Munch and Fin are still looking and Casey is even doing some searching." He told her trying to reassure her. Olivia walked closer to the wall of the room. She tapped it roughly and jumped back.

"El." She said startled.

"What is it?" He asked walking closer to the wall.

Olivia turned to Elliot, suddenly it clicked. "Elliot, this apartment is the same floor plan as mine, but do you notice something about this room?" She asked him raising her hands encouraging Elliot to take in the whole room.

"Not really." He told her confused.

"El, come on it's half the size of my room." She told him as she continued to fondle the wall. She didn't know what she was looking for but there had to be a way to get to the other side of this pseudo wall.

Elliot, suddenly aware of what Olivia was implying, called for the rest of the group who came rushing into the room.

"There's something here." Elliot said tapping on the wall producing a sound much different from the other walls.

"It's here." Casey called out opening a makeshift door hidden behind a tall dresser. She was so excited to find the opening that she walked in not prepared for what she would see.

"Oh my g-" She mumbled as she turned on the light. The rest of the group had already made their way into the hidden room. Elliot was silent. Cragen walked out. Fin bowed his head unable to look at Olivia. Munch followed suit.

Elliot looked intently at various pictures of the possible thousands that were randomly posted on one of the walls. Pictures of Olivia doing everyday mundane things. Eating, walking, brushing her teeth...bathing. She stopped and stared at a picture of her naked body and was humiliated that her friends would be looking at the same photos.

"Liv, lets go." Elliot whispered touching her arm.

"No!" She yelped pulling her hand away. He wasn't hurt, he knew she was wanting to face this.

"Hey El." Fin called out tossing a DVD case at Elliot.

"What is it?" Elliot said holding the DVD to his face and seeing a picture of Olivia on the cover and the date October 15, 1998. Elliot's heart sank when he looked beyond Fin into a bookcase. Six shelves the lengths of which wrapped around three of the four walls. "There must be one for everyday." Elliot mumbled to himself. Olivia looked at Elliot in horror as she took the DVD from Elliot.

"There all of me?" She asked softly. Fin was pulling randomly from the shelves.

"Looks like it Liv." He said compassionately. "Iam sorry Olivia."

"Get out." She spoke to everyone.

"What?" They were surprised.

"GET OUT!" Olivia hollard throwing the DVD's against the makeshift wall. "GET OUT!" The crew retreated into the living room not necessarily hurt from Olivia's outburst but more concerned for her well being.

Elliot remained.

"Leave me alone." She hissed at him.

"No." He responded bleakly.

Olivia suddenly turned to face him. "What? You want to see them all?" She asked him angrily. She wasn't angry at him, she was mad at the situation that had made her so vulnerable.

"Here!" She yelled taking a naked photo of herself off of the wall and throwing it at him.

"Liv..." He stepped closer to her.

"Olivia grabbed DVD's off the shelf and began to through them at Elliot who held his arms up to protect his face.

"Liv...stop!" He yelled walking quickly to her. "Liv." He repeated her name and grabbed hold of her arms. She struggled but gave up allowing him to hold her from behind. She cried heaving but producing no sounds until it finally bellowed out. "Why? Why would he do this to me Elliot?" Her knees weakened and Elliot lowered her to the floor never releasing his arms from her. He held her as she went blank. Elliot looked around the walls. Pictures, DVD's and newspaper clippings. Years of Olivia's most intimate moments here in one fake room.

Elliot was about to encourage Olivia to stand when a picture caught his eye, it was a picture of Olivia and him kissing behind a tree in Central Park . "Sick freak" Elliot thought to himself still holding his broken wife.

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\

After a little motivation from Elliot Olivia regained her composure and exited the room apologizing to her friends who all told her not to. They understood. They were carrying the last load of evidence out to a waiting van when Olivia finally spoke again.

"El?" She asked bleakly.

"Yeah what is it?" He stepped close. "What's wrong?" He asked concerned

"There's just one thing." She said staring intently at Elliot.

"What is it, tell me." Elliot spoke softly concern ripping through his vocal chords.

Olivia looked up at Elliot and pressed her lips together. "I am starving." Olivia said letting out a laugh that Elliot would soon follow but suddenly all the color left Olivia's face.

"El, look." She said forcing him to turn. "El, it's him!" She said reaching for her weapon.

"Mr. Lias!" She yelled. He was standing staring at her in his fancy suit. The rest of the crew was still in the apartment building. Olivia started for her brother in a sprint drawing her weapon before Elliot could do anything.


	43. Chapter 43 Don't you dare speak my name

CHAPTER 43

Elliot took off at a maddening sprint trying to catch up with Olivia. He was not necessarily worried about what might happen to Olivia so much as what she might do if she actually catches up with him. He was startled to see her draw her weapon as she turned the corner and disappeared down 76th street.

Elliot's calves were burning as his feet slammed against the concrete. His lungs were filled with a suffocating fire as he turned the corner expecting to see her cuffing her attacker but she was nowhere to be found. Elliot stopped gasping for air. "No...no, no,no." He spoke to himself as he frantically looked up and down the street. There was no sign of a commotion anywhere. There was no sign of his wife. Elliot hurriedly made his way through the crowd looking down each street and alley afraid that he may be too late.

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Olivia was certain that she had never ran so fast in her life as she began to realize that she was slowly gaining on him. His physique becoming larger as she got closer until both turned down a dead end alley. He ran through a trash laden path tripping over bags full of stuff that must have been rotting for days because Olivia was keenly aware of the putrid smell. He tried desperately to scale the brick wall of the dead end.

"Police!" Olivia shouted setting her weapon's sights on Victor Lias. He was no ordinary perp, this was the man that stole, not just her virginity, but her dignity as well. "You've got nowhere to go." She informed him and then offered up this suggestion. "Maybe if you weren't wearing those pansy shoes you could have gotten over the wall."

Victor Lias stood still facing the wall, his back to Olivia. "You don't have the guts to shoot me Liv." He said slowly turning to face her. The sound of his sadistic voice made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.

She gripped the handle of her .9mm tighter. "I guess theres only one way to find out huh?" she said pulling the hammer back. "Fourteen pounds of pressure is all it takes to pull this trigger; six pounds after the first shot." She said matter of factly but internally alarmed her hands were not shaking. She was calm, secretly hoping he would move so she could embrace the trigger with her index finer. "You decide _brother_." She drowned the word 'brother' with hatred and sarcasm. "Decide if I can do it...I already know I can." She spoke with strength and conviction.

Olivia _wanted_, if not _desired_ to kill him. For taking so much from her, she wanted to make him beg just as she did. The look on his face told Olivia he was fearful...not of her, but perhaps more of her current state of insanity. The only problem was...Olivia was thinking clear as a bell.

"Get on your knees." She told him calmly as she cautiously got closer to the man that had single handedly turned her life upside down. Her fearlessness pulsating through her body she was what? Four, possibly three feet from him.

"Liv?" He spoke trying to pull her back into his realm.

"Don't you dare speak my name." She spoke angrily through a clenched jaw, saliva escaping fro her mouth and landing on his face.

"Come on sweetheart, don't be - " Victor suddenly fell to his knees when he was 'assisted' with a kick to his groin from Olivia. She was going to get even.

"When I tell you to do something..." She stood closer with her weapon still ready. "Guess what? Your gonna do it." Olivia's vein pulsated, exposing itself on her forehead as he stared up at her helpless, just as she once was.

"Hands behind your head." She ordered him bitting her lower lip.

"Nervous?" He asked. "You can't kill me Detective Benson." He smiled a demonic smile producing a straight line of teeth resembling the same structure of Olivia's. Just then a familiar voice echoed in the alley.

"Olivia!" Elliot's voice was tense as he cautiously approached his wife. "Liv, we got him. Put the gun down." Elliot's voice was almost inaudible to Olivia but the tambre of it threatened to sooth her soul. She fought it.

"No." She responded coldly. Elliot had never seen Olivia's eyes burn with such intense hatred. It consumed her entire countenance. Elliot was desperately afraid of what Olivia might do.

"Look at you!" Victor hissed at Olivia. "Your still the same weak princess. You can't kill me." Victor's voice grew louder as he placed his hands behind his head. "I was inside of you Detective Benson. I had you first. I am a part of you..._forever_."

Elliot managed to creep his way to Olivia's side. "Olivia." He whispered still keeping his eye on the kneeling scum. "Put it away – we got him." He repeated his words as they slowly penetrated but she did not lower her weapon. Victor continued to antagonize her.

"I had you first Oliv-" Before he could finish his sentence Olivia gathered every ounce of strength within her and released an ear splitting growl. "Ahhhhh" Was all she could muster as she extended her leg making contact with the center of his face.

"Ugh." Was all he could let out as he toppled over onto the pavement, blood pouring out from an obviously broken nose.

"Olivia, I got him." Elliot said drawing his weapon. "Holster your gun Liv. This one is your collar."

Olivia stayed still for one, maybe two seconds before returning her gun to her hip and instinctively reaching for, and retrieving, her handcuffs. She cautiously walked closer to Lias anticipating any movement. There was none.

Rolling him over on his belly produced an agonizing moan as his nose met the pavement. Olivia took pleasure in placing her knee in the small of his back and ruthlessly grabbing hold of his wrist. The quick clicking of the cuff followed by the rapid succession of the other allowed Olivia a small smile as she jerked him up by the cuffs. "Ahhhh my arms." He cried out in pain feeling his rotator cups in his shoulders stretch to their maximum capacity as he scrambled to his feet.

Elliot holstered his gun once he was confident Olivia had secured his arms. "Looks like you got a little dirt on that fancy suit." He smiled at the dirt, grime, and trash that adorned the suit of the sick freak that had done so much damage to his wife. "What do you think Liv?" Elliot asked her still starring at Victor. "Think Convict Orange is his color?"

"Gee El - " Olivia replied wrenching on the cuffs causing the perp to yelp. "I was thinking more of Death Row Yellow." Olivia smiled in victory as she and Elliot escorted their trophy back to the street where Elliot had radioed a uniform to wait.

Olivia pushed Lias to get him to start walking as she spoke in a strong voice. "Victor Lias, you are under arrest for th rape of Samantha Delgado, Christine Palacios, Deja Christiansen..." She continued reciting the names of his victims obtaining a since of redemption for each name.

Olivia paused at the last two charges. "...For the murder of Tamara Summers...and the attempted murder of Olivia Benson." Olivia embraced her own dignity as she took it back from the man that had stolen it. "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you..."


	44. Chapter 44 How does it feel?

CHAPTER 44

"Liv, you look like hell." Cragen said softly.

"Yeah? Well, I feel like hell." Olivia replied void of emotion.

"You don't have to do this, you know that right. We would understand if you let Elliot do it alone." Cragen spoke softly like a father.

"No, I have to do this. I have to know why." She bit her bottom lip and looked at Elliot.

"He's in interrogation room five. Ready?" Elliot asked.

"As I'll ever be." Olivia's voice was tense and barely audible. She took in a deep breath and followed Elliot to room five.

"Don't put yourself through this Liv." Elliot spoke softly.

"El-" Her voice had a tint of irritation. "Please. Just be there with me." She searched his face and nodded giving Elliot assurance. She took in a deep breath and opened the door.

Victor Lias sat in an Orange jump suit on the opposite side of the table. Olivia sat down opposite Lias and to the left while Elliot joined her on the right placing files and pictures on the table.

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Cragen, Casey, Munch and Fin observed the interrogation from the other side of the one way mirror.

"He's a spitting image of her." Fin said starring at Lias in amazement.

"Cap, you think she can do this?" Munch asked.

"We'll soon find out won't we." Cragen turned the intercom on and stepped back to listen.

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" Hello Victor." Olivia's voice was sterile. She had flipped her switch back to detective. "Let's see, ah here it is." She said as she leafed through Lias' file. "Sent to an orphanage...adopted out...oh, look El." She said half showing Elliot the file. "Seems Mr. Lias was _returned_ to the Orphanage."

"Really?" Elliot responded pretending to be interested but playing off of his partner perfectly. "What was the matter?" Elliot asked Victor "To big? To small? ...To Evil" Elliot's face burned with hatred for the man, if you could call him that, who sat across from him.

Victor Lias sat clenching his jaw, his nose already had turned purple. "I don't have to take this crap from you." Lias turned his gaze from Elliot and focused on Olivia. "Now Olivia, theres someone I wouldn't mind having an altercation with." His voice was low, steady and completely demonic. He smiled as he leaned back in his chair and smacked his lips in a kissing motion at Olivia.

Olivia could feel a rage rise up within her and before she could stop herself she made one fluid motion standing up and simultaneously sidestepping the table and reaching for Victors jacket lapel. Olivia jerked Lias out of the chair, manipulating his wrist in an unhealthy position. She slammed him into the wall holding his wrist behind his back.

"How's that nose Mr. Lias?" She asked. Her tone mocked compassion. "Looks like it might be bleeding again." Olivia held him, unwilling to let go.

"Detective Benson," Victor spoke, his face still pressed against the wall. "Normally I'd welcome such an advance bu-" Victor suddenly felt his wrist absorb a tremendous amount of pressure as Olivia applied more and more leverage.

"Are you sure you want me? _Lovebug_." Olivia said coldly. Victor yelled out in pain again.

"Hey man call her off she's gonna break my wrist." He called out to Elliot. He was starting to panic. Elliot sat back in the chair appearing entertained at the suspects predicament. Elliot let out a small calculated laugh as he stood up facing the two of them. He knew – or at least he hoped she wouldn't break it. It would not only ruin the case but it would ruin her career.

"You know..." Elliot began to speak in a normal tone. "She's usually the calm dog around this pound." Elliot stuck his hands in his pocket and walked past Lias as he writhed in pain. "Victor, I got to tell you, dogs...they are just the damnedest things I have ever seen." Elliot said placing a chair in front of him backward so that when he sat he could lean over the back of the chair.

Elliot continued. "I mean dogs are just plain nutty. It's been my experience, Victor, that once a dog has been traumatized by an event, they become unpredictable, almost impossible to call off." Elliot was boring his eyes into Victors face.

"What do you want?" Lias asked in agony.

"Victor, I had this pit bull, her name was Lucy – fun dog, but, sometimes she'd get worked up – they only way to call her off was to throw her a bone." Elliot stood up walking to Victor. Olivia had at least allowed him to turn his cheek to the wall. Elliot smiled at him. "Victor?" Elliot spoke curiously. "You wouldn't happen to have a bone you could throw her would ya?" Elliot smiled.

"I am not telling you anything." Victor said as he spat in Elliot's face. Elliot calmly removed a piece of cloth from his pocket and wiped the saliva from his face. "Well, Victor, I guess Lucy is just gonna have to get ya then." Elliot turned from Olivia as he heard her call out.

"Thats it!" Olivia stepped back to gain more leverage. " I am breakin' it." She quickly and forcefully applied more pressure hearing the bones in his wrist grind. She knew what the limits were before it broke.

"ALRIGHT ALRIGHT." Lias screeched. "What do you want?" He asked pleading for his wrists health. Satisfied he would talk Olivia spun him around and slammed him back into his seat. She leaned down to his ear and whispered just soft enough that Elliot could not hear. "Don't mistake my grace for weakness." She returned to her seat across from Elliot who looked at her with curiosity.

Elliot slid a yellow legal pad and pen over to Lias. "Here you go." Elliot chirped.

"What do you want?" Lias asked.

"Well personally?" Olivia began, "I'd like to see you dead, but my shrink says I have to accept that there are things I can't have. So, I'll settle for the who, what, when, where and why. Start writing." She leaned back in her chair and folded her arms.

Elliot spoke up. "You and Olivia were separated at birth...how'd you find her?" He asked him leaning in for the answer.

" I didn't." Victor spoke softly almost regrettably but Olivia wasn't about to go there.

"You didn't?" Elliot asked in a calm voice as he clenched his jaw. Olivia knew what was coming as she slid her chair away from the table. "Well obviously you did." Elliot voice began to get louder with each sylibal. "You raped her you sick freak and then you mutilated her body and left her to die." Elliot was yelling, his veins pulsated in his neck as he kicked the table shoving it hard into Lias' chest. Elliot began to push the table with his hands forcing the chair and Victor back into the wall. "You raped her!" Elliot yelled again. He pushed the table harder cutting off the air supply to the perp.

"It was our father." Victor gasped for air. Elliot released the pressure and allowed him to talk. "He gained custody of me." Victor continued to speak with increasing anger. "I was in and out of foster homes and orphanages while you were at home with mom being raised up right Olivia."

Victor bit his bottom lip and it occurred to Olivia that must be some type of inherited oddity, perhaps her father did that, her mother didn't. He spoke with a darker anger. "I was sodomized and beaten repeatedly while you were _saving_ yourself." He said in disgust.

"THERE WAS NO REST FOR ME OLIVIA" He shouted picking himself up in his own chair and slamming against the linoleum. Olivia did not clench.

Victor quieted himself for several seconds and then spoke composed. "The foster homes were so sick of me that when our dad came looking for me they didn't bother to look at his file completely. They turned me loose to him. He changed my name to his." Victor stared blankly at Olivia.

"What's you real name then Victor?" Olivia asked for the sole purpose of wanting information.

"Oliver." He responded. "Oliver Benson. That's right, mom named me, took me home and then gave me away to rot in an orphanage." Victor was enraged. "She kept you and sold me down the river to be someone's sex toy."

Elliot swallowed, absorbing the information, trying to make sense of the facts. "Why did you imply you were her father when you raped her? Why did you make her call you daddy?" Elliot asked narrowing his eyes.

"Don't you get it?" Victor's voice sounded defeated, then suddenly angry again. "That's what my father did to me when he rapped me!"

Olivia furrowed her eyebrows and narrowed her eyes. She was angry. "Oh, so what's your theory then? Huh? Two wrongs make a right?"

Those still looking in from the other side of the glass were watching intently almost afraid to blink. They were astonished at how tormented Olivia and Victor were. However, Victor's pain did not give him a license to do what he did. They would ensure he'd be punished.

"How did you know to use that gag?" Elliot asked with a hollow voice.

"He told me that if I wanted my manhood back I had to conquer her, I had to make Olivia pay for not letting me grow up with a family."

"And the rest of the girls you raped?" She said shoving the case files into his chest. "Did he want you to do those too?" She asked disgusted.

Victor smiled. "No...no." He sat back in his chair and smiled at Olivia. "You were just so great that night that I wanted to relive it, and everytime something great happened to you , I wanted you to know what it was like to have something hovering over you...consuming you...eating you alive." He snarled at her.

"Tell me something Olivia..." Victor asked "How does it feel?"

"How does what feel?" Olivia replied not so much as blinking.

"How does it feel being responsible for that women's death?" He smiled at her sadistically.

"You did that?" She asked faking a shocked looked.

"Oh yeah, in memory of your body. I took her skin home because she smelled so much like you. It's still there, you just got to look for it." His eyes turned from brown to black. Olivia was sure it was the evil that was rising up within him.

"Well, I guess you'll have to ask yourself that, and seeing how you, in all your wisdom, just confessed to the murder, you'll have a whole lot of time to ask yourself that." Olivia gave him a smirk and a quick raising and lowering of her eyebrows. She leaned in and whispered to him again. "I guess you didn't inherit mom's intelligence huh? Poor baby." She said producing a mock sad face.

"Bravo." Victor smiled undaunted.

"Where's he at?" Elliot asked.

"37th and Adams." Victor responded. "Do tell him I said hi when you pick him up." He said in a twisted tone.

"I think we got what we need." Cragen's voice came over the intercom.

Olivia and Elliot rose slowly still starring at Lias. Elliot opened the door for his partner who was just about to walk out the door when Victor spoke again. She turned to face him but he didn't not look up, he was in some evil trance.

"How does it feel not to be loved by anyone Olivia?"


	45. Chapter 45 Tears pooled around her lips

CHAPTER 45

Olivia parked her car on the curb and looked up at the tall gates. "Man, it's been two years since I've been here." She thought to herself as picked up the single white rose from the passenger seat and opened the door. The cool air carressed her face as she pulled her Donna Karen jacket tighter around her waist.

"I should go back." She thought stopping just before her boots touched the wet grass.

"No...I have to do this." She spoke to herself outloud and then looked around to see if anyone had seen her do it. She bowed her head and continued walking feeling the heel of her boots sink into the damp soil with each step.

Olivia reached the designated spot, the perfectly manicured grass accented the large piece of granite infront of her.

"Hey Mom." Olivia said placing the rose on her mother's headstone.

"It's been awhile huh?" She continued speaking softly aware that she was the only person there.

"I am sorry I didn't come by more often." Olivia traced her mother's name with her fingers, tears welling in her eyes.

"We got him mom, we got the man who raped me. Olivia did not speak Victor's name. Her mother did not need to know such things even if she was dead. "Were getting ready to collar the man who attacked you." Olivia's voice broke.

"Why _did_ you keep me?"

"Why did you get drunk? If you weren't drunk you wouldn't have fallen...you would be with me." Olivia stuck her hands in her jacket pockets and bowed her head closing her eyes she thought to herself.

"Why did you leave me? Our relationship was anything but great, but I was still your daughter. Why couldn't you love me like one? All those beatings I took when you were drunk. I am sorry I kicked you that night, I was so scared of you." Olivia let the tears fall from her eyes. "I didn't want to be scared of you. I wanted to be loved by you. I wanted you to hug me when I was hurting not drag me out of bed spanking me for no reason. The more I screamed the longer and harder you hit me. I learned to take the beatings in silence, to shut off and close myself off from the world."

Olivia broke her thoughts as she spoke outloud into the air. "Not anymore mom...I found someone who loves me...baggage and all." Olivia crouched low to feel her mother's name engraved in the granite. " You may not have loved me...but I loved you." She said standing to her feet her cheeks stained with tears.

Suddenly Olivia felt her heart beat just a little faster. The hair on her neck stood up and a familiar voice ravished her eardrums.

"Olivia?" Elliot's voice penetrated to the very depths of who she was but she did not turn around. Elliot softly embraced her waist from behind and placed his warm cheek next to her wet one. The scent of her hair and perfume taunting him.

"How long have you been standing there?" She whispered accepting his embrace and pulling his arms around her tighter. She needed to feel safe.

Elliot's voice was low. "Long enough."

"How did you know I would be here?" She whispered

"You didn't say anything to anyone when you left. That's unlike you, I figured if there was one person you would have wanted to talk to it would have been her." Elliot placed a soft kiss on Olivia's cheek. "Olivia?" Elliot was preparing to ask her a very pointed question.

"Yeah?" She whispered still holding his arms around her.

"When he asked you how it felt that no one loved you...you don't believe him do you?" Elliot asked knowing it was a possibility that love came just as hard as trust.

"Are you kidding me? Even if no one else on this planet loves me...I know that your love will sustain me."

She turned around to face him.

"Elliot - " her eyes were watering.

"What is it?" He asked her compassionatly

"I am so sorry I don't tell you I love you more. I should - " Olivia's voice was stressed and she was speaking faster and faster with each sentence. The heavy load she had bore finally took over. "The truth is I would tavel the entire world to get to you. I love you so much that If I never saw you again my soul would cease to exist, my heart would beat for nothing." Olivia raised her head to look at Elliot. He knew she loved him but just like that night they laid together, he desperately needed to hear it. Elliot's eyes had pooled with intense tears that broke free of their prison and scaled down the walls of his cheeks into oblivion.

Olivia took a timid step toward her husband holding the sides of his face with her hands. Elliot glanced down, the intensity of his wife bearing her heart was simply too much.

"Look at me Elliot." She spoke softly, raising his head to her eyes with her hands. Olivia leaned forward still timid at first and then kissed Elliot gently on his cheek, for the first time she allowed _his_ tears to pool around _her_ lips.


	46. Chapter 46 It came back to haunt us

CHAPTER 46

Olivia and Elliot finally reached their home. After collering Olivia's attacker both he and she were exaughsted. Olivia walked slowly to the door still digesting the events for the day. Elliot transferred the carryout food they stopped for to his other hand and took hold of his wifes. Both walked silently up the porch steps and into their house.

"Liv?" Elliot spoke softly knowing that she must be absolutley tired. He stepped slowly into her space and pulled her near him. "Why don't you jump in the shower and get some comfortable clothes on and I'll fix dinner...well at least I'll put it on plates." He let a soft laugh escape his lips.

"Elliot, I don't want to be alone...join me?" Her words were lonely, full of hurt, confusion, tiredness.

"It would be my pleasure." He whispered extending his hand. She took hold of her hand and led him to the bathroom.

Niether he nor she spoke a word. Elliot turned the water on, ensuring it would be to Olivia's comfort, when he decided it was ready he straightened his body and stepped close to his wife. Her eyes were sullen, absent of her normal electricity. Elliot kissed her softly on her lips, moved to her cheeck and then her forhead. He put his arms around her and held her, communicating his love through the strength and safety of his arms. Olivia took a deep breath and exhaled breaking Elliot's embrace, she closed her eyes and tilted her head.

Elliot brought his hands to her shirt's hem and gently pulled it over her head exposing her fragile figure. She returned the gesture removing Elliot's shirt slowly button by button. Olivia kept her eyes closed, trusting that Elliot would not hurt her, would not do anything to break her trust.

Realizing her vulnerability and knowing that she was intentionally placing her self in that position made Elliot more aware that with Olivia love and trust was not a point to arrive at but was a journey in which Olivia walked slowly pushing herself from destination to destination.

Elliot unclasped her bra from the back letting it drop to the floor. Unbuttoning her pants he pushed them slowly over her buttocks letting her steady her self against him for balance. She stepped out of her pants and allowed Elliot to help her into the shower. He removed his clothing as Olivia stood under the steady stream of the warm water silent. Although the water fell over her face her shoulders heaved...she was crying.

Elliot joined his wife under the water embracing her from behind. He was aware of her scars, feeling them with his hands as his fingers glided over her wet skin. He whispered into her ear "I love you." he paused allowing the emotion to fully embrace her heart. "Your beautiful." Silence again. " I adore you." He embraced her tighter. "I love your strength. I love your weakness." Silence. Olivia reached up touching Elliots cheek. Standing there eyes closed allowing her husband to hold her in her brokeness, it was a liberating feeling, a scary feeling...an intense feeling. "I love your stubborness, your gracefullness." Silence. "I love you Olivia." Elliot spoke turning his wife to face him.

Olivia looked up at her husband, "I love you Elliot." She placed a hand on his waterslick chest and kissed him gently on his lips.

Olivia reached out for the bottle of shampoo only to feel Elliot's hand stop her. "Just be." Elliot's command was soft and affirming. "That's all I want from you." He squeezed the shampoo into his palm and smiled. "Just be." He caressed her hair with his soap laden hands and held her gently under the water shielding her eyes from the escaping shampoo.

Olivia found herself lost in her own thoughts. "Is this really happening? Is Victor really in jail? Am I really Mrs. Elliot Stabler? Did he really choose me?" As she felt Elliot's soapy hands move over her neck and shoulders slowly making way to her breasts and abdomen, she knew the answer to all of her questions would be a resounding "yes".

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Less than twenty-four hours after Olivia arrested Victor Lias, Casey Novak had the pleasure of arraigning Olivia's attacker. Olivia insisted she didn't want to be there. She never wanted to see him again. Perhaps it was out of shame, or at least that was what some would assume but Olivia knew she could have killed him in that alley. She wanted to. If Elliot had not found her she would have. Nonetheless, she was confidant Casey would do everything to keep him in jail and it worked. The judged ordered Victor Lias held without bail until his trial.

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Elliot rolled his body over in a sleepy search for his wife but when all he felt was a cold matress he immediately sat up fully awake...and scared to death.

"Liv?" He called anticipating her response – when there was non he quickly threw back the down comforter and bolted down the hallway. "Liv? Liv where are you?" His voice was starting to grow more tense until he turnded the corner from the hallway to the kitchen. Elliot was shocked at his discovery.

Olivia stood mixing a bowl of what he could only deduce as muffin mix based on the muffin pan she had next to the bowl on the counter.

"What's with all the noise Stabler?" She asked grating small shards of lemon peeling.

"I...I uh..." Elliot was stuck between thinking his wife had run from him in the middle of the night and the fact that she was...cooking?

Olivia looked up stopping the gratting motion and drying her hands on a dish towel. She casually tossed it back to the counter and walked to Elliot.

"El? What's wrong?" His stammering a tale tell sign he'd been shaken. Oliia narrowed her eyes searching his face. She placed her hands on his cheek. Elliot leaned into her caress closing his eyes, savoring her touch as if she'd been away from him for months. "You though I left?" Her question was more of a statement than a question or acusation being as she already knew the answer.

Elliot kept his eyes closed as he bowed his head still felling her hand against him. He clenched his jaw unable to verbalize the trememdous fear that griped him when he realized Olivia was not next to him. The thought of her leaving out of fear of intimacy or whatever it could be made Elliot ache at his very core.

"I hate to break it to you Mr. Stabler." She spoke, her voice causing Elliot's eyesto awaken. She stepped on her tip toes to whisper in his ear. "Your stuck with me." She smiled and returned to pour the muffin batter.

"Olivia – how did you know I thought you left?" Elliot asked. She let out a laugh placing the muffins in the oven.

"You raced through the house in your underwear El." Olivia laughed. "Funny stuff." She said cracking an egg into the mixing bowl. Elliot blushed realizing he'd searched franticaly for his wife in his...underwear. "What an idot." He scolded himself as he returned to the room to dress.

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When Elliot re-emerged a cleanly shaven and fully dressed man Olivia had just placed his breakfast on the table. Elliot took his seat across from his wife and looked at the meal. "Looks decent." He thought privatly. "At least it's not burnt." HE smiled to himself.

"What's with the smile?" She asked inquisitively.

Elliot couldn't contain himself. He started laughing and pushed the plate away from him. "I am sorry Liv." He said with a smile. "I've known you for Eight years and I've never seen you cook before." Olivia sat back in her chair with a smirk. "Come on Liv -" He teased her. "I've rarely seen more than frozen dinners and bottled water in your refridgerator."

Olivia reached across the table picking up his fork and gathering a bite of scrambled egg. Elliot continued his friendly torture. "You're the queen of take-out complete with a paper plate scepter." His laughter was quickly muffled as Olivia placed the food in his mouth.

In a split second a newspaper headline flashed before him. "DETECTIVE DIES AFTR EATING WIFE'S COOKING." But suddenly his taste buds embraced the flavor.

"Oh my goodness!" He spoke still chewing. Olivia gave a look of satisfaction.

"I'll have you know..." She arched her eyebrows playfully. "I got a 'C' in home ec." She smiled clearly playing about the class. Elliot confiscated the fork from her and began to eat.

"Where did you learn to cook like this?" He asked taking another bite.

Olivia smiled, glad that he enjoyed another extension of her. "I cooked for my mom since I was severn." She picked up her own fork and strted to satisfy her stomachs demands.

"Liv, you've been holding out! Good thing though, I'd be so fat!" He laughed. "Why'd you stop cooking?" He asked her still focused on his plate.

"Honey-" Olivia put on her best sarcastic face. "I got skills you don't even know about." She smiled. Elliot stopped chewing, swallowed hard and blushed.

"Besides," She spoke covering Elliot's hand with her own. "I never had anyone worth cooking for." Her smile turned into an intense and meaningful conversation of silence. It was in that moment that Elliot realized something about the exotic creature before him. Olivia may not be one to spout off "I love you's" , but it was the little things she did such as this breakfast, it was the way she touched him, it was in her actions as she slowly learned to give him her heart that she spoke louder than any words she could ever form. Elliot and Olivia starred at one another in silence knowing that they would make it through whatever came their way, so long as they had one another.

It was during that stare that both jumped at an ear curdling noise that rang throught the kitchen. "Ah – stupid phone." Olivia mumbled. "Don't be surprised if you come home one day and all the lines are cut." She laughed as Elliot got up to answer the call.

"Hello?" Elliot said still smiling at his new bride. Olivia looked up just in time to see his countenance change from bright and confidant to concerned and forbodding. "I understand that" He said walking into the other room. "She's just settled down and I don't think she can handle it." Elliot hissed into the reciever.

"Alright" He said resigned to the caller's argument. "Bye" Elliot turned the phone off as he turned around and almost collided with his wife.

"L..Liv." He was startled.

"What can't I handle Elliot?" She asked intently.

"Liv?" Elliot swallowed hard clenching his jaw. "That was Fin."

"Okay?" She said waiting for his point.

"You know how everyone gets one phone call when there arrested?" His eyes were downcast.

"Yeeeaaahh?" She drew out the word searching for his hidden meaning.

Elliot took a deep breath and Look at Olivia. "Well, Victor Lias' phone call just came back to haunt us."


	47. Chapter 47 Give daddy what he wants

CHAPTER 47

By the time Elliot pulled the car onto the main road back to the station house he and Olivia were already in discussion.

"If I wouldn't have gotten there, what do you think would have happened Liv?" His voice was a mixture of curiosity and want. He wanted Olivia to be able to talk about it, he was scared of her internalizing her pain, scared she would close her heart again and he'd never be able to bring her back.

After a long pause Olivia turned to Elliot. "I..." Her voice cracked. "When I saw him there was this intensity within me." She looked away from him. "I wanted him to move...El?...I would have killed him." There was something within Olivia's voice that Elliot had never heard before and in that moment he knew that if he hadn't gotten to Olivia in time she would have killed him.

"But you didn't." Elliot took hold of Olivia's hand, his care for her uneffected by this blemish of judgement. Was it a blemish of judgement? What would he have done had he gotten to him first?

"But I wanted too." She swallowed. "I wanted to take his life as payment for my dignity for all those years I lived in fear of being vulnerable to someone."

She wiped a fallen tear.

"What stopped you?" Elliot asked, curious as to her response.

"I thought of the first time we made love." She smiled, blushing. "That was the first time I had ever felt vulnerable and completely safe. I wasn't willing to give that up for him." As the car came to a stop in front of the house Elliot leaned over and kissed her softly on her cheek.

"I am blessed to have you Liv." He whispered in her ear. Both took deep breaths and stepped out of the car.

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"What do you got Fin?" Olivia said trying to sound undaunted as she draped her coat over her desk chair. She was missing the station house, missing the hustle and bustle, the ringing phones and the mountains of paperwork. It would all have to wait.

Fin approached Elliot and Olivia speaking quietly. "Listen to this."

"What is it?" Olivia asked looking at Fin.

"Liv..." Fin began and took a deep breath. "It's a taped phone call placed by your brother..." Fin stopped, pressing her lips together and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Okay?" Elliot was getting frusterated. "Care to elaborate?"

"Well," Fin said. "If you'd shut your whole, I suppose I could." Fin turned back to Olivia while Elliot rolled his eyes.

Fin completed his thought. "It's a call from your brother to your _father_ Liv." Fin pushed the play button.

"I am locked up I can't finish it and I can't get bail." A voice chimmed

Fin interjected "Thats Victor, your brother."

"Then I'll do it." A more raspy voice replied.

Fin's voice guided Olivia again. "That's Victor...your father."

Olivia winced at hearing her father's voice for the first time.

"You only have three days." The younger voice warned.

"Then I'll do it tomorrow night." The raspy voice reassured spoke.

Fin stopped the recording "Liv, tomorrow is today." he informed her.

"So who's he going for?" Elliot asked anyone who was listening at the moment.

"Why is your whole still open?" Fin asked shaking his head. "Can you let me get through a thought?"

Elliot raised his hands in surrender. "Hey, sorry pal." Fin looked away and turned back to a chart.

"I reconstructed the chart you had at home with the dates and corresponding attacks." Fin pointed to the O.B that was plotted on the chart. "This dot..." Fin pointed to the dot between the O and the B, "Is the murder of Tamara Summers." Fin grabbed a ruler and placed it just over the dot drawing a light line in pencil.

"Fin, what's your point." Elliot had lost his patience.

"El?" Olivia said. "Please humor him...for me." She smiled disarming him. Before he could respond Munch walked through the door and joined the conversation.

"Patience is not your virtue is is Stabler." He shook his head. "Good thing I am I just spent the last twenty-two hours straightening out the papertrails to the evidence. As cragen said.." Munch raised his fingers drawing imaginary quotation marks. "It's legitimized."

Munch happened to glance up at the chart. "What's this?" He said pointing. The crew gave him the abridged version complete with the tape recording.

"So you're trying to figure out who he's going for?" Munch thought out loud looking at the line Fin drew. "Fin...did you finish this thought?" He pointed to the line.

"Well, the girl there after has to be in the path of that line somewhere but look how many apartments are in that area." Fin pointed.

"What area? Let me see." Olivia pushed her way back to the map that she had grown to loath instantly.

"Elliot, look." Olivia's voice was stressed. As she pointed, "That look familiar?" She asked him.

Elliot's face went pale. He stared at the map. "Yeah." He whispered "But, why would he go there?" He narrowed his brows starring at the map.

"The recording El. He said he wanted to _finish_ it.." Olivia's thoughts were racing as her eyes searched the map, her fingers following. "For a second I though he would return to the apartment building I lived in when I was attacked but that's over hear." Olivia pointed several inches from the "O.B" Drawing. "It doesn't fit, but the apartment building that I've lived at for the past eight years _does._" She took a sharpie and made a dot to complete the initials. "O.B."

Elliot was stunned. "Your the dot." His voice was covered in disbelief.

"Wow, wait." Fin said. "Are you sure about that?"

Olivia took a step back from the chart starring at it, absorbing what it meant. Knowing what it held in store for her. Olivia placed her hands on her hips and then her voice crept from within the darkness of her throat. "He's coming for _me_." Olivia turned around facing her shocked and visibly shaken audience. "Well boys," She shook her head slightly and took a breath. "Let's give _daddy_ what he wants."


	48. Chapter 48 I'll do it afraid

CHAPTER 48

"Absolutely Not!" Cragen yelled slamming the top drawer to his desk. "Are you out of your mind Stabler?" Cragen asked a jaw clenched Elliot in a booming voice.

"Sir." Olivia interceded on Elliot's behalf. "It was my idea."

Cragen was taken back, he lowered his voice. "Olivia- just because you married Elliot doesn't mean you have to be as crazy as he is." A small smile made it's way across his lips. Cragen took a deep breath leaning his elbows on his desk.

"Sir," Olivia explained. "Right now we only have him on criminal felicitation, we need more to make sure he never sees day light...we need the attempted murder charge." Olivia's eyes were determined to push this.

Pinching the bridge of his nose he finally gave in. "What's the game plan?" He asked.

Elliot and Olivia took the next half hour to explain in precise detail the meathood they would use to collar her own father. It was evident Cragen wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea but he knew it was the only option they had.

"I suppose Novak is on this as well?" Cragen asked. The Captain was always thankful for his team. They were the best he'd ever seen. However, they were also the most stubborn individuals he had ever met. Cragen knew once they dug their heels in, it would take an act of congress for them to even reconsider their options. Getting them to back down, especially when they were right, required an act of God.

"Casey is the only one we know that would do it right." Elliot spoke anticipating Cragen's approval.

"Alright, get your team together, I want it set up in the next two hours and everyone out by four." Cragen stood to his feet and folded his arms. "No surprises understand?" Olivia agreed opening the door to gather the crew.

"Elliot, stay." Cragen ordered after Olivia left. Before Elliot could ask why Cragen gave a stern warning. "Elliot – I think highly of you, but if this goes south, I'll have you back in uniform."

Elliot nodded his head and offered his reply. "Your not the only one who loves her Cap."

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Olivia turned the key to her old apartment. She hadn't been gone long but she was still excited to be there again. She placed her keys on the counter. "Lets get started." Her voice seemingly happy but Elliot knew better.

"Alright, now, were not exactly sure about his entry method." Elliot spoke – he had switched from Elliot to detective Stabler without even knowing it. "So it's either gonna be the window fire escape or the front door." Elliot turned around.

"You – come here." He pointed to a young officer that Cragen recommended to help with the technical aspects. Elliot spouted off his requirements. "I want a silent sensor here." Elliot pointed to the window. "As well as every threshold in this apartment...we don't have a video stream we can hack without risking getting caught, so I want to know exactly where he is at all times. You got me?" Elliot spoke with authority.

"No problem. Where do you want the alarm to trigger to?" The young man asked.

"Well be next door, the occupants are out of town and we cleared it with the maintenance man." Elliot stopped and looked around. Munch was busy making it look like someone had been living in the apartment. He placed clean dished in the strainer and left fake work files on the kitchen table, next to a apple he cut in half and laid the pairing knife next to. Just in case the perp was stupid enough not to wear gloves Munch ensured all horizontal surfaces were dusted.

"Where's Sta...er...Benson?" Elliot asked almost calling her Stabler.

"She went next door to Novak." Munch said not breaking from his work. "Theres still a unit tailing her father Elliot." Munch could sense Elliot's angst. "If he moves we'll know."

"Alright your good to go." The young cop responded to Elliot. "I'll clear my team out so you can do what you came here to do." The young man walked only steps away before turning back.

"Detective Stabler?" The young voice was suddenly very serious.

"Yeah?" Stabler replied

"Look...um, the woman that was here...That's Detective Olivia Benson isn't it?" he asked.

Elliot's eyes furrowed. "How does this pipsqueak know my wife?" He thought but instead answered "Yeah."

"I thought so, she was the guest speaker at my graduation fro the academy...special person. Your lucky."

"How do you figure?" Elliot asked pretending to not follow the young man's thought.

"Oh please! They way you look at each other. I though I was gonna loose my lunch." He smiled assuring Elliot the young man would shield their secret. He picked up his equipment. "Detective, I don't know what you all got cookin' tonight but," He turned walking out the door. "Make sure she's safe, she's practically a legend to some of us."

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Olivia stood in her apartment bedroom starring at the bed she knew had the potential to destroy her. Elliot walked in observing her – knowing her thoughts, "Liv – you sure about this?" Elliot asked softly.

"It has to be done. This is the only time we get to pick our vic...It should be me." She waisted no time for Elliot to respond. "Got the equipment?" She asked.

Elliot pulled a small box out of his pocket and opened it up. "This goes in your ear canal. You'll hear us from it, but we'll hear you from this." he said holding a necklace with a small pendent attached to it. "The mic is in the pendant."

Olivia turned her body to allow him to put the new necklace on and take the necklace he'd given her off. "I'll have it ready when you come back." He reassured her.

Olivia shuddered as she looked at the clock "It's four O'clock." she whispered exhaling deeply.

"Liv – if your afraid..." Elliot was cut off when Olivia turned back to him and placed her finger over his lips.

"If I am afraid then I'll do it afraid." She whispered in his ear. Touching her cheek to his and slowly making way to his lips. She placed her hands to caress his face and as she "Did that thing with her tongue." She couldn't help but thinking this could be that last kiss she shared with her husband.


	49. Chapter 49 Come to tuck me in?

CHATPER 49

It was nearing 2:00am and Olivia laid in her bed dressed in panties and Elliot's shirt that she convinced him to give up. She smiled to herself remembering how handsome he looked in his white undershirt, how it defined his muscles. She smelled of the shirt gathering Elliot's scent into her mind. If she died tonight she wanted to be as close to Elliot as she could be.

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"Elliot" Munch's voice was soft. "Just got a call he's on the move."

Elliot's entire body tensed. He swallowed and keyed the transmitter. "Liv – he's left his home, he'll be here shortly." His voice was hallow. HE sat back dragging his hand over his mouth. "I should be in there with her." He mumbled.

"Elliot you can't risk him finding you before her. It would blow the case." Casey was trying to be logical but she was equally concerned for her friend.

" I know." He whispered. Unsoothed.

"Elliot" Casey's face was intense. "When Olivia came to talk with me she told me to promise her we wouldn't do anything until..." Her voice broke.

"Until what?" Elliot stared wide eyed already knowing what Olivia had done.

"She doesn't want us to enter until we have him on attempted murder." Casey exhaled allowing Elliot to realize the implication that was just made.

"What were you thinking agreeing to that?" Elliot hissed angrily but before Casey could defend herself Munch snapped at them commanding their silence as he answered his cellphone.

"Alright." Munch kept his voice low and hung up his phone looking at his partners. He shifted his jaw and told them. "He's here. Coming up the fire escape."

Elliot pushed the transmission button again. "Olivia-he's here."

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Olivia felt her heart sink and her muscles tense, for a moment she though she would vomit. She whispered down into the pendant in a shaky voice. "I love you Elliot."

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The alarm triggered into the apartment Elliot and the rest of the crew occupied. "He's inside." Munch spoke. "I'll cover the door. Fin go out and make sure he doesn't come back down that fire escape." Both men moved to their post with urgency. Elliot exhaled turning to Casey. "This is it."

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Olivia's body cringed as she heard the door to the bedroom open slowly, producing an agonizing creeeaaakkking sound. She would have to wait until he reached the floorboard that produced an equally irritating sound so she could know where he was in the darkness.

"What's he doing?" She thought anxiously. She could feel him staring at her from the shadows. Olivia gripped her weapon under the covers and suddenly she heard the floorboard sound off. Creeeaakk. She knew exactly where he was. One maybe two feet away. She felt him slowly pulling her comforter, she felt her body temperature rise, her skin tingle with cold sweat, her breathing labored. Cracking one eye ever so slightly. She sized up the blurry figure and suddenly felt her body react as if it were a machine being controlled by someone else.

Olivia bolted up kicking sharply to his gut. "UHHHH" Was all he spoke as he stumbled backward allowing her time to rise up and reposition herself in the room. Training her weapon on his body she smiled a menacing grin, gathered her most daunting voice and addressed her father for the first time in her life

"Hey daddy – come to tuck me in?"


	50. Chapter 50 Your Wrong

CHAPTER 50

Olivia kept her weapon trained on her target while she listened to what Elliot was telling her through the ear piece. "Liv, you've got to get him to say _why_ he is there." Olivia took a deep breath and spoke into the pale darkness as he brought himself to his feet.

"Why did you come here?" She asked, the adrenaline in her body causing her to shout out her words.

Olivia cringed at the raspy voices reply. "I just came to see how my little girl was doing." He lowered his head still looking at Olivia. The whites of his eyes glared with evilness as if she were staring at Satan himself.

"Let's get one thing straight you sick piece of crap." Olivia began to sidestep to the left feeling the wall to turn on the light switch. "I am not _your_ little girl!" Olivia was clenching her teeth so tightly that her jaw muscles were becoming sore. She continued to fumble for the light switch when she found it she flipped it...nothing. Again and again she tried and again and again there was nothing. She felt her chest tighten.

"I would have to disagree with you sweetheart." He said suddenly stepping back into the shadows. She had a general knowledge of where he was and kept her gun in the corresponding direction. Olivia was aware of her sweaty palms, aware it was harder to hold her weapon. Olivia tunned into a sound coming from the shadows. What is that? She thought. Fabric rubbing? Liquid shaking? She couldn't make it out.

Crrreeeaaaakkkk, he had moved back – quickly now and suddenly a mist hit Olivia's face. Pain equivalent to someone stabbing her in the eyes with hot needles and then blow torching her face seered through her face. Her nose began to run and her breathing was becoming shallower and shallower.

"Ahhhhh." Olivia yelled out as the pepper spray began to work the way it was designed.

"Pepper spray? You couldn't kill me like a man?" She yelled knowing Elliot would be listening and realize she was at a disadvantage. She had been sprayed in the academy as a requirement, she knew not to touch it and to keep her eyes closed. If she had to open them it would be minimal sight and extreamly blurry.

Olivia suddenly had the air knocked completly out of her. She tumbled back falling onto the floor, her gun skidding just out of her reach under the bed. She was feeling around the room trying to map out in her mind where she was when she felt a foot come crashing down on her sternum. "Ugghhh." Was the only audible noise until she fought frantically grasping for breath.

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Hearing his wife taking hits infuriated Elliot. He smashed the button again. "Olivia make him say it!" He shouted.

Casey furrowed her brows wincing at the sounds of Olivia taking the brutal blows. She picked up a hand held radio handing it to Elliot. "Get Munch and Fin!" Her voice was exasperated as Elliot took it from her hand.

"Fin, Munch GO NOW" Elliot spoke.

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Hearing Elliot's voice alerted Olivia to the task at hand. She gathered her breath and managed to gasp out. "Seems like...you...have me at a...disadvantage." She rolled onto her stomach to try and push herself up from the floor. "You gonna kill me now?" she dangled the bait in front of him hoping he would bite.

"No sweet heart." He growled softly. Olivia heard a familiar sound in that instant. What was that?" She thought to herself, straining to hear better. It reminded her of a time when her mother would spank her with the belt.

"First, I am gonna tenderize you." He said. "You know...spare the rod spoil the child right?" Suddenly Olivia heard the familiar sound of leather forcefully flying through the air. She felt the painful sting of it as it tagged her in the ribs. She yelped like a puppy who just had his tale trampled.

"That's right, you scream pathetic...just like your mother did." His voice was full of disdain. Not that his disdain of her meant anything to her. "Your a whore Olivia – no one wants you." He yelled striking her again. She had taken her mother's beatings in silence as a kid and she would not give him the pleasure of hearing her scream again.

A third wind of leather separated the shirt she wore and ate into her skin. She remained silenced protecting her face. A forth...a fifth. He was a metronome of pain, consistent and rythmatic. She shifted her body preparing to defend herself.

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"Stabler, I can't get up the ladder he's got it rigged, it wont release!" Fin shouted into the radio racing back into the Apartment building taking the stairs.

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"Elliot! He locked it!" Munch ran into the apartment, "Both the dead bolts, I can't get through" Munch was out of breath from the fight he had with the door. Fin came in out of breath. "Can't get through." He gasped.

The four of them stared at one another realizing...they couldn't get to her.

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When Olivia heard the gentle banging of the metal buckle on the belt she knew it would be coming down again. Perfectly timed it did. She rotated her wrist causing the leather to wrap around it, she pulled down with all of her force and executed a punch with her free hand where she thought his face should be. She felt her knuckles bust over his teeth.

She quickly pulled the belt around his neck and forced him to his stomach. Olivia cinched it tight cutting off his air. She whispered into his ear clenching her teeth with pure hatred. "Your wrong."

Olivia felt his arm reach for her hair. Grabbing a handful he pulled straight down slamming her face to the floor. She felt the blood dripping from her nose. Her sweat mixed with the pepper spray making it even more painful.

"What do you want from me?" She said, wondering if she was going to live through this.

She lay still, inches from the bed when she remembered the path her weapon had taken. She was close, wasn't she? She reached her arm out and began to feel frantically hoping her hands would come across it.

It wasn't until she could smell his breath that she realized he was on top of her. He was ready to wreak his havoc on her soul again. She could feel him struggling to get her underwear off. She moved her searching had faster until she felt the cold steel. Olivia slapped at him with her opposite hand as he pulled at her shirt. He forced her hand above her head pining her. She tugged at her gun, it was caught, she tugged again. And perhaps more out of frustration she gathered all of her strength and smashed her head into his face. A perfectly executed head butt that freed her hand to assist the other.

She pulled for the weapon releasing it and smashing the handle of it over his head. He moaned in agony allowing her a get away. She stood immediately and ran blindly for th e bedroom door.

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Elliot was pounding frantically on the door. "Liv!" He yelled. "Liv can you hear me?" He stepped back and kicked...nothing the door remained undaunted.

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Hearing Elliot's voice she felt her way down the hallway, visualizing the interior of her apartment in her mind. She had reached the door.

"Elliot!" She shouted. She managed to turn one deadbolt when she felt her fathers giant hand grab her by the back of the neck and spin her around. She fell to her knees. Her head spinning, her eyes were on fire. She was out of breath. Crawling frantically, she felt the linoleum indicating the kitchen.

As she fought to stand to her feet using the center island in the kitchen as a support. Her kidneys suddenly ripped with pain. Each punch he delivered threatened to shatter them. She turned offering her abdomen as a target, knowing she was more conditioned to absorb blows from that position.

Olivia felt it just behind her back and reached for it. It was the towel Munch had tossed on the counter top. She sidestepped the counter giving her time to get the excess pepper spray from her eyes. He vision was slightly better, enough to defend herself.

"I wish you mom would have been this feisty." He called to her. "I would have enjoyed her more." He laughed.

"I am going to kill you Olivia." He laughed again. "And I am going to enjoy hearing your moans when I do it."

She could see him step in closer, he was still slightly blurred but a target nonetheless.

"Ahhhhh." Olivia shouted as she spun, gathering momentum and kicked squarely into his solar plexus. The intensity of the kick sent him flying back into the wall. Olivia had spotted something on the counter top, it was red. What was it? Could she use it? She searched moving her head to look over the counter. The apple! She told herself. Munch had put a knife somewhere close to that apple.

Her father suddenly rose again charging after her.

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Elliot was frantically working on the door lock kicking and pushing.

"Elliot, both of us at the same time. Ready?" Fin prepared himself.

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Olivia evaded his rush grabbing for his wrist. She was great at submission holds and this submission hold definatly counted. She pulled hard forcing him to lower the trunk of his body. Holding his wrist with both hands she stepped back and delivered a knee to his face. He dropped to his knees and Olivia grabbed for the knife.

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Elliot and Fin charged the door busting through it's center finally. They pulled their weapons and they walked upon a beaten Olivia and a bloody perp. Olivia turned to face Elliot when she felt the hand on her ankle and her body tumble to the ground.

"I am gonna kill you!" he shouted wrapping his hands around her neck. Olivia grasped the paring knife and plunged it into the side of his ribs. He rolled off of her just as Elliot got to her.

"Liv." He grabbed for his wife.

Fin stood over the perp. "Your under arrest...fool."

Munch was in the background on his cell phone. "Yeah send a bus for the perp, well be driving the detective." He folded his phone and walked to Olivia.

Casey approached a very shaken and bruised Olivia. "Liv, put this around you." She whispered offering her coat to her. Elliot took hold of it and covered his wife trying to help her stand. She couldn't with all the energy literally beaten out of her she collapsed into his arms.

Elliot held his wife as Fin and Munch placed cuffs on a stabbed, but very much alive Prep. Olivia was silent.

"Liv? Liv talk to me." Elliot was nervous concerned she was going into shock.

"Did, we get the charge?" She whispered, eyes filling with tears that reactivated the stinging pepper spray. She winced at the pain. Elliot looked at Casey for confirmation and when she shook her head affirmatively he held his wife tighter. "We got it."

Olivia took in a deep breath and then let herself cry in Elliot's arms. He rocked her gently stroking her hair. "It's over Liv. It's finally over." Elliot felt his wife tremble and he could only tell her what he knew. " I love you, I adore you, your beautiful."


	51. Chapter 51 You make a sexy wife

CHAPTER 51

Two weeks after Olivia had provided herself as bait in order to collar her own father, Elliot found himself sitting in a chair starring at his wife as she slept in their bed. Her body enveloped in the down comforter. Her breath steady and smooth. Olivia shifted slightly in the bed and extended her arm reaching for her husband. Her hand felt several parts of the side that she should have found Elliot laying in but when she was unsatisfied with her expedition she opened her eyes.

"Elliot?" She smiled softly. "Still staring huh?" She amused herself.

Elliot stood to his feet and walked to his wife. Softly, he sat on the side of the bed and intertwined his fingers with hers. Without words or hesitation he gently pulled her close to himself, at first hovering over her lips, until she fell into his. Olivia felt his warm breath escaping his nostrils and caressing her face. His hands on her back and neck. Her body shivered as she drew herself to her knees, never breaking their kiss until Elliot finally had to come up for air.

"Wow-" He blushed. She smiled.

"I have something of yours." Elliot reached into his pocket and took out a small box. Opening it up he pulled out the necklace he'd given her. She positioned her body so he could clasp it. He whispered to her. "Your beautiful, I adore you...your fearless." Olivia took his face into her arms and guided him on top of her. She hadn't been able to make love to her husband for two agonizing weeks while she healed. Olivia was making up for lost time.

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Elliot sneaked out of the house after he was confident Olivia would be asleep long enough for him to accomplish his task. He returned with her still sleeping soundly in their bed. He placed the creatures on the bed and encouraged them to walk to Olivia's sleeping body. Elliot slowly climbed onto the bed not wanting to startle her.

He repositioned the smaller of the two creatures in front of her face. The ball of fur liked her nose softly and timid.

"El?" Liv smiled still half asleep. "Sweety, I love you," She said groggily "but you really need a mint."

With that Elliot let out a bellowing laugh sending the creatures yapping in a frenzy. Olivia opened her eyes and saw six looking back at her. Elliot's two eyes stole a peek into her soul. She smiled at him and looked at the two beagle puppies in front of her.

"Elliot!" She smiled taking a pup into her arms. It's fur soft, it's eyes completely trusting." Elliot scooped up the other beagle and laid against the head board allowing his wife to rest her head on his chest and stroke the puppy's belly. Elliot's puppy seemed more focused on chewing his finger.

Elliot stoked Olivia soft hair. "Happy Birthday." He told her. She jerked her head and looked at him. With everything that had been happening she's forgotten her own birthday.

"Thank you." She looked up into his eyes allowing him to kiss her softly. Suddenly, sensing someone staring at the two they stopped and slowly turned their heads to see two puppies staring heads tilted as if to say...huh? Olivia let out a laugh.

"Uh oh, we got prying eyes." Elliot joked rubbing the head of one of the puppies. "What are you naming them Liv?" He asked.

Olivia looked serious. "Wow? I've never named anything...you want me to name both?" She asked him completely serious.

"Absolutely" He responded. Olivia thought for a second and then smiled a sneaky grin.

She held a puppy to her breast and told Elliot. "Elliot meet Cracker, and his brother Jack."

Elliot laughed hysterically playing with the puppies. Holding his wife. His lover and best friend. He pulled her close. "You make a sexy wife."

Olivia blushed and then became serious. "I want to be a good wife to you Elliot, but theres a ton I don't know."

Elliot smiled "That's okay, I don't' know anything about being a husband." he tried to lighten her seriousness.

"You know more than you know." She laughed holding him closer as the puppies ventured to the opposite side of the beds.

"Hey Liv?" He voice was inquisitive his smile was boyish "Know anything about being a mom?"

Olivia froze for a fraction of a second and then deflected his remark, "No. Why? You pregnant?" She laughed.

"No." He responded. "But I thought maybe _we could_."


	52. Chapter 52 Theres more if your up to it

CHAPTER 52

"So, what exactly are you saying?" Olivia asked Elliot softly afraid of his response. She had never even thought of having kids...well that's not true she thought of it the day her mother told her what her father was. "_What if I end up passing along bad blood.? What if I abuse my own children. What if, what if, what if._" The thoughts swirled relentlessly through her mind on a daily basis.

Elliot knew he'd embarked on shaky grounds by opening the subject. "Liv, I am not saying right now, or even in the near future." He took hold of her hand and tucked a tendril of her hair behind her head. "I just don't want you to make a decision based on fears...or 'what if's". Olivia smiled at his words. Elliot knew her so well, knew her likes and dislikes, her pet peeves and now it seemed, even her private thoughts. 'Promise me you'll at least _consider_ it?" Olivia opened her mouth to respond but was cut off by a knock at the door. "_Un- friggin- believable_." She thought to herself. "Who know's we live here?" She mumbbled outloud.

When the door was not answered promptly the unwanted visitor rang the doorbell, which triggered two little puppies into a freenzie. Cracker and Jack tried desperatly to gain their footing on the hardwood floor, they would have to learn to navigate the house overtime. As they rounded the corner Elliot was already opening the door, the puppies tried to stop, tried to apply their brakes but it was futile against the hardwood, they slid infront of the door on their sides just in time for Casey Novak to see them.

"Ahh, Puppies!" She exclaimed walking in and scooping one up. "Ahh what's your name little fella?" She asked as if she would get a reply out of the pup. Elliot closed the door and gathered the other wiggly pup. Olivia emerged from the hallway in a pair of Jeans and one of Elliot's undershirts.

"Casey!" Olivia smiled embracing her best friend. "This little guy is Jack and that one," She pointed to Elliot's captive. "Is Cracker."

"_Cracker and Jack_?" Casey smiled at the name. "That's messed up." She laughed rubbing the puppies belly.

"Well, I suppose I could have named them John and Deere." Olivia smiled retreating to the kitchen "Or how about Harley and Davidsson?" She laughed to herself. Retrieving glasses from the cabinet. "What brings you by Casey? Not that I haven't missed you, I was gonna call you." She filled the glasses with peach tea and offered one to Casey and then Elliot.

"In a sec." Elliot was still trying to get Cracker under control when he motioned for Casey to relinquish Cracker. "I am putting these little battery packs in the back yard, hopefully drain the energy letting them run." Elliot walked out of the door of the kitchen leading into the back yard. "Talk amongst yourselves ladies, I am gonna bond with my boys." He smiled disappearing.

There was something about the way Elliot said 'My boys' that made her realize he _wanted_ children, he _wanted_ to be a father. Olivia's face drew downcast.

"Liv?" Casey snapped her back to attention. "You okay?"

"Huh? Oh yeah." Olivia bit her lip.

"You know Liv, to those of his who know you...your a terrible liar." She grinned. "When your ready to talk I am always available." This was perhaps why Olivia connected so well with Casey.

Don't misunderstand. Olivia hated Casey when they first met. She was a cocky ADA who was always medling in their cases, always at the crime scenes. However, over the past years she had become more down to earth, and even though she pushed Olivia in their work she would never push her to talk about something personal if she wasn't ready. Somehow Casey understood Olivia.

"Hey, I got something for you." Casey lowered her voice and smiled as if telling some giddy school girl gossip. "Well two things actually." she removed a wrapped box out of her bag and slid it over to Olivia.

As Olivia took hold of it she suddenly heard an ear curddling scream come from the back yard. "NO BAAAAAADDDD!" "BAD CRACKER!" The girls peeked their heads out of the window to see Elliot shaking a finger at the beagle as he wagged his tale. "I am telling your mother!" Elliot said as he retreated back into the house.

"What's wro-" Olivia stopped as Elliot turned to face her. His face a fake seriousness he was trying to hide his smile. "Cracker..." Was all he could say motioning to the large urine stain on his shirt.

Olivia almost keeled over in laughter. "Maybe we should of named them Urine and Pistol?" Elliot laughed at her corny joke while Casey rolled her eyes. Neither had seen Olivia exude such freedom, but they enjoyed this new facet of her. "I am gonna shower."

He spoke starting to unbutton his shirt. "Disgusting." He mumbbled down the hallway.

"OPEN!" Casey nudged the box. "Open, your killin me." She smiled.

Olivia pulled the paper off exposing a box. A lamp box. Olivia smiled. "What is it?"

"What do you mean 'What is it?" She furrowed her brows. "It's a babies lamp!"

A large lump rose in Olivia's throat. "A _babies_ lamp?"

"Yeah, you know, the shade has all the cute little designs cut in it. When you turn it on the shade rotates and projects the designs on the wall to sooth the baby to sleep." She pointed to the box reading parts of the advertisment.

Olivia smiled sheepishly and hugged her friend. "Your such a goofball, Casey."

"And _that,_ my good friend, is _why_ you love me." She said arrogantly as she held out a blue brief.

Olivia stared "What's that?"

"Read it." Casey was serious. "Maybe it's a better present than a funky lamp."

Olivia opened the legal brief holding her breath, not exactly sure what she was looking for. Casey could see Olivia's eyes racing over the page.

"Liv, it's official, were bringing your father up on the felicitation counts, and because of you, we got him on the attempted murder. After the trial...he'll never see the light of day again."

Olivia took a deep breath and placed her hands in her back pockets stretching her neck in small circles. "So he's arraigned?" she asked knowing he had to have been within 24hrs. And it had alread been two weeks.

"They arraigned him after he woke up from surgery. Theres more, if your up for it." Casey smiled. "He's ready to be interrogated."

Olivia peered out the window, watching the puppies play in the grass. She took a sip of her cool tea and turned around placing the glass down on the counter. "I'll get Elliot."


	53. Chapter 53 Pandora's Box

CHAPTER 53

"Olivia, we'll be right here on the other side of the glass." Cragen said sympathetically as Olivia and Elliot prepared to walk into interrogation room three.

"I know." Olivia said lowly, shaking her head. Her nerves had taken a beating over the last several weeks and it seemed like everytime she saw light at the end of the tunnel, she also heard the sound of a train.

Fin interjected. "Olivia, be careful he's not cuffed because of the injuries you gave him...not that he didn't deserve them."

"It's okay, Elliot will be with me." She winked at the crew hoping to reassure them by sounding confidant, like it was just another case. She knew it wasn't. It was_ her_ case.

Olivia and Elliot walked to the door of interrogation room three. "Liv? You gonna be able to handle this?" Elliot asked softly. It was one thing to collar a brother she never knew existed...but a father she had been _seraching_ for? Could she handle that? He wasn't sure.

"Elliot, I am good...let's just get this over with." Olivia said, knowing she wasn't 'good' by anymeans, but she was sick of hiding, of not knowing who she came from. She reached out for the door knob. It's cold steel was welcomed against her hot palms. She turned the door knob slowly, plastered on her best interrogation face and opened the door, making her self vulnerable to whatever was on the otherside.

"Olivia sweetheart!" He called out in a sickly fatherly tone as she walked in, Elliot behind her closing the door.

Olivia sat across from her father as Elliot leaned against the wall. Behind Victor, keeping Olivia in front of him.

Olivia opened a case file and spoke without emotion. "It's Detective Benson." She looked up to see a man she'd never met but that looked so much like her. The curve of his lips and outline of his jaw. His almond shaped brown eyes. He was taller than her, but only by an inch maybe two. _So that's where I got my height. _ She thought to herself. He mother had been several inches shorter than Olivia's five foot nine inch frame. His hands long and slender just as her's were.

Victor Lias kept his hair in a short fade. He was clean shaven, slender with a medium build. He stared at Olivia and Elliot as she continued in silence to look over the file she had in her hand. Everything she wanted to know about the stranger before her was being held in her own hands.

"You gonna say something or I am I just here for decoration?" Victor's raspy voice broke the silence.

"Shut up..." Olivia said in a matter-of-fact tone..."I am reading." She flipped calmly absorbing the information infront of her, looking for anything that might shed some light on why he and her brother were so obsessed with her.

"What what in the he-" Victor began to speak but was silenced when Elliot pushed himself off the wall and grabbed the back of the man's collar pulling it back in a ball of fabric, restrictign his air.

"She doesn't like to be bothered when she reads." Elliot hissed in his ear and then forcefully broke his hold of his collar.

"Says here your a professor?" She asked him leaning back in her chair. "Elliot? Tell me something. How does a sick piece of crap such as Mr. Lias become a professor? Or better yet _why_ would he become a professor?"

"I don't know." Elliot responded innocently playing off his partner's lead. "Maybe Professor Lias will enlighten us." He said pushing a yellow legal pad in front of him before sitting next to Olivia.

"Fat chance bacon boy." Victor laughed. "You think I am just gonna come in here and hang myself?"

"Pops, your already hung." Olivia said leaning in, "We have you on tape trying to murder me." She smiled and continued. " I guess the intellegence factor doesn't run too deep on your side of the family, does it?"

Clearly insulted Victor snarled, narrowing his eyes, "I suggest you dont develope a hero complex right now Detective."

"Hero? Hear that Stabler?" She said grinning at her partner. "Daddy thinks I am a hero." Olivia suddenly stood to her feet and side stepped the table overshadowing Victor she spoke aloud. " Well guess what?" She raised the question as she leaned into her father's ear and whispered "I don't give a damn what you think."

Olivia straightened herself and walked casualy with her hands in her pockets looking down. "Elliot I guess theres really two ways of looking at this situation." She began,

"Yeah?" Elliot played as if he were intriqued.

"Well, it seems to me Mr. Lias is gonna go to prisoner for what fifty? Sixty years?" She looked up thoughtfully. "Seems like he could cooperate with us and maybe we could ask that he be segregated from the population."

"Yeah, we could do that _if_ he cooperates, But then what if he _doesn't_?" Elliot continued to follow Olivia's song and dance.

"Well," She said reclaiming her seat and pressing her lips together. "I supppose, we'll still send him to prison, maybe put the word out that he tried to rape and murder his daughter...have a welcoming party." She stared back at her father.

"Benson, come on." Elliot continued trying to play good cop for once. "You know what they do to rapist in prison, he wouldn't have a chance."

"Well then," She reopened the file in front of her. "Seems like it's his choice."

Victor Lias stared coldly back to Olivia and responded calmly. "Do you think you scare me Detective? A man without conscience can not be shaken."

"Well, I suppose that were true...If she were talking to a _man_." Elliot responded with a smirk and furrowing of his eyebrows. "Seems to me, your just a pansy punk like your son."

"You leave my boy out of this!" Victor growled.

"Your _boy_?" Olivia was stunned. She stood to her feet and circled him as if he were wounded prey. Olivia had just found a weak spot and Elliot sat back to watch her pounce. "Your _boy_? Are you _crapping_ me? Let me tell you something old man." She slammed down a piece of paper in front of him with one hand and grabbed his neck shoving his head down forcefully. "Your _boy_ as you put it, just sold you down the river."

Olivia released him "Sure you don't want to talk now?" She asked him arrogantly. She knew she had just gained the upper hand. She had leverage, and if anyone knew how to use leverage on an opponent it was her. "I suggest you start making some better decisions there Pops." She covered the word Pops with loathing and sarcasm.

Victor read only a few sentences of the signed statement his son had given and leaned back in his chair. "I don't work for free." He smiled. "You want something from me, I get something from you." He smiled sadisticaly.

"How about let's not and then say we did." Elliot was growing frusterated with the man's arrogance.

"Shut your mouth Bacon Boy. This is between me and my daughter." Victor said pushing Elliot's button for the third time.

"What do you want to know?" Olivia asked unknowingly opening Pandora's box.


	54. Chapter 54 Is this enjoyable?

CHAPTER 54

"I haven't talked to my daughter in 32 years Detective, I'd like to get to know her." He licked his lips.

Olivia arched her head up looking at him. "Why did you become a professor." She started her questions again.

"Oh that's such a fun one to answer, let's save it for later." He taped his fingers on the table. "I am sure your gonna enjoy it." He stared at her relentlessly.

Olivia turned the flipped the pages of the file stopping. "How did you find my brother?" She placed the file on the table again waiting for an answer.

"That's such a trite question sweetheart." Victor spoke with a small smile. "Can't you do better?" Elliot stood to his feet, he'd had enough of this ballerina's fancy moves.

"Stand up." Elliot's authority spewed from his mouth.

"What?" Victor was caught off guard by the question.

"Stand up freak!" Elliot yelled picking him up by the shirt and slamming him into the wall. Elliot would not take kindly to someone disrespecting his wife. Elliot placed his forearm against the man's throat in order not to leave bruising. He calmed his voice and offered advice to his prisoner.

"I suggest you keep your part of the deal. She's asked you two questions, you've answered none. Do it again and I 'll have to find you in default." Elliot pressed harder "And I will _collect_." Elliot released him and gently slapped Victor's cheek. "You got me?"

Victor returned to his seat rubbing his throat. "I knew your mom was pregnant. When she gave him up for adoption I followed him, kept my eye on _both_ of you."

"Why?" Olivia asked.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Detective. It's my turn now." He leaned onto the table top and clasped his hands together rubbing his thumbs. "Tell me, your mother? Did she think of me often?"

"Most women relive their rapes." Elliot spoke. "Or are you two stupid to know that?"

"Stupid Mr. Stabler?" Victor smiled his best demonic smile. "No, not stupid. Evil? Now there's a plausibility wouldn't you agree? Ms. Benson?"

Olivia furrowed her brows. _Ms_. Benson? Did he not know she was married? "Seems to me it's my turn for the questioning." She continued where she left off. "Why, did you keep tabs on Oliver and me?"

"Isn't that would good father's do?" He asked with mock confusion.

"Yeah, but your not a good father, " Olivia knew she had the propensity to be just as harsh as he could be provided the right atmosphere. She felt this was adequate. "So, I am gonna restate my question one last time..._Why_?"

Victor slammed his fist against the table, "BECAUSE YOU WERE _MINE_!" He growled sharply. "_MY_ KIDS THAT THAT _WINCH_ TOOK!"

Olivia smiled undaunted. "Isn't that sweet Stabler? Daddy here is _protective._" She smiled.

"Tell me something?" Olivia stood folding her arms and pressing her lips. "How is raping your own _son_ and trying to kill your daughter..._protective?"_

"_It wasn't" _He snarled. "That was just the enjoyment of being able too."

Olivia had made her way behind him. She placed her hands on his shoulders and was taken back by his build. For a slender man he had broad shoulders. She ran her fingertips down touching his ribs. "Is this enjoyable?" She asked in a mockery of seduction.

"Oh you don't know the half of it." He closed his eyes. Elliot wasn't exactly sure what was happening, but had to trust his partner.

"Yeah? You like that? Well, what about this?" Her tone was suddenly cruel. As she jabbed her middle and forefinger into the stab wound she'd given him.

Victor yelled out in agony. "What the hell?" he shouted.

"Oh, I am sorry." Olivia spoke innocently. Elliot was shocked at the ease in which she shifted between her mock evilness and her true personality. Elliot had never seen her interrogate anyone like this, but then this wasn't just anyone. She was going for an Emmy.

"I forgot you had an owie." She smiled "I suppose that was just the enjoyment of being able to." She mocked him.

"You were young when you attacked my mother. Why did you pick her?" She asked returning to her normal tone.

Victor was holding his side and clenching his jaw. "I was using the shortcut by the University, when I saw you mother walking out of the library." He paused repositioning his body on the chair trying to stop the aching in his side. "I recognized her as the women next door to me. She was hot." He smiled. "Just like her daughter."

Elliot leaned into Victor's space. "Do you need another two fingered adjustment? Because if you disrespect her one more time, I am gonna have to give you a tune up."

"Your a cocky SOB aren't you Mr. Stabler? Perhaps that's why Olivia is so attracted to you?" He tilted his head just as Cracker or Jack would have.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Olivia asked. How did he know?

"Don't play coy Ms. Benson, I've seen you two on the streets, in the restaurants. The way you look at one another, the sickening love that exudes from your filthy hearts. Makes me vomit in my mouth." He observed her reaction, calculating his next move.

"So you've followed me?" She asked pressing for more information.

"Ah a a, your jumping turns again." He shook his fingers slowly at her.

"How was your first kiss Ms. Benson?" He burned a whole through her staring at her.

"With who?" She asked biding time.

"Oh come off it, you and I both no you were never involved with anyone other than Bacon Boy here." He laughed. "Your heart is as shallow as a kiddie pool."

Victor had pushed Elliot's button...again. Elliot stood reaching for Victor, but his ankle got caught on the table. He stumbled.

Suddenly realizing opportunity had knocked Victor stood taking Elliot by the neck and slammed his face into the one way mirror.

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"Fin get in there!" Cragen called from the other side of the glass. Fin was already moving to the interrogation room.

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Olivia moved quickly but not quick enough to stop the second or third slam of Elliot's face against the glass. She thrust her fist into Victor's wound. He stumbled back turning to face her as Fin burst through the door weapon drawn.

"Make a move and I'll have the enjoyment of being able to." Fin used Victor's own sadistic words as he taunted his gun in front of him.

Munch approached Lias with caution placing the handcuffs. On his wrists, allowing Olivia to go to Elliot who had collapsed conscienceless under a face full of blood.

"Elliot? Elliot?" She spoke loudly. "Detective Stabler wake up!" She yelled shaking his head. Elliot's head remained still in her lap. With tears escaping her eyes she called for her husband again. "Elliot please, you can't leave me...wake up."


	55. Chapter 55 Her blood was ice

CHAPTER 55

Olivia stood on the steps of the 1-6 as the paramedics wheeled her still conscienceless husband into the ambulance.

"Liv, go with him. It's okay, Fin's still interrogating they moved him to room five." Munch placed a friendly hand on her shoulder.

Olivia felt her heart die an agonizing death as the doors to the ambulance closed, her husband unwillingly trapped inside. As the officer pounded on the doors the driver turned on the lights and siren and pulled out into traffic. Olivia suddenly spun around on her heels walking back into the 1-6.

Olivia stormed the hallway of the 1-6 a blackness enveloping her eyes. As she imagined Elliot being rushed away in an ambulance, she turned one corner. Her eyes set on interrogation room five. The closer she came to the room the cooler her blood became.

"Liv? Don't go in there -" Casey tried to stop her but Olivia walked by not so much as blinking.

Turning the doorknob to room five, Detective Benson was no more, the woman she'd become in that moment would take everyone by surprise...perhaps even her father.

Olivia opened the door with enough force that it swung hitting the adjoining wall and then slammed shut startling Fin. Keeping her eyes on Lias she glided in anger to the table turning the tape recorder off. Olivia pulled a now handcuffed Victor Lias out of his chair and slammed his back into the wall, his head bouncing forward as Olivia swung her fist busting his lip open and forcing his head to smack the cement wall again. By the time Victor Lias knew what had happened he was starring down the barrel of Olivia's .9mm handgun. Fin stood to his feet.

"Liv? Calm down baby." He approached her.

"Fin – go for a walk." Olivia's voice was ice cold, and when Fin didn't immediately oblige she yelled at him. "I said GET OUT!"

"Okay, okay." Fin said raising his hands and slowly walking out.

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"Captain you got to do something." Fin said returning to the observation room. Through the glass Cragen was very much aware of what he'd just seen.

"No." he said lowly. "Not yet."

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"No more deals." Olivia said, her gun inches from his bleeding face. "This is what your gonna do." She instructed him with anger flushed cheeks and steely eyes. The warmth that once exuded from her, the compassion that was once there had disappeared. "Your gonna sit your carcass in that chair. I am gonna ask you a question, and your gonna respond using the proper salutation of Detective Benson, you understand me?"

When Victor Lias did not respond in a timely manner Olivia lowered her weapon only enough to back hand the already unstable Lias. He slid to the floor in pain. Olivia stood over him and grabbed his shirt raising his head to her weapon. "You know what your first mistake was?" She shook him violently forcing him to look at her. "You interrupted me while I was reading." She dug her knee into his stab wound. "You know what your second mistake was?" She released the pressure and grabbed his mouth with her hand squeezing it hard. She was close enough to him to see the stubble on his upper lip emerging from it's folicels. "You mistook my grace for weakness," She lowered her voice and narrowed her eyes at him, "That pisses me off." She released him.

"Get up!" She barked. Victor Lias struggled to his feet as Olivia holstered her weapon. When he was still having trouble getting to his feet she grabbed him forcefully by the back of the shirt and slammed him down into the chair.

"Sit!" Her voice had become ruthless. She opened the file and reactivated the tape recorder. Her voice reclaiming it's innocence.

"Why did you become a professor at NYU?" She asked him again.

He cleared his voice and laboriously answered. "To...work...with your...mother."

Olivia arched her brows in shock. The man had purposefully stalked her mother and then got a job at the same facility in order to keep tabs on her.

"What did you teach?" Olivia asked dreading his answer.

"English." He muttered.

"English? It wasn't enough to work at the same facility, you had to work in her department as well?" She asked, her voice growing in intolerance again.

"That was the only way, I could know and keep tabs on you and your brother." He said wiping the blood from his lips.

"When did she give Oliver up for adoption?" She asked half for her own benefit of knowing.

"He was about a year old, he was a spitting image of his dear old dad." He said smiling, blood staining his teeth.

"When did you get a hold of him?" She asked flipping through the file to cooberate his facts.

"He had been adopted at two years old, set his parents house on fire at eight." Victor tried to adjust himself in the chair, he did so slowly not trusting Olivia's sanity...or lack thereof.

"Keep going." Olivia spoke heartless.

"He killed the neighbors dog at ten and took a shotgun to their horse at 13." Victor smiled at Olivia.

"You have the same blood, look at you. Your just as evil as I am, only your to chicken to let it overtake you." He spoke cooly.

"Maybe, maybe not." She spoke starring at him with a fierce glare. "But as I recall, your not the one asking the questions, so shut your mouth until your asked to speak!" She barked in a crescendo of anger.

"When did you adopt him?" She asked again clearly agitated at repeating this question.

"At fourteen." He responded.

"When did you start abusing him?" She questioned without emotion.

"I had to whip him into shape pretty quick. He was so jealous of you. Your all he thought about." He smiled. "I wanted you for myself when you got older but hey, being a parent, sometimes you have to sacrifice right?" He asked in a sickly voice. "I let him channel his anger."

"By raping him?" She interjected.

"He had to be stripped of his boyishness to come into his manhood." He spat back at her.

"And how did he become a man?" She asked him knowing the answer already.

"By conquering his obsession...you." He laughed. "He was so excited. He kept following you, everything you did he knew about."

"When did he start following me?" She asked jotting information down.

" As soon as he came to me." He smiled.

"And the murder? Who's idea was that?" She asked him.

"Don't try and pin me with that, your brother in a lunatic, he kept reliving his night with you with women who looked like you." His face was serious. "He murdered that girl to destroy any piece of worth you might of held onto. Your so friggin stubborn." He sat back shaking his head. "If you weren't so -" he started.

"Don't you dare, pin the actions of you and your _son_ on me!" Olivia slammed her fist against the table, her rage threating to override her intellect again. "I suggest you speak when spoken too." She reminded him.

"What did you come to my apartment for?" Olivia asked knowing full well he intended to kill her but she needed the confession to avoid a trial.

"Detective Benson, when someone tells you how good something taste time and time again, you start to crave it." He smiled. "I wanted to see what was so great about you that your brother had to have you."

Olivia produced a menacing smile as she went for the jugular. "And killing me? Why would you want to kill your own child?" She waited anticipating his bite into the bait.

"You deserved to die!" He yelled, " And if your brother couldn't do it, I would."

Olivia closed the file and leaned back in her chair, as she heard her Captain's voice coming from the intercom.

"We got it Liv."

Olivia stood to her feet shutting of the tape recorder and lowering her mouth to his ear. "Next time you try to hang me," She spoke softly. "Don't get your foot caught in the line."

Olivia stood straightening herself and exited the interrogation room. Casey walked out of the observation room.

"Liv – are you okay?" She asked. Olivia said nothing. She could not move, could not speak. What had just happened? Her mind raced until it stopped on Elliot.

"How's Elliot?" She asked staring at nothing.

"He's still in the hospital..." Casey's voice was tense. "Liv, he hasn't woken up."


	56. Chapter 56 Isn't It Ironic

CHAPTER 56

Olivia could not help to think that it was only several weeks ago that she lay unconcience in a hospital bed with an exceptionally strong Elliot at her side. Today, she would have to be exceptionally strong as her husband laid unconscience in room 633 of Community Hospital.

As Olivia opened the door of the room that held Elliot captive her heart sank looking at her husbands face bound with gauze and bandages, allowing space only for him to breath. Olivia looked around the sterile environment and could not help but to wonder if he had felt the same fear grip his heart when she was in the hospital as she felt now, looking down at him.

Olivia pulled the chair close to Elliot's bedside and gently lowered herself wincing when her sore muscles contracted. Working Victor over in the interrogation room, had taken a tole on her body that had not completely healed from the last altercation. She weaved her hand into Elliot's their wedding bands grazing each other.

"Excuse me?" A women called out entering the room.

"Hi, I am Doctor Richter, are you related to Mr. Stabler?" Although the doctor tried to be soothing, Olivia's heart refused to be comforted. When Olivia realized she couldn't tell the doctor he was her husband a tear fell.

"My name is Olivia Benson from the Special Victims Unit. He's my partner." Olivia said avoiding the doctor and unconsciencely pulling Elliot's hand to her cheek memorizing his touch and suddenly jumping feeling the doctor touch Olivia's shoulder.

The Doctor's voice was low and knowing. "It's okay, whatever you tell me, is between us...Mrs. Stabler."

Olivia turned her head sharply, tears streaming her face. She could not speak but her eyes clearly asked "How?"

"I've been around here awhile," The doctor spoke closing Elliot's file and placing it on the holder at the foot of the bed. "Husbands and wives have a special, undeniable connection." The doctor paused and looked down. "Mrs. Stabler...um...has anyone talked to you about his condition?" She asked hesitantly.

Olivia furrowed her eyes and slowly looked up at the doctor. "Should they have?" She asked alarmed.

"Mrs. -" The doctor was cut off by Olivia's voice.

"OLIVIA!" She bit her lip. "Call me Olivia...please."

"Okay, okay...Olivia we pulled a lot of glass from your husbands eyes. The cuts on his face will eventually heal without scaring most likely but..." The doctor's voice trailed off.

"What?" Olivia said wiping a fallen tear. "What aren't you saying."

The Doctor placed her hand on Olivia's shoulder and spoke softly. " I am sorry Olivia but the surface of your husbands eyes really took a beating. His left retina detached and his main retinal vein in his left eye burst. "

Olivia could not follow along. "What are you trying to tell me?" Olivia took in a breath and feared the worse.

The doctor looked at the floor and shook her head. "Olivia...your husband...may not see again."


	57. Chapter 57 Honey, they are off

Olivia walked through the super market with no particular items in mind except for the puppy chow Elliot asked her to get that morning. However, as she walked aimlessly from aisle to aisle she found herself grabbing random items and placing them in her cart. Olivia turned down the pharmacy aisle grabbing a tooth brush, not that she needed one and a box of 'these' and some of 'those' and proceeded to the pet care aisle.

As Olivia starred at the entire row of dog food her wind swirled. "Which one Elliot?" She whispered out loud wishing he were with her. Olivia looked for the most expensive brand of food, then the cheapest and settled on the average. She grabbed the bag of 'Nutro Max' and heaved it into the basket.

The ride home was blur but Olivia eventually found herself parked in front of the house, her body shaking and her heart racing, as she silently cried knowing the house would be empty. Finally finding the courage to leave the car she gathered the dog food and single bag of items and walked into their silent home.

Filling a bowl with water and one with food she placed them on the kitchen floor and opened the back door calling for her only source of comfort. "Cracker – Jack!" She listened and finally heard the tiny paws brushing through the grass eventually arriving at her feet.

"Hey boys." She forced a happy voice – still strained by the absence of Elliot. Olivia smiled half heartedly watching Jack sit in the water bowl as Cracker got down to business chomping his food.

She opened her bag of purchased items, almost surprised there was a bag. "_Pretzels_?" She asked herself. "I _hate_ pretzels." Casting them aside she pulled out various items.

"Cotton balls?" Did I grab someone else's bag? She thought to herself.

"Toothbrush?" She found herself more confused remembering Elliot had just bought her one the first day they were in the house. Frustrated with her purchase she stopped inspecting the bag leaving it on the counter top.

Olivia retreated to the bathroom, showering alone, remembering Elliot's touch just two weeks prior. Brushing her teeth, she smelled his aftershave. It was strong. "_He must have spilled, washing up after the Cracker incident this morning._" She thought to herself rinsing her mouth and replacing the toothbrush next to Elliot's. She smiled as she wiped her mouth, remembering Elliot's reaction to Cracker's accident.

Olivia pulled out a pair of black 'boy shorts' and scrounged around for Elliot's favorite shirt. Feeling the cotton caress her skin she embraced the scent of her husband.

"CrackerJack!" She called the puppies as though there were only one. "Come on boys – it's past your bedtime." She glanced at the clock "Eleven O'clock." She thought laying the beagles down on the bed. "Who am I kidding, it's past my bedtime." Olivia slipped between the sheets grabbing for the pillow that Elliot would have rested his head on if he were next to her. She pulled it to her chest allowing her body to curve into the fetal position She rested her cheek against the soft pillowcase. As Cracker and Jack nestled their bodes against hers she cried silently wondering if the only man who had seen her cry would ever have that same pleasure.

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Olivia slowly woke as she felt the cold noses of he newest sidekicks. "Ah-come on guys." She growled turning over. The puppies persisted in pawing at the back of her head, chewing her hair. Olivia opened her eyes to see the red numbers of the alarm clock glaring at her.

"Two friggin thirty seven...in the morning no less." She mumbled, prompting anxious yaps from the pups.

"Alright alright – let's go potty." She begrudgingly exited the comfort of the bed and helped 'Team CrackerJack' off the bed. Staggering to open the back door Olivia mumbled to the pups. "Your timing sucks." She let them loose and sat on the porch step as they sniffed the lawn, each finding his own lace to make 'a charitable donation.'

Olivia thought to herself "Puppy Catheter. Now there's a money maker." She continued her supervision of the puppies until she was startled by the phone ringing.

"Yep." Olivia stood up exaughsted. "Suppose I should have saw that one coming." She glanced at the caller I.D allowing the phone to ring again. "_Community Hospital_?" Olivia snatched the receiver out of it's cradle.

"Hel – hello – yes?" Olivia fumbled.

"Mrs. Stabler, this is Doctor Richter." A female voice spoke.

"What's wrong? Why are you calling so early? Is he okay?" Olivia was frantic, Doctor's don't call unless somethings wrong. Nurses call when they need information.

The doctor cut off her questions. "Olivia – it's okay- Elliot woke up. He's very agitated though – he's asking for you."

"I'll be right there." Olivia said before pausing. "Thank you for calling I didn't mean to sna-"

"It's fine." The doctor replied with a chuckle not allowing the apology to come to fruition. "I wanted to tell you personally instead of having the nurse call you. I'll be looking for you."

Olivia tore through the house dressing and moving simultaneously. She needed to be with Elliot.

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As Olivia neared Elliot's room she was stopped by a nurse. "I am sorry you can't go in there ma'am."

"Why?" Olivia asked. "The Doctor called and told me to come."

"I understand," The nurses voice was cold. " but he's been pulling his IV out and insisting he doesn't need to be here. He tried to take his bandages off."

"Does he know about his eyes?" Olivia asked almost scared of the answer.

"No – after the surgery to reattach his retina they doused his eyes with Ladicane, it's a numbing medication. As a result his eyes don't hurt so he feels that only his face is injured."

Olivia bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes. "I am going in."

"But ma'am?" The nurse protested

Olivia suddenly felt her body snap around looking at the nurse. "That man has been with me every time I needed him...sometimes when I didn't want him. Don't tell me I can't be there for him!" Olivia hissed then turned around and walked into his room.

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" I said let me go home!" Elliot barked as the door opened. Olivia walked silently to him aware the hospital staff had strapped his arms to the bed so he wouldn't pull out the IV.

"Please...' Elliot's voice was tired...pleading. "Call my wife, where is she?" His voice reduced to whisper.

Olivia placed her hand in his. "El- honey? I am right here." She spoke softly holding back her tears. "I see yo still haven't gotten over your hospital phobia huh?" She smiled to herself.

"The Doctor is mean." Elliot moved his bound hands.

"No she's not." Olivia said thankful he was till is facetious self.

"Liv? Have they talked to you? They won't tell me anything." Elliot's voice was serious – distant. With what Olivia was about to tell him she was thankful he'd been restrained. As Olivia took a breath to tell him the doctor walked in.

"How are we doing _now_ Mr. Stabler?" She asked suggesting he should be calmer next time. Olivia sat slowly knowing what was about to come.

"I'd be doing better if you'd take the bandages off my face so I can see my wife." He spoke with a mockery of calmness.

The doctor looked at her watch. Well, the Ladocain should have worn off." She retrieved surgical scissors from her jacket and cut alongside Elliot's face removing the bandages.

Olivia raised one hand to her mouth holding back her sobs as she saw his swollen and battered face.

"What can you see Mr. Stabler?" The doctor asked.

"What is this a trick question?" Elliot smiled. "Take the bandages off and I'll tell you." He responded frustrated.

Olivia bowed her head before leaning into him, pain inscribed on her face. "El." She placed her hand gently on his temple allowing hims to feel her next sentence. "Honey, the bandages are off."


	58. Chapter 58 Another Calculated Move

CHAPTER 58

Three days after Olivia broke the news to Elliot that he may not see again he remained silent. Olivia took the time to make the necessary arraignments to their home to aid Elliot in his everyday activities. The doctor had warned Olivia that Elliot would be an emotional rollarcoaster but Olivia was not prepared for a total loss of communication. While she had pushed him away before, Elliot had _never_ pushed her away.

As Olivia continued in her thoughts she hung the last piece of clothing she'd sorted of Elliot's, when she realized "Team CrackerJack" was howling relentlessly. Olivia discovered the source of their anxiety came from the front door. She looked thought the poop hole and was surprised to see Casey waiting on the other side. Olivia opened the door smiling.

"Casey! Come in come in." Olivia opened the door wider.

"Hey Liv – I came by to see how you were doing." Casey said wrapping her arms around Olivia.

"Um – I have to pick up Elliot from the hospital this afternoon so I've been getting things ready." Olivia said shoeing the pups into the backyard.

"How is he?" Casey asked placing her hand on Olivia's shoulder as she opened the refrigerator and handed Casey a bottle of water. Taking their seats at the kitchen table. Olivia bowed her head and took a deep breath.

"He asked me to leave Casey." Olivia whispered.

"What!" Casey was shocked. "What do you mean leave?"

"When I told him the doctor's diagnosis... " Olivia stood retrieving the bag of pretzels from the counter before sitting again. "he was so angry he yelled at me to get out." Olivia opened the bag and crunched a pretzel.

Casey furrowed her brows both at what she'd just heard and what she was seeing.

"Pretzel?" Olivia offered.

"No thanks..." Casey was still stunned. " I am more of a chip person." her voice trailing off.

"Oh – got some." Olivia said chewing. Olivia stood to her feet and was suddenly overtaken by a wave of nausea.

"Liv? You okay?" Casey stood but before she could reach her Olivia darted to the bathroom kneeling down and vomiting.

Casey stood in the threshold, "Olivi-" Her voice was soothing. "What can I do?"

Olivia stood shakenly reaching for her toothbrush. She took a breath trying to stable himself. "Can you get the bottle of Emetrol out of the kitchen please?" Olivia asked placing a toothpaste covered toothbrush in her mouth.

"Medicine in the kitchen?" Casey asked

"It's an Elliot thing." Olivia said between brush strokes. Casey obliged returning as Olivia washed her face.

"Here ya go." She handed Olivia a slender box.

Olivia laughed in surprise. "What is this? Your joking right?" Olivia smiled blushing.

"That's funny I was going to say the same think to you?" Casey smiled folding her arms.

"Casey – I grabbed the wrong bag at the market – why would I buy a _pregnancy_ test?" Olivia asked hading it back to Casey.

"Maybe because _your pregnant_." Casey pushed the slender box back to Olivia who laughed.

"Casey – come on _I am not _pregnant." She smiled shaking her head in disbelief.

"Right, okay Liv. Let me let you in on a little secret..." Casey straightened herself.

"Yeah what's that?" Olivia challenged her with friendly banter.

"You _hate_ pretzels Liv." She leaned forward arching her eyebrows emphasizing her point.

Olivia thought to herself that it was odd that she suddenly liked pretzels...a food that normally would make her gag. But her enjoyment of a food didn't mean squat to her. "I expected a better argument from an ADA." Olivia smiled hanging the hand towel on the bar.

"Oh okay," Casey straightened her shirt. "How about the woozing, the vomiting _and_ the pretzels? Thats' a whole lot of nothing for someone who's never sick." Casey folded her arms again.

Olivia stared down at the box. Was it possible that when she'd went to the market that her intellect took over her damaged emotions? Could her body have grabbed for the things it needed while her heart longed for the one she loved?"

"Casey? What's today?...the number? Olivia asked clarifying her question.

"The 23rd, why?" Casey suddenly realized what Olivia was getting at. Olivia arched her brows in surprise and looked at Casey. "I am...late."

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"Take the test." Casey whispered.

"Um I will – later." Olivia replied bleakly. "I have to get Elliot."

"Liv...um...look, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but..." Casey's voice trailed off as Olivia looked up at her pulling a blouse over her camisole.

"Your broth-...er... Oliver withdrew his guilty plea they want a trial." Casey searched Olivia's face.

"On what grounds? He _confessed_ Casey!" Olivia shouted.

"There going for insanity. Suggesting he's insane because he pleaded guilty to a crime he supposedly didn't commit." Casey was shaking her head fully aware that she had just dealt her best friend another curve ball. Sometimes she hated her job.

"He's not crazy." Olivia said matter of factly. Casey blinked somewhat shocked. "Liv, the man had one of the most intricate rape sprees I've seen. How can you figure he's not crazy?"

"Casey, thats just it...hes not crazy for doing what he did...he's calculated." Olivia grabbed for the door locking it behind the two. Olivia walked down the steps of the porch Casey in suit. "Withdrawing his plea is just another calculated move."

Both women stood at the doors to their cars. "A calculated move towards what though?" Casey asked across the roof of her Toyota.

"It's one last shot at me." Olivia said opening the door. "By getting me on the stand he gets to relive the night of the attack. In essence...hes raping me again...only in public." Olivia closed the door and started the vehicle, backing slowly away from a dumbfounded Casey.


	59. Chapter 59 Don't you dare do that to me

CHAPTER 59

Who's there? Elliot called out into the atmosphere as Olivia entered his room. "El, it's Me." She spoke softly, the sting of him asking her to leave still very much evident in her heart.

"Time to go home?" Elliot asked already standing – feeling to keep his balance. Olivia took in a deep breath knowing Elliot felt frustrated not being able to see. Olivia reached for his arm to lead him when he violently withdrew it.

Olivia bit her lip this time out of anger forcing it down within her. She knew Elliot played by the 'macho man' rules but she also knew he was hurting and sensitive on the inside, she just didn't know how to get there.

"Fine." She responded in a whisper, "The door is about eight feet to your right, I'll see you In the car. Olivia grabbed his bags in frustration and walked out of the room on her way to the car.

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It was nearly 15 minutes later that Olivia spotted Elliot as she waited by the car. She had no intentions of hurting him but, if the softness of her love could not help him then there was no other alternative than to make him realize he needed her, even if it was through tough love.

Nearly twenty minutes after she spotted him she kept her eye on his figure as he walked down the aisles of cars in the parking lot, a hospital issued cane extended. There was something about the cane that made everything real to Olivia. What's he doing? She asked herself straining to see Elliot reach out to touch every vehicles rear end that he passed. It dawned on Olivia that you could not call Elliot stupid – incredibly stubborn and pig headed...yes, but not stupid. He was searching each vehicle for a dent just above the right taillight that would only be found in Olivia Mustang.

After nearly 45 minutes of watching Elliot stumble, almost fall, and touch car after car, not finding her, her heart sunk as she walked to him.

"Elliot." Her voice was soft. "Please take my hand." She extended hers meeting with his. At first Elliot did not grasp hers. "It's okay." She was softer. Elliot took hold of her hand, letting his wife guide him back to the car.

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Olivia led Elliot to the couch allowing him to rest. As he sat Olivia turned to walk to the kitchen when Elliot spoke. "Where are the kids?" He asked.

Olivia froze. The kids? She thought. What's he talking about? Can he somehow sense I am pregnant...wait...am I? He thoughts swarmed.

"Liv" Elliot called for her listening for her response. "Where's Cracker and Jack?"

Olivia closed her eyes and let out a smile. She opened the back door and called for the puppies. She returned to sit next to Elliot patting her lap for the puppies to climb up. Elliot held each beagle pup, rubbing his hands over them mapping them in his mind. Suddenly his brows furrowed and his smile faded.

"Elliot? Take to me...what's wrong?" she put her hand on his.

"I can't distinguish between them." He whispered defeated.

"Yes you can." She took his hand and led it to Jack's collar allowing his fingers to feel the bone shaped tag. "This is Jack." She whispered to him guiding him to the next collar, allowing him to feel the circular tag, "This is Cracker." She whispered softer. Olivia took his hand and placed it against her cheek. "This is me." Her voice barely audible as team "CrackerJack" made their way to the pit to refuel on puppy chow.

"I am sorry I pulled away from you Olivia." He felt the moisture of her tears over his thumbs as he held her face. She leaned into his caress letting him know that while it hurt to see him do that, she understood and was willing to make her self vulnerable even still. Using his thumbs as a guide he lowered his face to hers and kissed her gently.

"I don't suppose you'd know where I can find a bedroom do you?" Elliot asked fecitiously.

Olivia smiled quietly taking his hand and leading him to their bedroom. He wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her back into his chest. Unbuttoning her blouse from behind he caressed her neck with his mouth. He allowed the shirt to drop and felt the smooth texture of the camisole she was still wearing. "What color is this?" He asked smiling.

"Dark blue." She smiled, knowing he was envisioning her in his mind as he removed it from her body.

"And this?" Elliot's face was much more intense as he focused on unclasping her bra.

"Black." She shuddered as he glided over her bare back with the very tips of his fingers, emphasizing every curve until he followed her spine down to the tops of her pants. Caressing her neck with his mouth he slowly unbuckled her jeans from behind lowering them over her hips and past her thighs. Elliot teasingly took hold of the waist of her panties. "And these- what color are they?" He whispered intently, his warm breath causing her nipples to rise.

Olivia turned facing him and brought his lips to hers. "Whatever color you want them to be." She said reaching for his shirt and gently pulling it over his shoulder and head careful not to rub his eyes. She stepped in closer to him pressing her breast against the warmth of his chest. Olivia could feel his heart beginning to match her own rhythm as she removed the rest of his clothing.

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Where's the bed?" He smiled a boyish grin.

"Behind me." Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Good." He spoke wrapping an arm around her waist and gently taking her to the top of the bed. He could feel her body heat rise, her breathing becoming more intense. She called to him and patiently awaited the pleasure of having her husband inside her, but with each attempt to enter her that he made, Elliot's body failed him.

Exhausted and frustrated, he collapsed his body over hers, resting his forehead on her shoulder.

"It's okay Elliot." She whispered in his ear. Making love was not the most important thing to Olivia however, being loved and giving love was.

Frustrated with himself Elliot rolled away from her and sat on the edge of the bed, his head hung low. He reached for the sheet covering his lap. "If you want an annulment, I'll understand." He managed to speak.

"WHAT?" Olivia shrieked pulling Elliot's shirt over her head and pulling it down to cover her frame. She stood approaching him. "What's that suppose to mean Detective Stabler?" She asked . Although Elliot couldn't see her he knew that with those words, and that tone of voice she would be striking that pose he dreaded the most.

"It means I don't want you to waste your life having to take care of me. LEAVE!" he growled as he flexed his fist in the air in what was a sure mixture of anger and embarrassment.

Olivia stood still – Well I guess that was the rollarcoaster the doctor mentioned. She thought to herself. Elliot stood to his feet and growled through a clenched jaw. "I don't need your help!"

Before Olivia could process the information completely she pushed Elliot back onto the bed. The force of her contact producing a loud thud against his chest. "Don't you dare push me away with that macho man crap Stabler." She spoke not so much out of anger as she did out of hurt. Kneeling down she took his face into her hands "If there is one thing you'd better grasp Elliot," She spoke firmly "It's that I love you." Her voice becoming softer as she searched his face. "I am not ashamed of you." She lowered her hands touching his legs, letting him know she was still infront of him.

" I know you can't see me, but you can touch me." She placed his hand gently over her breast. "You can smell me." She brought his head down to her neck allowing him to memorize her scent. "And you can taste me." She said separating his lips with her tongue and allowing him to enjoy the flavor of her mouth. Elliot was stuck between his pride and the woman he loved.

"If you push me away because our marriage just got a little complicated," She held back her tears and silently cursed her voice for cracking as she continued, "Then everything that you have spoken into my life becomes meaningless."

Elliot turned his head taking a breath with the intention of speaking when Olivia grabbed his mouth forcing his head to face her. Even if he couldn't see her she would see him eye to eye. As she cried she spoke angrily full of hurt "Don't you dare to that to me Elliot."


	60. Chapter 60 Tell me what you see

CHAPTER 60

Three weeks after Olivia and Elliot's 'talk' both were sleeping calmly in the safety of one anothers arms. The welling in Elliot's eyes had disipated enough that the doctor's optimisticaly performed a surgery only two days ago, giving Elliot hope he would one day look at his wife again. In the meantime Olivia had told Elliot about the plea withdrawel, her frustration overtook her sanity and the only thing she knew to do was allow Elliot to hold her.

As the sun rose peeking through the curtins of their room, 'Team CrackerJack' stirred at the bottom of the bed as Olivia shifted her body in her sleep, her eyes suddenly opening, realizing that Elliot's arms were holding her as tight as they where when they fell asleep brought her no comfort when she felt a wave of nausea pulsate her body.

"El?" She tried to break free of his possessive grasp but was running out of time. "El! Wake up I am gonna puke!" She yelled startiling him enough that he broke his grasp.

Olivia ran to the bathroom her hand sealed tightly over her mouth, releasing just in time as she kneeled before the toilet. Several seconds later Elliot had felt his way to the threshold of the bathroom door.

"Liv? Honey you okay?" He asked softly as he ran his hand along the edge of the sink, allowing it to guide him to her. Elliot kneeled next to her rubbing her back and holding her hair away from her face as her body continued to contact. When it was evident she was finished he felt for a hand towel and offered it to her.

"Wow – what was that all about Liv?" He teased a shaking Olivia hoping to bring her some comfort.

"Obviously a product of your cooking." She teased back still laughing and still ill. "Elliot?" She placed a hand on his chest. "Could you grab me some pretzels while I brush my teeth and then I'll help you get ready?"

"Sure." He responded hesitently. "What cabinet?" He asked.

"Bottom shelf, right side over the main counter." She anunciated brushing vigerously. Elliot had mastered the layout of the house well enough the she didn't mind letting him venture off alone for small tasks. She tried to stay close when he cooked and she didn't have any doubts when he checked the mail or took out the trash. It seemed after that night when he first came home, that he had had decided to stay the course...sight or no sight.

While rinsing her mouth Olivia suddenly remembered the pregnancy test in the medicine cabinet. "Still late." She thought to herself and then quickly spit out the excess mouthwash and opened the slender box. Hearing Elliot's bare feet against the wood floors of the hallway forced her to stall for time.

"El the Emetrol too please." She called out. Olivia quickly opened the box and scanned the directions. She took in a deep breath and then took the test. When she looked at the test there was nothing. She scanned the directions again.

"Three minutes!" She spoke aloud. "Ahh, that's forever." she spoke as Elliot walked in.

"Three minutes for what Liv?" He placed a small container of pretzels on the counter next to a bottle of Emmetrol.

Olivia froze. _Think, think, think_, "Uh, I was thinking of making three minute eggs but it's been forever since I've made them." She lied. Elliot went to speak before she cut him off with a kiss. _When in doubt plant one_. She thought to herself. When they seperated Olivia opened a drawer and placed the test in. _Still no indicator_. She thought looking at it one last time before she withdrew a razor.

"Ready for your close up?" She asked Elliot as she retrieved his shaving gel from the medicine cabinet. Elliot had tried to shave himself but the last time he had cut himself so badly he was hesitant, and while the stuble was a turn on for Olivia, Elliot couldn't stand being in public unshaven. "We need to be at your doctor's in an hour." She reminded him.

Elliot's jaw tensed and although his eyes were bandaged after the recent surgery she knew he was thinking about something. "El-if you don't want me to sha-"

"Olivia..." Elliot's voice was tense, his mind in thought. "You _hate_ pretzels."

"So I've been told." She laughed spraying the gel into her hand.

"Then why would you eat them?" He asked as she lathered his stubled face.

"I don't know detective – tastebuds change." She raised the razor. "Ready?"

Elliot stayed silent. There was no way he was going to interrogate her while she had a razor in his face. Especially over something like pretzels. _Who cares if she likes pretzels_. He thougth to himself.

As he felt his wife take the first stoke against his skin, the sound of the stuble against the razor reminded him of sandpaper. When the first stroke was complete he thought to himself, _Well not filleted yet. _Elliot relaxed as she continued, over his lip carefully running the razor between hot water and his skin. As Olivia rinsed the razor – almost done with the project Elliot reached for her hand.

"I am sorry Liv." His voice was low as he reached for and took hold of her hand.

"Sorry? For what?" She was shocked.

"I am sorry I hurt you Liv." He lowered his head.

She tiped his head up and wiped his cheeks and lips. "Elliot, we've both been under stress." She responded knowing that was the truth, but also knowing that when he told her he didn't need her, it broke her heart. She held his shirt up as he placed his arms through the sleeves.

As she buttoned his shirt he took hold of her hands, "I am so sorry, I told you I didn't need you Liv." His voice cracked. "I'd be nothing without you Olivia." He stepped closer reachign for her face. He felt her tears and mentally kicked himself knowing he was the cause of them. "Please forgive me." He finally humbled himself.

Olivia embraced his lips with her own, kissing him softly and then whispering. "Thank you."

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Olivia and Elliot waited nervously for the surgeon to walk in the room. Elliot sat quietly on the examination table as Olivia stood to straighten his tie. He had been so pleased with himself for finding the tie and tieing it without help that Olivia didn't have the heart to tell him it didn't match his shirt.

"Thank you." He smiled confidently. A confidence that disapated as the door opened.

"Ah Mr. Stabler, nice to see you _out_ of the straps." Dr. Richter teased him.

Olivia smiled sitting down – fighting with the next bout of nausea.

"Hey give me a break." Elliot chuckeled. " I wore a tie, I am a gentleman." He smiled.

"Yeah gentleman pirate." Olivia laughed at her own joke as she opened a plastic baggy of pretzels to clam her stomach. Elliot blushed at being one upped by his wife, he'd find a way to get her back.

"Well, shall we get this going?" The doctor asked Elliot while motioning Olivia to sit on the stool in front of him.

"Elliot, I didn't make any gurantees." The doctor spoke business like. "But heres for trying."

Olivia straightened herself on the stool her unbalanced stomach turning into knotts. She bit her bottom lip and motioned for the doctor to proceed.

"Alright Mr. Stabler." The doctor readied him as she removed the patched. "Tell me what you see.?

A/N IN ANSWER TO SOME QUESTIONS THIS IS BOTH OF THEIR FIRST MARRIAGES. SORRY I MISS THE SPELLING, THANKGOD THIS IS A HOBBY AND NOT A PROFESSION. LOL. AND THE 'POOP HOLE' YEAH DIDN'T SEE THAT, I THINK I AM GONNA LEAVE IT JUST FOR KICKS THOUGH. LOL THANKS FOR ALL OF YOUR REVIEWS, I CHECK MY EMAIL CONSTANTLY TO SEE WHAT YOU GUYS ARE THINKING AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT YOUR EMAILS AND REVIEWS DIRECT THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE TWO. I LOVE YOUR THOUGHTS. ESPEIALY KADYDIDIT. YOUR TOO FUNNY.


	61. Chapter 61 What's the verdict?

CHAPTER 61

Elliot struggled to open his swollen eyes. He grimaced as he forced his eyelids to open. Squinting rapidly, his bloodshot eyes watered.

"Mr. Stabler?" The doctor asked with concern. "Can you tell me what you see?"

Elliot shook his head. "I can't see anything." He said causing Olivia's eyes to water and her head to bow. As Olivia wiped her fallen tear Elliot leaned towards Olivia and whispered "Except the beautiful woman in front of me of course." He smiled reaching for his wife's face.

"What?" Olivia whispered choking back tears. "Can you see me?" She asked believing she had heard wrong.

Elliot held her precious face in his hands giving a small smile."Well, it's very blurring like seeing someone underwater...but yeah, I can see you Liv."

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By the time the doctor wrote Elliot a prescription and sized him up for a special pair of glasses to shield him from the sun, Olivia found herself sick and clean out of pretzels. She knew Elliot was talking with the doctor but as her body heat rose she could not concentrate on his words. Feeling her skin become clammy, she held her head between her knees trying to rush oxygen to her head.

"Mrs. Stabler?" The doctor's voice was concerned. "Are you okay?"

Elliot turned sharply searching for the blurry figure that was his wife. "Liv? What's wrong.?" He called, carefully making his way to her. She lifted her once sexy olive colored face to reveal a sickly pale pallet.

"I...uh...um." She tried to stand up using Elliot's forearm as a crutch but just as she reached her maximum height her knees failed her allowing her body to crash to the floor before Elliot could get his arms around her.

"Olivia? Liv wake up!" He shook her gently holding her head in his lap. The doctor knelt beside her waving smelling salts in front of her nose. "Mrs. Stabler." She called Olivia back into conscienceness gently.

Perhaps it was the sudden collapse, her body temperature or the wooziness she'd been fighting for the last three weeks but just as soon as Olivia's eyes fluttered opened and she recognized the vile smell as the same that her brother used during the attack, her body contracted violently and before she could turn away from Elliot she vomited in his lap.

Undaunted Elliot held her letting her catch her breath. "It's okay Liv." He whispered kissing her warm forehead. Olivia sat up resting the back of her head on the wall. "So, that was sexy huh?" She smiled at her own sarcastic remark.

"Wouldn't of had it any other way." Elliot smiled helping her to a chair.

"Elliot-" The doctor spoke handing him his prescriptions. "Take these to the front desk and then they'll give you some scrubs to wear home. Okay?" She smiled.

"But I wanted to-" He protested before being cut off.

"Mr. Stabler, I'll take good care of her for you." She reassured him walking him to the door.

"Olivia – please take a seat." The doctor motioned to the examination table.

"Oh I'm fine doctor." Olivia said examining her jeans and Hollister shirt for any residue she may have missed.

"Mrs. Stabler, you just collapsed in my office...sit!" Her voice was authoritative but not angry.

Olivia slowly pushed herself up on the table and kept her head down in a fruitless effort to stop the room from swimming. "Olivia, when was your last physical? The doctor spoke softly.

"Um...the last time I had one was for the police department about two years ago." She responded in a low voice scared of vomiting at any moment.

"Here." The doctor handed her a kidney shaped pale. "Just in case your stomach gets a little froggy on you again." She smiled.

"When was your last menstral cycle?" The doctor asked handing Olivia a paper cup of water to rinse her mouth.

"Um...about six weeks ago I guess, maybe eight." Olivia answered then took the water into her mouth swishing it from side to side and depositing it into the pale.

"Why so long?" The doctor asked covering her hands with gloves to wipe up Olivia's 'charitable contribution.'

"I am under a lot of stress so I am rarely regular." Olivia made excuses.

"Oh, I see." The doctor relied. "And do you usually get sick like this when you are stressed?" She put the used paper towels in the biohazardous bin.

"Last time I puked I was seven, my mother made me clean it...I don't get sick." She said coldly.

"Olivia – could you be pregnant?" The doctor asked with a smile.

"Preg...What? Me pregnant? No...nope, absolutely not." Olivia fumbled as she felt her body go cold, and her stomach fall, banging into her kneecaps that were shaking.

"You had your tubes tied? Birth control?" The doctor pushed for specifics causing Olivia to tense.

"No." She said rubbing the back of her neck as she bit her lip.

"Olivia-"The doctor stood in front of her. "Would it be so bad if you _were_?"

"Yes." The word seeped quietly out of her mouth before she could edit it.

"Why?" The doctor continued to prod her.

"I guess..." Olivia arched her brows surprised by her own thought. "I guess, I don't think God would trust me with a baby." She continued bitting her lip trying to keep her composure.

"Why do you think that Olivia?" The doctor's voice switched from business woman to a friend willing to hear Olivia's concerns.

Olivia swallowed. "My family tree is full of rotten fruit." She popped her thumb knuckle out of nervousness. "I just don't want to keep passing on the poisonous blood. I don't want to hurt my own child...that's why I _can't_ be pregnant."

"Olivia theres only one way to know...put this gown on and I'll be back." She said softly as Olivia nodded her head in agreement.

Olivia began to strip from the comfort of her own clothes only to don the sterile gown. She couldn't stop her mind from racing. "What if I am pregnant? We haven't been married long enough to take on more responsibility. What about work? What if I am a bad mom?"

After putting the gown on she folded her clothes neatly to avoid wrinkles placing them on the chair as the doctor walked in.

"Just lay back and relax Olivia." The doctor's friendly voice allowed her to relax as she placed her legs in the stirrups.

"Wow, this is a catch all room huh? Came in for my husbands eyes and I am flat on my back." Olivia laughed nervously.

"Relax Olivia, we do this all the time." She soothed her by changing the subject. "You see that picture on the counter?" The doctor asked beginning her examination.

Olivia looked at the framed picture of what seemed to be the doctor's family. "Your family?" She asked already knowing the answer.

"Yeah, My husband and I couldn't have children so we adopted Stephen when he was thirteen and Rebecca when she was eleven." The doctor paused.

"They look like good, happy kids." Olivia smiled and then suddenly winced feeling pressure from the doctor's procedure.

"Sorry." The doctor replied before finishing her story. "They look that way because they are good and happy kids." The doctor's voice became more serious. "You would never know that her mother was a prostitute who beat her and used her to turn trix when she couldn't, and you would certainly never know that Stephen's father killed his mother." The doctor finished her examination placing the latex gloves in the garbage.

Olivia sat up anxiously waiting for the doctor's answer.

"I love my children Olivia, we offer them safety and unconditional love. They've both made mistakes but in the end love won out." This was not the answer Olivia was looking for. She looked at the doctor confused.

"Olivia. Did you ever think that maybe God wants you to have a child because he knows you can do it?" The doctor's question striking a fragile chord with Olivia. She stood quickly reaching for her clothes, slipping her panties on first and then her jeans.

"God turned his back on me a long time ago." Olivia said turning her back to the doctor allowing the gown to fall so she could return her T-shirt to it's rightful place. She kept her back to the doctor and placed her hands on her hips. "What's the verdict?" She whispered. "Am I pregnant or not?"

Doctor Richter approached Olivia slowly placing her hand on her shoulder. "Olivia, the verdict is that sometimes when we hurt so bad, we think were the only ones that are hurting." Olivia bowed her head blinking back tears and the doctor continued. "Sometimes we feel God has turned his back on us and the reality is that we've turned our back to him."

Olivia turned around searching the doctor's face. "Iam pregnant aren't I?" She whispered.

"Yes...you are Olivia. Six weeks" The doctor responded.

After a moment of silence there was a knock at the door and Elliot stepped in. "Are you still alive?" He smiled.

"Um...yeah, yeah I am. I was just coming out to you." She said walking to the door. As she turned her back to leave the doctor spoke on last thing.

"Olivia?" She called causing her to stop but she would not turn her face back to her.

"Remember one thing. A bad tree_ can_ produce_ some_ good fruit, the farmer just has to pay attention to the nurture he or _she_ provides."


	62. Chapter 62 Her decision was made

CHAPTER 62

It was nearing four O'clock in the morning and Olivia lay restless in bed next to Elliot who was sound asleep. Olivia rolled her body to face her husband. Lightly placing her hand on his cheeck she felt the strength in his face as he slept. She positioned herself closer to Elliot kissing him softly on his lips, feeling the heat crash against her mouth with each steady breath he took.

"Elliot." She whispered softly.

"Mmmmm." Was his response. As he allowed her to turn her back to his chest.

"Do you love me?" She asked softly as a tear escaped her eye.

Elliot's eyes opened, his world more clear than the last time he'd seen her. Elliot pulled her close to him. "I love you." He said with furrowed brows confused as to the question.

"Would you love me if I dindn't want to have kids?" She asked curling her body into the fetal position trying to escape his grasp.

Elliot was shaken by her question but responded truthfuly nonetheless. " Olivia, I would love to have children with you, but I am not going to force you to do anything. Love is sacrifice, and I'll always make sure your wants come before my own."

There was something in what Elliot said that caused Olivia to see her world and more specifically her marriage just a little bit clearer. Olivia let out a sob as she pulled Elliot's arms tighter around her body. "Please don't let me go...I am afraid."

Elliot pulled her tighter still, confused at the dialogue between the two. He had never heard her say to anyone that she was afraid of anything, yet here her trembling body lay helpless in his arms. Afraid.

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Elliot awoke to find the other side of the bed empty. He smiled to himself remembeing the last incident in which he looked franticaly for his wife in his underwear. As he pulled a shirt over his body he walked through the quiet house to the refrigerator where a note was fastened by a picture magnet of the two of them.

"My strong fortress." it wrote in refrence to the night before with letters much larger than normal to allow easier reading for Elliot.

"Went to run errands, I'll be back in time for lunch. I love you more than you know." 'L'

With his wife gone Elliot remembered his vow to himself to get her back for her remark at the doctor's office. "CrackerJack. Come on boys, outside." He held the door opened as the now much larger beagles padded their way onto the grass. Elliot was on a mission today.

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Olivia sat underneath the very tree in which they had had their first day. The memory of that time was so vivid. Laying beside one another on a blanket as they talked to one another about nothing. They'd been partners for so long and Elliot had been asking her on a date for what seemed like and eternity. She had been afraid to pursue a relationship with him. Afraid that it was all some cruel cosmic trick that God was trying to pull on her. Why would someone love me? She asked herself.

When Elliot pulled away from her she felt a feeling that she'd never felt before. She felt...afraid. And when he'd told her to get an annulment, her heart shattered as she thought that the cruel cosmic trick had just come to light. Her reaction to Elliot, her forcefullness inspite of his weakness shook her at her core. She was so terrified of loosing Elliot that she just realized he was the only person she'd fought for, the only person she told that she loved, the only person she shared her bed and her body with.

Olivia whispered softly. "God, if you do exist and you don't hate me like I've thought for all these years, show me what to do in spite of my fear." She paused and then hesitantly added "Oh and Amen."

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Olivia parked her car infront of the sandwhich shop. She had already called the order in when she'd left the tree. As Olivia paid for the food she still wondered about the baby. About the furture. Should she terminate and never tell Elliot anything. As she exited the sandwhich shop that seemd to be her only logical choice. Elliot would never have to know the hurt of having lost a child that his wife couldn't bare to have. With her mind made up she opened the driver side door just as a sign caught her attention. She placed the sandwhiches in her Mustang and reactivated the alarm as she went into the store two business down from the sandwhich shop.

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"Elliot-" Olivia called out to her husband.

"Elliot, I got chow...and pretzels." She laughed to herself as she unzipped her boots and placed them in the closet. She hated the sound of the boots against the hardwood floors. Olivia walked to the kitchen. "It's noon, he's sure to be in the kitchen looking for food." she mumbled as she turned the corner into the kitchen there was no Elliot, but there was evidence of Elliot. The dinning room table complete with paper plates causing a smile over her lips.

Olivia opened the single piece of paper that was on the table. "Parlay in the captains quarters?" 'G.P."

Olivia had to take her time to decipher his note. "What the heck is Parlay?" She mumbled. "Where have I heard that before?" "GP?" She thought to heself. "That better not stand for...oh no." She smiled, blushing. "Gentelman Pirate." You've got to be kidding me. She laughed to herself placing the sandwhiches down and walking to the bedroom with a small bag in her hand.

Olivia opened the door carefully searching the room with her eyes. "If he's dressed like a pirate I am gonna kill him." She thought still holding the small yellow bag in her grasp. Elliot was not in the bed as she walked to the center of the room placing the bag on the bed. She was growing a little nervous until she felt his strong arms behind her.

She smiled at his embrace and went along with his game. "What's this all about captain?"

"Pay back." Elliot smiled nipping at her earlob from behind.

"For what?" She pulled his arms around her closer.

"Calling me a gentelman pirate." He spun her body to face him. " I am no pirate." He placed his hand around her neck and brought her lips to his, kissing her softly."

Olivia pushed away, seperating the kiss. " I need to talk to you." Her voice was serious.

Elliot leaned in kissing her again. "Can it wait Liv? We haven't been with eachother since my accident. I need you." His voice sent a chill down her spine.

"Elliot, I've made a decision and I need you to support me in it." Her voice was tense. Her mind was racing. "What are you doing Olivia? Are you nuts?" Her mind was doubting her, tormenting her.

"Sit down Elliot, I have to tell you this before I chicken out." She pushed him gently to the edge of the bed and knelt before him as she had done so many times before when she needed to be serious with him.

"I don't know how to tell you this." Her eyes were welling up.

"What's wrong Olivia? My vision isn't perfect but I can see your tears." He told her reaching out to wipe her face with his thumb.

"I've never done this before...here." She said handing him the small yellow bag.

Elliot furrowed his brows. "What gift could make a woman cry?" he asked himself as he removed the tissue paper from the item.

" A diaper?" Elliot was confused. "I don't understand." Elliot looked at her. "What do I need a pamper for I thought I would at least use a pull-up."

Olivia took a deep breath. "For a detective you can be clueless Stabler." She took hold of his hand and guided it to her abdomen feeling his strong fingers embrace her. "Maybe this will help you...Daddy."


	63. Chapter 63 Well, say something

CHAPTER 63

"Well, say something." Olivia whispered as Elliot stared at the diaper. "Elliot? Please talk to me." Olivia reached grabing the hand that was still on her abdomen. "Are you upset? Are you happy? Say something."

Elliot looked Olivia in the eye and smiled through watery eyes. "So, that explains the pretzels and the vomit in my lap?" He stood helping his wife to her feet. "This..." he said placing his hand back on her stomach. "Is amazing. We're gonna be parents Liv." He smiled whispering the words as he kissed Olivia softly on the mouth.

"Yeah...parents." Olivia said almost unaudible. Still shocked unable to look at Elliot. Olivia's eyes told her secret in no time.

"Olivia?" Elliot held the back of her neck and kissed her forehead softly. "It's okay to be afraid Liv."

Olivia broke down crying on his shoulder "I am so scared Elliot." She clung to his body burrowing her face into his chest. "I am so ashamed." She sobbed.

"Ashamed?" Elliot pulled her from his chest so he could look into her face. "You have nothing to be ashamed for do you understand me?" His voice was firm yet loving.

"Elliot..." Olivia could barely bring herself to tell him her thoughts. "I had...um." She wiped her eyes. " I...was going to abort the baby and not tell you. I had my mind up today when I picked up lunch." She shook her head solemly.

Elliot tiped her chin up forcing her to look at him. She was shocked to see him smiling at her. "Olivia." Her name whispered from his mouth. "I know you...and you would have never gone through with it. I have no doubts that you would have stopped yourself."

"How could you be smiling Elliot? I just told you I was going to kill our baby." She sobbed hanging her head in shame.

"When we're scared, we do crazy stuff, but that doesn't change who we are at the core, your love – no matter how much you try to hide it behind walls, would have never allowed you to do it. That's why I can smile, because I have the utmost trust in you."

"But - " She tried to protest furrowing her eyebrows.

"Olivia, give yourself some grace sweetheart, it's okay to be scared, it's okay to think outside of our character, it's okay to be human." He brought her to his chest and held her tight.

After several minutes Elliot asked her, "Liv, what made you change your mind?" She pulled away gently, looking at her husband.

"It sounds stupid, but..." She paused wiping the moisture from under her eyes. " I picked up the sandwhiches and there was this sign that caught my eye." She ran her hands through her hair taking a deep breath. "It had a picture of this baby with these huge blue eyes, he was on his belly and next to it the sign said, "My mommy is a hero: She said no to abortion." Olivia cried anguished tears as Elliot reached for her again. "I am so sorry Elliot, I am so sorry."

"Liv – you didn't do anything, I forgive you, It's okay to be afraid...I am afraid." He admitted to her.

"What? Why would you be? You'll make a great father." She said shocked to hear him say he feared the very thing he wanted most.

"I'll also make mistakes. I'll also be responsible for a little life that I may not always be able to protect." He smiled. "But I have you to be with me and you have me, fear has nothing on that." He kissed her on her lips.

"Do you think I'll make it as a mother?" She asked actually entertaining the thought of being one.

"I think that your the most amazing woman I know and I know that your gonna give it all you got. Which means...your gonna be a fantastic mom...who will occasionaly make a mistake, who will feel overwhelmed and who will wonder what in the world she got herself into." Elliot caressed her face gently, "But who will always love her child and do what's best for her family."

Olivia took a deep breath and bit her lip and just as if he could hear her private thoughts he held her face close to his and spoke gently. "Your not your brother Olivia and your certainly not your father."

Perhaps, it was the whole overwhelming situation that finally setteled in on Olivia's heart but there was something about Elliot's last sentence that Olivia had desperatly needed to hear. As if someone had taken a sledge hammer and knocked down a wall that surrounded her heart she felt a freedom from the secret shame of thinking she had a poisonous blood. Freedom from the shame of thinking she would harm her own child. Elliot was right. She was not her father nor her brother. She was Olivia Stabler, wife and soon to be mother.

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"So, Liv, how far along are we anyway?" Elliot asked as he bit into his sandwhich.

Olivia smiled. "Six weeks." She unwrapped her food and held it to her face and was suddenly repulsed. "Uhhh, that smells flat out nasty." She tossed it back into it's wrapping and pushed it away.

"What? That's your favorite sandwhich in the world." Elliot was shocked. In the eight years he'd known her she had never passed up a roast beef sandwhich.

"Yeah well, that roast smells like it's been dead for a month." She shrunk her nose and eyeballed Elliot's. "Yours smells good though." She smiled reaching for his sandwhich.

"You hate pastrami." Elliot spoke confused.

"Elliot – don't aske me to be logical." She said sliding her roast beef to him. "I am a pregnant woman. All I know is I am starving and that didn't smell good and this one did." She took a bite and teased Elliot. "Wow your sandwhich is great."

"Oh yeah?" He said bitting into her's. "Yours is even better." He laughed. "So when do we get to say something?" He leaned into her.

"Um...well I kind of like having it as our secret for now, is that okay?" She asked.

"Absolutley, but you better just get use to me always touching you...you make a sexy pregnant woman." He stood reaching for her hand.

"Oh really? Why is that?" She entertained his thoughts.

"Just look at you, your skin is radiant, your face is bursting, I could make love to you over and over again." He smiled bringing her closer to him so he could kiss her neck softly. Olivia smiled wrapping her arms around her husband's neck.

"Did you mean what you said earlier?" She asked in a whisper.

"About the payback? Yep." He responded placing his hands on her hips reaching for her jean buckle.

"No, about needing me." She pushed him slowly away and smiled. "Do you _need_ me?" The thought of Elliot actually _needing_ Olivia was arousing in and of itself. No one had ever needed her, in fact she felt as though she always needed him.

"More than my own breath." He whispered.

"I see." She took his hand leading him into the bedroom.

"Hey Liv." Elliot spoke as she led him. "I downloaded a song I want you to hear." He smiled before continuing. "I heard this song on the radio this morning, and I wanted you to hear it so I pulled it off the net and burned it." He said placing it in the disc tray of the stereo system of the room. She smiled noticing the ruffled comforter on the bed.

"I guess it was a good thing you didnt' make that bed huh?" She laughed.

"I told you there was a reason for my madness." He smiled as the music began to play. He pulled her close to her. " I am sorry for the way I acted the last few weeks." He whispered.

"Elliot we talked about it, I understand." She reassured him.

"I know." he said gently swaying to the music with his wife in his arms. "I also know you were hurting, and I am sorry I was selfish." He kissed her cheek. "I am sorry I was so scared that I didn't know how to be there for you." He looked intently in her eyes. "Elliot, it's okay to be afraid." She smiled using his own words as a reminder. _Don't be afraid of feeling this way  
I'm gonna make you understand  
It's not about you, 'cause I am the fool  
Building castles in the sand_

As the music played gently in the background Elliot hugged his wife ensuring her that all her fears were safe with him. She smiled looking up into his eyes and kissed him on his lips. Being physically apart from one another while she healed and then while he healed had driven them both insane.

Olivia kissed him softly seperating his mouth with her tongue. Exploring the very depths of his mouth she melted into his arms, knowing that the safety of her own heart would never be in jeopardy as long as she had him.

_  
If I act crazy, just don't care  
It doesn't mean I don't want you near  
This is the story about me and you_

Only weeks ago Elliot had pushed her away devestating her, this time he refused to let her go. He used the tip of his tongue to walk along the contours of her neck, hearing the gentle moans of pleasure from his wife spurged him on. Elliot grabbed at the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head and discarding it to the floor.

"I missed your body." He whispered to her. As he kissed her gently on the sensitive skin of her breast. Olivia arched her head back feeling the warmth of his lips, the sensation of his breath against her.

"I missed your kiss Elliot." She gasped feeling him gently biting the skin that seperated her breast.

_**And it's called faith  
Right beside you is where I'll stay  
Oh, faith  
Just take me as I am  
So please, have faith**_

Olivia removed his white t-shirt from about his body letting it free fall to the ground. She placed her fingertips gently over the contours of his body. "I've wanted you for a long time Elliot. I thought you didn't want me." She kissed his chest gently licking and sucking his nipple. As she continued to make the area more tender he let out a grimaced moan.

"I was stupid." he ran his fingers through her hair. "Who wouldn't want you Olivia?" He asked her as he unclasped her bra and relinquished the straps from her shoulders. _So many times in so many ways  
I didn't know just where to go  
You gave me a sign and opened my eyes  
That's the reason why I know_ "Being with you makes me the luckiest man on the face of the earth." He cupped her breast, massaging her nipples pleasuring her with the same erotic pleasure she'd given him. The warmth of his tongue grazing her breast leaving a cool path in it's wake electified Olivia causing her to gasp as he took her nipple into her mouth. Elliot provided her with hard constant suction causing her back to arch to the ceiling encouraging him to move forward with his desires. _  
_

_  
That you are different, you're still here  
I guess you figured me out right there  
Now I believe that we can make it through_ _  
_"I don't know what I would do without you Elliot." She managed to say struggling for air. She reached for his head in hopes of embracing it as he had his way with her but he proved elusive as he moved further taking care to gently remove her jeans from her body. Elliot softly ran his hands caressing her thighs with the softess touch he could manage. He felt her skin react with his touch as she closed her eyes to savor her own vulnerability and trust in him. _**And it's called faith  
Right beside you is where I'll stay  
Oh, faith  
Just take me as I am  
So please, have faith**_

Elliot tugged gently on his wifes panties removing them in a single motion. He held her legs infront of him staring at her body. It's curves, it's peaks, it's scars and ability to hold life within it. As he gave an intimate examination of her body he could see her grow nervous at his lack of movement.

"Elliot?" She whispered.

"Shhh." He replied making his way across her body, reading her as if she were a sacred text. "I was afraid I'd never be able to see you again." He said feeling himself tighten in his own clothing. He stood releasing himself from the captivity of his pants and allowing him to rejoin Olivia with only his boxers. She could feel his strength against her pleading to be inside of her. Elliot adjusted his body to being further down between her thighs. He flickered his tongue franticaly over her milky abyss, smiling as he slid across her swollen cliterous. He bit at it playfulling causing her body to jerk. He held her as he massaged the bittin area with his tongue. "El...Elliot." She moaned his name into existance suddenly sitting up and taking his face into her hands she kissed the softness of his lips recognizing the presence of her own scent. **_Have faith_ ** Olivia shifted her body weight quickly forcing Elliot on his back splaying his arms over his head in submission. Olivia had turned the tables. "I dream't about having my way with you Elliot." She whispered scratching her fingernails over his body making a trail down to his boxers as he contracted in pleasant pain. Olivia pulled his boxers off slowly sending Elliot into orbit. "If you keep torturing me were gonna be in trouble." He teased her. Olivia threw his boxers into some undisclosed location and grinded her body against his, feeling him pulsate against her. Olivia slithered down the bed taking him into her mouth, this time with skillful ease. _  
_

_  
So don't be afraid of feeling this way  
Just hear me out, stay_ Olivia enveloped him in his enterty before circling his head with her tongue. She wanted to return every favor he had given her since they'd been married. She wanted him to know every pleasure she had known. She took hold of his sac and playfully rubbed him soft at first and then with increasing pressure. Until she could hear Elliot moan her name. __

And that's called faith  
Right beside you is where I'll stay  
It's not to late  
Just take me as I am  
So please, have faith  
In me  


Elliot grabbed for his wife and passionatley pulled her to the top of the bed covering her body with his own. Rubbed her lips with his finger and slowly seperated them allowing her to suck his finger in mockery of what just happened. She playfully bit at him and he trailed his wet fingers down her body touching drenched hair he inserted his fingers inside of her and took pleasure in watching her arch herself as her body struggled to accept his entry. He moved his fingers within her in a 'come hither' motion as Olivia gaspped in pleasure. Her audible moans encouraging Elliot to dive into her. _  
Oh yeah  
_

"Turn over." Elliot whispered softly to her withdrawing his fingers from her valley. Olivia looked concerned at first not exactly sure she was up for the game plan but as he moved closer grinding himself against her leg, her body sucombed to him as she lay on her chest her back exposed to her lover. He rubbed his hands gently over her back causing friction creating heat. He soothed her heat with his kisses. Elliot covered her body with his own feeling her buttocks against his shaft. He placed his hands around her waist and rolled to his side bringing her to her's with her back still against his chest. Elliot ran his hands down her ribs, over her hips picking her leg up at her thigh, he guided himself into her front from behind. The presence of his mass forcing her to reach behind her for his face as she moaned in acceptance of his body. "I love feeling you inside me Elliot." She whispered barely able to breath. "I love feeling your walls around me." He whispered back into her ear. Thrusting gently inside of her. He massaged her breast in a counter rhythm to his thrusts allowing her body no break between pleasures. With his free hand he tapped her swollen pleasure relentlessly. Massaging, thrusting and tapping he continued causing her sweet agony. 

"Faster." she spoke for the first time ever describing a preference. She was becoming more trusting, more comfortable with her body, with her own moans. He moved faster breathing harder against her as her body slid over him. "Harder." She spoke, discovering it only took a whim to get him to do what she wanted. He ramed himself into her as she let out a moan. Harder and faster he moved within his wife drawing the desires from her lips. Until she reached behind for him as her body contacted in agonizing orgasim, he continued moving enjoying the sounds of his wife until his own body swelled within her as he moaned holding her tightly as he orgasimed.

Elliot did not move from his wife as he panted, he felt her heart racing, saw her chest rise and fall as he felt him self dicrease and slip out from her warmth. He repositioned himself next to her allowing her to face him.

_**Just take me as I am  
So please, have faith**_

Olivia smiled. "Congratulations Dad."

Elliot kissed her softly, "Right back at ya Mom."

A/N DONT OWN THE SONG IT IS CELINE DION'S FAITH FROM THE ONE HEART ALBUM. Hope you guys like the story, craziness is about to ensue. LOL.

_  
_


	64. Chapter 64 How does he know?

CHAPTER 64

Elliot ignited the bar-b-que as Olivia lay sleeping in the bedroom exaughsted from their latest encounter. 'Team CrackerJack' trotted around the backyard occassionally stopping at the grill in hopes that Elliot would drop them a morsel as he prepared the steaks for dinner. Elliot could not help but to smile as he thought about his future with Olivia. Would the baby be a boy or a girl?

As he placed the marinated meat onto the grill hearing the deep hiss of the searing meat he turned his face to the two beagels that awaited him. "Guess what boys? I am gonna be a daddy." He talked to them as if were expecting a response. "Well, isn't that exciting? Can I at least get a wag of the tail? Geez rough crowd." He shook his head returning to the meat.

"Your such a goofball Elliot." Olivia laughed approaching him from behind as she put her arms around his waist hugging him.

"Ah, but you love this goofball, admit it." He smiled turning to her. Olivia's hair was wet combed neatly curving around her ears. Her smile was extravagant and sneaky, Elliot loved to just look at her.

"Yeah well, it can be debated." She laughed grabbing a drink of his bottled water.

"Hey, I got a question." He looked at the puppies then to Olivia. "Why do you call them 'Team CrackerJack?' he smiled. "It's kind of odd don't you think?"

"Ha!" Olivia laughed crouching to pet the beagels who were still patiently awaiting a slip up from Elliot that would provide them with a snack. "When you consider how these little terrors run full blast through the house, it's like watching a nascar race on paws."

Elliot laughed bringing his wife back to his face. "You know, if we have twins, you can't name them JohnDeere right." He leaned in close to her.

"Oh, shucks." She said smiling into his kiss. As Elliot slid his hand into her back pocket caressing her. "I hope your not pick pocketing detective." She smiled suggestively.

"No, just checking out the merchandise." He withdrew his had and led her to the table on the porch deck. She took her seat with a fading smile as Elliot sat across from her.

"Something on your mind Liv?" He asked her pushing a bowl of pretzels to her. She picked through them eventually taking one and biting it in half before she spoke.

"Cragen called when I got out of the shower." Her voice was low and steady.

Elliot leaned forward. "What did he say?"

"Well since we got our perps I have to return to work tomorrow...without you until you heal." She bit her lip indicating there was more.

"And?" He answered her body language.

"The trial for my father starts on Monday, but apparently Oliver has some hot shot attorney who's gonna fight...it's gonna take eight to nine months before it goes through the courts." She squeezed the bottle of water hearing it's sides crack in agony.

"Liv, you have a whole new future ahead of you, we'll worry about your dad on Monday and your brother when we cross that bridge." He held out his hand taking hers and interlacing her fingers with his. "Right now, lets focus on eachother and little Elliot." He smiled.

"Little Elliot?" She raised her brows. "Are you kidding? What if the baby is a girl?"

Elliot furrowed his brows. "Then she wont date until she's thirty...there setteled." He laughed as she shook her head in disbelief.

"So, who ya working with when you go back?" He asked her taking her hand and pulling her gently from her seat.

"Munch officially, but I have a feeling I am going to be doing paperwork until I get carpeltunnel." She spoke sarcastically understanding the demands of the bullpen but still allowing her husband to caress her as they danced to silence.

"Hey you got something in the mail today, a card forwarded here from your old address." Elliot suddenly remembered. "I put it on the counter inside if you want to go look at it while I turn the meat."

"A card?" She furrowed her lips in wonderment as she turned and disappeared into the house to retrieve it.

Elliot turned the meat as he squinted his eyes in the smoke. "The doctor would probably have a heart attack if he saw me doi-" Elliot did not finish his audible thought, an ear curddling scream from Olivia pierced his ears.

"ELLIOT! GET IN HERE!" Her voice yelled for him as he quickly slammed the grill closed turning it off and letting the tongs fall to the ground as the beagles fought over the licking rights. Elliot ran opening the door forcefully to see Olivia shaking as she read the card.

"What the heck is this?" She gasped looking at him.

"What? Let me see." He said worried as he took it from her grasp. Reading the cover. "Congratulations on your baby?" He read the card wondering who sent it. Elliot opened it and read it in a whispered tone. " Hey, sis: Congrats on your baby. Keep your eye on her, there are a lot of sickos looking for pretty children. Love Oliver."

Olivia's body shook as she sunk into Elliot's chest. "How does he know I am pregnant Elliot?"


	65. Chapter 65 BINGO

CHAPTER 65

"Elliot – he knows I am pregnant, how does he know that I am pregnant." Olivia spoke quickly as she paced the kitchen floor dragging her hands through her hair. "When is this lunatic going to just leave me alone!" She yelled into the atmosphere grabbing the chair to lean over it.

"Olivia." Elliot spoke softly taking her into his arm. "You haven't eaten all day, I want you to go and eat something. I'll make a few calls." Elliot led her out to the table allowing her to sit and at least try to eat something.

Elliot grabbed the phone cursing under his breath. He waited impatiently listening to the phone ring as he watched Olivia through the French doors. Her legs bounced nervously as she hung her head in her hand. Her shoulders heaved. He was enraged knowing she was crying. Finally an answer on the other end.

"Hey Cap, it's Elliot, we have a problem."

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"What do you mean there isn't anything here?" Elliot asked the detection team bewildered. "Then how is he still getting information?" He paced slowly thinking as he rubbed his head.

"Elliot, here's the forensic information the Captain said you wanted." Munch handed Elliot a file.

"We have to be overlooking something." Olivia drummed her fingers on the counter top. "Something simple, let me see the file." She wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans and reached for it as Elliot relinquished it.

"If anything else, at least you know your not under surveillance again." Fin tried to encourage Olivia who flipped back and forth between two sheets in the file. Her eyes furrowed and her eyes flickered as she scanned the files.

"Um, yeah, actually that is comforting considering I've been under surveillance for years." She pressed her lips together and arched her eyebrows in a 'what are ya gonna do' attitude. It was a facade.

"Hey guys." Olivia placed the file back on the counter. "I'll see you at work tomorrow, there isn't much more that can be done here." She uncharacteristically walked Fin and Munch to the door.

Elliot observed her movements, her behavior questioningly. Olivia loved company and it was normally Elliot who rushed them out. Something wasn't right and the only way he was going to find out was to get Olivia alone.

"Alright guys!" Elliot gathered the detection team. "Hey thanks for your time again, I am sure you have a lot of work to do." He encouraged the teams exit. Once the house was cleared Elliot locked the door behind him.

Returning to the kitchen Elliot expected to find Olivia but she was absent. Standing in the kitchen alone Elliot folded his arms and tried to decide what was happening. He retrieved two bottles of water from the refrigerator and a small bag of pretzels.

Opening the door to the Mini 1-6 Elliot observed Olivia sitting on the stool near the drafting desk. Her brows were furrowed, eyes narrowed as she flipped forward and back between different sheets. Her mouth was slightly opened with her bottom jaw slightly jutted forward. It was her body's unconscience way of reacting when she was in deep thought. Looking at her Elliot knew she was on something. He walked to her slowly placing the water next to her.

"You got something?" The sound of his voice causing her to jump.

"Huh? What...yeah I think so." She stood walking with the file in her hand.

"Elliot, we never even looked at this file because we caught them both, it was open and close right?" She asked approaching him.

"Yeah, I thought so." Elliot said bringing the water bottle to his lips.

"Wrong! Look." She passed the file to him. He held it withing inches from his face struggling with the size of the font. His eyesight still blurring.

"Elliot- here I'll explain it." She took it back from him rather than seeing him struggle to read it.

"I was looking at the equipment and it is all top of the line equipment sold in various surveillance and private investigation stores." She placed the file on the desk, she had a knack for memorizing file information quickly. "You following me?" She asked.

"You getting anywhere." He asked sarcastically, chasing his remark with a smile.

"Everyones a comedian." She mumbled. "Look, when we were in uniform and we ordered equipment where did we do that?" She asked leading him into her theory.

"From the department." He furrowed his eyes.

"No – Elliot, when we ordered things like pepper spray and new batons, we got them through law enforcement magazines remember?" She picked the file up again.

"Oh, yeah but you had to have a law enforcement code to place the order." He reminded her.

"Bingo Ladies and gentleman." Olivia smiled in victory. "Check it out." She stood at Elliot's side and pointed to information in the file as she spoke. "If this was ordered through a civilian firm the serial number would begin with C.I. For civilian issue." Elliot squinted looking hard at the paper.

"Well Olivia, I hate to burst your bubble but that serial number starts with S.P.I." He said turning from her.

"Exactly Elliot, that's my point, S.P.I stands for standard police issue so neither Victor nor Oliver could have ordered the surveillance equipment because neither of them had anything to do with law enforcement." She folded her arms still carrying the file.

"Liv – I am sorry, I don't get what your trying to say." He shook his head. Usually they were always on the same wavelength but the day was long and Elliot was growing tired.

"Well, initially I thought they could have pulled it off the black market but then I came across the paperwork for the sale.

"I thought it was through a catalog." Elliot questioned her theory again,

"It is Elliot, from L/E Inc." She read from the file.

"That's here in New York." He thought remembering the place he has his weapon serviced.

"Yep. Which means you can place the order through the catalogs and specify in store pick up." She held a piece of paper close to Elliot so he could take it in. "Which means you still have to supply the code." She smiled. "And if you use the code NYPD requires a cop to sign the receipt and place their badge number as well."

"So, what exactly are you thinking?" Elliot said still in the fog.

"Well, I think there's a third person and if you think about it, they're both in Rikers how would they know I am pregnant. And look at this card Elliot, it doesn't match the handwritings on the signed confessions." She pointed in direction of the drafting desk.

"Olivia – what are you saying?" Elliot asked finally knowing full well what she was saying.

"Elliot, were looking for a third person that is still supplying information about me." She arched her eyebrows.

"So why didn't you let Munch and Fin in on that or the surveillance team they may have been able to help us? Why'd you kick em out.

She pressed her lips and held the file in front of her. "Because, according to this...were looking for a cop."


	66. Chapter 66 Jolly Green Giant

CHAPTER 66

Olivia and Fin stood outside of L/E Inc. They had arrived a little earlier than planned and were patiently arriving the owner.

"So Liv, you like anyone for this?" Fin asked sipping from a Styrofoam cup.

"It's hard to say, I have no grudges against cops." Olivia said sticking her hands in her pocket and leaning against the railing.

"Yeah but it's not about _your_ grudges, it's about _their_ grudges." Fin informed her.

Olivia shook her head in agreement and bit her lip. She hated waiting especially during a case.

"Hey Liv, I know you've had a lot thrown at you." Fin spoke slowly. "Are you happy?" He asked her.

Olivia could not contain the smile that crept over her lips. "I never thought I could be happy." She blushed uncontrollably.

"You really love that crack pot huh?" Fin smiled.

"Yeah, yeah I do." she let out a small laugh before becoming serious again. "Fin, I got ten that says that's him." She said motioning her head to a tall man in a suit and tie with a briefcase in hand.

"Okay." Fin smiled, always a betting man. Both watched the man intently as he walked to the door of L/E Inc. The tall man inserted the key into the lock and opened the rolling door that served as a security system. Olivia smiled to herself extending her palm to Fin.

"Pay up." She smiled. "You've met your match."

Fin reached into his jacket pocket. Pulling out a crisp ten dollar bill and reluctantly put it in her hand.

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"Excuse me sir are you the owner?" Olivia asked approaching the counter and at the same time keeping a healthy distance.

"Yeah, who wants to know?" The tall man replied not looking up from his work.

Olivia displayed her badge. "Detectives Benson and Tutuola." She pointed to Fin. "We'd like to ask you a few questions." She returned her badge to her pocket.

"Hey," The man's voice was defensive. "I run a legit business all of my paperwork is-"

"Shut up." Fin spoke curt. "She said she has questions...let her askem' first." Fin spoke slightly irritated. He hated it when people jumped the gun and got all defensive.

"What's you name sir?" Olivia asked with much more patience than Fin would ever possess.

"Jolly Green Giant." The tall man replied sarcastically as he folded his arms and leaned against the back counter.

"Funny..." Fin stepped closer. "you don't look green – but maybe that will change when I shove my foot up your - " Olivia interjected before Fin crossed the line.

"Sir, we don't care about your business practices – we just need you to cooberate the information on this sales slip." Olivia placed the slip on the counter still holding it at the top. 'The Jolly Green Giant' smirked as he turned around to a group of binders. Pulling a red three inch binder from the shelf he turned to face the detectives as he opened it.

"Ready to write this down? He asked mischievously.

"Shoot." Olivia spoke, poised to write.

The giant began reciting letters as Olivia wrote them down. "U...O...Y...W...E...R...C...S...Got that?" He asked bemused.

Olivia furrowed her eyes at the seemingly non-sequeter letter. "Yeeeaaah?" She responded questiononly.

"Now reverse it." He folded his arms again and smiled. Olivia reversed the letters in her mind, a flicker of anger danced in her eyes just as Fin reached for the man's tie pulling him forcefully down to the counter, his wind being forced out of him as his chest crashed against the counter with an "Umph."

"Your not the brightest candle on the cake." Fin spoke in his ear softly while still pulling on the tie.

"You can't do this..." The man protested just as he felt Olivia pulling on his belt to bring him further over the counter.

"Little more Fin." She spoke matter of factly as if nothing were wrong. "Got it." She spoke again in victory as she retrieved the man's wallet form his back pocket. She opened it and removed the license.

"Ah man." Olivia looked at the licenses. "Your not the Jolly Green Giant." She said in a mockery of disappointment as she read the name. "Your just little old Frank Reynoso." She bent forward looking at him face to face. Her voice now calm and serious. "Well Mr. Reynoso." she smirked. "Reverse this...E...M...E...T...I...B." She straightened herself up as Fin released him in a shove.

Olivia tossed the wallet back to the counter as the unrestrained license skidded across the counter top and onto the floor. "I hope you'll be in a more cooperative mood tomorrow Mr. Reynoso."

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"Casey's working on your warrant right now." Cragen's voice was friendly as he offered Olivia a seat and closed the door. "Fin briefed me on the situation with Reynoso – you got it?" He asked leaning on his desk.

"Yeah – I think we'll find what were looking for." She stuck a piece of gum in her mouth hoping it would settle her nauseated stomach.

"You look – sick." Cragen was showing his fatherly side.

Olivia smiled standing up, "Thanks Cap – you sure have a way with the ladies. "She retreated to the door.

"Olivia – how's Elliot?" He asked before she left.

She turned to face Cragen, her face was beaming at the very mention of his name. "Back at work tomorrow."

"You ready for the trial on Monday?" Cragen's face was sympathetic. Olivia took a deep breath.

"I don't know."   
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"So- Mr. Stabler." Olivia said kissing him softly on the mouth. "Want to serve a warrant with me tomorrow?"

"Mmmm..." Elliot traveled her neck softly. "First day back and I get to serve a warrant with the misses?" He ran his knuckles softly over her cheek. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" Smiling develishily.

Olivia broke his embrace and turned to the refrigerator. While she prepared dinner she caught Elliot up on the events of the day and was particularly enchanted to hear Elliot's laughter when she'd told him about the Jolly Green Giant.

As the two sat outside on the deck to eat, "Team CrackerJack", patiently stalked Olivia waiting for falling crumbs. "Did you feed them?" She asked watching their eyes dart back and forth between her and Elliot.

"Please," Elliot said sarcastically. "Those puppies are like you – full of energy and always hungry." He smiled at the fake hurt on Olivia's face.

"How are your eyes Elliot?" She asked before taking a bite of lasagna.

"I can see you in all your beauty – I'd say their great!" He took a drink of his water enjoying her blushing face.

"Your a goof." She tried to protect herself.

"And your gorgeous." He laughed. Pushing her' blush button' frantically.

"You ready for Monday's trial Elliot?" Olivia asked seriously, dabbing her lips with a cloth napkin.

Elliot leaned back and twitched his lips to one side. "I don't know."

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"Mr. Reynoso – how ya doing today?" Olivia asked showing her badge then pointing to Elliot. "This is my partner Detective Stabler." He brandished his badge and they both returned them to their pockets simultaneously. "And this, my good friend, is your warrant." Olivia smiled slidding the blue brief across the counter.

Reynoso picked it up without opening it and spoke "Where's the sales slip?" His voice was friendly in contrast to the day before.

"Wow – what a change of heart." Olivia smiled at Elliot who was leaning against the counter as she slid the sales slip to Reynoso.

"Detectives, it's the principal of the matter." He said slightly irritated. "Give me a couple of minutes." He spoke low as he disappeared through an 'employees only entrance'.

"Hey check this out." Elliot smiled retrieving an item from his pocket while they waited for Reynoso to return.

"Elliot!" Olivia gasped holding in her laughter, "Don't you dare." She cautioned.

"What? You dare me?" He smiled. "So be it."

Before Olivia could caution Elliot again Reynoso returned. "Here you go." He said resigned as he handed the sales slip to Elliot.

Elliot smiled mischievously as he handed him the item from his pocket, a can of Jolly Green Giant green beans. "Just a little something to remember us by." He smiled walking out the door with his partner.

"Alright Elliot, who is it, who bought the equipment?" Olivia asked as Elliot scanned the sheet. His face turning pale.

"Elliot? Who is it?" Olivia asked more cautioned as to the answer.

"Olivia." Elliot said confused. "According to this... _you_ bought it."


	67. Chapter 67 Thought of any names?

CHAPTER 67

"What do you mean _I_ bought them?" Olivia asked as she took the paper from Elliot. "I would remember buying them don't you think?" She flipped the page and then felt the vomit rise in her throat. Olivia held the paperwork out for Elliot to grab as she heaved over a near buy trash can.

"Olivia." Elliot said stroking her back. "I know you didn't buy it. Were gonna find out what's going on." He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and used a bottle of water to help her clean up.

"Let me see that again." She held her hand out to Elliot who reluctantly placed the paper back in her hand. Olivia began to walk aimlessly down the sidewalk with Elliot at her side. She never looked up from her study material but stopped only when Elliot pulled her back from crossing the street blind. "This is my badge number but this isn't my signature." She mumbled to Elliot.

"Does it look familiar to you?" He asked her hoping it may have.

"Actually yes, but I can't place it." She shook her head stopping and then looking around. "I am starving." She spoke unconsciously rubbing her abdomen. It was a reaction she had taken too since finding out that she was pregnant. Elliot suspected that she was starting to become more comfortable with the idea of being pregnant.

"Well, your favorite restaurant is around the corner." Elliot smiled. "But the way your appetite has changed we should probably go somewhere you don't like."

"Good idea." She chuckled then became serious.

"What are you thinking about Olivia?" Elliot asked stroking her shoulders.

"My name is being dragged through the mud." She whispered.

Elliot took a deep breath and led her two blocks south to a small hamburger joint that she detested. In her current state Elliot was sure she would love it.

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Olivia donned her favorite A shirt and 'boy shorts' after her shower. As she walked out of the restroom she found Elliot sitting on the side of the bed in his boxers, his head hung low, his back tense, eyes tightly closed. Olivia finished drying her hair and let the towel fall to the ground.

Walking over to the bed she was aware of Elliot's defeated posture.

"Elliot?" She spoke softly not wanting to startle him as she climbed onto the bed crawling across the mattress to him, his back facing her. "Do you want to talk?" She embraced him from behind kissing his cheek. Elliot took hold of her hand and gently moved in further down from his shoulders to his chest, kissing it as it passed his jaw line.

"I love you Olivia." He spoke with a breaking voice. " I just feel like..." He exhaled deeply and clenched his jaw trying to keep his composure.

"Like what?" She whispered holding him tighter. "Are you still feeling guilty about this Elliot?" She asked in a low voice near his ear. Elliot made no audible response but shook his head affirming her question. Olivia kissed him softly on his neck. "We talked about it Elliot, don't feel guilty, I love you for being with me."

Elliot tensed. Sensing he wanted to leave she held him tightly as he tried to stand to his feet. Olivia's eyes swelled with tears as she whispered to him. "No, stay."

Elliot closed his eyes and leaned back into her embrace. She kissed him softly as she felt the convulsions of his shoulders. Elliot turned to his wife, tears falling quietly. " I am sorry you have to go through all of this pain Olivia. It seems like there is never a rest for you and I started it all." He began to lower his head as she took it into her hands.

"Elliot, I am so greatfull that you cared enough to get this out in the open between us. I don't think we would be married if you hadn't taken the risk." Olivia rested her forehead against Elliot's and spoke softly. "I love that when I can't be strong anymore, you carry me. Yes, Elliot, I am in pain, I am not going to lie. But, with you here, I can make it..." Elliot stroked her wet hair placing the lose tendrils behind her ear as she smiled in the presence of her husband. "I am not afraid anymore." She whispered kissing him softly.

Olivia pulled the comforter away from the pillows. "Come to bed Elliot." she held her hand out allowing him to take hold of it and position himself next to Olivia. Elliot wrapped her arms around her and tightly pulled her into him resting his hand on her abdomen. "Have you thought of any names?" He asked her.

"No, but I want to give her a strong name." Olivia spoke holding her hand over Elliot's as she started to fall asleep.

"Her?" Elliot spoke drifting off into his own sleep.

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Olivia turned her head to and fro in her sleep, a thin layer of sweat beading over her skin. She mumbled in her sleep causing Elliot to waken. He watched her closely as he fist tightened and relaxed, she kicked as if she were running, pushed her hands down her body in protection and mumbled further. " Pretend what?...Stop it...leave."

Just as Elliot extended his arm to wake her Olivia sat up in a start. "Elliot!" She called for him in the night. "Elliot, it's him." She reached frantically for him.

Elliot took hold of her. "It's me Olivia, I am right here, talk to me." He stroked her sweat soaked hair.

"The paper?" She asked. "Where is it, get up Elliot." She pulled the covers back and quickly jumped out of the bed startling the already confused beagles. Olivia flipped on the light and retreated into the mini 1-6.

By the time Elliot caught up with her she was flipping between the paperwork from L/E Inc.

"What is it Liv?" He asked pulling a shirt over his bare chest.

She moved frantically about the desk pulling for one sheet and then reverting to another. "Elliot, I couldn't place it." She flipped until she found the line she was looking for. "You know I don't ever leave my badge or my gun unattended right" She asked him standing to her feet as she began to pace.

"Yeah, their either always on you or stowed safely, your great about that...but what does that have to do with anything Liv?" He asked.

"I started thinking of who would have had access to my place...who would I have trusted to be there, as you know there would be extream few." She bit her lip. "The signature is left handed Elliot, see the slant in the signature?" She asked holding the paper in front of him.

"Yeah, that's a lefty." He agreed.

"I've only known one lefty Elliot." She stopped to look at him.

"Who?" He asked.

Olivia took a deep breath, "I know I haven't talked to you about past dating experiences that I've had." She bit her lip. "Your the only person I've made love to Elliot." She placed her hand on his chest. "I thought, I could fall for this guy, we dated for sometime and I let him come back to my apartment." She shook her head solemnly. "His behavior solidified my desire to wait until I was married. He had a pretty active imagination and I ended up asking him to leave. I turned my back and I later found out he riffled through case files I had on my table." She ran her hand through her hair and leaned her head back. " I didn't put it together but the next morning my badge was gone. I thought I had misplaced but eventually I had to have Cragen re-issue it."

"That's when you had desk duty, you told me you lost it." He was aware of the time period.

"Yeah, I thought I lost it but I am almost positive he took it Elliot." She bowed her head. "I am sorry, I never told you about him."

"I don't care who you've been with in the past Olivia." He took her into an embrace, "I just care that your with me now." He kissed her softly on her forehead.

"I am positive he took it El." She reiterated her certainty.

"Who?" Elliot searched her face.

Olivia took a deep breath and exhaled looking away from Elliot as she spoke. "The reporter from the New York Post...Nick Ganzberg."


	68. Chapter 68 Ice Princess?

CHAPTER 68?

"What floor?" Elliot asked Olivia as they boarded the elevator at the New York Post.

"Third." She said flatly as she leaned her head against the elevator wall.

"Sick?" He questioned concerned.

"Oh yeah." She said smiling sheepishly. "Maybe I'll puke in his lap." Both laughed at eh plausibility of her actually doing it. When the doors opened they forced themselves to straighten up as they plastered on their best, "Were not married." faces.

Elliot approached the receptionist displaying a disarming smile. "Hi, I was wondering if I could see Nick Ganzner?"

"Your names please?" The older receptionist asked.

"Oh I am sorry," Elliot smiled sheepishly, "I am Matthew and this is my wife Sydney." He motioned for Olivia who was smiling following her partners lead although she almost had a heart attack when he introduced her as his wife. Perhaps her beaming smile was not simply following his lead.

"What is this in regards to?" The receptionist asked dialing the phone.

"Oh – we have a great lead on a story he's involved in." Elliot's smile turned from disarming to sly. As the receptionist spoke on the phone Elliot turned to Olivia. "Alright, you got the warrant?" He asked as they carefully reviewed the plan they'd discussed that morning. Olivia disappeared into the ladies room just as the receptionist stood to escort Elliot to Ganzner's office.

"Oh Miss, could you direct my wife when she comes out of the restroom?" Elliot smiled as he walked into the office as the receptionist agreed to his request. Elliot faced Ganzner suprised that a woman like Olivia would have fallen for such a sorry excuse for a male. He was pasty and weak looking. _Now that is one ugly schmuck._ Elliot thought to himself.

"So – Matthew – how can I help you?" Ganzner stood extending his hand for a handshake.

Elliot ignored his gesture and sat smiling a menacing grin. Ganzner lowered himself slowly back to his chair, "What do you want?" He asked rejected and now, suspicious.

"I have this fantastic story I think you'll be interested in." Elliot looked at his watch calculating Olivia's arrival in the ball park of ninety seconds. He continued, "It's a sort of conspiracy theory my wife and I put together." Elliot loved to say, 'My wife and I.'

"Conspiracy about what?" Ganzner arched his brow.

"One of New York Cities finest." Elliot pressed his lips together as he heard the door knob turn. _Right on time_. Elliot smiled starring at Ganzner.

Olivia walked in standing behind Elliot tapping the blue brief against her leg. "Hi Nicky." She approached his desk as Elliot stood to his feet.

"Olivia! What a surprise, I am in a meeting." He responded with confusion.

"Oh, I'm sorry, where are my manner's?" Olivia shifted her body towards Elliot who was brandishing his badge. "Nicky, I'd like you to meet my partner – Detective Stabler."

Nick Ganzner leaned back in his chair. Olivia had declared check mate as she tossed an arrest warrant on his desk. Elliot retrieved his handcuffs.

"Nicky – your gonna be an attractive catch in Rikers." Olivia smiled. "Stand up."

Ganzner remained seated stunned at Olivia's brazen attitude, until Elliot yanked him up by the shirt clasping a cuff on one arm then the other. Elliot read him his rights as he pushed him to walk to the door.

"What?...NYPD so strapped they can't give you maternity leave?" Ganzner smiled sarcastically and then yelped falling to his knees as Elliot tightened and twisted the cuffs. "Ahhh, too tight, too tight." He moaned.

"Oh, you know what? Benson's always been better at cuffing, I'll let her fix'em." Elliot stood to the side as Olivia grabbed the rings of both cuffs squeezing them tighter causing to call out in pain again.

Olivia looked innocently at Elliot as she patted Ganzner on the shoulder. "They look good to me." She said walking in front of the two, while she reached for her cellphone to notify the captain they would be bringing him in.

"Winch!" Ganzner hissed.

Elliot to 'accidentally' slammed Ganzner's face into the door frame. "Wow, I am sorry, my eyes are still a little off."

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"Alright." Casey was briefing Olivia and Elliot. "Fin and Munch didn't find the badge but thy found old credit card receipts with the same number, they are tracing the back purchases corresponding to that date...it's been awhile so your gonna have to get a confession."

"Alright let's get it." Olivia looked at Elliot who was in agreement.

Fin finally asked the question Cragen and Munch weren't willing to. "Liv, why are you trying so hard on a officer impersonation charge?"

Olivia remained silent taking in his question before speaking, "My reputation is all I have, there is no way this Sm eagle-look-a-like is gonna tarnish it."

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"Nicky – Nicky – Nicky," Olivia said sitting as she tapped her fingers on the interrogation table.

"Livie – Livie - Livie." He mocked her smiling.

"Nick – I got to ask you – have you seen my badge?" She pressed her lips tilting her head to one side.

"Is that all you brought me here for?" He narrowed his eyes at her. "So, do men still move away from you on the sofa Olivia?" He asked her smirking.

Olivia smiled, careful not to take the bait as he spoke again "I keep looking for your book to come out, but, I figured you were so busy getting yourself knocked up you wouldn't have a chance to write."

"Look Ganzner, as much as I'd like to sit here and relive old memories of your pathetic nature, I just need you to write your response to the accusations and sign it." She said slidding the legal pad and tossing a pen immediately after words.

Ganzner began writing with his left had then stopped to look up at Olivia. "So – Liv, what man was lucky enough to get the 'Ice Princess' pregnant anyway?"

Elliot shifted slightly in his chair split between wanting to pounce on Ganzner and feeling important enough to Olivia that she willingly gave herself to him. Elliot knew that as gorgeous as Olivia was she could have anyone she wanted, the fact that she chose Elliot to be the one person to see her for who she really was, humbled Elliot.

Olivia smiled, "Ice Princess? I see your still immature."

"And I see your a whore...no ring on your finer but theres a bun in the oven." He smiled. "This from the woman who wouldn't even let me slip my hand up her shirt." He laughed shaking his head as Elliot stood positioning himself behind Ganzner. Elliot pulled up sharply on his handcuffed arms causing him to gasp in pain.

"Apologize to Detective Benson." Elliot spoke casually.

"She can kiss my a – ahhhh." He cried as Elliot pulled harder.

"Apologize to Detective Benson." He reiterated.

"Alright! I am sorry Liv...ahhh." he moaned feeling the pressure of Elliot's touch.

"Did I tell you to apologize to Liv? No, It's Detective Benson – apologize." Elliot was growing impatient.

Clenching his jaw he spoke spitting on the table. "I am sorry Detective Benson." The words allowed Elliot to release him.

"You know what?" Olivia spoke like a saleswoman, "Apology accepted." She leaned back watching him wipe his chin on his shoulder. "Still drooling in my presence huh?" She smiled.

Ganzner took a breath to bark back but Elliot interjected. "How are your arms feeling _Nicky_?" He asked suggesting that if he were to speak inappropriately he would endure the consequences.

"Speaking of drooling – how'd you know I was pregnant Nicky?" She asked using a casual seq way. Elliot was impressed, she did have a brilliant mind in the interrogation room – he loved it.

Nick Ganzner rubbed his eyes moving his glasses up then allowing them to fall back to the bridge of this nose. "The pregnancy test in your bathroom drawer Olivia."

"When?" Olivia asked setting the trap but also realizing that her home had been invaded by this freak.

"Monday morning." He spoke arrogantly.

"Monday..." Olivia pretended to think. " I was out of the house Nicky. Looks like you just picked up a B&E too." She smiled.

"Good job." Elliot blatantly laughed at him. "No wonder she dumped you – the intelligence factor...not so good huh?"

"Well, you know, love is about sacrifice." She chuckled joining Elliot in his teasing.

"Love?" Ganzner asked angrily. "You have no capacity for love Detective Benson." he snarled. "You got your running shoes at the door and the baby you r scarring is gonna grow up unloved just like you did."

Olivia arched her eyebrows, his words bit into her skin with an evil hunger that sought to devour her hopes. Undaunted she looked at Elliot who's eyes were tense. She spoke nonchalantly.

"Well, I don't think I can accept the apology now." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Ya know – what are ya gonna do? He's scum, and you can't reason with scum." Elliot responded continuing the conversation as if Ganzner wasn't there.

"Well B&E. What's that now? Eight years?" She asked Elliot as Nick's eyes darted between the two.

"Actually I think ten now and with it being a cops house...not good. Especially when there's a taped confession." He smacked his lips.

"Yeah, well, whats really funny." She said standing as if she and Elliot would walk out. "is that impersonating an officer would have gotten him what? Three years?" She shook her head, "Your right Stabler – the intelligence factor...not so good."

"Alright, alright!" Ganzner burst as they were about to leave. " I took your badge big deal." He clenched his jaw as sweat beaded on his brow.

Olivia and Elliot returned to their seats. "Why did you need my badge?" She asked in victory knowing that the trap she set worked.

"When we were dating this guy approached me, he said he knew I was seeing a cop. Offered me money if I could get a hold of her badge." He paused.

"How much?" Elliot asked folding his arms.

"Three grand." Ganzner said with a smile.

"You sold me out for three grand?" Olivia was shocked, she turned to Elliot. " I would have thought at least five, maybe seven on a good days sleep." She shook her head.

"What do you mean sold you out?" Ganzner furrowed his brows.

"What did you buy with the badge Nicky?" she knocked on the table out of irritation.

"He sent me to a law enforcement shop to pick up an order he placed, he gave me some code he said I had to use, the guy didn't pay attention to the signature, just wanted to see the badge. I forged our name, I don't see how I sold you out?" He knocked on the table mocking Olivia's nervousness.

"Do you know what he did with the equipment?" Elliot slammed his hands on the table startling Ganzner?

"No, I never heard from him until he called last week, he offered more money for me to find you and give him information."

"So you broke into my home, peeked around and got lucky?" Olivia flared her nostrils her anger increasing.

" I have to say I was shocked to open the drawer and see a positive pregnancy test, I was shocked someone would wait for you to get over your pathetic insecurities."

Olivia motioned to the paper pad. " Start writing, sign it." she stared for several minutes as he completed his statement and signed it, sealing his own fate.

"Should have asked for a lawyer Nicky." She said taking possession of the note pad.

"Yeah? Why's that?" he smiled a cocky grin.

"I don't take kindly to people breaking into my home, impersonating me...you know I just find it offensive." She stood. "Your gonna love Rikers Nicky." She turned with Elliot following suit.

"Wait! I thought you would work a deal for me?" He pleaded.

Olivia turned around looking at Elliot. "What kind of time are we looking at Stabler?"

"Ten for the B&E, three for impersonating an officer, I am pretty sure theres something illegal about the money profit, and the forgery...probably fifteen or so." He nodded pursing his lips.

"Well, Nicky, I tell you what, since your pretty much just guilty of being stupid, I am gonna go ahead and take the forgery off the table." She smiled. "That should save you...what? Two...three months." Olivia winked her eye and exited the room with Elliot.

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"Fin!" Olivia and Elliot gasped in one accord as they watched Munch had him two fifty dollar bills.

"What?" He protested innocently. " I made a simple wager and I won." He smiled.

Olivia looked at the rest of the group in the observation room.

"Oh no, Elliot...they know." She laughed.

"Pregnant huh?" Munch said rubbing his tongue between his cheek. "Your relationship is costing me some serious cash." He hugged her.

"Keep the surprises coming, I am rebuilding my wardrobe." Fin embraced her.

"So details on the bet boys." Olivia was beaming as Casey hugged her. "I guess the lamp worked huh?"

"I said never, Fin said within a year...guess he should have said within the first month." Munch smiled.

"So," Cragen said with a small smile. "What does this mean?" He stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Well cap," Olivia smiled punching him lightly on the arm. "Looks like your gonna be a grandpa."

A/N HEY GUYS, NOW YOU SEE WHAT A KNUCKLE HEAD I AM . GANZENBERG...SUPRISED I DIDN'T SAY HENDENBURG. ANYWAY I WROTE THAT CHAPTER IN SUCH A HURRY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. LOL I AM

WAS SHOCKED IT MADE SINED. ANYWAY, I HAD TO REWATCH THE EPISODE AFTER YOU ALL LET ME KNOW. THANKS FOR KEEPING ME ON MY TOES, AND I AM GLAD SOMEONE NOTICED THE ALIAS TRIBUTE. I LOVE THAT SHOW...AFTER SVU OF COURSE. PEACE GUYS, WERE NEARING AN END...OR AT LEAST A SEQUAL IS IN THE FURTURE. LOL


	69. Chapter 69 Wake up I have a suprise

CHAPTER 69

Elliot crept into the master bedroom watching his wife as she slept. Her auburn hair in stark contrast to the white pillow case. Her olive skin forcing the down comforter to glow. He smiled to himself watching her breath, her chest rising and falling as she brought one hand above her head and placed the other curiously over her abdomen a small smile forming in the corners of her mouth.

Elliot crept closer whispering as he touched her. "Liv...Liv wake up honey." He kissed her forehead laughing softly. "I have a surprise for you." He kissed her gently on the mouth causing her to stir.

"El?" She was groggy but keenly aware of his body so near to her, she wrapped her hands around his neck her eyes still closed as she attempted to pull him down to her kissing him.

Elliot laughed. "Oh no you don't." He said resisting her pull and taking her by the arms to allow her to sit up. "You can't tempt me with your sexy ways Mrs. Stabler." He laughed. "I have something for you. Come on." He smiled pulling the covers off of her body exposing her 'boyshorts' and camisole.

"Elliot," She cried, "It's seven in the morning." She tried to pull the comforter back over her legs.

"I am aware of that." He laughed stopping her from grabbing them.

"Well are you also aware that it's a Saturday." She smiled kissing him. "There are certain things we could be doing in this very bed on a Saturday morning you know." She teased him. Trying to pull him back to her. She wrapped her legs around his waist. "You can't go now." She laughed.

Elliot looked at her accepting her challenge. He pushed himself off the bed, Olivia still holding on. "Well, looks like, I'll have to take you myself then." He smiled kissing her on the cheek and whispering in her ear. "I love you Olivia."

Olivia looked down into Elliot's eyes as he held her, "I love you too Elliot." She released her hold on his waist and lowered her feet to the floor. "Okay, I am awake now." She took his hand allowing him to lead her to his surprise.

Elliot led her not allowing her to change. He loved how she moved in her sleep attire, how she felt comfortable in it, how she glowed in it. "Here we are." He stopped in front of a door.

Olivia smiled. "That is an amazing door." She laughed.

Elliot kissed her softly and opened the door. "I cleaned it out after you went to sleeplast night. I had a friend drop the paint off this morning, a couple of different colors for you to choose from." He held her from behind. "It's right across form our room, so we would always hear her."

Olivia turned to face him. "Her?" She smiled. "I completely forgot about setting up a nursery." She laughed out loud hugging Elliot. "We're having a baby Elliot." She spoke excitedly.

"I thought we should get it taken care of as soon as possible since we have the weekend off before the trial. You never know when were gonna have days off like that again." He smiled back at her.

"Elliot, we don't really know if were having a boy or girl...what color do we paint it?" She asked crouching to look at the lids to the paint cans.

"Well, I thought we'd go with something natural...if you wanted." He smiled. "It's up to you."

Olivia continued looking at the colors on top of the lids, the mechanics of her mind working hard.

Elliot smiled seeing his wife content with something as simple as paint. It was a rare moment. "Hey, how about you change, and keep thinking up ideas and I'll cook you some breakfast?" He smiled in spite of Olivia not hearing a word he said, she was completely lost in the idea of creating a nursery.

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Elliot walked down the hall carrying a tray of eggs, bacon and fruit being careful not to spill the orange juice as he walked through the door.

"Wow! Liv," He smiled putting the tray on the floor. Olivia was lost in her work, balancing on a foot stool with a paint roller in hand. She had already finished applying a baby blue coat to the ceiling and was touching up spots.

Elliot had to touch her body to break her concentration. She hadn't changed her clothes, paint splatter covered her face. She blushed as she carefully stepped down into his arms. "I am sorry, I just had this idea and I went with it." She placed the roller back into the pan. "You made breakfast?" She asked making Elliot laugh, she had completely tunned him out.

"Yeah, come and eat. How are you feeling anyway?" He asked touching her stomach.

She smiled, pulling him by his belt until their chests met. "I am great...I am happy Elliot."


	70. Chapter 70 Court is now in session

CHAPTER 70

Olivia glanced at her watch that was splattered with paint. She had painted, taped, and touched up for the last twenty hours. Still in her boyshorts and camisole she stowed the paint roller and resealed the cans that were open.

As Olivia crept passed her sleeping Elliot she retrieved clean sleeping attire from her dresser and retreated to the bathroom. She ran the water allowing it to conform to her taste. As she removed her clothing she caught a glimpse of her bare stomach in the over sized mirror.

Olivia smiled as she ran her hands over her abdomen. She could see no obvious change yet but it took several minutes for her to realize the scars that she bore. No longer were her scars a badge of shame that told a sordid story. Her scars became a wall that provided a safe haven for the precious life within her and she was fine with that.

Olivia smiled to herself. "Hello little boy." she whispered down at her stomach. "Can't wait to see you. I hope you like you room." Olivia stepped into the shower allowing the warm water to caress her body.

Olivia's mind raced with ideas for the baby's nursery as she felt Elliot's familiar embrace around her waist. She smiled leaning into him as he caressed her stomach. "How is she?" Elliot whispered kissing Olivia's ear.

"She's hungry." Olivia smiled. "I am sorry I woke you." She whispered turning to face him.

"I don't really sleep if your not near me." He smiled kissing her lips softly. Elliot held Olivia tightly as the water streamed down their bodies. It was the small moments such as these that reminded them both that they could be happy in the face of adversity.

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Olivia's eyes bounced open quickly. She shifted her body. "Hey Elliot." She turned surprised not to see him. Looking at her watch she wondered where he could be so early on a Saturday. Remembering the nursery she walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth.

Looking into the mirror Olivia found a note taped to the surface.

"Hey mom – how's our little boy? Ran into town. My car is making funny noises, I borrowed your mustang. Won't be home until late. I love you more than you know. Elliot."

Olivia placed the note on the counter top and brushed her teeth. Olivia dug around looking for Elliot's NYPD shirt and opted for a pair of coveralls. She'd learned her lesson when she examined her paint spattered clothes from the night before.

Olivia retrieved an apple from a basket on the kitchen counter and disappeared into the nursery. Olivia turned on a portable radio and tuned out the world.

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Elliot walked through the house placing a box on the counter. The house was dark save a beam of light down the hallway. He smiled loosing his tie and slipping his shoes and socks off. When Olivia wanted to, she had a one track mind that fascinated Elliot. He knew she had worked straight through the day for the whole weekend.

"Liv? I come baring gifts." he turned the corner to see Olivia kneeling, her face inches from the wall, a tiny paintbrush being manipulated by her hand.

"Liv?" He smiled knowing he was nowhere in her world at the moment. He turned the stereo off and knelled next to a concentrating Olivia. "Oh my gosh that's amazing Olivia."

He was stunned to see what she was working on so intently. "Where did you come up with that?" He asked looking at the waist high border that wrapped around the room. It was white in contrast to the streamlined pale green wall. The green was neither rich nor lifeless, instead it reminded Elliot of the rhine of a honeydew melon. Light, flattering, and perfectly natural for either a girl or boy.

Elliot looked closely at the words that Olivia painted free hand in a calligraphy style of writing. They were written in a white that seemed to be only two maybe three shades darker than white she had used for the border.

"Do the words go all the way around?" He asked smiling at her artistic streak.

"Yeah, all different, all strong encouraging words or quotes." She smiled kissing him on his cheek and leading him to the start of the border. "I didn't want them to be easily distinguishable, I wanted people to have to take a second look. I want our little girl to know her strength, know she can do anything." Olivia bit her lip. "Do you like it or is it cheesy?"

"Are you kidding me? This is so amazing, I was just gonna throw some paint on the walls and call it a day." he laughed looking at more of the words on the wall. He read them out loud smiling. "I love you, your beautiful, I adore you." he moved to the next. "Love is patient, love is kind, it bares all burdens."

"Amazing." He whispered straightening himself. "Just like you."

Olivia smiled kissing his cheek and moving to his neck causing him to arch his head. "Oh my gosh a sky!" He laughed as he looked to the ceiling. "You painted a sky on the ceiling that is amazing." He embraced her tightly. "You are an amazing woman Olivia."

"Why thank you" She blushed. "You bring it out in me."

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"So, tomorrow's the big day huh?" Elliot placed a plate of Chinese food in front of Olivia.

"Yeah." She pursed her lips her voice dropping. "The big day." she muled the words over in her mind. "Where's CrackerJack?" She asked changing the subject.

"They're outside running off some of that energy they have." He smiled. "I got them this big bed thing for the bedroom, so they can sleep on the floor, don't want them jumping on your belly anymore, they're getting too big." He smiled, handing her a bottle of water.

"There huge" She agreed picking at her food.

"Not hungry?" He furrowed her brows.

"I haven't eaten all day, just an apple." she stared at her food slouching in her chair.

Elliot pulled his chair next to her and wrapped his arm around her bringing her head into his chest. "Want to talk about it?" His voice soothed her.

She straightened herself before speaking. "I am just worried about what type of questions they'll ask me. We've seen how those attorney's rip the victims to shreds." She paused handing the bottle of water to Elliot.

Elliot gracefully removed the cap handing it back to her, "Your a decorated and highly respected detective Liv, and your armed with the truth. The jury will side with you." He took her hand in his pulling her up from her chair.

"How am I so lucky to have you Elliot?" she smiled.

"It's definatly the other way around." He laughed.

"So tell me Mr. Stabler?" Olivia brought her lips to his ear. "Did you like yesterday's attire or today's."

Elliot looked at his wife, she wore his shirt, a comforting action she had taken to when Elliot was gone. Over sized coveralls and a paint splattered bandanna covering her hair. He laughed removing the bandanna allowing her hair to fall freely. "You make any attire look great." he smiled as he kissed her and began to pull gently on the coverall zipper. "But your birthday suit is amazing."

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Elliot adjusted his tie as he watched Olivia sitting on the edge of the bed wringing her hands. When Elliot was satisfied his ties appearance he joined her.

"Nervous?" He asked knowing full well she was.

"Lil bit." She furrowed her brows. "Casey called while you were in the shower." she spoke looking down.

"What did she say?"

"Just wanted to let us know that she has spent every waking moment on this case and..." Olivia's voice trailed off.

"Liv?" He encouraged her to finish.

"The attorney is Johnathan Klienstead." She shook her head. "Remember him?" She asked as tears filled her eyes.

Elliot took a breath, "Flawless record, ruthless bedside manner. Yeah I do." He took hold of her hand as they both looked down at their stocking feet.

"Elliot?" She grabbed her stomach. " I am gonna be sick."

Elliot helped her to her feet quickly, "Okay lets go." He led her to the bathroom grabbing a towel from the wall as they passed. Just as she kneeled he draped it over her chest to protect her shirt as her body convulsed.

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"What did you say was wrong with your car?" Olivia nervously spoke about anything except the trial as they drove into the city.

"I think there's a leak in the radiator." He took hold of her hand understanding her anxiety.

"Did you feed CrackerJack?" She asked gripping his hand in return thanking him for his support.

"Yep, turned to coffee pot off too." He smiled turning the car and allowing the leather wheel to slid through his hand as the car straightened itself. "You don't have to talk, rest." He turned to her as he stopped the car at a red light.

Olivia shook her head. "I can't, what if he gets off Elliot."

"He wont!"Elliot's voice was authoritative as if he were speaking with inside information.

Elliot pulled the ticket out of the machine and tossed it on the dashboard. He parked the car in the first available spot. They both stepped out of the car into the public eye. Any encouragement or physical comfort Elliot would normally give her ceased the moment they left the car.

It would be one excruciating block to the court house. Olivia hung her head as she walked alongside Elliot.

"I hate that I can't hold you Olivia." he told her softly.

"I am pretending you are." She raised her head to look at him, a smile in the making.

Olivia displayed her badge and relinquished her weapon to be locked in a locker for law enforcement personnel. Elliot followed her lead and joined her at the elevator.

"Fifth floor?" Elliot pushed the button as he asked.

"Yeah." as the doors closed Olivia buried herself into Elliot's embrace thankful there was no one else with them.

"It's okay." He pulled her even closer. "Your gonna do fine, and he will never see the light of day again Liv."

Olivia straightened herself, and pulled him to her lips kissing him on the mouth separating his lips with her tongue. She pulled away resting her forehead against his. "Thank you." She whispered pulling away to inspect Elliot's face for trace amounts of lipstick. "I love you.' She whispered as the elevator dinged and the doors opened.

Elliot and Olivia took their seats in the front row of the courthouse, waiting patiently. Casey walked in placing her bags on the prosecutors table. She looked tired, her eyes dimmer than normal. Olivia was thankful she had a pit bull like Casey fighting for her.

The defense attorney conversated shortly with Casey until Olivia's father was brought in dressed in a suit and tie. His attorney must have filed a motion for civilian attire. Olivia's father took notice of her as soon as he walked in. As he passed her he made a kissing motion, "Hi sweetheart." he smiled at her.

The bailiff jerked on the handcuffs, forcefully placing him in his chair whispering an inaudible message in his ear that quickly shut him up. The bailiff returned to the side of the bench and cleared his throat.

"All rise." He brought the courtroom to their feet. "The honorable Judge Christine Camerina presiding."

Olivia took a deep breath hoping for the best...expecting the worse.


	71. Chapter 71 Talk about held in contempt

CHAPTER 71

Olivia sat for what seemed like hours. Casey told her it would be a relatively short trial, three maybe five days at the longest. However, Olivia could have sworn the battery in her watch had died were it not for the second hand's movement. Olivia felt as though she were getting a glimpse of what eternity would feel like.

"Olivia?" Elliot whispered nudging her softly. Olivia looked up startled to see what seemed to be the entire courtroom starring at her. She had been so lost in her thoughts during the opening arguments she hadn't realized Casey had called her to the stand.

Olivia stood to her feet, slowly sidestepping the pew she sat in. She forced herself to keep her head raised as she walked passed onlookers in other pews, she tried to ignore the pointing fingers, and random whispers. Olivia walked purposefully to the witness stand adjusting the cuff of her burgundy shirt. The bailiff approached her holding a Bible in his hand.

"Do you swear to..." The bailiff's lips were moving but the words were indistinguishable to her. Her own heart beat drowning out his voice.

When his lips stopped moving. She shook her head and muttered. "Yes". She sat slowly looking at Victor Lias and then focused her attention on Casey Novak, her best friend and current defender. As Olivia crossed one leg over the other she mentally switched into 'detective mode' as she rest her hands in her lap.

"Please state your name and profession." Casey stood walking to the center of the courtroom.

"My name is Olivia Benson I am a special victim's detective assigned to the 1-6." She licked her lips appreciating Casey's slow approach.

"Do you enjoy your job Detective Benson?" Casey asked.

"Very much." Olivia said shaking her head in affirmation.

Casey approached Olivia, "Detective Benson, can you please tell the court what happened on the night in question?"

"My partner's and I received credible information that Mr. Lias would be coming to my apartment. We devised an operation wherein I would be recorded talking to him." It took everything within Olivia to keep her voice steady as she explained herself.

"So basically a police set up or sting?" Casey paced slowly in front of Olivia.

"Yes, exactly." Olivia responded.

"Why did you use yourself as bait? Why not use a different officer?" Casey stopped only to ask the question then resumed her pace as Olivia answered the question.

"Mr. Lias has kept me under servailance since I was a child. He would have know if it wasn't me. I was not a random attack – I was part of a carefully calculated equation." Olivia's voice became stressed, not accustomed to speaking as a victim would.

"Why has he kept track of you Detec-".

"Objection! The detective could not possibly know my client's inner thought processes.

"Actually, I do." Olivia arched her brows looking at the defense attorney.

"Overruled. Go ahead Detective." Judge Camerina motioned to Olivia.

"While he was beating me..." Olivia spoke with disdain. "He told me that I was his daughter, the lab has DNA that confirms his claim." She narrowed her gaze at Lias before returning her focus to Casey.

"You didn't know your father growing up?" Casey asked clarifying for the jury.

" No, I never really had the desire to know him." She spoke nervously repositioning herself in the chair. She knew Casey was starting to get more serious in her questioning.

"Why?" Casey chirped, causing Olivia to take a deep breath bowing her head.

"Why Detective?" Casey pushed knowing it was killing Olivia to be vulnerable in front of so many people.

Olivia looked up, "The only reason why I was born was because he raped my mother." she said as she bit her lip.

"That's not true!" Victor barked startling his attorney who tried to calm him.

Judge Camerina pounded her gavel. "Control your client or I'll have him removed."

Victor Lias leaned over the defense table shaking his fist at Olivia. "Your mother begged me for it just like you would have." He shouted.

"Mr. Klienstead!" Judge Camerina pounded her gavel again. "I will hold your client in contempt if he is not brought under control." She spoke forcefully as he hissed something into Lias' ear, and pressed down on his shoulders forcing him to sit.

"Proceed Ms. Novak." Camerina spoke irritated.

"Thank you Your Honor." Casey offered a light nod of her head before returning to Olivia who was shocked at the display that had just taken place.

"Are you alright Detective?" Casey asked.

"Yes." Olivia shook her head.

Casey faced the jury while speaking to Olivia. "So, this man raped your mother and stalked you your entire life?" Casey asked emphasizing her point to the jury. "What kind of sick person does that to his own daughter?"

"Objection."

"Withdrawn." Casey knew once the jury heard something it was hard for them to get it our of their minds. She returned to face Olivia. "What did your father do to you that night?" She asked.

"He is not my father." Olivia stared at Casey a flicker of rage in her eyes.

"Excuse me?" Casey wasn't sure what Olivia meant.

"He may have _fathered_ me...but do _not_ call that man my _father_." Olivia's voice was tinged in anger. As Casey slowly shook her head she realized she had offended Olivia by her choice of words.

"Okay." Casey's voice was low, almost apologetic as she took a breath and rephrased her question. "What did Mr. Lias do to you on the night in question Detective Benson?"

Olivia focused her attention on the jury as she cleared her throat. "He pepper sprayed me then repeatedly kicked me in my ribs. He stomped my chest and beat me with a belt until my skin ripped open."

"What else?" Casey asked softly encouraging Olivia to speak all of the details.

"He...um...pinned me to the floor..." Olivia rubbed the back of her neck as Elliot moved forward in his seat knowing the pain Olivia was feeling in spite of her stoic behavior.

"He grabbed for my panties..."

"What did you think was going to happen?" Casey asked compassionately.

"Objection – speculation!" Klienstead protested

"Sustained – rephrase counselor." Camerina spoke jotting notes on a pad of paper.

Casey lowered her head turning her back toward Olivia as she paced. "Based on the facts that he had you _pinned_ and was _forcefully_ removing your panties without your permission, what did you _conclude_ was going to happen?"

"Well..." Olivia faced the jury again arching her brows. "I also took into consideration his threat and the fact that he was erect. From those facts I concluded he would try to rape me and as he said...kill me." She bit her bottom lip as her eyes welled with tears. Clearing her throat she fought to regain her composure.

"No further questions Your Honor." Casey retreated to her seat.

"Your witness Mr. Klienstead." Camerina motioned toward the defense table.

Johnathan Klienstead stood up arrogantly and buttoned his Armani suit. He slithered closer to Olivia – his overpriced Italian shoes sounded more like a woman's pair of high-heels as they collided with the linoleum. Klienstead was at the witness stand, his forearm resting on the edge.

"Olivia." He paused gesturing his hand. "May I call you Olivia?" he asked causing her to clench her jaw.

"You may call me Detective Benson." She starred at him outwardly undaunted by his reputation while she inwardly felt as though she would vomit.

"He's right..." Klienstead mumbled turning away from Olivia. "You are fiesty."

"Objection!" Casey yelled perhaps an octave higher than she normally would when she was outraged. Her eyes shifted between the judge and the snake that had just spewed venom.

Judge Camerina leaned forward speaking sternly. "Mr. Klienstead! Detective Benson is a decorated officer who has treated my court room respectfully at all times. You _will _treat her with the same respect she has bestowed this court, or I will personally go to the disciplinary board to have you disbarred. Do you understand me?" She said looking over the rims of her glasses. "Your reputation precedes you Mr. Klienstead and it disgusts me. I will not tolerate your unprofessional behavior."

Clearly taken aback by the Judges public admonishment Klienstead swallowed before speaking "Yes Your Honor. I apologize."

"Continue." She instructed.

"Detective Benson...you stated that you were pepper sprayed during the attack correct?" He asked his face still flush with embarrassment.

"Yes."

"So, how do you know it was my client who, as you say, wanted to rape and kill you?" He asked using air quotes.

"Because your client has a very distinctive voice." Olivia fought the anger that pumped through her veins.

"And you expect this jury to convict my client based on the tambre of one's voice?" He asked waving his hand across the jury like a male Vanna White.

Olivia faced the jury counteracting his arrogant gesture. "No. I expect this jury to convict him because that is the man I stabbed as he was choking me to death." When Olivia was certain her sentence impacted the jury she focused back on Klienstead who seemed to be equally shocked at her brazen nature. Olivia narrowed her gaze at him and thought to herself._ "Feisty? You haven't seen Feisty._"

"What were you wearing Detective Benson?" He asked folding his arms.

"Clothes." Olivia responded shortly knowing his next accusation would be as ridiculous as his first.

"Don't be coy Detective, what type of clothes specifically." He asked with a more serious face.

"I was wearing a male dress shirt by George and black panties by Jockey. Is that specific enough?" She pressed her lips together.

"So essentially you seduced your own father?" He blurted.

"Objection! Badgering." Casey was growing irritated. Elliot look as if he would explode.

"Sustained." Camerina spoke. "You had better reign in your comments." She barked.

"Do you normally sleep in provocative clothing?" He asked arching his brows.

Olivia smiled. "First of all, cotton panties aren't my idea of provocative, secondly, do you sleep in your underwear? If so, does that give a man the right to rape you?" She repositioned herself in her seat maintaining eye contact.

"Why were you wearing a male shirt?" He asked smelling opportunity.

"Because I felt comfortable in it." She smiled inwardly noticing Elliot blush.

"Where did you get the shirt? Your _single_ aren't you?" He furrowed his brows.

"Objection! Relevance?" Casey stepped in.

"_Thank you_." Olivia thought to herself.

"What is your point counselor?" Camerina asked Klienstead.

"I am trying to establish rather or not she is a sexually promiscuous woman your honor." He justified himself.

"Then _ask_ her! But do not run her through the mud!" Camerina shifted her attention back to Olivia.

"Detective Benson...are you promiscuous?" He stepped closer invading her space.

"No." She smiled.

"No? How many sexual partners have you had Detective?" He asked her.

"Not that it is any of your business, but, one." She smiled again.

"One? Detective, do you expect this court to believe that a woman as beautiful as you has had only one sexual partner?" He asked incredulously.

Olivia was insulted, she leaned forward unable to edit her remarks. "Do you expect this court to believe that an ignorant and potentially unintelligent person such as yourself was capable of passing the Bar Exam?" She asked her question just as serious as he had asked his. "We're here discussing the fact that your client tried to _kill_ me..._not_ who I've slept with." She leaned back in her chair disgusted.

"Your Honor please instruct the witness." He asked.

"I am afraid I have to agree with the witness. Her past sexual history is inadmissible, the jury will disregard." Camerina instructed as Olivia fought to hold back a smile.

Lias leapt from his chair "She's a whore! She begged me, she wanted me! This is your fault slut."

"Objection!" Casey yelled.

"Bailiff, take the defendant into custody." Camerina slammed her gavel again. "Court will resume tomorrow at -"

BOOM!

The entire courtroom burst into hysteria, hitting the floor after the gun shoot rang out. Elliot moved quickly to observe the people around him. Everyone was alive, no blood. Olivia moved quickly out of the witness stand taking Casey to the ground. She moved her eyes quickly around the courthouse and then she saw the bailiff standing, starring down shocked as blood pooled around his patent leather shoes. His body shook as he mumbled.

Elliot stood to his feet looking at the bailiff, inspecting his body from a distance. No blood. As Olivia walked closer to the defense table she observed Klienstead moving uninjured. As Elliot moved closer he was eventually standing next to Olivia who was starring at the pool of blood listening to the bailiff mumble. "He grabbed my gun, he grabbed my gun."

Elliot looked on the opposite side of the table at the same time Olivia walked around to the other side and gasped at what they saw.

"Call a bus." Elliot spoke in shock.

Olivia crouched down looking for a pulse on the bloody neck. She looked at Elliot her eyes bigger than quarters " Talk about being held in contempt."


	72. Chapter 72 Youre peace will come

CHAPTER 72

Within minutes the courtroom onlookers were evacuated and replaced with paramedics who quickly rushed to Lias as he lay bleeding from a single shot to his head. The older male paramedic crouched near Olivia who was trying to hold pressure on the wound as the warm blood flowed through her fingers.

"Does he have a pulse?" The paramedic asked applying several layers of dressing over the wound.

"Barely..." Olivia whispered still stunned as Elliot spoke quickly on his cell phone. "He's been down five or six minutes." She informed the paramedic team.

Elliot hung his phone up returning it to his pocket as he walked to Olivia. Her burgundy shirt did a good job of hiding the blood she was covered in. It looked more like she'd simply spilled water on herself. Her hands, however; were a different matter completely. Her fingernails burned red right down to the nail bed, her palms were caked with thick blood. Olivia starred as the paramedics placed a tube down Lias' throat to 'bag' him.

"Come on Liv." Elliot spoke compassionately as he softly placed his hand on the small of her back. "Let's get you cleaned up." He attempted to walk her out of the courtroom but noticed the media swarming in front of the court room like rabid dogs. Elliot redirected their paths to the judges chamber. He assumed it would be empty, that Judge Camerina would have been evacuated.

Knocking on the door and slowly peeking in, it appeared his assumptions were correct. After Elliot led Olivia to the undoubtedly overpriced leather couch, he looked for any attire Judge Camerina may have in her chambers. When he was sure there was none he devised a 'plan B' pulling a handkerchief from his pocket and pouring bottled water from a small refrigerator on it.

Elliot kneeled in front of a storm-tossed Olivia and gently wiped a red stain from her cheek. He took her shaking hand into his and allowed the moisture of the white handkerchief to loosen the now drying blood.

As red as the previous white piece of cloth had become the blood seemed to be a permanent stain on her once olive skin.

"Take your shirt off." He spoke softly helping her to her feet. She bowed her head starring at the blood stained shirt. Elliot understood her reluctance and began to unbutton the shirt for her. He cast the shirt aside wetting the handkerchief again to wipe the stain that had seeped through her shirt into her skin. Elliot dabbed at her abdomen but felt her hand over his causing him to look up at his tormented wife as a small sniffle permeated his ears. Olivia released her tears speaking with a broken voice.

"Please take me home."

Elliot nodded his head in agreement as he removed his jacket and tie. Elliot unbuttoned his shirt and handed it to Olivia remembering that she had said she felt comfortable in it. Elliot adjusted his white undershirt and his belt as Olivia donned his shirt in front o fa mirror she assumed Camerina probably looked in every day. Elliot disposed of the bottled water, and bloody fabrics as Casey Novak walked in after a gently knock.

"I though you might have come here." Casey spoke softly closing the door. "How are you doing Olivia?" She asked embracing a still quiet Olivia who shook her head as if to say "Fine." but her inability to speak conveyed a far different story that Casey seemed to understand.

"I am taking her home." Elliot approached them both. "She needs to rest." He said looking at her. Elliot was surprised how feminine Olivia made his shirt look. Although it was too big for her she had smoothed out the fabric in the front pulling the excess fabric to her back in a perfect military wreath-tuck that forced the shirt to conform to her body. The baggy arms were the only indication that she hadn't chose the shirt out of want. Olivia raised her hand to feel that the collar on the shirt was in it's proper position a glimmer of insequritie in her eyes.

"Here." Casey said taking her own blazer off and handing it to Olivia who smiled albeit forced. She slipped the jacket on adjusting the cuffs and the collar for the second time.

"I'll call if I hear anything Liv." Casey said stroking Olivia's arm before leaving.

Elliot put his Jacket on over his undershirt secretly taking a liking to the casual look. "Ready Liv?" He asked shoving his tie in his pocket. Olivia shook her head affirmatively allowing Elliot to lead her out of the Judges chambers.

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Nearly seven hours after Lias had shot himself, Olivia had not said a word. She sat blank on the couch with her knees drawn to her lap, her hair still wet from the shower she had taken. Elliot walked slowly, balancing a tray of food in his hand.

"You have to eat." He spoke out of concern for both her and the baby. Elliot sat next to her wrapping his arms around her shoulder and pulling her gently into his chest. "Please eat." He smiled looking down. "I slaved over this Italian dinner for you."

Elliot released her and brought the tray to her. "Ah-" She laughed. "Comfort food." She picked up the spoon and savored the first bite of Spaghettios "Oh, you remembered to grate cheese in it...good man Stabler." She smiled enjoying something as simple as Spaghettios. Elliot picked up another spoon from the tray and shared 'dinner' with his wife in silence until his phone rang.

Looking at the caller I.D. Elliot furrowed his brows. "It's Novak." He informed Olivia who wiped her mouth and returned the tray to the kitchen. After rinsing the dishes and drying her hands she returned to Elliot just as he closed his cellphone, a look of concern on his face.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked moving to be near him.

Elliot looked at Olivia with eyes that spoke volumes. "They managed to keep Lias alive...he'll prob-"

A look of complete disbelief shrouded Olivia's face. "How!" She yelled startling Elliot unintentionally. "Elliot! He _shot himself in the head" _Olivia made small chopping motions into her palm emphasizing each word. "How is he still alive?" Her voice stressed as the vein in her forehead emerged indicating her anger was building.

"Oliv-" Elliot stood trying to calm her.

"Don't Elliot!" She yelled. Turning her back to him as she ran her fingers through her hair. "This is never going to end!" She turned back still yelling only louder. "What did I do? Tell me Elliot!" She bit her lip taking another breath.

Having never seen Olivia so angry he approached her carefully. "Liv-"

"Stop! Stop trying to _save_ me Elliot!" The veins in her neck pulsating as they darkened in color. "What did I do to deserve this?" Her voice was still just as loud only this time her eyes cried out in grief, not in anger. She turned sharply bracing herself against the counter. Olivia yelled again venting an entire lifes worth of rage, "I dedicated my life to restoring peace to victims of crime." In one swift movement Olivia started at one end of the counter using her forearm she made a sweeping motion throwing everything from the counter to the wall and floor as she yelled into the atmosphere. "ALL I WANT IS SOME PEACE FOR MYSELF!"

Elliot moved to her quickly now wrapping his arms around her tightly from behind. "Olivia, the baby." He reminded her gently.

Olivia lowered her voice from anger to agony. "It's never going to end Elliot. What did I do?" Elliot turned her around gently to face her. Her red eyes pooled and her chest heaved. "What did I do?" She whispered burying her head into his chest.

Elliot separated from her gently looking at her face, searching the hurt that was seeping from her eyes. "Olivia, you did absolutely nothing." He spoke with a stern love that ironically soothed her. Elliot kissed her gently on her forehead, taking her back into his arms. "None of this is your fault sweetheart, none of it." He embraced her tighter as she exhaled deeply.

"Elliot?" Olivia tightened her arms around him.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry I yelled." She buried her head in his chest partly out of shame for her behavior. "I said I'd never yell, I am sorry." She sobbed into his chest.

Realizing what was going through Olivia's mind Elliot chose to speak truth over her misconceptions. "Olivia, I forgive you. It's okay to be upset, it's okay to let your emotions out." he held the back of her head softly. "Yelling does not mean your anything like your mother." He knew that was the very thought she was entertaining when she let out a shuddering sigh.

Elliot loosened his hold once he was confident her anger had dissipated. He allowed Olivia to break the embrace when she was ready. After several minutes she hadn't moved and Elliot was fine with that.

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"I am gonna be sick." She said with a small moan as she separated from him caressing her stomach. "I am gonna puke." She turned running to the bathroom. Elliot followed her quickly reaching for the stockpile of towels they'd agreed to keep folded on the tank of the toilet. After making her deposit to the porcelain bank, he repeated the familiar motion of handing her the towel.

"I think we can scratch Spaghettios off the list." she laughed half heartedly as she reached for her toothbrush.

"Well, maybe just for the next eight months." Elliot smiled as she rinsed her mouth and dabbed her lips on the towel again.

Olivia braced herself on the counter shaking her head. "I'm sorry Elliot, I really am."

Elliot led her out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom. "Olivia Stabler." His voice was firmly reassuring. "I'll tell you again, it's forgotten, I forgive you Liv. No more apologizing okay." He kissed her softly on the lips actually causing her to blush.

"El?" The sound of his named shortened falling from her lips set him at ease. It was how she spoke to him when she was herself.

"Yeah?"

Olivia spoke still queezy as she reached for his hand placing it over her abdomen. "Do you think Christopher heard what happened today?" she asked with concern in her eyes.

Elliot kissed her gently, smiling into her lips. He traveled down her neck positioning his body behind hers. Elliot placed his hands over her abdomen. "I think that Isabel will be just fine." he embraced her allowing her to feel safe, in spite of the chaos that happened throughout the day. He kissed her gently on her cheek.

"Isabel huh?" She smiled. "I like that." she said as she turned to kiss him.

"Liv I have to tell you something." He said serious enough to make Olivia step back.

"What?" She furrowed her brows bracing for another 'surprise'.

Elliot smiled realizing he startled her. "I am not really liking the whole 'Christopher' name."

Olivia punched him softly in the arm. "Your too much Stabler." She laughed. " I was just brainstorming." She reassured him before becoming serious again.

"El?"

"Yes, Mrs. Stabler?" He spoke softly with a small smile.

"I know it's early, but I am exhausted, will you lay with me until I fall asleep?" She asked not wanting to be alone.

Elliot brushed her hair away from her eyes. "Absolutely" he agreed following her to the bed.

Olivia lay facing Elliot who rested his hand on her waist as he watched her eyes flutter between sleep and wakefulness. Her eyes jerked open one last time stealing a glimpse of Elliot's face. She smiled position her body even closer to his as he brushed the hair from her eyes. As she fell deeper into sleep Elliot whispered softly enough as not to wake her. "You're peace will come."


	73. Chapter 73 For the first time

CHAPTER 73

"Hand me that screw please." Elliot said holding the railing to the crib in order to make it straight before drilling the screw through the wood.

"El, I really like this crib, it's amazing." Olivia smiled handing him his requested item. After encouragement from the drill the screw held the last part of the crib perfectly in place. Elliot stood to his feet smiling as Olivia looked around the nursery. It had taken her and Elliot nearly three months to find a nursery bedroom set they could both agree on.

Elliot had spotted the crib at a furniture store and insisted Olivia see it. A matching changing table and small dress were set across from the crib while an empty book shelf occupied the corner. Olivia had decided to place the rocking chair near the window so she could see outside while she held the baby.

It seemed that Olivia's morning sickness had died down considerably, although, there were still times when she was forced to bow before the porcelain king. She was fortuneate enough to still be fitting in at least some of her clothes but from what Elliot could see they would be making a trip to the maternity section shortly.

"Liv?" Elliot caught her attention as he placed a pack of tiny white shirts, that Cragen had dropped by, into the top drawer of the dresser.

"Yeah?" She responded smilling at the tiny pair of socks he had included with the shirts.

"I know your gonna hate it, but, have you thought about riding a desk?" He asked her as he placed his hand on her now slightly bulging abdomen.

"I thought we would wait until I was starting to show?" She reminded him.

"Um..." Elliot patted her stomach again. "I think it's time to talk to Cragen." he smiled.

"Mr. Stabler!" She smiled trying not to blush. "Is that your creative way of saying I am fat?" She chuckled kissing him through her smile.

"Fat? Nah. Pregnant?... _Oh yeah._" He mimicked the Twix comercial and laughed kissing her back. "You're still sexy." He smiled but soon allowed it to fade when she averted her eyes from his. Was it possible that Olivia actually felt unattractive? Elliot narrowed his eyes in wonderment. She had possessed a low self esteem because of her past, and her scars but it seemed as if she had finally come to terms with her body and beauty. She had seemed so comfortable, even in her nakedness that Elliot had to wonder why she turned away.

"Liv? What's up? Talk." He gently moved her face to look to him. He was surprised to see her blushing. "Why the long face?"

"Elliot – I am wearing track pants." She spoke pulling at the cloth.

"Yeah, and you make 'em look good too." He smiled.

"Elliot, I put on my favorite pair of jeans today and..." She blushed again feeling the heat race through her face.

"And?"

"I couldn't button them." She mummbled looking down, Elliot laughed hysterically producing a mortified look on Olivia's face. "This isn't funny Stabler!" She tried to speak firmly but lost the battle. Smiling sheepishly, Olivia walked closer. "Yeah, laugh now Stabler, your not the one walking around with a wedgie from hell." She planted a short peck on his cheek. "We have to go shopping and tomorrow, when we go back to work, I'll talk to Cragen." She agreed.

"Yes!" Elliot called out in victory.

"What makes you so happy? It's your money being spent." She arched her brow.

"Yeah, well, I get to see you do my paperwork for the next six months." He was rubbing it in.

"Yeah maybe. But I wouldn't get too happy, you'll be riding around with Munch and Fin, and I won't be there to protect you." She laughed as his face produced an "oh no!' look.

"Yeah, who's laughin now?" She called out from the restroom as she prepared herself to go shopping.

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Elliot was shocked to see Olivia shopping in action. He had always assumed that since she wore name brands like DKNY and Calvin Klein, she would bust the bank for a maternity wordrobe. The truth of the matter was, she walked straight to the clearance racks first, looking for clothes that would fit her personality. Occasionally she looked through racks that were on sale or regular priced but was careful to not select anything too pricy.

After only a few hours Olivia made her way to the register with a mound of clothes Elliot was sure would not fit in the closet. Having lost track of the amount of clothing she had, Elliot dreaded the final outcome.

The young cashier was careful to fold every piece of fabric. Elliot was certain she was purposefully prolonging his agony.

"Do you have your store card ma'am?" The cashier's voice was chipper, it sounded expensive to Elliot.

"Yep, do I still get the ten percent off for it being the first saturday of the month?" Olivia said pulling a card from her wallet and handing it to the cashier. "Oh, here's a coupon too." She slid it across the counter.

After punching various keys at the register, each one sounding more expensive to Elliot, the cashier assessed the damage. "$157.93". She smiled accepting Elliot's credit card.

Clearly shocked Elliot looked at the bulging bags trying to figure out if the cashier had done her job correctly. After signing the slip Elliot replaced his wallet and seperated the bags between the two of them.

"It's killing you isn't it." Olivia smiled placing her bags in the back of the mustang.

"What?" Elliot placed his bags next to her's careful of the rust. He tried for years to convince her to sell her '66 mustang, but she absolutely wouldn't part with it. He gave her credit for the healthy engine it had, but worried she would be hurt in an accident wearing only a lap belt.

"Don't _what_ me." She closed the trunk. "Your dying to look at the receipt."

Elliot smiled. "I think I had you pegged wrong. I thought for sure we would both have to put in overtime for that shopping spree. I guess I always thought you were a wardrobe snob." Partners for eight years, married for three months, and they still surprised one another.

Olivia laughed. " I could have done serious damage in there Elliot." She slid into the passenger seat grabbing for her lap belt. "I like to look good, but I love not being in debt." She smiled, sensing the relief in Elliot.

Elliot strapped himself in turning the key in the ignition. The healthy rumbled of the mustang coming to life. Elliot smashed the cluth to the floor attempting reverse. He'd only driven the car a handful of times and reverse fought with him each time. Griding the gear he greew irritated.

"Ah, Liv, when are you gonna sale this?" He smiled.

"What's your motto El? Can't find it, grind it?" She placed her hand over his and easily slid the shifter into reverse.

"Unbelievable." He smiled shaking his head as he backed out of the stall.

"Believe it Stabler." She smiled reaching for her ringing cell phone.

Elliot was greatful for the Mustang's speed as he merged onto the freeway. Olivia was oddly quiet except for the occasional 'Uh huh'. She snapped her fingers twice to get Elliot's attention without speaking into the phone. She was rapidly pointing to the next exit indicating Elliot should take it. "Yeah were about two blocks away...three minutes." She closed her cell phone. "That was Casey." Olivia swallowed and took a breath as Elliot stopped at the freeway exit's stop light.

"And?" Elliot narrowed his eyes.

Olivia pointed to the right, giving Elliot directions to the hospital as she spoke in a low tense voice, "Victor Lias' doctor needs to meet with me."

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"Ms. Benson, please sit down." The older doctor spoke in a welcoming voice. "And you are?" He asked extending his hand to Elliot.

"I am her partner, Elliot Stabler." He and Olivia had taken the phrase 'partner' much more serious now. It had become an inside ackowledgement of introducing one another as their spouse without loosing their jobs.

Casey walked in shortly after Elliot and Olivia claimed the only two chair's available, other than the doctor's seat. "Sorry, I had to take a phone call."

"Casey? I didn't know you'd be here." Olivia was confused. She had only informed Olivia that the doctor needed to speak with her. Olivia didn't mind that Casey was there, she did, however, mind not knowing why.

"Liv," Casey exhaled deeply shifting her eyes between Olivia and Elliot. "There's a legal matter that we have to deal with."

"What do you mean _legal matter_?" Olivia crossed her legs tapping each finger of her right hand with her thumb.

"Maybe, I should fill her in." The doctor stood to his feet offering his chair to Casey, who gladly took it. She wan't looking good...she seemed depressed. The doctor leaned against his desk in front of his guests. "I am Dr. Okopi your father's new attending physician." The doctor was somewhat pale with greying blond hair. He slipped a pair of reading glasses on and opened a file he had on his desk.

"About two weeks ago, you'r father's chart was handed to me. I read his file and the paramedics report." The doctor looked at Olivia over the rim of his glasses. "You did what you could in the court room Ms. Benson."

Olivia looked at Elliot confused as to why Dr. Okopi would think she cared. She bit her lip. "I'm a cop, it's a reaction." her voice was rough as she tried to disassociate herself form the situation. "Well, you're reaction saved his life. You should be proud -"

"Excuse me?" Olivia narrowed her eyes. "What are you getting at doctor?" Olivia pinched the bridge of her nose fighting her anger, it was obvious the doctor didn't know the history between the two.

The doctor spoke looking at the file. "Your father-"

Olivia bit her tongue fighting the need to correct him.

"Suffered severe brain damage. The bullet entered his jaw at an angle," he used his own face as a model. "cut through the frontal lobe and and lodged here." He said pointing to an imaginary spot on the side of his head. "I am afraid he's been in a very deep coma for over 90 days. The law forced our hand Ms. Benson." He closed his folder.

"What the hell is he talking about Casey?" Elliot spoke out of confusion and anger.

"Ms. Novak tells me you all are friends?" The doctor asked. "Maybe it will be easier if she -"

Olivia clenched her jaw. "Will someone please just say what needs to be said." her patience were running thin.

"Liv, if a patient is on life support with no family member in charge of their care, the state allows the hospital to stop life support after ninety days." Casey searched her face hoping she was following along.

"What are you telling me Casey?" Olivia stared at her.

"It's been ninety-five days Liv, the only legal family he has are you and Oliver." Casey pressed her lips together knowing Olivia was analyzing what she was saying.

"So go talk to Oliver." Elliot snapped.

"We did Elliot. He said to pull the plug after the second day."

"So why is he still here ninety-three days later?" Elliot said speaking to Casey as Olivia took in the conversation.

"A civil rights attorney got wind of it. A junction was filed before the hospital could file the necessary paperwork to stop life support." Casey looked at Olivia, she was strong, but was she strong enough?

"Whats it say?" Elliot asked understanding Olivia's absence of communication.

"The attorney successfully argued that Oliver's decision was potentially biased because of the abuse and the fact that if Lias should ever come to, his testimony could be used against him. Basically, the court agreed that Oliver didn't have Victor's best interest at heart." Casey looked at Elliot who was looking at Olivia with concern and compassion.

Olivia spoke sarcasticaly, "So, he rapes his son, making him biased, he tries to kill me and they want me to give him a fair shake?"

"I don't understand?" The doctor interjected.

"This man tried to kill you yet you saved his life?" He looked over his glasses.

"What do you mean I saved his life?" Olivia leaned forward his sentence had struck a nerve.

"Ms. Benson, had you not attempted to stop the bleeding, he would have died before the paramedics arrived." The doctor shook his head.

Olivia leaned back in her chair and scoffed sarcasticaly, "Horray for me." After taking a deeper breath she asked Casey simply, "What do you need from me?"

"Your decision." Casey handed her a blue legal breif.

Olivia took it into her hand slowly and looked at Casey, "You want me to decide if the man who raped my mother and tried to kill me should live?"

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Olivia sat in an uncomfortable chair towards the foot of Victor Lias' bed. She stared at the man who looked helpless almost innocent in spite of the evil he had commited over the last thirty-three years. Olivia carefully examined the deepest recesses of her mind for any hint of bias; there was more than she thought she had. She sat for hours weighing each one as Elliot waited in the hall for her. This was her decision, and although she had discussed the possibilities with him, her never told her what to do.

Olivia looked at the blue legal brief in front of her. She had a choice of two boxes. The first box would keep her father alive in a persistant vegitative state perhaps, for the rest of his life. The chance of him coming to, were next to none. The second would allow him to die with some sort of dignity. Not that he deserved to have that. Olivia thought it was ironic that it would be her_ name_ that would decide his fate. Her mother had called her useless, her father called her a whore, her brother called her a slut. Yet the Olivia would evoke like or death.

Olivia picked up the phone that lay next to Lias. "Please have Dr. Okopi come to ICU-Three." Hanging up the phone she peeked her head out and asked Elliot to be with her.

"I made my decision." She said as Elliot walked in to stand next to her. He didn't think it was necessary to ask her what it was.

Dr. Okopi walked into the room. "Ms. Benson?" he asked.

"I've made my decision." she said placing the blue brief on the meal tray. With one flick of the pen she decided his fate. With her signature she ensured it would be carried out. "I've chosen to error on the side of grace doctor." she handed the brief to him. "I don't want him to be alone."

The doctor opened the brief and looked at Olivia shaking his head as if to convey to her that he understood her decision. He couldn't posibly understand what it took for her to arrive at her decision. He couldn't know that she had to forfiet her own justice and pride to let a man she hated die with dignity. Olivia's signature confirmed the checkmark that was neatly placed in the second box.

Elliot slid his hand around Olivia's waist as a medical team gathered. Normally public affection would be nonexistant between the two, but he couldn't let her feel alone in her decision. Olivia broke his embrace gently and positioned her self next to Victor's bed allowing her hand to take hold of his. A motion that Elliot didn't understand. A motion that she didn't understand. She brought her lips to his ear whispering softly not sure if he could hear her. "Don't mistake my grace for weakness." Olivia straightened herself and gave a nod to the doctor to proceed.

Dr. Okopi pushed a series of buttons on the life support machine and the screen went blank. Victor Lias' chest stopped rising and falling to thy rhythm of the machine. His body convulsed slightly and in a manner of minutes a flat line accompanied with a consistant beep appeared on the only functioning monitor.

"Time of death called at 8:17pm" Okopi spoke looking at the clock above the room. As a nurse jotted down the time.

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Olivia sat in the middle of the living room. It had been a week since Victor Lias died. Cragen had gladly accepted her request for desk duty. Although, she hated riding a desk, she loved having a seven to four job. It allowed her to enjoy the simpler things in life that she always overlooked.

Extending her legs out to opposite sides of her torso she began a stretching routine that she had not been able to do in almost three months. Stretching allowed her to focus in on her thoughts. She wondered if she had done the right thing with Lias. Exhaling deeply she brought her legs closer placing the bottom of her feet together in a perfect butterfly stretch.

Elliot placed his keys on the countertop observing Olivia lost in her own thoughts. She hadn't talked at all about Lias since they left the hospital. He knew she had to have thought about it because he found himself lost in his own thoughts about that day. Elliot loosened his tie and kicked off his shoes carefull to put them in the hall closet. Olivia had taught him a thing or two about neatness.

Elliot rolled up his sleeves to his forarms and untucked his shirt as he walked into the living room. "Liv?" he called to her as she worked out a crink in her neck. Her face pointed to the ceiling as she kept her legs infront of her spread into a 'V'. Elliot lowered himself to the ground lining her legs with his own as he massaged her neck.

"Mmmm." She moaned. "Thank you." She relaxed at his touch. He was surprised at how tense and knotted her back was. She rarely complains about physical pain.

"Your tense." Elliot spoke softly. Kneading her skin Elliot kissed her getnly on her shoulder. "I love you Olivia...Just thought you should know." He kissed her again. Olivia placed her hand over his.

"Elliot." There was a seriousness that forced him to stop what he was doing and listen. "When I said that thing about you trying to save me-"

"Liv, we already went there three months ago, it's over." He kissed her.

"I didn't mean it, without you, I don't think I would have understood grace and compassion enough to let him go." She rested her hands on his thighs bowing her head.

"Do you want to talk about it Liv?" He asked hoping she was ready.

Olivia leaned against his chest pulling her knees up at a forty-five degree angle. "At first, I was going to keep him alive for the sole purpose of making him suffer." Her voice was calm. "I resented the fact that he would never be brought to justice, that he would never serve time for what he did." Olivia traced tiny circles on Elliot's leg absent mindedly. "I spent hours justifying my reasons why I could do that to him, why I had the right to make him suffer."

"What made you decide to let him go, to be with him?" Elliot rested his chin on her shoulder allowing his cheek to touch hers.

"Until I met you Elliot, I had been painfully alone. I know what that feels like and I couldn't let someone go through that...do you think that's weird?" She asked with hesitation.

"No. I think you took the high road. It must of hurt you to not see him be sentenced." His statement was more of a question.

"He's already been sentenced Elliot, by someone far more powerful than a judge or jury." Olivia took Elliot's hands and rested them on her abdomen. He caressed her softly.

"What did you whisper to him?" Elliot asked out of curiosity.

Olivia smiled to herself. "I just wanted to set the record straight between him and I."

Before Elliot could ask what that meant both suddenly froze at a curious movement within Olivia's belly. "What was that?" She asked stunned at the sensation.

Elliot found himself speechless, his hands unable to release their touch on her. "Um... I'm not sure...I think-"

The sensation returned again stronger causing both Olivia and Elliot to jump. "El, it's the baby." Olivia smiled, pulling her legs into an indian postion and turning on her tailbone to face him. She repostioned his hand on her abdomen and they smiled as they felt their baby moving for the first time.


	74. Chapter 74 A Drunken Casey

CHAPTER 74

"Liv come on were gonna be late!" Elliot was straightening his tie.

"I'm not going." Olivia hollard back.

"What! Why not?" He walked to the restroom turning the doorknob. "Liv, unlock the door honey." Elliot spoke through the door.

"No."

Elliot leaned closer to the door placing his ear next to it. "Liv, why are you crying?"

"I look ridiculous." she hollard back. "I am not going, I look awful."

"Olivia either you come out or I coming in." Elliot was growing impatient with her stubborness but, within a matter of of seconds Olivia opened the door taking a hesitant step into the bedroom.

"Oh my goodness...Liv." Elliot was floored as she walked into the room.

"I know, I told you I looked like a cow." She wiped a tear from her face.

Elliot smiled, she looked beautiful in a simple pair of black slacks and a button down maternity shirt. She managed to get sexier with each month of pregnancy. "Olivia, your six months pregnant, and your still gorgeous." He smiled brushing her auburn hair from her eyes. "Stunning." he whispered looking into her face.

After Victor Lias died Olivia spent the next three months simply enjoying life. Her new work hours allowed her to time to herself and when Elliot was home she was more relaxed, not consumed with the complications of her life.

Elliot cupped her check gently. She closed her eyes leaning into his touch, savoring it. Elliot saw her getting more and more beautiful, Olivia saw her body getting larger, her breast were huge, she wasn't sure if she thought that was necessary bad but the stretch marks made her unconfortable. The fact that Elliot still wanted to touch her made her feel desireable.

Elliot leaned in kissing her softly, sepearting her lips. The warmth of her mouth always made Elliot light headed. If he had it his way he would take her to bed right now, but she had been dying to see a movie together. They would have to drive to another city but that didn't bother them, anything to be with oneanother. As Elliot attempted to pull away Olivia leaned in following his mouth, he returned her passion with equal fervrency surprising her when he ran his toungue over her teeth. She smiled breaking from his lips.

"So, that's what that feels like?" She smiled. "Wow." She took a step back blushing.

Elliot took a liking to maternity clothes. They provided easy access to her body because she was unable to tuck them into her pants. Elliot pulled her back to him slipping his hand up her blouse. Elliot explored her curves, as he kissed her. She laughed softly at his touch, as he ran his fingertips along her spine, as Elliot moved his hand over her breast Olivia winced drawing back.

"Liv?" He was stunned, she usually loved to be touched there.

"No, I'm sorry." She blushed. "They're sore." She said adjusting her bra through her shirt.

"Oh, Liv, I'm sorry, I didn't realize." They both laughed with one another.

"Were gonna miss the movie." She smiled kissing him softly on his lips.

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"That was the worse movie I have ever seen." Elliot laughed. "Who picked this time?"

"Um, you did El." Olivia laughed as they walked with they're hands laced together.

Perhaps it was the setting sun, the beach, the fact that she was pregnant, Elliot wasn't exactly sure, but whatever it was that was allowing her to be this happy, he hoped it would always exist between one another.

Elliot brought Olivia closer to his side kissing her softly on the head. "I'm glad your happy Olivia." He smiled stopping their slow pace.

"Yeah, I am really happy Elliot." She said caressing her bulging belly. "There's just one thing that scares me." She said lowering her head.

Elliot furrowed his brows. "What? Tell me." He spoke softly.

Olivia looked up at Elliot smiling, "If this baby has your big head, I am in trouble." She laughed leaning into him for a hug. "I love you Elliot."

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Olivia's eyes fluttered open at 3:30 in the morning. Breaking free from Elliot's possesive grasp for the third time that night she made her way to the restroom. "Team CrackerJack" lay soudly asleep on their bedding.

After washing and drying her hands Olivia returned to the bed. "Liv?" Elliot called to her groggily.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." She said slidding between the sheets facing him.

"You drink a well or something?" He smiled with his eyes still closed.

Olivia caressed his face softly taking notice of the lines around his eyes. "The baby is using my bladder as a dance floor." She smiled tracing his face with her fingers. The lines weren't there before she was hit by that car and everything came tumbling down around her. The stress of her life, of having to be strong for her had taken a toll on him as well. He'd never admit it, but there were times she thought she heard him crying in his sleep, times she head him call her name out.

Olivia kissed him softly, running her hand down his bare chest. Elliot's eyes opened as her hand reached his waistband. He could see the sparkle in her eye via the pale moonlight. Elliot smiled permitting her to continue with her diabolical plan. As she caressed him gently he closed his eyes arching his back as she spoke to him.

"So, I went to the doctor yesterday after work." She spoke softly feeling him rise. "I told her I was a little uncomfortable making love because the baby was in the way." She smiled and spoke seductively "Wanna see what she suggested?"

"Well detective," Elliot spoke playfully, "I see you still know how to bend someone's will...so, tell me? What did our good doctor suggest?"

Olivia took hold of Elliot's hand leading him up from the bed. "Well," She positioned herself infront of Elliot allowing him to hold her, to grind his body inot hers. "she recommended a stand up routine." Olivia smiled sensing Elliot's delight.

"And can I-" Elliot's thoughts were stopped dead in their tracks at the sound of the doorbell and 'Team CrackerJack's' frantic barks as they raced to see who could get to the door first.

"Who's here in the middle of the night?" Elliot asked pressing his lips in thought.

"I don't know?" Olivia said grabbing her robe from the foot of the bed. "I'll go see." She drapped it around her shoulders and pulled it over her belly.

"No, Liv. I'll go, there's no telling who it is." Elliot reached for a shirt until Olivia stopped him smiling. The doorbell sounded again. "Elliot your a little too happy to be answering the door don't you think?" she asked him as she rubbed her hand over his boxer's reminding him. "Besides if it's Fin or Munch, there's no telling what they've bet this time." she laughed all ready feet from the door.

"Cracker – Jack, heel." She spoke firmly causing the beagles to sit at her feet calmly. Her knew work hours permitted her to get the little monsters help in the form of obedience school.

Olivia cautiously opened the door and was shocked to see a very drunk Casey Novak in a vomit stained shirt and jeans hunched over on the porch.

"Casey?" Olivia stepped out into the night and helped her up. "Come on honey, let's get you showered." Olivia helped her into the house and into the hall bathroom. Casey staggered to and fro before stabeling herself using Olivia, she stuggled to speak coherrantly. "Me, look at me." Her voice was queezy. "ful...fai...failurrrrr." she mummbled before lowering herself to the toilet. Casey vomited relentlessly as Olivia reached for a towel that Elliot had placed originally for her morning sickness. She handed it to Casey who accepted it.

"Stand up." Olivia spoke softly as Casey struggled to rise. "Take those clothes off. I'll get you something to sleep in." Olivia disappeared back to the bedroom.

"What's going on Liv?" Elliot asked stitting in the foot of the bed.

Olivia arched her eyebrows, "I'm not sure, El. Casey's here." she searched through her non-maternity clothes. Pulling out a shirt, unused panties and shorts.

"What does she need? It's the middle of the night Liv?" He asked finding it odd she would be at their home.

Olivia stood to her feet. "Well, apparently, she needs to sober-up." her voice was full of concern and curiosity.

"Oh, she got slammed huh?" El, laughed.

"Well, that would normally be funny except, Casey doesn't drink unless something is really wrong." Olivia bowed her head shaking it in wonderment. "She hasn't been looking good for awhile but every time I ask her what's wrong she says she's fine."

Elliot stood to her and kissed her softly on her cheek. "Go, she needs you." He smiled. "We'll pick up where we left off later." he winked as he dove back into the bed.

Olivia returned to the hall bathroom to find Casey fighting with her blouse. It seemed that while she tried to take it off she'd inadvertantly got her sleves tangled in the excess.

"Here, let me." Olivia straightend the sleeves freeing Casey. "What's going on Casey?"

Casey was fumbling for her bra strap, ignoring Olivia's question. "Why, do they button in the back? Stuuupid idea." She shook her head and then regretted the movement. "Liv, stop moving the room that's mean." She held her head and leaned against the wall.

"Casey, get out of your clothes, so I can put them in the washer, that puke is gonna set." She said, turning the water on.

After throwing Casey's clothes into a pile she helped her into the shower so she wouldn't stumble. Looking down she noticed a small scar on Casey's stomach it looked like a scar from a c-section birth. Ignoring it for now, Olivia pointed out the shampoo and towels.

Casey eventually managed the shower and walked into the living room where Olivia had just placed the last pillow on the foldout bed.

"Feel better?" Olivia asked stepping closer to Casey taking notice of her sunken eyes. She looked as though she had lost weight, her hair was wet, combed back.

Casey shook her head slowly as her eyes watered. "Liv...I..um... I am sorry I couldn't nail Lias quicker, if I had he would be in jail."

"Oh, Casey, the law ties our hands, it's better you played it by the book. I am not upset with you. I thank you." Olivia tried to reassure her.

Casey cried uncontrollably. "I tried Liv, I tried everything I knew, I should have filed for him to remain cuffed in the courtroom, I am sorry, and I am so sorry I had to asked you to decide his fate."

Olivia hugged Casey holding her tightly. "I'm glad, I heard it from a friend Casey. You don't have to carry this burden. What has been happening with you Casey? You don't look well, and we both know you rarely drink." Olivia felt Casey cringe as she broke Olivia's embrace.

'Twenty seven cases." Casey spoke somberly. "I've lost twenty seven times, forfieting the justice for the ones I promised that everything would be okay." Casey's eyes swelled again.

"And you've won hundreds of others Casey." Olivia sat with her on the bed.

Casey stared down at nothing talking without emotion. "Today was twenty-eight, she was raped by her father for thirteen years. I missed a loop hole and the defense nailed me. Mistrial. I made a mistake and this girl will never see justice because of that." Casey's eyes pooled as she tried to finish her thoughts. "I can't believe I've failed at everything I've attempted." Casey said laying her head on the pillow. Her eye lids heavy with sleep. "My babies gone and my marriage is a joke." She mummbled.

Olivia wasn't sure if she had just heard Casey correctly. They'd been friends for years and Olivia had never heard anything about her being married before and certainly there was never a conversation that illuded to her having had a baby.

"Casey?" Olivia whispered her name as she stroked her arm. She had passed out. "Okay, we'll talk tomorrow."

Olivia returned to her sleeping husband slipping as close to him as possible. Her conversation with Casey had bothered her greatly so much in fact that she needed to wake Elliot.

"El...are you asleep?" She whispered kissing him softly on his lips.

Elliot stirred, and smiled softly pulling her close to her. "Well, I was." He smiled kissing her back. He felt the uneasyness that exuded from her body. "What's wrong? Is Casey okay?" He was concerned for both.

"Yeah, she's passed out, her head is gonna explode tomorrow." Olivia's voice was tense.

"Liv? What's wrong with Casey?"

"I'm not sure, if she is just drunk or if she's serious." Olivia asked. "You know I've been friends with her for almost five years and I've never seen her date anyone." Olivia rested her head on Elliot's chest.

"Either have I, but I don't really pay attention to anything other than you." He smiled rubbing her back. "Why has her love live stressed you out all of a sudden?"

Olivia turned to look at him. "Because she just told me that her baby is gone and her marriage is a joke."


	75. Chapter 75 Sauce Monster

CHAPTER 75

Elliot dressed himself as quietly as he could as Olivia lay sleeping in the bed. As he sat on the edge of the bed placing his socks and shoes on he thought of Casey. Was it possible that she was simply drunk talking about nothing? Elliot straightened his tie as he felt Olivia embrace him from behind kissing his neck.

"Your not going to work are you? It's saturday?" Olivia asked fixing his tie from behind. It was uncanny how she could straighten his tie perfectly without seeing it, using her fingers she made an imaginary line down his chest as she placed soft kissed on his neck. She loosened and readjusted his handiwork until it was perfect using only her imaginary line and his bellybutton as a reference.

"I have paperwork, it'll be a short day unless we catch something." Elliot said turning to face her. He laid her softly on the bed kissing her as he placed his hand possessively over her belly.

"I hope William didn't keep you up too late." Elliot smiled.

"William?." Olivia made an unapproving face. "Absolutley not Stabler." She smiled pulling him close for a kiss.

"Stay with me today Elliot." She spoke in between kisses.

Elliot smiled. "Are you forgetting something? You have a very passed out friend in our living room who's gonna need you today." Elliot straightened himself standing to put on his jacket.

"I almost forgot. She is gonna be so hung over." Olivia shook her head.

"Hey," Elliot took her hand pulling her up to him from the bed. Her camisole was no longer capable of hiding her belly. It crumpled between her breast and her buldging belly. "She's lucky to have you as a friend Liv, she'll be fine." He kissed her forehead. "She's in good hands."

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It was nearing one O'clock in the afternoon and Casey still lay sleeping on the pull out sofa Olivia prepared for her.

"Casey," Olivia sat softly on the edge of the bed attempting to wake her. "Casey, wake up honey." She shoke her softly until she stirred. "Casey, come on, lunch is on the table for you."

Casey stuggled to open her eyes and once they were a look of complete confusion rushed over her face. She sat up sharply and then grabbed her head. "Ahh, what the – my head." She grabbed her temple and then furrowed her eyes at Olivia. Looking around the living room she was trying to figure out how she ended up in her bestfriends house, wearing clothes that weren't hers. "Olivia?" She asked wincing as she felt her head ready to burst.

"Take these." Olivia handed her two excedrin and a glass of water.

Casey finished the water handing it back to Olivia. "Thanks."

"Hungry?" Olivia asked. "I haven't eaten today and the baby is expressing his frustration with me." Olivia smiled. "Here's your clothes. I think the stain came out pretty well."

"Stain? Why do you have my clothes?" Casey asked confused.

"Casey...you don't remember last night?" Olivia asked equally frustrated. How could she broach the subject of Casey's confession's if she couldn't even remember why she came to Olivia's home.

"No, some...not really." Casey took a second and then tossed her self back on the bed half wishing she hadn't when her head protested. "Oh, how embrassing, I was drunk wasn't I?"

"Oh, yeah." Olivia laughed trying to ease the moment. She pulled Casey back up. "Come on Sauce Monster, get dressed, get some food in you."

"Your cooking?" Casey asked. "You know how to cook?" She stood slowly holding her head and grimacing. "Ohhhhhh, bad move." She mummbled.

"Well, you know, cook...open a can...it's all the same." Olivia laughed shrugging her shoulders.

Within minutes Casey returned dressed in her original clothing. Her normally tight jeans, were looser than normal, confirming Olivia's observations that she was loosing weight. She sat at the table as Olivia placed a glass pitcher of orange juice on the table.

"Whatever it is, it smells good." Casey spoke careful not to speak too loudly.

"Chorizo and egg." Olivia smiled placing a mound on Casey's plate. "It's comfort food." Olivia spoke as she returned the now empty pan to the kitchen and ran water over it and then reclaimed her seat at the dinner table.

"Comfort food?" Casey asked. "What's to be comforted?" She asked smiling as she looked for a fork.

"You, and what are you looking for Casey?" Olivia asked filling her glass with juice.

"A fork, to eat the comfort food." She smiled.

Olivia opened a piece of folded foil and pulled out a flour tortilla tossing it into Casey's plate. "There ya go."

"What am I suppose to do with this?" She picked it up, confused, "What is this again?" she was growing frustrated. "And why do you think I need to be comforted?"

Olivia smiled. "Casey, First of all, no Spanish Inquisition okay? It's me. Second tare the tortilla like this." Olivia demonstrated. "Hold it between your fingers and pick up the Chorizo."

"The _who_?" Casey asked tearing the tortilla and manipulating it as Olivia instructed.

"Trust me Casey, it's one of the best things you'll ever taste, and I think you need to be comforted because you showed up on my door step at three O'clock in the morning drunk." Olivia spoke softly taking a drink of her juice as she watched for Casey's reaction.

Casey placed the manipulated tortilla in her mouth closing her eyes as she savored the flavor. "Wow, your right it's good, and I am sorry for barging in on you Liv, I'm not sure I know what I was thinking." Her voice suddenly fragile.

"Casey, I'm not upset, I'm glad you thought of our home as safe, but, can I ask you something?" Olivia tested the waters.

"What?" Casey starred down into the red mound in her plate.

"You don't normally drink, what happened?"

Casey stalled. "Nothing, I guess, I just had a hard day at the office."

Olivia saw her opportunity and took it before Casey could realize what she'd done. "Yeah, that's what you said last night." She continued as if she were making casual conversation.

"Excuse me?" Casey swallowed her half masticated food experiencing pain as it made it's way down her throat.

"Casey," Olivia pushed the plate away from her. "It's okay, you can tell me anything, you know that right?" She asked reassuring a now peeked Casey. "We all take the cases we lose to heart Casey but you should never feel like a failure."

Casey narrowed her eyes and spoke slowly, "What exactly did I tell you Olivia."

Olivia sat back in her chair and took a breath. "You kept refering to yourself as a failure, apologized about Lias, which, I want you understand is not necessary. I don't see you as a failure, I see you as a fighter Casey."

"Well, if you knew everything, you'd see me differently." Casey's eyes swelled.

"So, why don't you let me in?" Olivia asked offering an open ear.

Casey crumpled her napkin tossing it on the table as she leaned back in her chair. "Have you ever made a bad move that you couldn't take back?" Casey asked starring at her crumpled napkin.

Olivia let out a small laugh, "Yeah, it's called getting out of bed." She was always able to communicate with Casey they understood eachother, understood their need for joking when they dealt with things too personal.

Casey, smiled softly, "No, really, have you ever made a move that you've regretted your entire life?" A single tear threatened to fall from her eye.

Olivia shook her head, "Yeah, I regret not telling Elliot about my past sooner. I think it would have saved him a lot of unneeded stress." Olivia had finally verbalized what she could never put her finger on, it was a nagging feeling that tormented her. She'd always felt bad for being so closed off to Elliot in the beginning of their relationship. Even now she had to will herself not to close off at times.

"Olivia, about two months ago, I was served with papers." Casey wiped the tear as it fell.

"What case?" Olivia asked knowing that Casey was alwasys being handed legal briefs.

"My divorce." Casey took a breath as she ran her index finger along the brim of her glass.

Olivia could see the pain in Casey's face and, although she was shocked she made every effort not to telegraph her emotions. "You never mentioned a marriage."

"Yeah, well, the first year we met you weren't exactly my friend." Casey and Olivia both smiled remembering what a brat Casey was. "I wasn't transferred to SVU by choice, I was comprimising." She pressed her lips together struggleing to keep her composure.

"Compromising what?" Olivia's voice was soft welcoming her to open up.

"I was assigned to homicide division. My case load was insane. My husband wanted me to quit, I wouldn't, not even wh-" Casey's chin quivered.

Olivia changed seats from the one across from Casey to the one beside her. She pulled the chair closer to her as she spoke. "Go ahead Casey."

"After two misscarriages I found myself finally seven months pregnant. Paul and I were exstatic. I was assigned to prosecute a triple murder case. The stress was intense." Casey ran her fingers through her hair. "Paul asked me to pass the case to someone else or at the least sit second chair. The doctor's said that the misscarriages were caused by the stress. They warned me again but I thought being seven months along I was out of the woods."

Olivia sat quietly allowing Casey to gather her thoughts.

"I was a rising ADA, had never lost a case, I thought this would be the one that could get my name out there, you know?" She looked briefly at Olivia who's eyes spoke only compassion. "I was so full of myself I couldn't even sit second chair." She shook her head. "I collapsed during my closing arguments and went into premature labor."

Casey's eyes spewed uncontrolable tears as Olivia covered her hand with her own. "Let it out Casey, it's okay to hurt." Olivia was oddly surprised at ther own words. They were the very words Elliot spoke over her time and time again. Was it possible she was starting to believe it?

"There was one complication after another, they did an emergency C-section but Sarah died before they could get her out." She tried franticaly to erase her tears but they kept coming. "The doctor's contributed it to stress. Paul dispised me, blammed me, and eventualy filed for legal seperation."

"Did you ever try to work it out with him?" Olivia asked.

"We reconciled briefly when I came to SVU. My case load was a little lighter. Things seemed to be going well but..." Casey furrowed her brows as she started to pick pieces of the tortilla off allowing them to fall to the plate. "Sex crimes." Casey rested her head on her palm.

"Messed with your head?" Olivia asked. She'd heard other SVU detectives say that the nature of their jobs sometimes made it very difficult to make love to their spouses. Between the long hours, lack of sleep and horrific crimes SVU detectives had next to no libido. Except, it seemed, her and Elliot, the more she thought of their relationship the happier she was that she waited for him, she was blessed that he chose her.

"There were times he would try to touch me and I would literaly jump out of the bed." Casey took a deep breath setteling her nerves. Eventualy Paul couldnt't take it anymore and he left again. I got the final papers awhile ago. Their waiting on my signature."

"What have you thought about doing Casey?" Olivia asked trying to get a hold of Casey's train of thought.

"I don't have a choice. I have a full load right now, theres no time to try and hash it out, I don't even know where he is, the address is withheld from the divorce papers." Casey looked at Olivia who remained silently listening.

"Oh, Liv, I am sorry." Casey said placing her hand on Olivia's.

"Sorry? For what?" Olivia was confused as to why she should be sorry.

"Well, here I am boo hooing about my pathetic problems when you and Elliot have been slammed over and over, what with Lias and Victor and now with the Morris Commision summons against Captain Cragen, I am sorry."

Olivia could have sworn that her heart skipped two maybe three beats. "Casey – what did you just say about the Morris Commision?" She asked hoping Casey had misspoken. The Morris Commision was a board that dealt with disciplinary actions within the N.Y.P.D the very mention of the Morris Commision brought about a feeling synonomous wth Internal Affairs. A summons to come in front of the Morris Commision was bad news.

Casey realized immediately that she spoke to soon. "Oh, I'm sorry Liv, Cragen said he was going to tell you last week."

Olivia blinked shocked. "He never mentioned anything. What's going on?"

"Olivia, there was a complaint filed against you and Elliot." Casey spoke surprised that Olivia was clueless in the matter.

"What!" Olivia shook her head slightly. "What complaint?"

"More of an informative letter than a complaint I guess, but it let the brass know you and Elliot were married." Casey spoke somberly, knowing Olivia was gonna hit the roof.

"What!" Olivia was unable to find any other words. In a matter of seconds both her and Elliot's jobs were put on the line. "Why weren't we summons before the Commision?"

"Liv, they came for you and Elliot, demanding your badges." Casey knew Olivia was paniced. She tried to sooth her, but the bombshell was too much.

"I never saw the Morris Commision." Olivia shook her head still shocked.

"Exactly." Casey's voice suggested more.

"Excuse me?"

"You never saw the Morris Commision because they had to inform Cragen they would be placing you both on unpaid leave, they explained why and Cragen told them he sanctioned you're relationship." Casey took another sip of juice, her throat was tense.

"Why would he do that?" Olivia screeched knowing her may have just sacrificed his own career for theirs.

"Liv? Isn't it obvious? He see's you and Elliot as his kids. He'd do anything he could for you two." Casey rose to her feet. "I'm sorry Olivia, I thought you knew, I didn't-"

"Hey, Casey, it's fine, you have a lot on your plate right now. Promise me something?" Olivia asked as she walked with Casey to the front door.

"Sure, what?" Casey smiled relieved that Olivia hadn't had a coronary with the news.

"Don't ever drink and drive again." Olivia's voice was stern as she tossed Casey's keys to her. "You left your car running, Elliot locked it up."

Casey blushed with embrassment, "Stupid move." She admitted.

"Yeah it was, but, promise me something else?" Olivia asked as she opened the door for her guest. "Promise me you'll give Paul a call before you sign those papers?"

Casey adjusted her stance shaking her head but making no audible agreement as she turned to leave.

"Casey one more thing." Casey stopped and turned to her bracing for more 'Paul Promises".

"Yeah?"

"Who'd that letter come from?" Olivia bit her lip hoping there wasn't still someone hunting her, watching her every move.

Casey exhaled deeply, she wished she would have kept her mouth shut this morning. Casey looked Olivia in the eye clearing her throat before speaking. "It came from Nick Ganzner."


	76. Chapter 76 You swing like a girl

CHAPTER 76

Olivia sat on the couch arms folded as she bit her lip. "Why didn't Cragen say anything?" she thought to herself. "I wonder if Elliot knows and just didn't say anything. How did Ganzner know Elliot and I were married?"

As, if the mere thought of Elliot had beckoned him home the front door opened.

"Liv? Get dressed, let's go get dinner." Elliot said shedding his shoes and working on his tie.

Olivia remained seated not sure of how to raise the subject that they may be standing in an unemployment line soon. Elliot approached a pensive Olivia and kised her gently on the mouth following her neck line. "So," he whispered as he laid her body down gently. "I thought, we could finish what we started, after dinner, I made reservations at Chandra's"

Olivia took a deep breath. "Better cancel 'em"

Elliot sat up slowly confusion in his face. "It's one of your favorites."

"I am aware of that, but I need to talk to you." She pushed herself up still sitting close.

"What's up?" he asked placing his hand on her thigh.

"Has Cragen talked to you about anything?" Olivia asked searching his face for any indication he may be trying to withhold the news.

"No, why? What's up?" He asked furrowing his brows. He wasn't withholding information.

"I talked to Casey today, she had a slip of the tongue." Olivia spoke carefully, not wanting to expose Casey's personal problems in the heat of the moment.

Elliot twitsted his lips sensing no good was going to come from what Olivia was going to say. "What sort of slip of the tongue?" His voice was tense with expectation.

"Apparently, Cragen has been summoned before the Morris commission." Olivia tried to break the news softly but was surprised to see Elliot laughing.

"Is that all Liv?" Elliot smiled rolling his sleeves up.

"What do you mean 'is that all'?" She asked confused. "You knew he had been summonsed?" She stood following him to the kitchen.

"Liv, he's summonsed every other week for briefings and a bunch of other little crap." He opened the refridgerator.

Olivia narrowed her eyes at him. "You don't know do you?" She asked softly, realizing that Elliot didn't have the foggiest idea what was happening.

"Know what?" He asked closing the refridgerator and pouring a glass of juice.

"Well, what do you know?" She asked, not wanting to be the one dropping the bomb, if he knew she was gonna pull it out of him no matter how hard the feat.

Elliot pulled her close kissing her softly on the mouth. "I know that your beautiful." Olivia rolled her eyes smiling. "I know that you still make me nervous when you walk into the room." He attempted to kiss her again but was stopped when she pulled away.

"Elliot! Come on this is serious." She braced her self on one side of the island countertop.

"Alright, well, tell me what the big secret is." He mimicked her stance on the other side of the counter, still more concerned with her lips than her news.

"The Morris Commission got wind of us." She blurted out.

"As they should, our solve rate is through the roof. What medal are we up for?" Elliot took a drink of his juice.

"Probably the kind at the end of a shovel so we can dig our own graves Stabler." She folded her arm and struck 'the' pose. Elliot swallowed hard starring. "Elliot, they could care less about our solve rate, all they know is that were partner's and were _married_."

"What?" Elliot could barely get the word out. "How did they find out? You never changed your name, we don't even touch oneanother in the city...wait...did Casey say something?" Elliot was getting angry.

Olivia approached him placing her hands on his arms in a soothing motion. "Elliot, no, Casey would never betray us, but there was a letter written by someone who has it in for me."

"Who? No one knows." Elliot said calming himself by caressing her waist as if the presence of her body against his was a numbing agent to any anger.

Olivia bit her lip before speaking "Well, apparently, Nick Ganzner does."

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"Detectives Stabler and Benson." Elliot spoke showing his badge to the correctional officer at the counter.

"May I help you?" The young guard asked.

"Yeah," Olivia flipped through a note book pretending to find a name as if it were a new assignment. "We need to speak to an inmate, a Nick Ganzner."

"Ah, the human punching bag." The guard chuckeled to himself as he took their service weapons and locked them in a locker.

"What do you mean by that?" Olivia asked.

"You'll know when you see him, someone started a rumor that he was a child molester, he's been segregated since the last beating." The guard placed a phone call and handed Elliot and Olivia visitor badges.

They waited anxiously for the guards to bring Ganzner into the interview area.

"So, he got thumped huh?" Elliot asked trying to pass the time.

"He deserved it." She tapped her pencil on the metal table.

"Wow, condoning violence are we?" Elliot spoke sarcastically.

"Well, he was a terrible kisser." She smiled

Elliot attempted to ask what she thought of him when Ganzner was brought through the doors.

"Wow, Nicky." Olivia said starring at his bruised face. "Purple doesn't suit you."

Ganzner sat down slowly, "Yeah, well, being a mother doesn't suit you but I make due...I thought for sure you would have gotten rid of it."

Olivia smiled. "What kills you more Nicky? The fact that I want the baby or the fact that I didn't want you?"

"Wwll what do you want Ice Princess?" He asked irritated with her comment.

"A letter was written." Olivia cut to the chase.

Elliot leaned in. "You wouldn't happen to know who wrote it now would you?" Elliot asked fecitiously.

"What's it worth to you?" Ganzner asked smiling as he conveyed his request for leanancy.

"Curiosity kills the cat." Olivia shrugged her shoulders. "Were just curious how you knew."

"Prison kills the prisioner, I am just curious if I can get some time shaved." he leaned back into his chair placing the ball in their court.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders and took a deep breath. "My friend is the ADA, I'll see what I can do." She lied. There was no way she was going to do anything positive on his behalf.

Ganzner leaned forward, "When I was in your house, I took a look around. Not sure what I was looking for until I saw it."

"And what did you see?" Elliot asked.

"Men's clothing in the closet, that's unusual for the Ice Princess." He smiled talking to Elliot and looking at Olivia who was starting to grow irritated with the phrase. "A man's razor and shaving cream on the counter, but oddly no pictures of the mystery man." Ganzner leaned back in his chair with a pensive look on his face.

"Now, why would there be no pictures of a happy couple?" He asked starring at Elliot and Olivia who both tried to follow his reasoning. "There's only one suitable reason that I could think of...she doesn't want anyone to know." He smiled.

"That still doesn't prove it's my partner." Olivia tried to throw him off the scent. His information wasn't conclusive, more speculatory than anything.

"No, but after I found the pregnancy test, I helped myself to a glass of water; tell me something, who's idea is it to place the medicine in the kitchen?" Ganzner smiled looking at Elliot. "Did those antibiotics work for you Mr. Stabler?"

Elliot narrowed his eyes. Half relieved that it wasn't survellance or another freak stalking Olivia that provided him with the information. "I can see your panzy face so I am gonna go with yeah, they worked great."

"So, you read the prescription bottle, huh Ganzner? You went to college for that? Sounds like a waste." Olivia smiled. "Why didn't you tell Oliver?" She asked more out of curiousity.

"It's all about leverage Ice Princess, I thought it would come in handy, and what do you know, turns out it's my ticket out of here." He smiled.

Olivia smiled, "Guard! We're through here." Elliot stood to his feet walking through the door first when the guard opened it. Olivia was at the threshold when Ganzner spoke.

"Come on Ice Princess, work a deal for your old friend Nicky." He smiled.

Olivia turned her head to face him. "We're not friends Nicky."

Ganzner stood to his feet charging to her, "I'll beat you into the middle of next week." He took a swing just as Olivia turned. She darted her head back narrowly missing his fist and waited for the second blow that followed. Before Elliot was not allowed to reenter the room, as the guard moved in to stop the attack. Olivia grabbed Ganzner's forearm applying pressure in a reverse manuver allowing her to grab the back of his hair. She slammed him over the table. "And I"ll have your balls in a blender by Thursday."

"Let me go you cold bi -"

Olivia slammed his head and applied more pressure to his arm. "Finish that sentence and I'll show you what leverage is all about." Olivia let him go and smiled as she walked to the door meeting with an anxious Elliot. "I might be pregnant Nicky, but you still swing like a girl."


	77. Chapter 77 Meet Paul Novak

CHAPTER 77

Olivia sat at her desk eyeing the clock. "Twenty-five minutes to the door." She smiled to herself. Elliot already had the pleasure of going home for the day after he started work at three O'clock in the morning. Olivia had anticipated talking to Cragen today but he was out of the office, she would have to postpone until tomorrow.

Olivia took the next file off of her stack of papers opening it to the first page. The handwritting was nearly illegible. "Ah, Elliot's." She smiled to herself. She'd learn to dicipher his encrypted writing over time but it still hurt her head to try. Olivia looked at the clock once more. "Ten minutes baby."

"Hey Liv," Fin called as he entered the court room.

"What's up?" She asked squenting at the handwritting it was worse than normal.

Fin made his way to her desk. "Remember the Stephens case?" he asked apologetically.

Olivia sat back in her chair tossing her pencil on the desk. "Yeah, the verdict is due any day."

"It just came in." He shook his head regretfully.

"No, no way Fin that case was solid."

"I know it was, but apparently the Jury didn't think so." Fin tapped his knuckel on Olivia's desk looking away from her.

"What?" Olivia asked sensing there was more.

"Casey was prosecuting...she's gone Olivia." Fin pursed his lips.

"Well, she feels bad, I'll stop by her house." Olivia said standing to her feet.

"No, I don't think you understand what I mean, Liv, she is gone. Her keys and wallet are still in her office, cellphone, everything...except her."

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After two hours no one managed to turn up Casey Novak. Olivia had thought of everyplace she'd known Casey to frequent. The cashier at Coffeheads hadn't seen her, no one in the park where they normally ran had seen her, the gym turned up no such luck.

"Olivia she's a big girl, she can take care of herself." Munch tried to calm her.

"No, John, she can't, not right now." Olivia suddenly had an idea as she leaned to her desk to use her computer.

"What do you mean?" Munch sensed a conspiracy, something being withheld from him.

"Haven't you noticed, she looks like hell?" Olivia spoke vaguely trying to keep guard of Casey's confessions.

"Not really." Munch took a sip of his coffee.

"Typical." Olivia asked pressing the enter key on her keyboard. "Got it." She exclaimed, walking to the printer and grabbing a piece of paper. "C-ya." she told Munch. "I'll call if I find her."

Olivia started the mustang, slipping it into reverse. As she backed the vehicle out he glanced down at the back seat, remembering there were no seatbealts for the back. She thought shortly of how she would buckel a car seat, then manipulated the car into first heading for her destination.

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Olivia pulled her vehicle as close to the curb as possible looking for the correct house. She walked quickly up the stairs and rang the door bell. The house was huge, placed smack dab in the suburbs. Olivia was taking notice of the porch deck, it appeared to have just been refinished, when the door opened.

"May I help you?" A neither deep nor high pitch voice voice answered. Olivia found the voice soothing much like Christopher Walken's.

"Hi, I am Olivia Benson, I am looking for Paul Novak." She absentmindedly placed her hand on her bulging belly, causing Paul's eyes to widen. Olivia let out a small laugh. "Don't worry, it's not yours." She smiled hoping to break the ice.

Paul Novak blushed with embarassement. He ran his hand through his blond hair and then closed the book he was reading. "I am sorry, do I know you?" he asked politely.

"Well, no, not exactly, I am a good friend of Casey's." Olivia said watching his expression closely. His pupils dialated, a sign of affection. He tried to withold a smile at the mention of her name but the corners danced to much for him to cover up his obvious love for Casey.

"Come in, please." He asked opening the door wider. He placed the book on the coffee table as Olivia sat down. "Would you like something to drink?" He asked.

"Water please." She responded looking around the house. His taste was impecable, modern and sleek. Olivia read the title of the book he had been reading. 'The joy of Pharmecutical Engineering.' _Wow, Casey married a nerd_. Olivia thought to herself as she smiled.

Paul returned handing a glass of water to Olivia who graciously accepted it. "Thank you Mr. Novak." She smiled

"Please call me Paul." He said sitting across from Olivia. He took a deep breath, "Is she okay?" His voice was bleak as he struggled to withold his tears.

"Um, I don't know, we can't find her Paul." Olivia said somewhat confused. This was the man who filed for divorce yet he struggle to hold back tears at the mere mention of Casey's name. Olivia flipped the detective switch.

"Paul, um, it's none of my business but Casey, it hasn't been doing well, she said she got divorce papers in the mail."

"Yeah." He shook his head. "We've been seperated for almost eight years, we've tried to work it out off and on but she hates me." he lowered his head.

"What?" Olivia furrowed her eyes. "Are you kidding? Casey was at my house yesterday, and believe me when I tell you she does not hate you."

"Ms. Benson." He started.

"Olivia please." she protested.

"Olivia, Casey loaths my touch, loaths me." he crossed his legs starring at the floor. "We had two misscarriages and I blamed her for both. If I could take back that night I would. She never forgave me for it."

"What night?" Olivia asked, remembering Casey made no mention of it.

"After our second baby died we tried to get back on track but even after a year she couldn't make love to me, she never wanted to get pregnant again. She never wanted to feel that pain." Paul took his glassses off and pinched the bridge of his nose as Olivia listened quietly. "I was young and such a jerk, I thought she should have bounced back sooner, I accused her of having an affair." He bowed his head in shame.

"She left homicide and tried to work it out with you, what happened?" Olivia asked resting her head on her hand.

"He work load was lighter but the nature of her job made her bitter."

"What do you mean?"

"She couldn't even allow me to hold her, she hated to be touched, she stopped believing in love. You can only be pushed away so many times before you won't come back again." Paul wiped a fallen tear. Apparently Casey married a very sensitive individual who was obviously still in love with her.

"Why did you file for divorse?" She questioned.

"I needed it to be final. It's miserable to always think there is a possibility of being with the one you love. I needed to let her go."

"Do, you know where she is?" Olivia asked sensing she had torn off an old scab.

"With Casey, it all depends. I know her like the back of my hand...I just wasn't good enough...what pushed her away?" He asked regaining his composure.

"She lost a case...she seems to be having a dry spell." Olivia pressed her lips together.

"She's a sore loser," he smiled. "Tenacious woman, can't stand to loose."

"That's her." Olivia smiled, apparently she hadn't changed much at all. "Paul, I need to find her." She spoke more urgent. "She's been upset."

"About what?" He asked concerned.

"Paul...she's in love with you, I think you both have some serious things to get through but let me tell you something, I just got married, I am pregnant and I am the last person that I would have expected that to happen...my husband stuck it out with me and even now when I try to push him away, he never even flinches. She wants to be with you." Olivia spoke softly trying to bring some encouragement.

"How do you know?" He asked searching for some sort of validation.

"Because, when she talked about you she had the same look of longing that you have." Olivia watched as he took in her information. "Do, you know of anywhere she would be?" Olivia questioned again.

Paul took a deep breath. "When she loses cases she goes to the baby's grave. Memorial Gardens, every week and every time she looses a case, that's where she'll be."

Olivia stood to her feet as Paul walked her to the door. "Please be carefull." he told Olivia motioning to her belly.

Olivia smiled and then stopped to turn to him. "Paul, like I said, it's not my business but please...reconsider the divorce."

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Olivia dialed Elliot's cellphone as she headed for Memorial Gardens.

"Hey sweetie, were you sleeping?" she asked when she heard his voice.

"Sleeping? Nah, I was dreaming of you." He spoke causing her to blush in the privacy of her own vehicle.

"Hey, I might be even later than I anticipated." her voice was apologetic.

"Oh, man, I had big plans for tonight." He seemed disapointed.

"Oh, yeah? What did you have in mind?" her voice was seductive.

"Sweetheart, I guess you'll just have to come home and find out, Love you." He said and abruptly hung up. Olivia absolutely hated it when he did that. He peeked her interest just enough to arouse her and then cut her off enjoying her torture.

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Olivia parked her car next to a meter. She scrummaged through her car looking for change but only managed to find a book of stamps that had fallen through the seat. Olivia opened the glove box reverting to 'Plan B' as she called it. Olivia stepped out of the car and placed the small paper sack over the meter. She smiled reading the "Out of Order" notice she hand written on it. It always worked, and it always made her laugh.

Olivia searched the cemetrary quickly observing every moving individual. She finaly spotted Casey bent over infront of a slab of granite. Olivia approached her slowly watching her sob on her knees, she buried her face in her hands allowing her body to heave.

Olivia crouched beside her. "Casey, honey, come here." She placed her arm around her pulling her close.

"I can't do it Liv, I don't want to be alone anymore." Casey sobbed.

Olivia held her closer. "It's okay Casey, go ahead and cry, I am right here."


	78. Chapter 78 The Morris Commission

CHAPTER 78

Had someone told Olivia three years ago that she would be encouraging a couple to reconcile based on love, she would have scoffed and confidently proclaimed that there was no such thing as love. However, here she was kneeling at the grave of her best friend's baby holding her as she cried and confessed her loneliness, the bitter pain that she felt and the never ending torment of never working through the problems she had with her husband, Paul.

"I want my baby back Olivia." Casey wept bitterly.

"I know you do honey, I know." Olivia hated that there was nothing she could do to ease her pain, there was no magic phrase, no special words, the only thing she could offer was a shoulder and a listening ear.

Casey straightened herself looking to the headstone of her daughter. "She would have been nine this year." she whispered as her chin trembled. "I was so selfish." She shook her head.

Olivia placed her hand on Casey's thigh. "Casey, don't you dare blame yourself for this." Olivia spoke with the same firm love that Elliot had taught her. "Things happen, and I am not saying that it's all fair, but we don't have control of the world honey."

"But if I would have at least sat second chair she might be here." Casey's eyes welled.

"Casey, we can play coulda, woulda, shoulda all day long and it won't fix your pain. I don't know what it feels like to loose your baby but I do know that love wins out but only if you let it." Olivia smiled softly searching her face. "It is absolutely not your fault Casey." She told her again.

"Then why do I feel so terrible? I wish I was dead Liv." Casey covered her face weeping again.

Olivia rubbed her back trying to sooth her agony, "You have to give yourself grace Casey. Your punishing yourself, and you need to stop sweetie." Olivia's voice was at a near whisper.

"I'm so alone." Casey shook her head and absentmindedly straightened the teddy bear that sat by the headstone.

Olivia placed her hand on Casey's shoulder speaking comforting. "That's not true. Elliot and I love you like your family...you are family to us Casey." She wrapped her arm around Casey embracing her. "Your loved by all of us Casey, your stuck with us." Olivia let out a small laugh. "And unfortunately that includes Munch and Fin." she smiled as the corners of Casey's mouth turned upward just slightly.

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Olivia repeated the habit of taking her boots off as soon as she stepped into the house. It was nearing eleven O'clock in the evening and the house was pitch black save the soft blue illumination of the television set. Olivia tiptoed closer, observing Elliot as he slept peacefully on the couch with two of the laziest beagles Olivia had laid eyes on snuggled close to him. Cracker opened one eye as Olivia stepped closer, Jack soon followed and both jumped off the couch when Olivia gave the hand single for 'outside'. Olivia walked with them to the back door and whispered softly, "Outside boys, go play" and quietly closed the door after 'Team CrackerJack' exited.

Happily, Olivia returned to the living room expecting to find Elliot and instead found an empty couch. Disappointed he'd left so soon, she gently called for him. "Elliot?" she walked down the hall and into the bedroom. "Elliot? Where are you?" She called again when he wasn't in the bed. She walked to her nightstand, facing the corner she took off her watch and placed it near the alarm clock.

Olivia spoke as she pulled her shirt over her head. "El? Come on, wher-" Olivia jumped feeling Elliot's large hands over her belly. "There you are." She whispered dropping her shirt. "Why didn't you answer?" She asked turning to face him.

"I wanted to watch you change, but I couldn't help myself, I needed to touch you." There was that word again. His face was entirely serious as he grazed his hand across her cheek. Olivia let the sensation of his hand against her face recharge her body. The day had been bitter but Elliot's touch was sweet. She exhaled a shaky breath that caught both of them by surprise.

"You okay Liv?" Elliot searched her face, the tears that rested there, threatened to fall.

She laughed gently, "Yeah, I don't know why I am crying...it's..."

"What?" he whispered brushing her hair away and tucking it behind her ear, she was gorgeous.

"It's your touch...the way you touch me..." A tear escaped.

"Am I hurting you?" Elliot whispered withdrawing his hand from her face not knowing if it was possible that he'd hurt her, he was being as gentle as possible, but she was pregnant, and pregnant women might glow, but their not always sane.

Olivia smiled at his innocence, "No." she took his hand and replaced it to her cheek closing her eyes. "Your touch makes me feel loved and desired...it's an amazing feeling."

Elliot smiled, "Liv?" He asked tracing her lips with his thumb.

"Mmmmm." She murmured.

"What's it like to make love to me?"

Olivia's eyes darted open, searching his face for seriousness or laughter at such a pointed question but, neither were there. A yearning to know, and she swore, a hint of inadaquacie stained his eyes.

She wrapped her arm around his neck and kissed him softly, "When I go through the day, I can't breath," She kissed him again allowing her tongue to graze his lips. "I feel like I am about to die and then you touch me and it's like taking breath for the first time."

Olivia arched her neck to kiss him again as she slowly unbuttoned his shirt. She ran her hands over his abdomen and broke the kiss for air. "Your body's warmth against mine let's me know I can feel again." she smiled as Elliot pulled her close nuzzling his nose against her's placing hesitant kisses on her mouth. He withdrew his lips resting his head against hers.

Olivia brought her mouth to his ear and whispered, "When you call out my name, I feel like I'm the center of your world." she brushed her lips against his jaw line kissing a trail back to his mouth. "When you hold me, I am not afraid anymore." she whispered only centimeters from his mouth.

Elliot smiled at the confidence Olivia possessed, at the new outlook on life she'd taken since finding out she was pregnant. He looked at her searching her face as he ran his fingertips down her sides. He kissed her softly. "Thank you." was all he could offer when he broke the kiss.

Olivia smiled. "What's wrong? Your shaking."

Elliot furrowed his brows, but remained close, unwilling to let her go. "I was worried, I wasn't a good enough lover to you." he lowered his eyes but brought her closer.

Her eyes widened at his confession. He never ceased to amaze her, he was always so concerned that her needs be met emotionally, and now, it seemed, physically. "Elliot," His name was spoken softly from her lips. "Your an amazing lover," she blushed at her own remark "When you make love to me, I can't even begin to tell you what you do to me." She spoke to him reassuring him. She thought it was funny or perhaps more ironic, that, as strong as he was, as macho a role as he played, his heart was incredibly tender and he willingly allowed her to hold it.

"Olivia." He whispered her name into existence. "Do you want to know?" he pushed one bra strap down.

"What?" She asked a little confused.

"What it's like to make love to you." he whispered causing her to take a step back. "I don't know." She spoke honestly, she was scared. It wasn't like she had tons of practice in the area of making love, he'd been the only one.

Elliot smiled at her nervousness. "Now, your shaking." He pushed the other strap down.

"Believe me." He whispered to her, "You want to know." He ran his fingers along her spine passing her bra strap and tracing the feminine muscles of her shoulder blades. He kissed her as softly as he touched her. Her breath against his face as she struggled for air was warm and fragile.

Gently he unhooked her bra stepping back to see her breasts. He smiled, and stepped closer running his hand through her hair. "Every time I see you, my heart skips, when your next to me I know I can do anything." He gently grazed her breasts remembering how he'd hurt her the last time he touched her. He kissed them softly enjoying the smell of her perfume, the taste of her skin. "When I am inside of you, nothing else exists except you Liv." He returned to her mouth as he unbuttoned her jeans. He smiled remembering the fuss she made at absolutely having to have a pair that buttoned. No elastic, that was her only rule.

He slowly placed his hands inside of her waistband and moved to the back caressing her softly as he pushed her pants and panties down. "When I feel your body, see your curves and peaks its like a new discovery every time." he held her naked body close allowing her to step out of her pants and panties.

Olivia manipulated her fingers gently undoing his belt as she kissed him. Unzipping his pants she softly bit at his bottom lip and then sucked on it to sooth the sting as his pants and boxers hit the ground. Both smiled at the sound of the belt buckle slamming into the hardwood floor.

"Did you still want to show me that stand up routine?" Elliot smiled as he rubbed himself against her leg. She smiled taking hold of him and stroking gently, without saying a word. She moistened his head with the small droplets that had already made it's presence known. Returning the favor Elliot gently inserted two fingers into her smiling at her moisture. "Your ready already?" he kissed her softly as she playfully hit him in his chest.

"At the first sight of you." She spoke honestly.

"Really?" He was surprised.

"Every time." She blushed.

"Intriguing." he whispered searching inside of her with his fingers as she stroked him. Elliot walked her to the closest wall kissing her deeper as if he were making love only to her mouth. Once Elliot was confident he could succeed in his mission he covered her hand with his, forcing her to stop. He withdrew his fingers paying no attention to her protest as he turned her to face the wall, she rested her cheek against the cool paint.

Elliot placed himself against her, feeling the warmth of her tone backside. He ran his fingers along her arms, a trail of cool moisture left behind from his moist fingers. He positioned her hands over her head against the wall and traced the contours of her body down to her hips.

Taking hold he slowly entered her front from behind, her appreciation voiding her previous protests. Elliot covered her hands with his own, interlacing his fingers with hers as he moved within her, he felt her body contract against him, choking him and at the same time encouraging him.

Olivia let out a surprise moan as he tapped and then stayed at her cervix rubbing more aggressively with each thrust, her moans, the pleasure in her face spurring him on. He walked backwards still inside her, still tangled with her fingers. He lowered himself and a pleading Olivia onto the edge of the bed. She moved over him as she sat on his lap, plummeting him deeper within her. Elliot locked his elbows behind him for leverage and watched as she moved her hips forward and back pleasuring him as he pleasured her.

She moaned as he pushed deeper, and as Elliot saw her come closer and closer to climax he weaved there hands back together, his over hers and took her into an embrace, letting her move, letting her moan.

Over the months they had learned to read the cues from one another's bodies, Elliot thrust slightly harder bringing his climax to the ready position as he waited for Olivia. He embraced her tighter folding her arms over her chest and covering hers with his from behind. He felt her body contract in orgasm as he released within her both moaning in appreciation together.

Exhausted, Elliot and Olivia curled up naked beside one another, "I think it keeps getting better and better." She smiled at him.

"I agree." He kissed her softly wrapping his arms around her. "Worked up a sweat did ya?" he teased her feeling the intense warmth of her body in his hands.

She rested her hands on his chest feeling in rise and fall in an effort to gather and release air. She spoke softly drifting off into sleep, "No more so than you."

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"Captain, can we talk to you for a second?" Elliot asked standing next to Olivia in the threshold of Cragen's office door.

Cragen looked up resigned to the fact that if he were to say no, they would simply persist.

"Sure, take a seat, close the door." He closed a file on his desk, pushing it aside.

Olivia lowered herself into her seat as Elliot sat next to her. "Cap, um, we wanted to talk to you about -" Elliot was unable to finish his thought.

"Sir, why didn't you tell us the commission summonsed you?" Olivia blurted out.

Cragen sat back in his chair a small smirk on his face. "I see you've talked to Casey."

"Yeah, I did, she thought you had told us." Olivia arched her brows, it surprised her that she was a little angry that he'd left her and Elliot out of the loop.

"With everything that you two have been through, I didn't want to add more." Cragen tossed the pencil on top of the closed file.

"What's it looking like Cap?" Elliot asked concerned.

"Hard to say with the Morris Commission. Best case, you two get separated and I get a slap on the wrist." he paused knowing there was no way he could be lucky enough to get a slap on the wrist.

"And the worse case?" Olivia asked.

Cragen took a breath, picking up the pencil and absentmindedly manipulating it in his hand. "Worse case, I am forced into retirement, and you two are split up." Cragen forced himself to smile in order to ease their concern.

"When?" Olivia whispered shocked and sadden that she was the cause of such a great man potentially getting fired...or as he softened it...forced into retirement.

"Actually, today...three thirty." He exhaled deeply.

"What?" Olivia and Elliot spoke simultaneously. "Why didn't you say something Don?" Olivia barked. She didn't want him to have to do this.

"Olivia, calm down it's going to be fine." He tried to reassure her.

"Yeah?" she ran her hand through her hair, "and what if it's not?"

Her question stung Cragen, he knew there was the possibility that he would be relieved of his command today, a command he held dearly for years. He'd sacrificed his marriage to it but it had also blessed him with Elliot and Olivia, who he loved probably more than he should. If he was removed they would be what he missed most.

"Well?" Olivia pressed again.

Cragen forced another smile looking at both of them. "Well, then I guess you'll have a steady babysitter."

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Olivia and Elliot took their seats as the only two police officers in the congregation of police chiefs, captains and other high ranking officials that regularly attended the Morris Commission briefings. While, officers were allowed and in fact encouraged to attend, none ever did. After all, who wanted to sit through the endless babble of city politics?

Olivia took a deep breath unable to touch Elliot. She wondered if others in the room knew they were married, wondered if showing up at the commission would do more harm to Don's career than she and Elliot already had. If he was allowed to stay, he would never see another promotion in his career. Once your summonsed to be disciplined your career stops dead in its tracks. Cragen knew it and so did Elliot and Olivia.

Captain Don Cragen sat in the front row in his dress uniform complete with medals and ribbons placed with precision just under his badge. He kept his head bowed, knowing that he was going to sacrifice his career for the happiness of two of his closest friends.

"Captain Donald Cragen of the one-six." A young lieutenant called him out from the mass. Cragen stood slowly taking a breath and adjusting his dress jacket. He thought it was ironic that he'd just placed an order for a larger size after gaining a few pounds. He wondered if he would be able to wear it. As he approached a podium that faced seven board members he could have sworn his shoes were made of cement blocks and it was at least a mile walk.

Captain Cragen squared his body at the podium, raised his head and spoke clearly. "Captain Donald Cragen of the one-six, reporting as ordered sir." he swallowed facing seven of his peers that would decide, not just his fate, but Elliot's and Olivia's as well.

"Captain Cragen, you've been summonsed before this commission for your inability to maintain order within your crew, in regards to a report received by us that two of your detectives are not only partners but married as well is that correct?" The dark rather robust man asked looking at Cragen over his glasses.

"Yes, sir it is." Cragen cleared his throat.

The dark man looked past Cragen at Elliot and Olivia who neither flinched nor looked away from the man's intimidation. "And I suppose these two are the detectives in question?" He asked irritated as the entire congregation turned their heads to look at the two people responsible for the meeting.

"Well, Captain," The man spoke sarcastically, " I am glad you felt the need to bring support." He adjusted himself in his seat taking a pen into his hand to begin the proceedings.

"When did you know they were a involved with one another?"

"I suspected it about two and a half years ago, but I wasn't informed until six months ago." Cragen felt his temperature rise.

"Do you pay attention to your crew Captain, or do you normally let them break regulation under your nose?"

"Detectives Benson and Stabler have one of the highest solve rates, not just in New York City, but in New York period, there behavior was nothing less than professional, I had nothing to call them on." Cragen's voice was still calm, knowing submission and honesty were the only things working for him.

"Why didn't you call them based on your suspicion?"

"Detectives Benson and Stabler are the finest detectives I've ever seen. They're ability to be objective and disagree with one another's theories while still solving a case is commendable." Cragen paused to continue before he was cut off.

"Your point Captain?" The man's voice was tense.

"My point, Sir, is that if I'd gone to them when I first suspected a breach in regulations and nothing was actually happening, I could have placed them both in highly awkward positions which I am confidant would have affected their ability to work effectively with one another." Cragen gripped the edge of the podium until his knuckles became white, his anger was slowly rising with each accusation of incompetence.

"I understand the female detective is pregnant." Cragen had to bite his tongue not to lash out at the fact that he spoke about Olivia as if she were less than a human, less than a dedicated cop.

"Detective Benson," He emphasized her name, humanizing her to the rest of the judges. The last one of which kept darting his eyes back and forth between Cragen and the two detectives that sat nervously as if awaiting a principal. "Is an honorable cop, her moral character far surpasses anyone's in this room. If her victim isn't sleeping than neither is she. She will sit with her victim on her personal time, provide them with her home phone with the encouragement of calling at anytime..."

"So, she's a hand-holder."

"Shes a protector, and upholder of the duty that comes with her shield." Cragen's anger was boiling, there was no reason why the commission should have been dragging her name through the mud, but they were and there was nothing he could do."

"I've read her jacket Captain!" the man barked back.

"Then you know she's a good detective, not a hand-holder or babysitter, she's bound by her oath to protect and serve." Cragen clenched his jaw.

The man sat back in his chair, "I've read her personal file as well, reviewed her most recent case. How do you justify keeping her assigned to your unit knowing her judgment could be clouded by her own rape?" The man's voice had crescendoed into a growl.

Cragen could no longer contain his anger as she slammed his fist on the podium. "Her rape," he spoke angrily "is precisely why I will not yield my position!"

"I caution you on your tone Captain."

"And I caution you on your attack against Olivia Benson. The fact that she is a _survivor_ of the very crimes she investigates, makes her an asset to our team." Cragen calmed his voice but it still dripped with anger.

Olivia shifted nervously in her seat as she saw her deepest pain spilled out in front of her peers, many of whom she did not know, nor had she ever met, yet they knew her most intimate humiliation. Elliot placed his hand over hers, forgetting about the regulation that put them in that room in the first place.

"Captain Cragen, I will ask you only once, when you found out the two detectives in question were romantically involved, did you or did you not condone their relationship?"

That was the reason Cragen stood before the board, it had nothing to do with Elliot, nothing to do with Olivia's rape or job performance. It was a simple answer that came with devastating consequences.

Cragen looked at every member of the panel before speaking, " She deserves peace, and if I could give it to her by allowing her to be with the one person she loves I would, and I did." In that moment he decided his own fate.

"You disregarded this boards regulation and standing for one person?"

"As officers of the law we are taught to judge by the spirit of the law not by the letter, this was a unique situation that called for mercy, not justice." Cragen eyed the last member of the panel who still seemed transfixed on Olivia and Elliot.

Cragen's accuser took his glasses off. "I have no further questions for you Captain, please take a seat."

As Cragen returned to his seat the man spoke again. "In accordance with the statues set forth by this panel your punishment Captain Cragen, will be decided by a majority rule, meaning four of us must come into agreement rather or not to relieve you of your command."

Cragen took a deep breath.

Olivia bit her lip.

Elliot held her hand firmly.

"This board will reconvien in thirty minutes without the presence of the congregation. However, Detectives Benson and Stabler are encouraged to return since they are the cause of this delightful mess." With that he stood allowing the rest of the panel to rise.

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"What the hell was that?" Olivia hissed to Elliot in the hallway as they waited.

"Liv, calm down." Elliot tried to sooth her.

She whispered angrily. "Don't tell me to calm down, who was in the hot seat in there Cragen or me?"

"It was unfair Olivia," Cragen interrupted. "I am sorry it happened."

"My reputation was just shot to hell in front of every high ranking official within the force." she shook her head sitting slowly on the bench outside of the meeting area.

"Olivia, I meant every word I said in there." Cragen spoke comforting.

Olivia raised her head to meet his gaze, "Really?" she seemed surprised

"Absolutely." Cragen responded gently.

"Captain Donald Cragen?" The lieutenant bellowed into the hall.

"So much for thirty minutes." Elliot exhaled sharply as they returned with Captain Cragen.

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Cragen's' accuser placed his glasses on his face and began speaking as soon as the trio sat, "I assure you that although this panel reached their conclusion with unrealities ease, each member provided excellent reasoning for their decisions." The man looked to the members on his right and then his left. "Are the members ready to render their decisions."

"We are." The six person chorus sounded.

"Very well, by answering 'Yea' you have decided that Captain Cragen be removed form his command, by answering 'Nay', you have decided to offer him a reprieve."

"Captain Cragen please approach the podium." His accuser motioned.

Cragen took a breath, offered a glance of hope to Olivia and Elliot and approached. "Captain Donald Cragen of the one-six, reporting as ordered sir."

"Very well I'll begin with the members to my right, your left...Chief John Ottom, what is your decision?"

"Yea." Ottom's response was curt as he looked at Cragen.

The accuser recorded the vote, "Captain Manuel Rodriguez, what is your decision?"

"Yea." his voice offered another blow. "Captain Cragen, I find your disregard to the commission deplorable." The vote was recorded.

"Lieutenant Sara Johanasburg, what is your decision?"

"Nay." She offered nothing further as she spoke her mind in one syllabul that offered hope to Captain Cragen as the vote was cast.

The accuser looked Cragen straight in the eye. "My personal vote Captain Cragen is Yea. I find that your disregard for what this panel finds imperative is a disgrace to the shield you swore to uphold." Three negative votes were recorded, one more and their fate was sealed.

"Captain Bradley Christopherson, what is your decision?"

"Nay." He offered a nod to Captain Cragen after he rendered his decision. A small glimmer of hope appeared on the horizon as the vote was recorded.

"Chief Israel Mendoza, what is your decision?"

Mendoza looked pensively at Olivia and Elliot and returned to Cragen. "Nay."

The accuser re-addressed Cragen. "Captain Cragen, Captain Michael Rhodes will be, not only, the deciding vote, but he will also pronounce your punishment if such action is necessary do you understand?"

"Yes Sir." Cragen's voice broke, the stress of the situation was overwhelming.

"Captain Michael Rhodes what is your decision?"

Rhodes leaned forward, his light skin in contrast with his dress uniform. "Detective Benson please approach the podium."

Olivia was confused, she wasn't the one that was summonsed.

"Captain Rhodes, I must protest, what is the meaning of this?" The accuser interjected.

"Chief Serna," Rhodes spoke, allowing the group to know the man's name for the first time. "I am the senior member of this panel. If I wish to address someone to help me with my decision I will do so with or without your approval." He looked at Olivia again offering her a small smile. "Detective Benson, please." He motioned for her to approach.

Olivia stood adjusting the cuff to her blouse, it was something she did every time she was called as a witness in a case. Satisfied her shirt was presentable she stood next to Cragen and addressed the board.

"Detective Olivia Benson of the one-six, reporting as ordered sir." Her face still suggested she was confused. Elliot sat nervously bouncing his leg up and down.

"Detective Benson," He spoke loud enough that one could question if he was addressing her alone or the her and the members of the board. "During the course of these proceedings, I was also able to read your professional jacket as well as your personal, if half of our force and perhaps even members of this panel, had your dedication as a servant of our community, we would not need a Special Victim's Unit."

Rhodes removed his glasses placing them gently on a legal pad in front of him. "What I saw here today, is disturbing at best, the contempt held during these proceedings is deplorable, and while I agree that Captain Cragen disregarded the boards suggestion not to allow married partnerships, but I also find that, that is all it was...a suggestion."

Olivia stood next to a silent Cragen. If they could read one another's minds they would probably both be saying the same, "what the hell is going on?"

"Captain Cragen, you sanctioned this relationship for reasons only you can be sure are correct, and just as you put your career and reputation on the line for these two fine detectives, I offer you my reputation. My decision in this manner is that you not be removed from your command; however, if you are summoned before me again because of this manner in any form, you will force my hand do you understand?"

"Yes...yes sir." Cragen was clearly shaken at the decision, he thought for sure he would be dismissed.

"There is however another matter Captain Cragen; your unwilliness to advise this board of the situation between Detectives Stabler and Benson deserves to not be overlooked. Therefore, I am ordering you one month's forfeiture of pay and a write up will be placed in your jacket. Please take your seat Captain."

"Yes sir." Cragen was relieved. Forefiting a month's pay would be rough financially but he'd managed, his job was safe and Elliot and Olivia had the Morris Commision's blessings.

Olivia stood alone, head raised high forcing herself to keep her composure. Sweaty palm syndrome set in, she didn't understand why she was the one still standing.

"Detective Benson, your service is commendable, your record is flawless. I am honored to serve on this police force with you." he placed his glasses on jotting information on a form.

"I regret that this panel did not treat you with the same respect, compassion, and yes, _protection,_ that you treat your victim's with. I offer you my personal apology as well as the boards apology. The obvious commoradity shared between you and your crew is admirable and should be appreciated not condemned. I trust you will keep your personal relationship personal and your professional relationship professional." He spoke waiting for her response.

"Absolutely Sir." Her voice was graetful.

"Very well. Detectives and Captain Cragen, your dismissed."


	79. Chapter 79 The evolution of Casey

CHAPTER 79

**A/N "Alright, I got a load of Emails begging for the expansion of Casey's story. So this long chapter is for you (you know who you all are!) LOL. So, only a couple more chapters and then I have to come up with a sequel, and let me tell you boys and girls...the next one is gonna be CRAZY! Also, I'm aware of the amount of chapters but I got tons of emails asking for it to stay, so there ya have it. ENJOY!**

Olivia pulled into a parking stall on the second floor of the parking garage at the JFK airport. Now seven months pregnant, Olivia, had to slide the driver's seat all the way so she could get out of the car. It was tricky business getting out of the car but she managed to do it with finesse each time.

After finding Casey Novak weeping at her baby's grave, Olivia had managed to convince her to put in for a vacation. Casey surprised her by leaving for Barcelona, Spain for a month just after she signed her divorce papers and asked Olivia to deliver them to the courthouse While she never called or sent a postcard, Olivia knew she would be fine, she needed the time alone to gather her thoughts, and re-establish who she was and what she was doing.

Olivia exited the elevator and immediately found a TV monitor for the arrival planes. Scanning for flight 6339 she found that it was on time and due in the next ten minutes at gate thirty-three.

She walked slowly, her ankles slightly swollen, until she arrived at the proper gate. Just before she sat she noticed her shoelace was untied. "Oh great." She murmured. It literally had taken her five minutes to tie her sneakers before she left the house. She found it virtually impossible to bend over her bulging belly but she was alone to fend for herself while she waited for Casey.

Olivia scooted to the edge of the chair allowing more room for her to bend. She couldn't see but she felt about her shoe for the laces. She grunted trying to tie them but lost hold of the lace. Olivia concentrated on several attempts to tie her own lace and was almost ready to give up when she hear a familiar voice.

"Well, I see you still can't ask for help Liv." Casey chuckled dropping her bag and kneeling to tie Olivia's shoe.

"Casey!" Olivia smiled and then slowly stood to hug her after she tied her shoe.

"Hey! How are you?" There was warmth in Casey's embrace that wasn't there a month ago.

"You look good." Olivia said taking a step back to look at her. It seemed she had gained her weight back, her eyes shown a little brighter than they had in awhile.

"I feel good." Casey smiled picking up her bag. "I had an awesome time, no courtrooms, no drama." She smiled.

"Well, there was all sorts of drama here after you left." Olivia laughed as they took the elevator back to the parking garage.

"Well…tell me." Casey pressed Olivia for the information.

On the ride to Casey's apartment Olivia filled her in on the Morris Commission's decision and her random thoughts about the baby.

"So have you found out what the baby is gonna be?" Casey asked as they parked in front of her apartment building.

"No, we want the sex to be a surprise." Olivia smiled as they entered Casey's apartment building and stepped into an awaiting elevator.

"Well, have you picked out names?" Casey was curious.

"Isabel." Olivia smiled revealing her teeth. It was a rare smile she reserved only for the most precious moments. Casey unlocked the door to her apartment and placed the bag in the hall.

"Oh, I like that name, but what if the baby is a boy?" She asked retrieving two waters from the refrigerator and offering one to Olivia who's smile suddenly disappeared as she rubbed the back of her neck.

"Liv? What's up?" Casey asked.

"Ah…nothing." She shook her head opening her water.

"Liar, you wouldn't make a good defense attorney Liv, I can see right through you, what's up?" She asked again.

"This might sound bad, but I don't know if I want a boy." Olivia starred at the bottle of water.

"Why?" Casey encouraged her to talk about it as she sat across from her.

"I am a little nervous…you know Oliver and Victor." She bit her lip.

Casey put her hand over Olivia's, "With parent's like you and Elliot, your baby's doomed to live a life full of love and safety." She smiled causing Olivia to release a small laugh. Casey regained her seriousness and comforted Olivia. "Remember that Victor is dead Olivia, and as far as Oliver is concerned, he's gonna die in prison." Casey wrapped her arms around Olivia embracing her tightly until Olivia was ready to tackle another subject.

"Hey Casey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." She furrowed her brows finding it odd that Olivia felt she had to ask permission.

"How long until your divorce is final?" her voice was non-judgmental.

"Um…next week actually." Casey paused "Why?"

"Well, if you're up for it, Elliot and I thought it was time you give the dating life another go." Olivia smiled.

"What? Me?" Casey was shocked.

"Unless you have a twin I don't know about." Olivia smiled as she stood up. "Look, tomorrow night Elliot and I are going out with his friend, you can meet up with us at Angelino's."

"Liv?" Casey protested.

"Hey, you can't back out." Olivia smiled arcing her brows.

"Back out? I didn't know I pulled in." Casey narrowed her eyes and smirked. "You told him I was coming already didn't you?"

"You know it sweetheart." Olivia laughed as she gave Casey a hug, "Remember, wear something nice, Angelino's at seven." She gave a brief recap and then opened the door to leave. "And don't wuss out on me Casey."

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Elliot stood outside of Angelino's with Olivia, "You know Casey's gonna kill us for this right?" he opened the door for Olivia.

"Yep, we should consider ourselves dead, but I had to do something Elliot."

"Yeah but did you have to drag me into it?" He laughed as he pulled a chair out for her.

"Oh, what happened to for better or worse Stabler?" She smiled reviling in the power she had to convince him to go along with her diabolical matchmaking plan.

Elliot sat caddy-corner from Olivia who was stunning in a black dress that emphasized her belly. In the last month she had taken a liking to letting everyone know she was pregnant. She no longer hid her belly, she proclaimed it.

"Liv, give me your hands."

"Excuse me?" She laughed at the strange request.

"Give me your hands." He smiled. "Quick, before they get here."

Olivia looked at Elliot suspiciously but still placed her hands in his. He focused first on her right hand. "There's something I wanted to do." He carefully slid her wedding ring off of her hand and placed on her left. "That's where it belongs." He smiled and kissed her gently on the mouth.

"Oh my gosh!" She said muffled by his lips. She broke free and pointed to the entrance of the restaurant. "Look."

"Wow." Elliot agreed.

Casey spotted Elliot and Olivia quickly and made her way to the table. She wore a red top that dipped dangerously low, but left plenty for the imagination. Her hair was softer than normal as it formed gently around her face. Her makeup flawless, her walk confidant.

"Hey guys." She chirped as Elliot stood to pull a chair out for her.

"Thanks." She laughed at his chivalry. "So, where's this mystery man?" Casey asked nervously.

The waiter approached, "Can I get you anything to drink?" Everyone agreed that water was fine for now but requested additional time until their friend arrived.

Casey had finally relaxed; she seemed at ease with her life and the fact that she was getting set up. Elliot sat back looking at two women who simply laughed in the presence of one another. Olivia was positively radiant, Casey exuded a confidence that had been absent from her for much to long.

Olivia spoke casually to Casey as Elliot laughed at their topics of choice, but when the color drained from Casey's face Olivia stopped and looked in the direction of her stare. The closer the gentleman came to their table, the bigger Casey's eyes got.

When Paul Novak greeted Olivia and Elliot, taking the only available seat next to Casey, Elliot thought Casey would pass out.

"Paul!" she managed to say obviously shocked, as she looked at Olivia confused.

"Casey, this is our friend…I think you two know each other." Olivia spoke softly.

"Hi Casey." Paul smiled searching her face. "It's good to see you again."

Casey's eyes darted between the three people sitting at her table, "Um…yeah, you too." She finally managed to get a hold of her vocabulary.

Elliot and Olivia smiled at one another as Casey and Paul stared at each other in disbelief. Olivia withdrew her cell phone and dialed Elliot's number under the table. It was a plan they'd already discussed. Elliot acted surprised when his phone rang he reached for it and spoke dialogue to a dead phone.

"Stabler…uh huh…well can you find someone else?…Okay, well be there." He flipped the phone down and put on his best-disappointed look. He withdrew his wallet and placed fifty dollars on the table.

"Casey, Paul, I'm sorry, Olivia and I have to go to the station house, Cragen is loosing his mind about some paperwork that needs to be fixed."

"Now?" Casey asked.

"Yeah, sorry Casey." Elliot spoke softly as he helped Olivia from her chair.

"Hey, I'll see you later." Olivia stood and waved to both. "Enjoy your meal, the food here is great."

Olivia and Elliot walked out the door laughing at the execution of their plan.

"Your good Liv." Elliot said extending his hand palm out.

"I know." She laughed slapping his hand in a high five motion.

They walked down the sidewalk hand and hand enjoying the fact that they no longer had to worry about being seen. "Chinese and a movie?" He asked.

"Yep." She smiled as he wrapped his hand around her shoulders.

"You're a bad girl Olivia." He smiled remembering the look on Casey's face when she'd seen Paul.

Olivia leaned into his embrace "Yep, and you love me for it."

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"You look good." Paul spoke shifting nervously in his chair.

"Um…' Casey was distracted by his presence; his hazel eyes possessed a longing for Casey that she'd not seen before, perhaps not even when they were married. She finally managed to regain her composure enough to finish, "you look good too…you still have that tie I see." She let out a small sound not quit classified as a laugh but it was accompanied by a fain smile nonetheless. After an awkward pause, she quickly spoke, "Paul. Look, I didn't know, Liv said it was a friend."

"Well, she and Elliot have become like friends over the last month I suppose." He smiled sensing her angst; he had no desire to make her nervous. "Olivia and Elliot must really care for you to go through all of this." He motioned his hands into the air.

"Yeah…yeah I think they do." She averted her eyes half hoping to see Olivia and Elliot looking through the window or hiding behind the banister…anything, yet there was nothing.

"So-" Paul adjusted is drill mount eyeglasses.

"So." Casey exhaled.

"I think it's pretty safe to say we've been set up." He adjusted the tail of his tie.

Casey laughed more confidently, "Yeah, pretty safe to say." Casey examined his body carefully. He had changed so much, no longer did he seem to be the tall skinny man she had married. The years had been good to him, his shoulders were broader, he'd put on muscular weight and his eyes were softer than she'd previously known.

"Casey, let's get out of here huh?"

"Excuse me?"

"Let's go." He stood extending his hand to her.

Her mind protested, reminding her of his painful accusations but it was her heart that forced her hand into his. She stared at him with a look of uncertainty. It wasn't until he smiled lightly grasping her hand within his that she rose from her seat. "Where are we going?"

"Nowhere…everywhere." He led her out of the restaurant allowing the cool breeze to embrace them both. "How have you been?" He asked walking with his hands clasped behind his back. He wanted to touch her, to hold her, but he was afraid she would push him away and he knew she had every reason too.

"I'm good." She smiled folding her arms over in front of her, afraid her desire to touch him, to allow him to embrace her would override the necessity to guard her heart. "I just had a long vacation, I'm well rested." She exhaled and smiled knowing she was speaking the truth. After everything that had happened: her courtroom defeats and drunken pitfall Casey was finally on the upswing but, was the man in front of her to be viewed as a deterrent or a welcomed companion…she wasn't sure.

Casey and Paul walked with no particular destination in mind, they filled one another in on their careers, his passion for science led him to complete his doctorate and landed him a job at a pharmaceutical company where he was a senior technician in charge of engineering.

Casey was surprised when he congratulated her on her attempted prosecution of the U.S. Army for administering Quenium to their soldiers.

"How did you know about that?" she asked him shocked.

"You're the only one with enough balls to subpoena Donald Rumsfeild." He laughed causing Casey to bow her head and blush.

Before he could stop his laughter Casey asked in all seriousness, before she weighed the consequences, "Have you been with anyone?" As soon as she released the words she regretted it. The thought was suppose to be just that…a thought, but, somehow her heart managed to verbalize it. She wanted to leave but her heart forced her to stay her ground and wait for his answer.

"No." He returned her stare.

"Why?" She asked, in spite of her mind yelling at her to stop before she got her heart in trouble.

Paul stepped closer, but still declined to touch her. He gathered her scent into his memory realizing she was still wearing the same fragrance she'd worn when they were married. "I'd try and picture myself with someone else but…your face was all I could remember." He lowered his gaze and turned to walk.

If it were possible for someone to remain standing while their heart stopped beating, Casey would have bet her life that, that was what just happened to her. She walked quickly to catch up with him as they walked together in silence.

"So, counselor." He broke the silence as he stopped.

"Yes?" Casey couldn't help but analyze their dialogue through the night – it was her job to pick apart a sentence or word to find it's real meaning.

"What about you? Anyone in particular?" he kept his voice low afraid of her response. Casey clenched her jaw as a surge of anger shot through her body as she thought to herself, "You accusing me of adultery again?" She searched his eyes for malice and found only disarming innocence.

"No." She whispered content that he wasn't speaking as an accuser. Paul stepped closer invading her space. She'd slowly unfolded her arms leaving them at her sides. He moved closer to her hand allowing only his knuckle to graze it. She responded tenetavly, attempting to allow him to take possession of her as they stared at one another.

"I have to go." She whispered withdrawing her hand, before he possessed it in its entirety. She turned to leave.

"Casey – wait! Let me call a cab." He tried to catch up with her and was next to her in a manner of five, maybe six strides.

"Casey!" he called again for her to stop.

"I'm only a block away." She walked faster, the night had been overwhelming and she wanted to be in the comfort of her own home.

"Casey!" He grabbed her hand to face him.

"Let me go Paul." She spoke flustered. She'd worked so hard to erase him from her pallet of emotion and yet here he was provoking her to care for him again.

"Casey," he was inches from her face. "I didn't know how to show you I loved you, but, that doesn't mean that I don't." he furrowed his brows in seriousness watching her eyes pool with tears.

Casey recognized the present tense in his sentence. 'That doesn't mean I don't'. Casey retrieved her hand from his, "I have to go." She spoke as she turned and disappeared into the night.

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Elliot and Olivia lay in bed simply enjoying the presence of one another. "What do you think Paul and Casey are doing right now?" She asked Elliot was whispering to Olivia's belly.

He looked at her smiling at the thought of Casey and Paul being reunited, "Well – it's almost eleven – they probably went for drinks after dinner."

"I hope she didn't bail on Paul." She smiled relating to Casey's stubborn streak. "She hasn't called." Olivia reminded Elliot, who pulled her close to him and drew the comforter over both of them.

Elliot kissed the back of her neck nuzzling closer. "If she hasn't called yet – that could be a good thing."

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Casey sat in her office chair reviewing case files while she waited for Olivia. Oliver's case had been put on the court calendar six weeks from today and Olivia was adamant about being prepped. There was no way she was letting Oliver get away with what he had done.

"Casey, you ready?" Olivia peeked into the office giving Casey a small start.

"Yeah come on in." She smiled welcoming her into the room. Olivia lowered herself slowly into the chair causing Casey to giggle.

"What's so funny?" Olivia rubbed her stomach.

"I'm sorry Liv – I just never thought I'd see you fat." Casey joked.

"Gee thanks." Olivia smiled unashamed of her belly.

Before Olivia could ask about Casey's 'date' with Paul, she dove straight into the case hoping Olivia wouldn't ask. "So there are three things we have to do to prove your case Liv, one-"

"Ms. Novak?" It was the receptionist.

"Yes, Diane?" Casey stood to see what she was carrying.

"These came for you." Diane placed a small bouquet of pink Daisy's on the desk and then left.

"Well." Olivia beamed. "I guess that answers the questions you weren't gonna let me ask huh?"

Casey laughed. Tying to fool Olivia was useless. "Stop." She chuckled, "We have to get on this case if were gonna win." She said attempting to avoid the subject.

"Oh no you don't" Olivia said as she snatched the card from the flowers. "Read." She instructed holding the card in front of Casey.

Casey hesitantly and yet anxiously took the card from Olivia and read it. "Dinner, my house at 7:30. Paul." He'd managed to scribble his address in tiny letters just under his name.

"Well?" Olivia exclaimed after Casey blushed and simply stared at the card.

"He wants me to have dinner with him tonight." She smiled, sitting down.

"So, then, last night was a success?" Olivia suggested, but then thought otherwise when she saw the confusion on Casey's face. "Or maybe not?" Olivia searched Casey's face looking for the cause of her hesitation.

"What's with the face Casey?"

"It was…intense…overwhelming, you know?" Casey tapped her pen on a legal pad producing dense thuds.

"How so?"

"It was awkward at first, he was the last person I expected you to set me up with…sneaky." She smiled. "How'd you find him?"

"Casey, I'm a detective remember? It's my job to find people who don't want to be found." She smiled.

"Like me in the cemetery huh?" Casey asked.

"Actually, that was Paul's doing." Olivia arched her brows and pressed her lips together.

"What?" Casey whispered in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Casey," Olivia adjusted her body in the chair, "Fin came and got me when you left, we searched for hours trying to find you. Please don't be upset but Paul was our only lead." She spoke apologetically.

"Upset? Liv, I'm not upset," she assured her. "I was caught off guard when he walked up, I almost had a heart attack." Casey laughed remembering how she must of looked. "It was just so confusing Olivia." She leaned back in her chair tossing her pencil on the desk and exhaled deeply.

"Confusing? Why?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know...one second I didn't want him to touch me, the next I'm having to restrain my need to touch _him_."

"You've been away from him for a long time Casey." Olivia assured her that a conflict of emotions would be normal.

"I know..." Casey blushed then spoke. "I asked if he'd been with anyone since we separated."

"Ballzy!" Olivia was pleasantly shocked. "What'd he say?"

"No," Casey rubbed her eyes, "Liv...I don't know what to do, he really hurt me. I was faithful to him since the day we started dating. I don't' know if I can go through it again...but then he touched me..." Casey was speaking in a world wind of emotion as if brainstorming out loud. Olivia interjected softly.

"Honey, he loves you and you love him...go to dinner."

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Paul eyed the clock after the doorbell rang. "Still punctual." he spoke aloud as he wiped his hands on the dishtowel and adjusted the heat on the stove.

"Casey – I hoped you'd come." He smiled inviting her to come in. She was dressed casually in low-rise dickies and her favorite form fitting 'Red Socks' shirt. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. He wasn't sure of her motive for dressing so casually but he didn't mind. In fact, she was stunning.

"I hope you weren't expecting fancy clothes." she smiled. " I spilled coffee on myself when I was finishing up a prepping session with Olivia, I didn't have time to go home so..." she shoved her hands in her pants "This is what I had in my bag."

"Well, I was gonna change into my tux," he teased her, "but, maybe I won't." He smiled at her sensing her nervousness. "You look great." he reassured her.

"Thanks – um, you too." She was happy to see he was equally casual in a white crew neck t-shirt hat highlighted his now muscular body. He wore loose fitting jeans with no socks or shorts. Paul was always either casual or professional in his clothing, there was no in between. However, Casey had taken a liking to the fact that he hadn't shaved in a few days allowing the stubble to emerge, in fact, she found him more attractive than she ever had.

"Can I help you with something?" she asked motioning to the kitchen.

"Yeah, actually, I need to check the food, can you please set the table?"

"Sure." She said undaunted by the fact that she didn't' know her way around his kitchen. After opening the second cupboard she found the plates on the top shelve, she stood on her tiptoes struggling to reach.

"Here, let me." Paul placed his hand on the small of her back and effortlessly retrieved the plates. His touch had sent a chill down her spine and something within her told her it was intentional.

The phone rang startling both. "Can you stir the sauce?"

"I think I can manage it." she laughed as he passed the chore off to her and ran for the phone.

Casey thought of the possibilities the night had in store but she thought more of what the house would sound like had their baby not passed away. She'd been so lost in though she'd stopped stirring allowing the sauce to boil, bursting red sauce.

"Shoot!" She blurted removing the pan to a cool burner and running water over a towel. "Ah, my favorite shirt." She murmured.

Paul walked back to the kitchen smiling as he approached her from behind. "You have to dab it." he spoke softly reaching from behind her. He took hold of her shirt allowing his hand to graze her midriff. He dabbed lightly with the towel. "Like this." He spoke gently.

Having her in his arms, even for something as ridiculous as a stain soothed his heart. "You should probably get that in the washer before it sets." He suggested attempting to walk away but was surprised when Casey grabbed hold of his arms and pulled them around her waist. Her desire to be touched finally overrode her intellect's shouts.

Paul held her tightly, aware of her body's curves, aware of her exposed neck. He gently ran his stubbled lips along her neck, the warmth of his breath caused her to relax. "I missed you Casey." He whispered.

Casey turned to face him; both shocked at the tears in one another's eyes. They closed the gap between one another slowly. "I never stopped loving you Casey." His voice was gruff as he cupped her cheek gently. She blinked her eyes closed allowing her tear to spill into the contours of his hand.

She opened her eyes as he leaned his forehead against hers, "I'm sorry, I was so cruel Casey." he whispered causing her to release a sob. He felt her forehead wrinkle as she furrowed her brows trying to regain composure. He knew she was hurting, he knew he was the cause of so much of her pain, but, he also knew she wasn't pulling away from him either.

Casey bowed her head, taking in the apology that she'd waited so long for. Paul tipped her chin up forcing her to look at him. He brushed his lips softly against hers, "I am sorry I blamed you Casey." He hooked one hand around her neck and looked at her inches from her face. "I'm sorry, I accused you." Casey closed her eyes again, not sure what to do. Her heart and her intellect fought against each other.

"Casey? Please, I'm sorry." He pleaded.

Casey suddenly broke from his embrace. "Your sorry?" she asked incredulously backing herself into the corner of the kitchen. "Your sorry? That's _fantastic_ Paul." her intellect suddenly took over and eight years of suppressed anger threatened to surface. "I was faithful to you Paul!" She yelled, "I _never_ cheated on you! And when I needed you most you insisted on making me feel like I was less!"

Paul approached her in the corner. "You have every right to be upset with me Casey, you have every right to hate me." His voice was soft. His eyes pooled. "I can only beg you to forgive me. If I could take it all back I would." he stepped closer to a shocked Casey.

"Why weren't you there?" she whispered through tears, "They let me hold our dead baby and you weren't there! You never even saw her!" She yelled hitting his chest. "Why?" Her tears flowed faster.

"I was such a jerk Casey, I have no excuses for you, but I can tell you that I loved her Casey and I think about her everyday...the same as I do you." He stepped even closer, completely invading her space. "I love you Casey."

Casey was exhausted from the emotional roller coaster. "I have to go." She attempted to push past him when he grabbed her by her waist and turned her to him. Gently, he covered her lips with his, feeling her body relax, he knew she wanted to be there, she was just to stubborn too see it, too hurt to know it.

He separated his lips from hers, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't ha-"

Casey stepped closer taking him back to her lips allowing him to finish what he'd started. He separated her lips with his tongue and kissed his wife intensely, breaking from her embrace he smiled, "You should get your shirt in the washer."

"I don't have anything to wear." She spoke catching her breath.

Paul glanced at the stove making sure all the knobs were in the off position before taking Casey by the hand and leading her into the master bedroom. He rummaged through a drawer and pulled out a white T-shirt.

He turned to face Casey who was taking in the site of the bedroom. It wasn't the impeccable cleanliness or the sleek attire that caught her eye it was the two pictures next to his bed. She walked closer to the nightstand and fought back tears as she realized it was a picture of her and Paul, the day they found out they were pregnant with Sara. Right next to that was the sonogram picture of Sara.

"Paul?" she whispered

He placed his hand gently on her shoulder, "Casey?" he asked kissing her neck.

She remained silent, unable to find the words. She turned to face him. "I never stopped loving you either." Her eyes pooled as he bent to kiss her. Her took her by the waist slipping his hand under her shirt; he felt the contours of her tone back, as he used her spine as a chart to her hips. "I've missed you Casey, every night, I prayed you come back, I've never forgotten you," he whispered into her ear.

Casey closed her eyes savoring the gentle touch that invaded her body. She reached up to touch his face and felt the tears that stained his check. He had never cried in front of her, not even when they lost Sara, yet here he was broken before her, lost without her. Casey placed her hands on his chest feeling the new territory of his body. Through his shirt she could feel the definition of his abdomen. Taking hold of his hem, she attempted to pull it over his body.

"Wait." He whispered.

"Is this too fast?" She asked confused, perhaps he did want to take it slow, but what she was feeling was alien to her, she had never felt this way when they were together.

"No," He smiled. "My glasses." He removed them placing the inside the nightstand. He pulled the shirt over his head standing before her he took hold of her, "I think you should change your shirt." His hands were on the hem.

"I think it's already set…should probably just take it off." She whispered logically giving him permission to expose her. He removed her shirt allowing Casey only the protection of a black lace bra and her dickies. He walked backwards only a short distance and pulled her gently down onto the bed allowing her to be on top, allowing her the ability to leave if she so desired. When she shifted her weight and slid under him, he knew, or at least he hoped she wouldn't be leaving.

"I missed you too." She whispered pulling his lips to her. He adjusted their position taking her to the top of the bed. He was strong, not like before, he was tender, allowing her to feel as though he actually wanted her, not like before where she felt less in his presence. He kneeled in front of her on the bed and pulled her close to him allowing them to embrace one another. When he opened his eyes to break the embrace, Casey wouldn't. He held her longer tracing the contours of her back; something caught his eye. What was it? He strained to look at her back while he embraced her. It was a tattoo that he had never seen. He made a mental note to ask her what it meant later.

Paul finally broke the embrace and stood to his feet to take his pants off. As he stepped out of them Casey observed him and smiled as his now naked body came back to her, crawling over her body. "Are you sure about this Casey? If you want to wait-"

Casey smiled pushing him away gently causing him to sit on the heels of his feet. She unbuttoned her Dickies and maneuvered her hips out, allowing him to follow with her underwear.

"I guess that answers the question?" He smiled taking in the precious site of her body.

"Unless you have an objection?" She stared at him waiting for him to warm her again with his body. He took her hands into his pulling her up to him. He unhooked her bra in one motion and gently removed it by the straps. "No objection here." He smiled laying her back down softly and kissing her on her lips.

"I never thought we'd be here again." she whispered.

"I missed you so much Casey." He ran his hand down her neck, slowly making his way to her breast, they were perfect...she was perfect. He ran his tongue over her breast, providing gentle pressure at first and then increasing with her moans. He furthered his way down her body stopping at her stomach, at the small scar that should have given life to their baby, but instead brought them such pain. He rested his head on her abdomen closing his eyes in regret. He wasn't there for Casey and he never got to see Sara.

Casey rested her hand on his head, "Paul, what's wrong?" she whispered.

He shifted his head resting his chin just above her belly button. "Nothing." he smiled and continued his downward journey. He slipped his tongue into her crevice and worked softly at first. The intensity was so great she pressed her body into the mattress, but he dove deeper with more desire until she began to whimper. He knew that was her sign, her indication that climax was near. He adjusted his body and entered her while he stared at her.

She closed her eyes, grimacing slightly at his size, it had been too long since she'd been with him but she accepted him without complaint. He held her waist as he moved inside of her shallow at first.

"Are you teasing me?" She panted.

"Yep." he smiled diving slightly deeper and withdrawing and then reentering. He repeated his torture until she pleaded with him to enter in his fullness. He kissed her as he plummeted into her. A surge of heat racing through her body and transferring to his as he moved faster.

She moved her body, shifting her weight and pinning him. She moved frantically over him, moaning with more intensity. He smiled at her enjoyment, at the fact that he'd never thought she would want to be with him again, not after what he'd done to her. Sensing she was ready to climax he wrapped his legs around her tightly forcing himself deeper into her as she screamed out in satisfaction, he held her tightly allowing his body to convulse within her.

Casey allowed him to decrease and evacuate her body. She panted trying to catch her breath kissing him softly as he released his bodies grip on hers. She lay next to him on her stomach unwilling to look at him a huge wave of emotion flooding her mind. They had so much they were going to have to work through; she hoped she hadn't ruined their chances by coming off easy or desperate.

He pulled her close to him letting her naked and tattooed back touch his chest. Curious about the newness of her body, he separated from her. "What is the tattoo?" He smiled, she was scared of needles, and this was a surprise.

Casey turned her head and rested her cheek on the pillow looking at him seriously, "When I was two, my mom use to let me walk on her back. She said when she was sad her back when become tense and when I walked on it was like a massage. It made her happy." Casey spoke with a hint of sadness in her words. " When Sara was born, they let me hold her in spite of..." He eyes pooled. "You know...the still birth. I had Sara foot printed before they took her away from me I knew I would never see her or feel her again so I held onto those footprints, after you left-" Casey began to release tears. "I wanted to remember her, so I thought of this. When I'm unhappy I picture her walking on my back, relieving the pain."

"They're Sara's foot prints?" He whispered touching each one from the small of her back to the middle of her spine. The detail was impeccable, every detail was visible. For him, it was the first time he'd seen anything of his daughter other than her sonogram. He kissed her back tenderly as she cried silently; he could feel her body heaving as she tried to hold in her pain. He wrapped her tightly in his arms, crying his own tears. Holding her for the first time in years they finally mourned the loss of their baby in each other's arms.


	80. Chapter 80 The Baby

CHAPTER 80

Elliot rose from the bed slowly in an effort not to wake Olivia up. As he stood he observed the smile on Olivia's face. Her hands were relaxed, he smiled, noticing the change, a year ago she would have slept in the fetal position with her fist balled up. There were times when Olivia ground her teeth so loud she would wake him up.

Elliot finished dressing himself as she continued to sleep. He manipulated his tie into failure and then retried. After wearing a tie everyday for nearly twenty years he couldn't tie it like Olivia did. He enjoyed the last month of getting ready while she slept. She had put in for maternity leave only days after Casey and Paul reconciled their marriage. While Elliot missed her at work, he loved coming home to her smile.

Elliot gave up on his tie finally deciding that however it looked was fine with him. He bent low kissing her gently on her lips. She stirred as she responded to him.

"Leaving already?" She smiled still groggy from sleep.

"Yeah, but Cragen has been gracious enough to let me come home if nothing is going on. He keeps asking if the baby has made his debut." He smiled sitting on the side of the bed. He took her hand as she laughed.

"He huh? Have you thought of a name for him?" She laughed. "I'm pretty sure he would be upset if we called him Isabel."

Elliot kissed her softly again "Well what have you thought of?" she asked testing him

"Doug." He said smiling.

"Doug? No." She shook her head. "Absolutely not." She laughed knowing he was yanking her chain.

"I have to go." He smiled leaning into her. He kissed her softly separating her mouth; she raised her body into his kiss, wrapping her hand around the nape of his neck. Elliot broke away whispering through a smile, "Your gonna make me late." He rose to his feet retrieving his badge and gun from the nightstand as Olivia sat herself up in the bed.

"Elliot." She smiled.

"Yeah?" He responded fastening the button that held his weapon secure.

"Come here." She whispered calling him with her finger.

Olivia took hold of his tie bringing him to her mouth again. She kissed him playfully while she untied his tie. She sucked lightly on the bottom of his lip as she adjusted the tie in a matter of seconds. Olivia smiled releasing him from her mouth and patting his chest. "You should go your gonna be late."

Elliot arched his brow feeling the perfect knot in his tie. "How do you do that?"

Olivia laughed positioning her body further down into the bed and pulling the comforter to her breast. "I told you I got skills you don't even know about."

Elliot blushed, "I'm gonna go." He smiled as he walked out of the room.

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"Casey!" Olivia was happy to see her friend standing at the door. "What brings you by?" She asked allowing Casey to come in.

"I wanted to see how you were doing. How's the little one?" She smiled motioning to Olivia's belly.

"I think he'll be good at karate, he kicks me all night long." She laughed rubbing her now nine-month-old belly.

Casey smiled seeing Olivia so happy. "You are absolutely huge Liv."

"Hey!" Olivia laughed. "I'm pregnant I'm suppose to be huge." She smiled lowering herself on the couch.

"Yeah, but geez, how many kids you go it there?" She laughed sitting next to her.

"Doc says just one." Olivia reassured her. "Hey, Casey, how are you and Paul?"

Casey beamed at the mention of his name. "Good…really good were going to counseling."

"Really? I'm glad to hear that. Whose idea?" She asked.

"Ironically, his." Casey smiled. "He's changed so much, it's like falling in love with him all over again."

"Love? Huh- falling in love are we?" Olivia teased.

"I think were gonna make it Liv." She smiled.

"I'm so happy for you Casey." She smiled happy to see Casey didn't give up on her marriage. "I thought you were gonna kill me for setting you two up."

"Kill you? The thought crossed my mind at first but now I'm sure I owe you." Casey pulled her hair behind her ear.

"So?" Olivia raised her brow, "any shmeckin going on?" she teased as Casey blushed uncontrollably.

"Shmeckin?" Casey furrowed her brows smiling.

"Casey, you're holding out on me." Olivia pointed to her bright red face. "Well, I hope you enjoyed yourself." She smiled.

"It was amazing Olivia." She leaned back into the couch.

"Wow, must be some kisser." Olivia struggled to get up. Once she stood she stopped and turned to Casey, "Wow, wait a second, your' talking more than kissing aren't you?" She laughed.

Casey stood embarrassed. "Yeah…I though that's what you meant by shmeckin."

Olivia laughed hysterically as she walked into the kitchen. "Want something to drink."

"Water's good," Casey leaned against the counter. "Liv, he asked me to re-marry him since were divorced." Casey shook her head. "I guess I should have held onto those papers."

Olivia froze. "Um…so are you going to remarry him?"

"Yeah, I think so, counseling is helping us, I didn't realize he was so hurt when Sara died." Her smiled disappeared.

"Hey Casey, you're probably gonna kill me for this." Olivia placed her water on the counter.

"What?" Casey furrowed her brow. "What do you mean? What's wrong?"

Olivia took a breath and walking into the office she and Elliot worked in. She came back into the kitchen with a large manila envelope in her hand. "I may have overstepped my bounds, but I couldn't do it Casey, not after seeing him." She handed her the envelope.

Casey opened the enveloped slightly confused and pulled out the paperwork. "My divorce papers." Casey smiled "You never took them to the courthouse?"

"No, Casey, I'm sorry. I knew you guys belonged together." Olivia was serious. She didn't' know if Casey would appreciate what she'd done. "Are you upset?"

Casey laughed. "Are you kidding me? You just saved me a thousand dollars in filing fees and this means Paul and I are still married."

Olivia exhaled in relief. "I thought you'd be upset with me."

"Well, I would have killed you if it didn't work out." Casey smiled. "Thanks for looking out for me Olivia."

"Ah, Casey, you're always looking out for me, it was the least I could do to make you happy again." She took a sip of water and then frowned at Casey's sudden seriousness.

"Uh, oh, what's going on Casey?" Olivia asked.

"Liv, um…your gonna be pissed." Casey rubbed her neck.

"Let me decide, okay." She tried to be open, but hated it when people assumed she would react a certain way.

"I just got out of court today, um, Ganzner plead out." She searched Olivia's face for a reaction, but there was none.

"What he get?" Olivia asked gathering all the facts before responding.

"Three months in county for the impersonation and five years probation. I filed for a restraining order right after the deal was made."

"Restraining order?" Olivia questioned the need.

"I just wanted to be safe Liv."

"Okay, well, I hope he makes a lovely bride in Rikers." She turned placing her glass in the sink.

"Your not upset, I'd be pissed Liv." Casey was confused.

"I'm a little upset, but when you think about it…he was just incredibly stupid, he didn't know what Victor or Oliver would do." She shrugged her shoulders and reached for an apple when she suddenly grabbed her belly, "ahhh." She let out a small moan bracing herself against the counter.

"Liv?" Casey rushed to her, placed her hand on her back. "What's wrong?"

Olivia paused for a moment and straightened herself. "I'm okay, the kid just loves to kick my ribs I guess." She was half telling the truth. She had never felt a pain like that before, it felt like more than a kick but there was no use in worrying Casey when the pain had subsided.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm good." She changed the subject trying not to analyze the pain. "You ready for tomorrow Casey?"

Casey smiled, knowing she was changing the subject. "Yeah, are you?"

Olivia walked back to the living room lowering herself on the couch, her feet ached and her back was sore. "This kid is gonna be the death of me." She laughed nervously, not knowing if she was actually ready for Olivier's case.

Casey sat on the coffee table across from her. "You're gonna be fine Olivia, I prepped the hell out of you."

"I know, and thanks, I know you have a lot more cases." She rubbed her belly she had three more weeks until her due date. She couldn't wait until she and Elliot could hold their baby, but she just wanted the whole situation with Oliver to be over with.

"Liv, were gonna win." Casey placed her hand on Olivia's.

Olivia took a deep breath, "I hope so."

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Elliot walked happily into their home looking for Olivia. He laughed seeing her struggle to pull a pot form a bottom cupboard. Her stomach was in the way of everything. She bent and blindly felt for it.

"If you get any bigger, you won't see your own feet." He laughed reaching in and retrieving the pan, he placed it on the counter and brought her close to him.

"I haven't seen my own feet for two months." She reminded him with a smile.

"I missed you today." He kissed her.

"You've only been gone for eight hours." She smiled placing her hand on his chest.

"An agonizing eight hours." He kissed her again sliding his hand into her back pocket.

"Hey, what's going on?" She asked a little surprised by his advance. She searched his eyes and found a since of angst perhaps worry, she wasn't sure. "What happened?"

He took a breath holding her by the hips and resting his forehead against hers. "Is it that obvious?"

"Well, not that I mind your touch, but your usually not so intense off the bat…what happened?"

"Caught a new case today." He loosened his tie, his eyes were exhausted.

"What was it?"

"Husband beat the crap out of his pregnant wife." He lowered his head as she took him into her arms. Both were aware of the emotional agony cases could have if they hit too close. "She looked so much like you Liv, that it through me for a loop." He embraced her tighter.

"You would never hurt me Elliot." She spoke soothingly feeling the tense muscles in his back.

"I need to lay down." He spoke unwilling to release her.

"Come on." She led him quietly to their bed.

"El?" She called for him as she placed a fresh pair of boxers on the bed next to him and retrieved a T-shirt tossing them next to his boxers.

"Yeah." He responded pulling his pants off and changing. His body was exhausted, he was tired, and it was written all over his face no matter how much he tried to hide it.

"Tomorrow." She sat next to him placing her hand on his leg and resting against his shoulder.

"I know." He held her softly. "You okay?" He asked her kissing the top of her head.

"Yeah, are you?…You look beat." She kissed his cheek and stood allowing him to lay down.

"Lay with me Liv." It was the first time Elliot had actually asked her to stay with him. She positioned herself next to him allowing him to embrace her. "I would never hurt you Liv." He whispered into her ear.

She turned her face to him and smile, "You don't have to convince me, do you want to talk?" She asked knowing that sometimes it was just better to talk the case out.

Elliot put his hand on her belly tracing imaginary designs, and kissing her softly, "I just want to be with you." He wrapped his arms around her tightly. She felt his trepidation, his fear of the situation.

"Elliot? What aren't you telling me?" She questioned.

He took a deep breath and spoke honestly. "She lost the baby in the hospital."

"That's not us." She tried to assure him.

"I know, it was just that when I saw her, I knew that I wouldn't be able to make it if I lost you or our son." He rubbed her belly.

Olivia moved kissing him softly and them grabbing at the pain in her stomach. "ahhh." She sat up quickly. "El… uggggh." She gripped his hand.

"Liv, what is it?" His voice was intense. As quickly as the pain came it disappeared.

"N…nothing." She shook her head once she was sure the pain subsided. _What the hell_? She thought to herself. "I think Isabelle is going to be feisty." She forced a smile to mask her concern.

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Olivia took hold of Elliot's hand as the SVU crew stood behind them. It had rained making the gravesite muddy. Olivia wasn't sure if she was crying for her loss or the fact that she realized she would never hold her baby in her arms.

Slowly the tiny casket disappeared into the muddy hole. Elliot and Olivia would never see their child again. She sobbed uncontrollably as he held her. "I'm sorry." She managed through her sobs.

"Sorry? For what?" He asked as they began to shovel the dirt on the casket. Olivia observed and she wanted so badly to yell at them to stop, that her baby would be cold and alone if they continued.

"I should have told you I was experiencing pain, I didn't' know I was starting to miscarry.." Olivia was caught off guard when Elliot grabbed her forcefully by her shirt.

"You what?" He seethed. "You killed her!" He yelled at her. "You killed our baby Olivia!" He pulled his hand back in a fist. Olivia stared wide-eyed as it came to her…

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"ELLLLIIOOOTTT NOOOOO!" She yelled out sitting straight up in the bed. "DON'T" She yelled again as he jerked into wakefulness.

"Liv." He called her name as she yelled in her sleep. He took her hands, remembering the last time he'd tried to wake her. "Liv wake up!" He called out to her causing her eyes to jolt open.

"The baby." She began to cry feeling the bulge of her stomach. She was relieved to feel it, she sobbed as she turned to him.

"Come here." He wrapped his arms around her allowing her to curl her body into his embrace. "What was it?" he asked softly.

"I dreamt I lost our baby girl." She stared into the darkness allowing him to rock her and sooth her.

"He's still here Liv." He put his hand on her stomach. The baby eventually kicked, causing him to smile. "See, he's not going anywhere."

Olivia exhaled lying against the pillows again feeling the baby move reassured her that she was okay. It was probably a culmination of Casey stopping by, Elliot's case, and the fact that they would both be in court tomorrow that caused her to have a nightmare. "Elliot." She whispered his name, not wanting a response, just wanting to hear his name. He pulled her closer allowing her to return to her sleep in the safety of his arms.

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The alarm screamed for Olivia and Elliot to wake up. The morning had come much to early after the night had been so cruel to them. Elliot felt for the alarm clock and turned it off. He turned to see Olivia was still sleeping.

"Liv? Wake up Sweetheart." He grazed her cheek. "We'll be late." He kissed her mouth and went further along her neck. He found it fascinating to make love to her while she was half asleep. She stirred slightly and then smiled still half asleep as he moved his hand to her panties.

"If you do that," She opened her eyes, kissing him back. "Then we'll defiantly be late."

Elliot helped her out of bed, "Want the shower first?" he asked.

Olivia walked into the restroom as she spoke, "I was always taught to share Mr. Stabler."

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Elliot and Olivia stood in front of the courtroom doors. "I don't want to do this." Olivia had shocked Elliot with her words. He never told her she had too.

"Liv, only if you want too, you don't have to do this." He took hold of her hand.

"No one wants to do something like this, but I have to." She placed her hand on her stomach. This was no longer about Olivia. She was determined to get Oliver off the street for the safety of her baby.

"Ready?" Elliot asked.

No, she thought to herself, but she verbalized the opposite. Elliot and Olivia opened the courtroom door, ready to enter a room that possessed the ability to make their lives a living hell.


	81. Chapter 81 The truth doesn't lie

CHAPTER 81

The courtroom was entirely empty save Casey and Paul who sat talking quietly. Paul looked up to see Olivia and Elliot walking in.

"Casey, they're here." He motioned to them as they walked closer.

"Casey, where is everyone?" Olivia asked confused by the emptiness of the courtroom.

"Liv, there's a couple of things I have to tell you." Casey's voice was entirely serious.

Olivia sat in the pews behind Casey and braced herself for whatever Casey was going to say.

"Liv, the witnesses that are gonna be called today are going to do their best to slander you."

"I know that." Olivia spoke softly grabbing for the comfort of Elliot's hand.

"Olivia," Casey took a deep breath. "You can't close up on me, no matter how hard the question is okay?"

"I know, I won't." Olivia tried to reassure her.

"We wanted to know if Paul could sit in." Casey asked, no longer as a professional favor but a personal one. She had lost three cases in a row and needed her own moral support.

"Hey," Olivia smiled. "If he's what you need to win, he can sit second chair for all I care." She laughed, grateful they were sensitive enough to her privacy to ask permission.

"Liv?" Casey bowed her head. A sure sign she was going to drop a bomb shell.

"What is it Casey? What aren't you telling me?"

"I'm sitting second chair…I can't win this one alone Liv."

"What?" Elliot asked, "Casey, we trust you, not some lackadaisical ADA."

"Why didn't you say something Casey?" Olivia asked. She wasn't angry; she knew Casey did what she knew to be best.

"Liv – I met with the ADA as soon as I knew Oliver was gonna go to trial. I prepped you using the material the ADA thought was best." Casey stoked Olivia's arm. "You'll do fine Liv."

"You knew about this other ADA all this time?" Olivia asked irritated she'd been excluded.

"Liv, the defense knows you and I are friends…they'll use that against us. They'll more than likely say that were simply two vindictive individuals with too much power." Casey rubbed her neck understanding Olivia's frustration. "I needed someone who hasn't worked with you through all of this…I'm sorry Liv but I don't have a choice if you want to win."

"Who is it?" Olivia asked calming herself.

"I can't say, the ADA force me not to say anything…said you'd be pissed if you knew." Casey grimaced waiting for Olivia to loose her temper. Surely she deserved it.

"Oh fabulous." Olivia bowed her head pinching the bridge of her nose. "It had better not be O'Sullivan," She warned, "He's useless."

"I told you I found the best, you're gonna have to trust me Olivia." Casey looked pleadingly.

"Alright." Olivia exhaled grimacing at the pain within her stomach.

"You okay?" Elliot frowned.

"You still having pains Liv?" Casey asked equally concerned.

"What do you mean _still_?" Elliot turned to Olivia. "Have you been having pain before last night?"

"A little, the kid is moving all over the place. Apparently he thinks my ribs are monkey bars." She smiled exhaling through the pain. "I'm fine."

"You sure?" he asked again.

"Yeah, let's get this over with."

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In less than twenty minutes, Olivia found the courtroom suddenly full. Casey had filed a brief to ban the media in all forms from the courtroom, and while Casey didn't tell her exactly why, she was grateful nonetheless.

Olivia was shocked to see Oliver escorted into the courtroom wearing prison garb with shackles. Normally defendants were allowed to wear civilian clothing in the courtroom. When Oliver sat and the bailiff didn't remove the shackles it became apparent to Olivia that Casey must have successfully argues that he be restrained and denied the right to civilian attire.

"All rise, this court is now in session." The bailiff bellowed. "The Honorable Evelyn Lawrence presiding." The judge sat quickly allowing the courtroom to follow.

"Good Morning Ladies and Gentleman, who do we have as representation today?" She opened a file and looked at the defense attorney who rose confidently.

"Rene Chimera for the defense You're Honor." Her voice was gruff as if she were a heavy smoker. She dressed impeccably in a black Ralph Loren pantsuit and burgundy dress shirt.

"Very well Ms. Chimera, do you have a second chair?" Judge Lawrence asked.

"No Your Honor, that won't be necessary." Chimera responded.

"This is a pretty significant case, are you sure?" The judge asked again.

"Yes, Your Honor."

"Very well." She jotted information on a legal pad and turned to Casey who nervously tapped her pen. "And for the prosecution?" The judge asked beckoning Casey to stand.

"Casey Novak, second chair, Your Honor." She waited for the judge's reaction.

"Second Chair? Who's sitting first and why are they holding up my court room?" The judge spoke clearly irritated.

"Your Hon-" Casey was cut off as the courtroom doors opened.

"Ma'am" the judge addressed the new comer who walked boldly into the courtroom. "These proceedings are closed to the media." Without skipping a beat Olivia was startled as the woman walked past her placing her briefcase on the prosecutions table.

"Alexandra Cabbot for The People, I apologize for my tardiness Your Honor." As the judge chastised Alex, Olivia sat next to Elliot shocked, it seemed Casey was serious enough about winning to convince Alex to come out of witness protection to prosecute the case.

Elliot leaned over to Olivia "Guess that explains the media ban."

"She knew I wouldn't have agreed to bringing her back, that must be why she made Casey promise to be quiet." She whispered in response.

"Looks that way." He told her as he took hold of her hand.

"Are The People ready?" The judge asked.

"We are Your Honor." Alex's voice commanded attention.

"Very well, proceed."

"Thank you.' Alex rose placing her glasses on her face and approached the jury box.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the Jury," She began her opening arguments. "The case that will be argued before you today will be disturbing and perhaps distressing at best." She paced with her hands clasped behind her back, "The prosecution will show you that the defendant broke into Ms. Benson's apartment with the sole purpose of violently raping her and leaving her restrained to die."

Olivia sat and listened to Alex's outline in her opening argument. She may have been out of the courtroom for three years, but it didn't show. Her mere presence forced the Jury to take notice of what she said. Eventually Alex reclaimed her seat.

"Ms. Chimera, you're up." The Judge chirped.

"Thank you Your Honor." She stood slowly as if sizing up the jury. She walked to them slowly as a lion would its prey. When she was close enough, she pounced. "The prosecution did a great job in filling your minds with misconceptions about my client. The fact of the matter is that Ms. Benson was a promiscuous individual who didn't' want people to know she was willingly having sex with her own brother."

"Objection!" A man stood angrily to his feet in the pews. The outburst from the observer caused everyone to turn as the judge admonished him.

"What is you're name sir?"

"John Munch, Your Honor." He spoke bitterly. Olivia cringed but admired his boldness.

"Well, Mr. Munch, you have no legal grounds to object and furthermore there are no objections in opening arguments." The judge's voice grew stern. "Sit down Mr. Much and do not provoke me again." John reluctantly obeyed her order and sat slowly.

"Continue Ms. Chimers." She instructed.

Olivia had prepared herself for a variety of sleazy attacks but never one so vile. "_Chimera_?" She mulled the name over in her mind. If memory served her correctly, the term Chimera, in Greek Mythology, denoted a fire breathing she-monster with a lion's head, a goat's body and a serpent's tail. She exhaled, "_Fabulous_." She thought to herself sarcastically.

Elliot took her hand assuring her it would be okay. She started to have her doubts but it was too late. The 'she-monster' sat down resting for her next attack.

"The People call Olivia Benson to the stand." Alex said standing and waiting for Olivia to approach. She nervously adjusted the cuff to her pale pink maternity shirt and cautiously maneuvered her bulging body into the witness stand. The bailiff swore her in quickly, and she took her seat relieved to be off of her tired feet.

Olivia's belly forced her to sit with her legs open, she was grateful she opted for slacks at the last second. She stared shocked at Alex who neither blinked nor smiled but her eyes told her she was happy to see her again. She remained professional for the sake of the case.

"Please state your name and occupation for the record." Alex finally spoke beginning the dangerous dance.

"My name is Olivia Benson, I'm a detective assigned to the one-six." Her voice was unusually low. She was cradling her stomach protectively.

"Is Benson your legal name?" Alex asked in an effort to get everything in from of the jury. She didn't want any surprises; there could be no reason for the jury to doubt her.

"I'm married but legally my last name is still Benson."

"Why not take your husband's last name?"

"We work together…it would be confusing."

"You work together? Mrs. Benson, tell the jury who you are married to." Alex stood next to the jury box as Olivia shifted to look at them.

Olivia smiled freely speaking without fear of consequence. "I married my partner, Detective Stabler of the one-six."

"Your partner?" Alex pretended to be shocked. "Is that allowed?"

"My marriage was sanctioned by the Morris Commission."

"Mrs. Benson, when you married Detective Stabler were you a virgin?"

"Objection," The 'she monster' protested, "Relevance?"

"Your honor." Alex stood her ground. "Ms. Chimera's main theory is that Mrs. Benson willingly had sex with her client. It is imperative that I be able to refute that fallacy."

"I agree with The People. Ms. Chimera, you opened the door to this line of questioning, you'll have to deal with it. Continue Ms. Cabot."

"Please answer the question Mrs. Benson." Alex encouraged her.

"In my heart I was, but I guess technically you could say I wasn't." Olivia bit her lip. She knew this was coming but she always felt foolish telling people she'd waited until she was married. She felt old fashioned.

"Can you explain that to the jury Mrs. Benson?"

"Yes." Olivia turned to face the jury box. "The day the defendant attacked me I was twenty years old. I hadn't had sex with anyone before that." She bowed her head knowing what the next question would be. She had memorized the questions during the prepping sessions with Casey.

"What about after that night?" Alex's voice was soft already knowing the answer.

"The scars he left me with…" She fought back tears. "I didn't think anyone would want me, I felt ugly so I pulled away from any advances, I couldn't even look in a full length mirror until I was married."

"What happened the night you were raped Mrs. Benson?"

"Objection! We're not here for the alleged rape of Ms. Benson."

"I'll rephrase." Alex barked back as she walked to the defendant's table. She eyed the defense attorney as she asked Olivia, "What happened the night you were _tortured_, raped, _beaten and left for dead?" _She returned to Olivia only after she felt the defense attorney submit to her question.

Olivia spoke in detail about the attack focusing on the fact that the he tried to kill her; that she feared for her life. When he left her there bleeding from her wounds, she thought she would die. By the time Olivia was finished describing the account she was wiping the tears from her eyes with a Kleenex.

"Your Honor, I have no further questions at this time but The People reserve the right to recall the witness." Alex was playing her cards smart, if an issue arose from other testimony she would need Olivia to refute it.

"Very well, your witness Ms. Chimera."

"Ms. Benson," her voice was low her stature arrogant. "How old were you when you were allegedly attacked by my client."

"I was twenty when your client attacked me." Olivia was careful not to let the defense attorney play the political arena of hypothetical situations.

"And you hadn't lost your virginity?" She asked suspiciously

"No…. had you?" She kept her answers short but was irritated at the disbelief that she was not promiscuous.

The 'she monster' evaded Olivia's remark. "A gorgeous woman like you? I find that difficult to believe."

"Objection." Casey protested. "Badgering"

"Sustained – watch your step Ms. Chimera." The judge warned.

"How old are you now Ms. Benson?"

"It's _Mrs_. Benson and I'm thirty-three."

"So, no sex for thirteen years?" She furrowed her brow.

"Objection,' Casey shrieked again "She's badgering the witness Your Honor."

"I'll allow it for now."

Olivia smiled recognizing the attorney's train of thought. "Actually it's only twelve years. I've been married for almost a year."

"Seems odd for an attractive woman not to date." The attorney tried to bait her.

Olivia scoffed. "Seems odd for a defense attorney to wear a Ralph Loren suit and a Kathy Lee shirt, but I'm not coming down on you," She smiled, "Besides, I said I never had sex, I didn't say I never dated."

"Oh, my apologies, how many Ms. Benson?"

"Excuse me?" Olivia asked incredulously, Elliot hadn't even asked her such pointed questions, who was she?

"How many boyfriends have you had Ms. Benson?" She asked again.

"Again, its _Mrs_. Benson and I've had three."

"Just three?"

Olivia shifted in her seat irritated with the line of questioning "Objection – relevance?" Alex jumped in before Olivia answered.

"Your honor, I'm trying to establish a sexual history that may prove our theory that Ms. Benson has had sexual partners and it is therefore plausible that she willingly had sex with her brother and then framed him."

Judge Lawrence thought for a moment. "I'll allow it."

"Ms. Benson, answer the question." The attorney rested her forearm on the witness stand.

"I will, just as soon as you get my name right." Olivia stared at her. It wasn't hard; the 'she monster' was simply trying to shake Olivia.

"Mrs. Benson, answer the question." She finally got it right.

"Yes, just three," She smiled, "Unless, your talking about Cory Picino."

Alex leaned to Casey, "Who the hell is that?"

Casey shrugged, "She's never mentioned him, I don't know."

"Who?" The 'she monster' questioned being taken aback.

"Cory Picino." Olivia smiled slyly. "We were quit the item in first grade but I had to cut him loose due to his nose picking." Olivia arched her brow clearly irritated with the attorney and pleasantly pleased with herself. Elliot laughed to himself, watching the pit bull emerge from Olivia.

The 'she monster' sized Olivia up again. "You never slept with these men?" She asked.

"I've already told you, the only person I've been with is my husband. Write it down if you have to." Olivia snapped. She felt her body sweat, she was tired, feeling ill and her abdomen was killing her.

"Have these men seen you naked?"

"No." Olivia blushed.

"Felt you up?"

"No." Olivia clenched her jaw.

The attorney smiled at Olivia. "Are you The Virgin Mary?"

"OBJECTION!" Alex and Casey yelled simultaneously.

"I'm Olivia Benson, check your file." She smiled.

"Approach the bench!" The judge barked. She waited until the defense attorney was close. "You make one more comment like that, to a victim in my court room and I will have your ass!" She waved her gavel at the 'She monster' while she admonished her.

"Sorry, Your Honor."

"I'm not the one you need to apologize too." The judge motioned to Olivia who was exhaling and grimacing in pain again.

"Mrs. Benson." The attorney walked to her. "I apologize for my remark." Her words were cold and meaningless.

Olivia rubbed her belly, "I'm sure you are."

"Ms….er….Mrs. Benson, do you know a Nick Ganzner?"

"Yes.'

"Is he one of the three people you want this court to believe you dated?"

"He is one of the three…as far as the court goes, the truth doesn't lie." Olivia refused to back down from this creature that chose to attack her.

"Did he ever try anything with you?"

"We dated," Olivia shifted, "We kissed, he wanted more, I told him to leave." She gave a bare bones description of what really happened in the apartment that night.

"Do you know a Brian Cassidy?" The attorney was reading form a legal pad.

Olivia froze. "Yes,"

"Anything happen with him?"

Olivia's breathing increased. "We slept in the same bed together once…nothing more, nothing less." She made her thoughts perfectly clear.

"You slept in a bed with an available man and nothing happened?" The attorney questioned.

"We both were drunk, my couch was being reupholstered." She began to grind her teeth.

"Detective Stabler would have been the third boyfriend correct?"

"Yes."

"Two men from the same precinct? Are you what some may call a 'locker room whore Mrs. Benson?"

"OBJECTION!" Alex yelled.

"Withdrawn." The attorney spoke.

"Ms. Chimera." Olivia spoke slowly without regards for the courts regulations. She knew the attorney was trying to bait her, trying to make her look bad. "A whore is one who has sex with multiple partner's for payment, that can't be me, because I've told you repeatedly that my husband has been the only one."

"And why is that Mrs. Benson? Why does one seclude her self form the world, from the possibility of love, if she isn't hiding something?"

"Because I _was_ hiding something…the scars your client carved into my body." Olivia bit her lip. "Or perhaps you want to know about my mother slapping me around, telling me I was ugly, telling me she hated me…is that what you want me to tell you? Perhaps you're looking for my mother taking a swing at me with a glass bottle? Trust isn't real high on my 'to do' list; there are extreme few I allow in my life. Your client stole my dignity. Don't you dare question my decision to choose carefully who I gave my body to."

"Did you give your body to my client?"

"What did I just tell you?"

"Answer the question."

"NO!" Olivia's voice was rising. "Your client knocked me out, raped me, and left me to die." Olivia was stuck between crying and yelling. She stopped, taking a breath to regain her composure.

Olivia caused the attorney to pause dead in her line of questioning. "Nothing further." She whispered, reclaiming her seat as she looked carefully at Olivia.

"You may step down Mrs. Benson." The judge spoke calmly.

Olivia returned to her seat hoping to find Elliot's embrace when Casey called him to the stand.

"Mr. Stabler, is Mrs. Benson your wife?" She asked.

"Yes." He said looking at Olivia with a smile.

"Was she a virgin when you married her?"

"Except for the rape, yes." He responded honestly.

"How do you know?"

"Olivia doesn't lie, she would have told me if she weren't and the medical file from her rape kit stated that her hymen had been torn." He spoke trying to remain in detective mode. He hated having to lay Olivia's life out on 'bare street'.

"Mr. Stabler," Casey paced. "The defense has tried to paint your wife as a whore, as a harlot. How long have you known her?"

"We've been partner's for eight years, dated for two, married for just under one." He smiled.

"How long did it take for her to go out with you?"

Elliot smiled. "I lost count after about that thousandth time I asked her."

"So it's safe to say, she's scared of intimacy?" Casey offered.

"Yes." He regretted having to say it.

"How long until she allowed you to hold her hand?"

"Five weeks." He blushed remembering how he felt like he was king when she finally allowed him to take hold of something as simple as her hand.

"First kiss?" Casey asked.

"Right around there I think." He struggled for an exact date.

"What did she do when you proposed?"

"She ran from me." He furrowed his brows remembering how painful that was.

"First time you made love to her?" Casey asked as she looked at the jury box.

"She was hesitant, asked me not to hurt her." He lowered his voice. "She didn't want to undress in front of me, didn't make a sound."

Olivia sat as silent tears graced her face. She had pushed Elliot away time and time again and he kept coming back to love her more and more.

"Why wouldn't a wife want to be naked in front of her husband?" Casey asked.

Elliot suddenly snapped. "Because he mutilated her, why do you think?" He felt the warmth in his face.

"So, detective, in your opinion, a woman who does all of these things that Mrs. Benson has done, would she be considered promiscuous, or 'a locker room whore'?"

Elliot faced the jury box, "Absolutely not!"

One by one witness after witness was paraded in front of the court. Mostly character witnesses to refute the fact that she would ever willingly have sex with her brother or frame him for her attempted murder, as well as the murder and rapes of several other women. She was blessed to hear the comments coming from her supporters but as the pain in her abdomen increased, she wondered when it would all be over.

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Olivia glanced at the alarm clock. 2:00am. Elliot and Olivia had been so tired from day after day of the being in the courtroom that they'd went to bed early, however; Olivia found herself wide awake. Court had been exceptionally cruel over the last few days, She was still upset that the defense seemed more interested in her sex life than the fact that Oliver had tried to kill her.

Olivia blinked back tears remembering the eleven women who testified on her behalf. While the statute of limitations had unfortunately expired, yet they bravely took the stand seeking justice in some form even if it would come through Olivia. As grateful as she was, she thought she would vomit when each woman testified that he referred to her as 'Olivia' during the attack.

She let out a quiet sob trying not to disturb Elliot. The testimony regarding the young woman he murdered in memory of Olivia crushed her spirit. Watching the family weep openly in the court as the medical examiner testified and sifted through pictures threatened to kill her soul. She knew she was the cause of their pain and she began to hate herself for it.

Elliot stirred slightly causing Olivia to turn and face him. She hoped he would have stirred awake. She wanted so badly to be held and affirmed by him in that moment. She was disappointed to see him still asleep but was perfectly content with the opportunity to watch him as he slept. She touched his face softly feeling the rhythm of his breath cascade over her face.

Olivia took Elliot's limp hand in her own and held against her cheek as he continued to rest. She knew that if she had thought the prosecutions arguments were painful, it was going to get worse when the defense's arguments began tomorrow morning.

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"Ms. Chimera, is the defense ready?" Judge Lawrence asked as the courtroom busied itself again.

"We are Your Honor."

"And how long should I anticipate you holding up my calendar?"

"Just today, Your Honor, if the prosecutions cooperates." Ms. Chimera responded confidant she could present what she needed in one day.

"Excuse me?" The judge was shocked.

"The facts are pretty clear in this case, Your Honor." Chimera spoke sarcastically.

"Very well, you may begin." The judge leaned back ready to preside over the proceedings.

"The defense calls Brian Cassidy to the stand."

Olivia felt the bile rise in her throat as Elliot shifted in his seat. The 'She Monster' approached the witness stand. "Please state your name for the record."

"My name is Brian Cassidy." His voice was still a split between boyish and gruff.

"Mr. Cassidy, do you know Mrs. Benson?"

"Yes."

"How?" She pushed for details.

"We were former colleague." He adjusted the tail of his tie as he shifted in the seat.

"How long did you work with her?"

"About a year."

"And in that year, had she dated anyone?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"Me." He spoke arrogantly

"Really? She testified nothing happened between you two. Why would she say that?" Chimera pretended to be confused.

"In my opinion," He smiled ruthlessly. "Olivia has a hard time grasping reality."

"I see, did you have a romantic relationship with Mrs. Benson?"

"Yes, we were intimate if that's what you mean." He turned to face Olivia and smiled sadistically.

"Nothing further." The attorney sat, but before she did, she managed to give Alex her best dirty look.

"Your witness Ms. Cabot." The judged made a notation in her file and waited for Alex.

"Mr. Cassidy-" Alex flipped through a file as she spoke but was caught off by the witness.

"Please, call me, Brian." He smiled with a psuedo sense of chivalry.

Alex looked at him intently knowing full well he was simply detestable. "Mr. Cassidy," She continued, "You said you were sexually intimate with Mrs. Benson?"

"That's correct." He smiled.

"How many times?" Alex folded her arms setting the trap to catch the weasel.

"Several, we didn't date long, I didn't keep count." He stammered.

"Five?" Alex suggested trying to pin him to a definite number. "Over ten? Less than ten?"

"Over ten." He said in the typical male form. Alex had a feeling if she'd said 'over a hundred.' He would have happily agreed.

"Was she naked?" Alex walked closer to the witness stand with her weapon in hand.

"Well, that's usually what happens Alex-"

"It's Ms. Cabot or counselor, were not friends Mr. Cassidy, answer the question, was Olivia naked during any of these alleged sexual encounters?" her voice rose gradually before she fell silent waiting for his response.

"Of course she and I were both naked."

"Where's her birth mark at?" Alex asked pretending to genuinely care.

Perhaps no one thought it could be possible for Brian Cassidy to become any whiter, however, when all the color left his face, he thought he would die. "On….um…it's a on her thigh." He mumbled.

Alex shook her head, neither confirming nor correcting his answer. "What's on her stomach? Is it a tattoo a surgical scar? What?" She asked providing more bait.

Brian Casey remained silent.

"Answer the question Mr. Cassidy."

"I don't remember?"

"Really? Seems to me if you've had sex with someone over ten times you would remember," Alex walked to a display of very large photographs and took the cover board off. "Something as gruesome as this." The jury gasped at the picture of Olivia's mutilated abdomen.

"Does it ring a bell Mr. Cassidy?" She spoke angrily knowing he wouldn't respond. "Perhaps this one does?" She removed the previous picture to expose the next. One gruesome picture of Olivia's battered body after another was show.

"The truth Mr. Cassidy is that you pursued her and when she turned you down you were offended weren't you?" Alex barked walking quickly back to the stand and invading his space. "You wanted her so badly that when she turned you down you tried to make her personal life hell."

Cassidy tried to defend himself. "That's not tr-"

"She turned you down Mr. Cassidy!" Alex leaned close but spoke loud enough for the court to hear. "And this is your revenge isn't it?"

"Objection!"

"Overruled."

"Nothing further." Alex returned to her seat.

"Mr. Cassidy," The judge looked at him with disdain. "You disgust me young man. You paraded into my courtroom and deliberately muddied this young woman's reputation for the sake of your own ego. I'm fining you in contempt of court. You may post bail or spend the night at the lovely state accommodations, I detest perjury Mr. Cassidy, remember that when your sleeping on a cot tonight." She hit her gavel and called for the bailiff. Cassidy put up a small struggle but eventually succumbed to the bailiff.

Olivia shifted in her heat and grabbed Elliot's hand tightly wincing as she rubbed her belly.

"Liv?"

"I'm okay," She spoke with sunken eyes. Her skin was clammy but Elliot could tell by her touch that she was burning up.

"We should go." Elliot whispered.

"No! I'm fine." She said trying to sound convincing. "I'm okay." She squeezed his hand again and refocused her attention on the attorney's.

Chimera stood to her feet clearly shaken. What she thought would be a slam-dunk case, may turn out to be otherwise.

"The defense calls, Nick Ganzner to the stand."

"Oh you can't be serious." Olivia shook her head. "Here we go again."

"Good thing you only dated three guys Liv…we could have been her all night." He smiled hoping to relieve her pain. She returned his smile with one of her own, but her shaking body told a different story.

Ganzner sat quickly allowing the 'she monster' to get the introductions out of the way and go straight to business.

"Have you had sex with Mrs. Benson?"

"No.'

"Really? Why not? You stated you dated her." Chimera leaned against her table.

"She's about as cold as an ice witch's titty in a brass bra." He smirked.

"What do you mean?"

"You couldn't even touch her without her tensing up or trying to squirm away from you." He furrowed his brows. "It got old quick, so I left her."

"Nothing further." The defense attorney sat down.

Casey rose to her feet and started her verbal assault as soon as she'd straightened herself. "Mr. Ganzner, why was Mrs. Benson, so scared to be intimate with you? Did you do something to cause her not to trust you?"

"No."

"I see, you were a saint then?"

"Objection!"

"Withdrawn." Casey walked back to her table retrieving a file. "Do you remember the 'subway rapist'?" She asked holding it out but not offering it to him.

"Yes." He responded in more a questioning tone.

"Were you dating Mrs. Benson at the time you wrote this article?" She placed the file in front of him.

"Yes."

"Isn't it true Mrs. Benson left you after you wanted to pretend to be the subway rapist?" Casey was completely in his personal space, leaning over the witness box.

"She needed to learn to relax!" He shouted back realizing he would gain no footing.

"How convenient…convince a rape victim to relive her pain. You're a real catch!"

"Objection!"

"Withdrawn." She bowed her head thinking of another course of action.

"Where are you employed?" She asked.

"I'm currently unemployed."

"You were terminated from the New York Post weren't you?"

"Yes." He bowed his head.

"Why?"

"Detectives Benson and Stabler arrested me and they axed me the next day." He clenched his jaw.

"Were you upset?" Casey asked.

"Hell yes, it was the second time she'd stormed into my office and made a scene." He snapped.

"So, is it safe to say your trying to retaliate?" Casey asked.

"Objection!"

"Withdrawn, nothing further."

"Next witness Ms. Chimera."

"The defense calls Oliver Lias to the stand." The defense attorney looked directly at Casey and Alex. It was considered gutsy to put the defendant on the stand.

Oliver shuffled to the stand and sat smiling at Olivia and waving with his cuffed hands. If it wasn't for the fact that the room was spinning and she felt as though she were going to combust it would have bothered her but she was feeling more ill with every witness.

"Mr. Lias," The defense attorney spoke and rambled on and on focusing on the crime scenes, DNA and various other things that Olivia couldn't focus on. After only an hour on the stand Olivia finally heard the question she knew was coming.

"Mr. Lias, have you ever had sex with Mrs. Benson." Olivia cringed while she waited for the answer.

"Yes, she invited me over." He smiled.

"She's your sister is she not?"

"Yes, but she said that since we didn't know each other she didn't care." He bit his lip and smiled as if he were Satan himself.

Elliot turned to see Olivia fighting back tears, her head bowed and hands trembling. There was nothing her could do except wrap his arm around her and pull her tightly to him. She rested her hand on his shoulder as she heard Oliver's twisted version of what happened.

"She wanted me, she begged me." He laughed. "The broad was insatiable."

Olivia squeezed Elliot tighter wanting to disappear into his body. Anything to get out of the room.

"Nothing further."

"She wanted you?" Alex stood to her feet. "She begged you?" she folded her arms. "Tell me something, did she beg you to mutilate her?"

Oliver stared at Alex as she continued. "Did she beg for you to burn her? Maybe she begged you to crack her skull open?"

Oliver snarled. "Shut your mouth."

"Excuse me?" Alex looked at Oliver and then the judge.

"Mr. Lias, you're doing yourself a disservice in my courtroom." Judge Lawrence spoke up. "Continue Ms. Cabot."

"I'm not sure Ms. Benson willingly had sex with you." Alex smiled casting her pole into the waters.

"Why's that?" His eyes blinked evil.

"Well, usually, women of her caliber don't date scum."

"Objection – badgering."

"Withdrawn." She smiled knowing the damage was already done, his fuse was lit, and it was just a matter of time.

"Mrs. Benson said the attack didn't last long…does that mean, perhaps you weren't man enough to keep it up? You know…since she wanted you so bad?" She spoke sarcastically.

"The slut wanted me!" he barked.

"Really? Tell me something?" Her voice crescendo quickly, "When she was yelling for you to stop…when she was yelling that it hurt? Why didn't you?"

Oliver stammered.

"Answer the question!" Alex growled bracing herself against he witness stand. "You know she didn't want you, you know you raped her and left her for dead!"

"Objection!"

"No one wants you do they Oliver!" She yelled over the objections.

"Objection! Your honor"

Alex went for the jugular and refused to release until the judge commanded her. "Your mother gave you up and kept Olivia! She's better than you Oliver!" Alex was yelling over the sound of the judge's gavel.

"Ms. Cabot!"

"That pissed you off didn't it…your own father couldn't stand the sight of your pathetic face." She continued with her verbal assault.

"Ms. Cabot!" The judge yelled again.

Alex knew she was close just one more cheap shot to set the hook and reel him in. "You raped and beat your own sister just like your father raped you!" She leaned closer. "How does it feel for everyone to know you were raped?" The hook was set.

Oliver stood quickly to his feet, lunging over the banister at Alex. Within seconds he'd taken her to the floor. "I'll kill you just like I did the girl!" He kneed her viciously in the ribs.

"Ugggh," She turned to defend herself as the bailiffs pried him off of her.

"I'll nail you just like Olivia, you're a whore! Your all whores!" He yelled kicking with his shackled feet. "They deserved it, they wanted me!" he yelled, "I'm gonna kill you Olivia, you can't get away from me!" He continued yelling as the bailiff's drug him behind a door, his screams muffled but still audible.

Elliot felt Olivia's shaking body and kissed her softly on her head. She was still hot if not hotter. She had sweat through her shirt, a reaction uncharacteristic to her. He released her hoping to allow her to cool.

The bailiff managed to get Alex to her feet. She adjusted her hair and her suit and reclaimed her seat. As the judge finally got the court back in order.

"Ms. Cabot! Your behavior is deplorable!" The judged barked.

"Motion for a mistrial Your Honor." Chimera addressed the court.

Judge Lawrence looked pensively between the attorneys and Olivia. "While I disagree with Ms. Cabot's tactics, I disagree with a mistrial. Your motion is denied."

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"Elliot?" Olivia struggled to get his name out.

"Yeah? What is it Liv?" He asked lowering her to the first bench they came across.

"Can you get me a water, I'm feeling like crap." She licked her dry lips.

Elliot retrieved the cone shaped paper cup form the water dispenser and filled it to give to Olivia. She looked terrible with dark circles under her eyes. Her breathing had become shallow.

"Liv," Elliot crouched in front of her. "I've never given birth," he smiled, "but are you in labor?"

Olivia forced a smile, "No, I don't think so, I just really feel sick." She brushed her hand over his face softly and rested her head against the wall as she heard his cell phone ring.

"Stabler…all ready?…okay." He returned the phone to his pocket.

"Liv… the verdicts in."


	82. Chapter 82 The Verdict's in

CHAPTER 82

Olivia sat nervously as the jury filed back into the courtroom. In a matter of minutes she would know if going through with the trial was worth it. She folded her hands over her stomach, a motion she'd consistently performed. Elliot found it curious even a little sexy at how protective she had become of the baby. It was a definite change from the terror he saw on her face when she'd told him she was pregnant.

While Elliot would never have told her he had been scared when she'd told him she was going to abort, he knew that he had been terrified and in fact, he'd cried holding her as she slept. He was nervous the first couple months of the pregnancy, the reaccurring dream of her coming home no longer pregnant plagued him. It wasn't until she started showing that Elliot felt completely at peace that she would keep the baby.

It had taken, literally, years for her to go out with him. He patiently waited until she was ready to make love to him and he enjoyed countless nights where he simply sat and watched her sleep. Elliot took her hand into his resting it in his lap and covering it with his other hand. He leaned close to her and whispered softly. "Whatever happens today Olivia, I love you and were gonna make it together!" he kissed her softly on the cheek and waited to hear the jury's decision, would they believe Oliver's attorney who made Olivia into something less than the honorable woman she was or did Casey and Alex expose the defenses' lies. They would soon find out.

"Has the Jury reached a verdict?" The judge asked leaning forward.

"We have Your Honor." A young man, perhaps only in his early twenties stood as the foreman. Olivia searched his face and read his body language for anything that may give her an inside track into their decision, yet he telegraphed no movements.

"Very well, bailiff please take the verdict." The judge straightened a form on the bench as the bailiff handed her the folded piece of paper as if it were a simple letter. The judge unfolded it and read it carefully offering no hint to what was written. She simply made a few quick notations on the forms she'd previously straightened and handed the paper back to the bailiff.

"Will the defendant please rise." The Judge instructed Oliver, who now had three bailiffs behind him in case of another outburst. As Oliver rose he turned to look at Olivia and was turned back around with a sharp warning from the oldest of the three bailiffs. Olivia would have to remember to thank him for his kindness.

"Before, the jury reads the verdict I want to remind the defense that you may wish to have the recommendation of sentencing read today or you may wish to have it done at sentencing, what would your client like Ms. Chimera?" The judge asked poised to write.

"If it pleases The People, we would like the recommendation today Your Honor…not that we'll need one." She smiled at Alex who rolled her eyes.

"Very well," She spoke before turning back to the jury. "Mr. Foreman, you may read the verdict."

The young man made no effort to look at anyone in the courtroom but read the verdict out loud.

"We The Jury in the of the above entitled matter of The People vs. Oliver Lias, A.K.A Oliver Benson, A.K.A Victor Lias Jr. Do find the defendant guilty…"

Olivia sat nauseated as the young man read guilty verdicts for the rape victims all of which were present in the courtroom weeping into the arms of their families and friends. She was beginning to think they'd forgotten about her particular charge of attempted murder when they pronounced a guilty verdict for the family of the murdered victim. "Come on already." She mumbled out loud as Elliot kept hold of her.

"Regarding the charge under penalty code 149.27, the attempted murder of Olivia Benson, we the jury find the defendant…"

Deafening silence ensued in the fraction of a second it took the foreman to draw a breath. "Guilty."

Olivia closed her eyes relief washed over her body as she leaned into Elliot and sobbed. It would be the first time Olivia had sobbed openly in public since the day he had met her.

"Very well, what is the Jury's recommendation?" The judge asked.

"Your Honor, due to particular circumstances of the cases, the violence and unrepentfull nature of the defendant…the jury recommends the death penalty."

"Very well, sentencing hearing will be held next Monday. I'm ordering the defendant assigned to the department of corrections…"

Olivia was vaguely aware of what the judge was saying but she chose to remain in the safety of Elliot's arms; a lifetime of hurt finally breaking through and falling from her eyes.

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"Ms. Novak!" Renee Chimera called out in the hallway of the courthouse. Casey turned forcing Paul to stop and turn with her. Not knowing what to expect Casey put on her fight face.

"It's _Mrs_. Novak and what do you need?" Paul smiled at Casey's correction, surely she had aquired a taste for Olivia's wit.

"What is it with the salutations?" Chimera raised her hands in surrender.

"What do you want Renee?" Casey asked sternly.

"Is Olivia going to be okay?" Chimera's voice was compassionate.

"Excuse me?" Casey folded her arms. "What the hell do you care? You drug her through the mud for no reason, who cared if she'd had sex with one person or a hundred people, she was a _victim_ Renee!" Casey hissed in a stern whisper so passerby's couldn't hear.

"Casey, before you take my head off ask yourself if it wasn't a little _too_ easy to beat me." Her voice was suddenly friendly. "I've never lost a case Casey, and I could have mopped the floor with you had I wanted too."

"Paul, will you excuse us?" Casey asked him careful to modify her tone.

"Sure, I'll have a cab wait for us." He kissed her on the cheek and left.

"What are you telling me?" Casey furrowed her brow.

"I see every piece of evidence you do Casey; I read her personnel file, I saw the picture in her medical file. When I confronted Lias with it he confessed to me." Chimera lowered her head.

"But it's protected under privilege." Casey followed the woman's logic.

"Exactly." She stepped closer to Casey speaking even softer. "I've never taken a case I couldn't win…I could have won this one Casey…" she stopped hoping she wouldn't have to spell it out for Casey.

" But you made sure you didn't." Casey completed Chimera's thought. "You could be disbarred." Casey reminded her.

"I trust your not saying anything _Mrs_. Novak." Renee smiled and turned, disappearing into the crowd.

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Olivia entered the comfort of her home exhausted. "El, I'm gonna lay down, is that okay?"

"Absolutley, I have some stuff to do around the house." He smiled and kissed her softly. "It's all over now Liv." He held her by her waist, as large as she was he found it surprising he could still hold her. Olivia stared intently at him, making him slightly nervous.

"What?" he blushed. Olivia remained silent placing her hands about his face and drawing him into a soft kiss. There was something different, something entirely submissive about Olivia. She wasn't fighting, the constant clashing of her heart and mind seemed to finally cease. She simply enjoyed him. She pulled back slowly, keeping her eyes closed she leaned against his forehead. "I'm gonna take a nap," She smiled. "See you at dinner." She broke his embrace and returned to the bedroom to sleep.

Elliot opened the back door allowing 'Team CrackerJack', who were now the two fattest beagles imaginable access to the house. "Keep the noise down, your mom's sleeping." He rubbed their bellies quickly and retreated to the office to try and catch up on the mounds of paper work that had accumulated since the trial began.

As he sifted through the paperwork he heard the shrill of Cracker's bark. He knew it wasn't Jack, he was the good dog. Cracker on the other hand seemed to prefer the evil twin routine. Elliot moved quickly not wanting the barking to wake Olivia.

"Cracker, quiet." He commanded as he walked down the hall. The barking continued drawing Elliot into the bedroom where Olivia should have been but the bed was empty, in fact it looked as though she never laid down at all. Her sleep attire was still at the foot of the bed. Cracker continued his barking fiasco as the hair on Elliot's neck stood on end. He walked slowly to the master bathroom.

Elliot found Cracker frantically barking at the threshold of the door. He furrowed his brows and walked into the restroom where Jack was whimpering next to an unconscious Olivia who was laying on the bathroom floor.

"CrackerJack, Out!" Elliot yelled forcing the puppies to flee. He knelt quickly taking her head into his hands. "Liv? Liv?" he shook her cautiously. Her breathing was shallow, her pulse almost impossible to find. "Liv?" He tried to get her attention again as he frantically retrieved her cell phone from her pocket.

"This is Detective Stabler, badge number six, three, seven, four, I need a bus." Elliot gave the address and description of his wife to the dispatcher. He placed the phone on the counter and picked Olivia up with one hand under her neck and the other at her thighs. "Let's go sweetheart." He spoke to her still trying to bring her to.

Elliot placed her gently on the bed speaking to her in hopes of her awakening. "Honey, the bus is coming." He said moving her slightly on the bed. Elliot's heart sunk when he noticed the red stain that soiled the white comforter. He looked at his hands. The one that held Olivia at her thighs was stained red. Olivia was hemoraging.

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Elliot found himself anxiously awaiting Casey and the rest of the crew, in the emergency room's waiting area. He kicked himself and chastised himself for his stupidity for not forcing Olivia to see a doctor when she was experiencing the pain.

"Elliot!" Casey moved quickly to him, Paul hot on her heels. "Where is she? How's the baby?"

Elliot shook his head. "They havn't told me anything. They're trying to stabilize her right now."

"What can we do for you Elliot?" Paul offered his help in anyway he could. He hadn't known Elliot or Olivia for a long time but they had saved his marriage and he owed them anything they wanted or needed.

Elliot blinked back tears as Casey sat next to him. "Olivia is way to stubborn Elliot, she's gonna be fine." Casey soothed him.

"I can't loose them." Elliot spoke referring to both Olivia and the baby. Something within Elliot knew if the baby died, Olivia would too, perhaps not physically but defiantly emotionally. It seemed the world was a special kind of cruel when it came to Olivia.

"Mr. Stabler?" A doctor walked quickly to him. A sure sign things weren't going well. His stomach knotted up and he wondered if that was close to the same pain Olivia experienced. Perhaps she thought she was simply nervous because of the case.

"That's me, how is she?" He asked impatiently.

"Sir, we're having trouble getting her stabilized…the baby's heart rate is off the charts we have to do a C-section now." The doctor's voice was tense perhaps unconsciously matching the situation.

"Do it!" Elliot barked wondering why the doctor was wasting precious time.

"Sign this giving us the consent." The doctor thrust a pen and paper to him. He took it and scribbled lines that were unreadable.

Elliot sat down again, crying as Captain Cragen walked into the waiting area.

"I came as soon as I heard, how is she?" he asked and then exhaled deeply seeing Elliot weep.

Casey filled the Captain in offering her seat next to Elliot. Cragen sat slowly and wrapped his fatherly arms around Elliot. "You know that Olivia isn't just gonna give up. She's too damn stubborn." He held the man he considered to be his son tightly fighting back his own tears as he thought about loosing the woman he considered his daughter, and he precious life he'd already knew to be his grandchild.

Nearly an hour later no one had come to inform Elliot of Olivia's status or the baby's.

"What's taking so long?" Elliot snapped as he paced in the waiting room.

"Elliot, they'll come when they can." Casey tried to sooth his ache, but from experience she knew it would be impossible.

"Mr. Stabler?" The doctor entered shaking his head.

Elliot tried to keep his balance as the room spun. "I want to see my wife." He asked. It was his only way of asking if she were alive. He could bare to ask if she were dead.

"Sir, your wife is in the recovery room she's doing exceptionally well although she's tired. As soon as we got her stabilized with the right medication we performed the operation. You have a stubborn wife Mr. Stabler." The doctor offered him a light at the end of the tunnel but Elliot was looking for the train. "She's already trying to wake up, she's asking for you."

"My baby?" Elliot asked.

"The Baby, is having some test done right now…there were some things hat bothered us." The doctor was honest.

"What do you mean?" Elliot clenched his jaw.

"The baby's heart stopped beating for about forty-eight seconds, it's not abnormal, but it's not normal either. We're just assessing the entire situation…which brings me to something else."

"What!" Elliot growled.

"I'm not sure how your gonna feel about this sir,"

"Say it damnit." Elliot's anxiety was through the roof.

"The date she had on her abdomen…"

"What about it?"

"Anytime you do an emergency surgery things can go wrong. Whatever that date signified to her it won't be there when she sees it."

"What?" Elliot was confused but happily so, perhaps God was smiling down on Olivia after all.

"The incision to get to the baby was made directly over a large portion of the scar. When we sewed the excess skin we had to trim things up and the date was what went, a plastic surgeon will have to reconstruct the design if she wants it again." The doctor spoke unaware of the meaning behind the scar.

"I hope that's not your sexual preference when she's pregnant Mr. Stabler." The doctor misspoke but Elliot offered him grace…something Olivia had taught him.

"Where is she?" Elliot spoke with the need to see her.

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Nearly one hour later Elliot walked into Olivia's hospital room. She lay sleeping peacefully in the bed with a white blanket over her legs. It looked as though she had pushed the covers off of her stomach. Perhaps the weight irritated her incision. Elliot took her hand softly and kissed it. The extreme bulge that was once her stomach had been reduced to nothing more than a puff. He kissed her softly on the mouth allowing her to stir in his presence.

"Hey," She smiled faintly, her voice tired and groggy. He was certain the anesthesia had something to do with that.

"Hey." He smiled as his eyes pooled.

Olivia looked at him and was alarmed at his expression. "Elliot…where's our baby?" She asked

"Shh, don't worry they'll bring the baby in when it's time." He brushed her hair behind her ear.

"You scared me Olivia." His face was contorted in pain.

"I'm sorry…I needed to take the Ipod off of the baby and when I walked into the restroom everything went black." She struggled to sit up.

"Ipod? What are you talking about?" He asked wondering just what kind of meds they'd given her.

"Remember in the courtroom when Victor shot himself and I asked if you thought the baby could hear it?" She refreshed his mind before exposing her motive.

"I was reading a book that said babies could hear at that level…I didn't want our baby to hear about Oliver, I knew they would try and make me look like a whore." She shook her head. "I taped the ear buds to my belly so the baby couldn't hear what was happening in the court. Classical music for babies." She smiled. " I know it sounds stupid but it was the only thing I could think of to protect our baby Elliot."

"I don't think it's stupid." He whispered. "I think that by remembering something as tiny as that, you've proven that your gonna be a great mom Liv."

Olivia took Elliot by the tie and pulled him close to her kissing him softly. He responded equally as gentle knowing she'd been through entirely to much. He didn't want to accidentally hurt her.

"I love you." She whispered softly.

"I love you." He smiled back at her.

"Excuse me?" A nurse peeked into the room.

"Yes?" Olivia asked as Elliot sat in the chair next to her bed.

"Would you like to see your baby?" The nurse smiled bringing the plastic crib into the room. The baby was wrapped in a white blanket.

"Boy or girl?" Olivia asked with a smile, gesturing the nurse to hurry and bring the baby to her.

The nurse picked the baby up gently and transferred the little life to Olivia's loving arms. "A healthy baby boy." The nurse winked at Olivia. "He's hungry, have you thought of nursing or the bottle?"

"Nursing." Olivia smiled at her little boy. The nurse explained to her the technique used while breast-feeding and excused herself. "I'll be back shortly."

Olivia pushed the top of her gown down exposing her breast. She brought her baby close and allowed him to latch on. Elliot watch his wife feed they're son for the first time. She smiled watching his little mouth moving quickly to fill his tiny tummy.

"He's precious." She smiled smoothing his hark hair.

"Yep, just like his mom, but we can't call him Precious Stabler, they'll kill him in school." He grinned.

"Do you have anything in mind?" She smiled. "Isabelle isn't gonna work either."

"Well, as a matter of fact I do have something in mind." He looked at her as their son continued to suckle. "I know you wanted a strong name, so I did some research."

Olivia smiled at the fact that he was completely serious. "And what did you come up with?"

"Issac Regan Stabler." He offered.

"Can you justify naming our son that?" she smiled.

"The inherent meaning of Issac is laughter or gift from God. Regan means Ruler with spiritual strength."

Olivia smiled and returned her gaze to her son. "Hi, Issac." She spoke softly. "Welcome to the fold. Your dad's a little nutty but you and I will do just fine." She laughed softly.

Elliot kissed her gently on her lips. "Were all going to be just fine."

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Two weeks after Olivia and Elliot brought their son home, Issac lay asleep in his crib while Elliot and Olivia slept in one another's arms. Olivia was startled awake by the sound of her son's cries. She moved sleepily and pulled herself from his grasp.

"Hey, little man." She spoke soothingly as she approached the crib. She picked him up gently. "Is my little guy hungry again?" She asked already knowing that he was. In fact Issac was punctual, every two hours he demanded to be fed and Olivia happily agreed.

She exposed herself in the darkness of the room and let Issac latch on. She lowered herself on the rocking chair and silently prayed thanking the Lord for the gifts of her son and husband. Olivia recounted the last year of her life. It had been excruciatingly painful but here she was with the greatest reward imaginable.

Olivia shifted Issac over her shoulder and stood patting his tiny back. Looking out of the nursey window she waited for him to burp but was equally satisfied to feel Elliot standing behind her, Issac burped causing a gentle laugh from his parents. "He's asleep Liv." He said placing his hand on her shoulder and wrapping the other around her waist.

Elliot stood holding his wife in their son's nursery. Their only source of light, the moonlight from the window. "Marrying you was the best decision I ever made." Olivia spoke softly in order to not startle Issac.

Elliot squeezed her gently, "Loving you was the best decision I ever made."

Olivia stayed in his embrace allowing him to hold them both. She'd spent a lifetime running from the prospect of being or receiving love but here she was standing with her husband and newborn son not just receiving love but freely returning it.

THE END LOOK FOR THE SEQUEL "When I lay my baby down."


End file.
